Hello great people of Gorilaz fan fiction. I just want to say that this is my first Gorillaz fan fic ever. I just got into them about a month ago and I'm really digging them. I heard of them way before, like, back when I was 8. They just weren't really clicking for me. Now I'm sixteen and they're pretty damn good in my opinion. I got this idea thinking about how Murdoc was like one big party animal, and then I thought, "But wait, the other band mates might have some great stories to share." I tried to match this up with the folk-lore of the Gorrilaz as much as I possibly could. If something was out of place, I'm sorry; I'll try to do better next time.

And so, with that out of the way, here it is. THE GREATEST STORIES EVER TOLD!


It wasn't a happy reunion as it was. In fact, it was almost downright barbaric. Anger and evil at its very center core, the reunion was dramatically violent. For, the first thing that Noodle vowed that she would do when she arrived at plastic beach and greeted her fellow band mates was that she would have her revenge. And lord, when Russell opened his mouth at plastic beach and Noodle removed her mask as she stared down her cyborg counterpart, she did just that.

There was a couple of seconds of blissful silence as the two opponents' stared each other down in absolute concentration; a momentary pause of calm serenity before the fatal explosion of chaos. Then, howling at the top of her lungs like some sort of deranged animal, Noodle gave forth some bizarre Japanese battle cry, and then thrust herself into battle as she began to rip that robot limb from limb with her cold bare hands. There was No mercy whatsoever. There was no time. The guitarist known as Noodle had spoken. There was only chaos, and then, oil.

Murdoc, who witnessed the beginning half of the battle from the roof of their compounds at plastic beach, was just about ready to protest and exclaim "Noodle! The hell ya doin'?" Being the band leader, he always assumed what was best for the band and didn't give two shits what any other band member thought about his decisions. So when Noodle started her attack, Murdoc was filled with anger. But as the battle continued on, that fear was immediately and drastically replaced with fear.

When Noodle ripped the arm out of the robot's socket, causing black oil spraying itself every which way like water from a firehouse, and as that same black sludge not only created a black pool under their feet, but also began smeared itself across Noodle's face, giving her angry glare an almost demonic quality to it, it was safe to say that Murdoc decided that for his own safety, he would shut the fuck up.

He ran drastically back inside the compound and hid behind a couch, almost quivering. Thoughts began to appear in his brain almost randomly and at unbelievable speeds. Some of these thoughts ranged from, 'how did she get so violent all of a sudden?' to, 'how did Russell get so tall?' And of course, 'how did they get here?' But the thought that bothered him the most, the thought that transformed him from the almighty, powerful, rock god that was Murdoc, to the quivering fearful green bassist behind the couch in the front room, was this. 'If she is that mad with my robot….oh sweet Satan…..what's she gonna do to me?'

Suddenly, a tapping of one's finger to his shoulder stirred