This is yet another prompt type request thingy from my dear Twitter friend, Jono74656. I hope this is to your liking, dear.

I must say, it was strange and comforting writing something set in Season 1. It was a simpler time back then in the Days of Yore, when the only people you honestly ship Kurt with were Finn or Puck. If anything, we're spoilt now. Kurt's got himself a harem here in Fanfiction Land these days.

Anyway, chuck some reviews in my general direction.

And I do not own Glee. Or that thing about Kurt having a harem would've been canon and legit from the start.

This Wonderful Job of Mine

I hated this job a Sheets'n'Things, but I needed it. I needed it to pay off Ms. Corcoran after slashing those VA douche's tires, and whatever was left over I planned on giving to Quinn for doctors bills and stuff. But man, this job sucked ass. All I was doing was stacking shelves and folding towels and trying to stay away from Mr. Ryerson, who seemed to come here every other day just to yell at all the shop assistants – or, in my case, make me get stuff off of really high shelves or bend over to pick things up and then blatantly perv all over me. No wonder that creep got fired from McKinley.

Another big part of this shitty job was taking crap from Terri Schuester. She'd be a total MILF if she wasn't such a crazy bitch. I don't know how Mr. Schue was ever married to her. It was totally unfair too because she never gave Finn any crap, even after he'd ask her how to fold a sham for the millionth time. Typical. Finn's an idiot, but he still gets everything, everyone still acts like the sun shines out of his ass. Quinn did, and still kind of does I think. Rachel certainly does, even though all he ever seems to do is make her cry. Even Hummel does, for fuck sake. Trust McKinley's token gay kid to fall for a dumb, straighter than straight jock like Finn Hudson. Talk about doomed from the start.

If I sound bitter it's only because I am. Like, seriously. Why is it Finn that everyone falls for? Why is it that everyone wants to protect Finn's feelings? Why is Finn the guy in Glee Club who gets all the male lead solos and all the attention when he's a shit dancer and an average singer? Why does Finn get everything he wants without even trying, but I have to work my ass off just to get half the respect he does? I mean, Finn isn't even that cool. Yeah, he's the quarterback or whatever, but he's still a dork, and up until a few months ago he was still a freaking virgin (he denied it because of Rachel, but Santana told me all about it. Apparently it was four and a half minutes of her life she was never getting back). So what, am I supposed to just sit back and applaud while everything in his precious little life goes perfectly, while anyone I've ever had any proper, serious feelings for ignores me and throws themselves at his oversized feet?

No, I'm not just talking about Quinn. I'm talking about Rachel too, who may be annoying but is still my fellow hot Jew and can do way better. And I'm also talking about Hummel. What? Don't look at me like that. I'm a sex shark, okay, a stud. I'm allowed to appreciate the hotness in both genders. And I've been with some guys before – closet cases on the football team that have sworn me to secrecy – and, to be honest, gay sex is awesome. I know, I know, I used to give Kurt shit for being gay, chucking him in the dumpster and slushie facials and stuff, but that was before. It was before I joined Glee Club and before I got to know him. Now I'm crazy protective of him, but back then he was just that fruity kid with no friends who dressed like a girl. He was fair game and (I'll admit it) I was an idiot back then. But I've totally grown up now; enough to admit that Kurt Hummel is smokin' and I hate that he'd rather swoon over Finn than me.

Anyway, back to this wonderful job of mine. Mrs. Schue was once again going on and on and fucking on about what a terribly employee I was. I never do anything right, I'm not helpful to the costumers, I thought Jews were supposed to be smart, at least Finn can follow instructions, blah-dee-blah-dee-fucking-blah. It was around then that she decided to inform me that she'd just made Finn the assistant-assistant manager, because he 'displayed more responsibility than I did'. Seriously. That absolute shit-for-brains was already higher up than me, without even doing anything. Fuck my life.

I went to go stack some bed linen on the shelves, trying to push all the images of punching Finn in the face out of my head. We'd only just made it up after the whole me-knocking-his-girlfriend-up thing, so I didn't want to ruin it. Okay, so I resented him like hell, but he was still my boy and I didn't want things to be awkward. Just as I was stacking away something caught my eye and I looked up. I couldn't believe it.

Hummel was strolling down my aisle, scanning the bed sheets on the shelves. He must have come straight from a late Cheerios practice because he was still wearing that damn uniform. God bless the perv that designed those things. I didn't even know how it was possible, but those uniforms looked insanely hot on girls and guys, drawing your attention to the best features of whoever was wearing them. In Kurt's case, it drew my eye to the biceps I didn't even realise he had, his slim hips and his toned chest. Those track pants also made his ass look fantastic, and really drew my attention to his packet too. For some reason I always figured that Kurt was probably packing some serious inches. I mean, it's obvious to assume that he must be tiny just because he's this pale little twink, but... I don't know. His skinny jeans and Cheerios track pants always looked like they were bulging right there, so whenever I imagined him naked – which was about every nine or ten seconds – he was always huge.

But I'm getting off topic. Kurt was making his way closer to me, although he hadn't noticed that I was there yet as he was too busy picking out some bed sheets and putting them in his basket. He didn't actually look that happy, but then he hadn't looked genuinely happy in a while. And I hated seeing him sad. I could think of a whole bunch of ways to cheer him up, none of which I was 100% sure he'd go for and all of which were totally inappropriate.

"Sup, Hummel," I said, checking him out before I could stop myself. God, he was hot.

He looked at me and rolled his eyes with that freaking sexy look of contempt.

"Oh," he drawled. "I almost forgot you worked here."

I smirked at him. "So what are you doing here? Come to spy on Finn?"

He glared at me. "No, I have not. I needed some new bed linen, you imbecile. Can you leave me alone now please?"

"I'm a shop assistant, baby," I said. "I'm just assisting you while you shop."

"Did you seriously just call me baby?" he said, looking at me like I was crazy.

I didn't answer. I just looked him up and down, imagining everything I wanted to do to him.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" he asked uncomfortably. "You know I'm not actually a girl, right?"

"I know," I said, staring at his creamy neck and imagining leaving a nice hickey there. "It's just hard not to stare when you're in that uniform, baby."

He definitely looked confused now. "Am I going insane, or are you coming onto me?"

I just chuckled. "I know you'd rather it was Finn doing the flirting. Hate to break it to you, baby, but that's never gonna happen."

He was glaring at me all over again, his cheeks going even rosier. He was so cute when he blushed.

"Don't look so surprised," I said. "I know you've been crushing on Finn since forever. You and the rest of the freaking world..."

"Actually," he said kind of sadly. "I'm not really in to Finn anymore. At least, not as much as before. I mean... it's pointless, right?"

"Extremely," I said. "He'll never like you like that. He'll never appreciate how hot you are."

He looked up at me with his eyebrows raised in shock. "You... you think I'm... hot?"

"Smoking hot," I smirked. "Especially in that damn Cheerios uniform. You can do so much better than a dumb punk like Finn."

He scoffed, even though he was still blushing. "What, like you?"


I moved closer to him and cupped his face, planting a soft little kiss on his lips before he could stop me. He gasped, but he didn't push me away. Damn, his lips were so soft. Kissing him was even better than it was in my head. When I finally pulled away I looked right into his eyes. Even this close up it was hard to tell whether they were blue or green.

"I can't believe my first kiss was in the middle of Sheets'n'Things," he whispered. "With you."

"I was your first kiss?"

"First kiss with a guy anyway."

I smiled and stroked his cheek. "It's an honour, baby."

He was still staring at me, kind of awestruck I guess. I had a pretty wild idea.

"Come on."

I took the basket out of his hand and left it on the floor, and then held onto his hand and pulled him away, peering between the aisles to make sure I didn't bump into Terri the Terrible. Finally I got us to the stock room at the back of the store and pulled him in after me, shutting the door behind us. Unfortunately it didn't lock from the inside, but I've always loved a little danger.

"What are we doing in here?" he asked.

Rather than answer, I took hold of him by the waist and kissed him again, much harder this time. He let out a little whimper, resting his hands on my chest as he eventually kissed me back. Holy shit, it was heaven. The way he kissed me... man, it was like he'd been waiting forever for it. When I licked his bottom lip he sighed and let me in, sucking my tongue into his mouth and moaning – fucking moaning. I pushed him up against the wall, exploring his mouth. He tasted so sweet, but I wasn't sure what of. Maybe it was just the taste of pure Kurt. Whatever it was, it was delicious. I moved from his lips down to that creamy neck of his, sucking and nibbling his pale, soft skin.

"What... what if someone... someone walks in?" he stammered.

I sucked on his earlobe, slipping my hand up his Cheerios top and caressing his flat, toned, downy stomach.

"I don't care," I whispered, making him shiver.

"But if someone catches us," he insisted breathlessly. "You might get in trouble... you might get fired or something."

My hand moved lower, under his waistband, and cupped his junk through his underwear. He gasped.

"You'll just have to be really quiet then, huh?" I whispered in his ear. "And besides, it would be worth losing this shitty job just to make you come."

He let out a kind of half gasp, half moan thing as I palmed his crotch and sucked on his neck, leaving a pretty sizable hickey. I tried to do it just right so that it would be shaped like a heart. Finally I slipped my hand down his underwear and wrapped my hand around his swelling cock, stroking him slowly. He felt so thick. He rested his head against my shoulder and let out this surprisingly deep, growly moan.

"Oh my God, Noah..."

Hearing him say my name like that was so fucking hot.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted this, baby," I whispered. "I want to taste this pretty cock of yours. I want it filling my mouth. I want to make you come so hard your knees go weak, and I'm swallowing every last gorgeous drop of you."

He was trembling against me, his cock even more swollen and hot in my hand.

"Please," his breathed desperately against my shoulder.

I smiled and planted another kiss on his lips, before going down on my knees and pulling his pants down to his ankles. My assumptions were correct – Kurt Hummel was packing. His hard on was long and thick and leaking, practically radiating heat. I looked up into his eyes, smirking to show that I liked what I saw, before I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock, flicking my tongue against his hole to lap up his tasty pre-come. He threw his head back with another deep moan as I took all of that glorious length in my mouth until my nose was buried right in his meticulously trimmed pubes. I just stayed like that for a second, feeling his cock throb and swell against my tongue, savouring it.

I know it's usually seen as a bad thing to be a cocksucker, kind of sissy or whatever. But seriously, don't knock it until you've tried it. And I personally pride myself on my cock sucking talents. I think it's because I don't really have much of a gag reflex. I knew just what to do to drive a guy wild, and I was going to do it all to Kurt.

I bobbed my head back and forth, swirling my tongue and sucking hard, humming gently around his shaft as I moved faster and sucked harder. His crown tickled the back of my throat but I was a pro, like a said, and I didn't gag. I fondled his ball at the same time and looked up to see that he'd braced himself against the wall, biting his lip so he wouldn't make too much noise and breathing short and quick. The quiet moans he was letting out were fucking porn star worthy – sometimes high and needy, and other times deep and really manly. But it wasn't enough yet. I wanted my boy falling apart.

I took him out of my mouth, still jerking him off with my left hand while sucked on the two fingers of my right. I nudged his legs so he'd spread them a little wider and took his cock in my mouth again, putting my hand between his legs and teasing his asshole with one wet finger. He gasped shakily, his hand on the back of my head, and I was able to push my finger right inside him. Sucking him off at the same time really relaxed him. Fuck, he felt so tight around my finger. I could just imagine how it would feel to be buried balls-deep inside him, squeezed nice and tight as I fucked him senseless. But right now I'd have to settle for fucking him with my fingers.

He bucked his hips forward as I pushed my finger in and out of him, pretty much fucking my mouth as I fingered his ass. He hisses when I added a second finger, but pushed down against my hand, clearly wanting more. I thrust my fingers into him faster, keeping in time with my sucking so that every time my mouth pulled back off his cock my fingers would push inside his ass. I twisted my fingers, looking for that magic spot inside him, and once I hit it his whole body shook and he was coming hard, erupting down my throat with a kind of silent scream. I swallowed every last drop of his salty seed, licking him clean. How is it that everything about him tasted so good?

I pulled his pants back up and stood up, looking at him. His face was flushed and his eyes were still close and there were marks on his bottom lip from biting it so hard. I held onto his hips as he caught his breath, leaning forward to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. He suddenly gasped and opened his eyes, pushing me away slightly and looking down. I guess he'd felt my boner pushing against his hip.

"Don't worry about it," I said. "You don't have to return the favour or anything."

"R-really?" he stuttered. "I... I thought..."

"Seriously, baby," I said, stroking his cheek. "It's fine. I'll just think about dead kittens and stuff until cool off."

"But then what are you getting out of this hook up?" he said really quickly, blushing right afterwards.

I looked at him sincerely. "You are not just another hook up. It was more than enough for me just to make you come so hard. I think you're awesome, Kurt. And gorgeous, and perfect, and totally amazing."

He looked at me, his sparkling, greeny-blueish eyes wide with surprise.

"Wanna go out to dinner with me tomorrow night?" I asked.

"You're asked me out?" he said incredulously. "Like, on an actual date?"

"Totally," I said. "I'll take you to Breadstix, my treat. I promise I won't even run out without paying the bill, even though that's what I usually do. I'll make it real romantic, and we can even dress all formal if you like. So how about it, baby?"

He smiled beautifully, pulling me down into a sweet little kiss. "I'd never thought I'd say this, but I'd love to."

We snuck out of the stock room – it was a miracle that no one caught us – and made our way back to the aisle where we'd left Kurt's basket. We were just about to say our goodbyes when Terri the Terrible came out of nowhere, glaring at me as usual. Great.

"There you are, Puckerman! Have you been napping in the throw pillow display again? See, this is why Finn is the assistant-assistant manager and you're not, because he can show a little initiative," (I bet Finn couldn't even spell initiative). "You're supposed to be shelving the bed sheets, not pestering the costumers, since we both know that you have no interest in actually assisting people."

"Actually," Kurt suddenly piped up beside me. "Noah's been very helpful."

Mrs. Schue looked at him. She'd obviously only just noticed that he was standing there.

"Excuse me?" she said haughtily, as if daring him to disagree that I was a waste of space.

"Yeah, he helped me pick out some new bed linen," said Kurt kindly. "He was very accommodating, and he explained all about the different thread counts and everything. I personally think you're very lucky to have Noah as an employee, Mrs Schuester."

"Right... well, good," she said, trying to smile even though she still looked pissed off. That smile faded as she looked back at me. "Go restock the toilet brush holders."

She stomped off, probably to go find someone else to boss around. When I looked at Kurt he was smirking at me. God, he was just so fucking hot.

"Thank for that, baby."

"No problem."

We shared one last lingering look before he walked off towards the check out to pay for his stuff. He looked over his shoulder with that same sexy smirk on his face, swinging his hips as he walked so I couldn't help but look at that perfect ass in those damn Cheerios track pants. He walked right passed Finn and didn't even give him a second look. I swear, I could've cheered. This wonderful job of mine was actually getting pretty good.

Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers :)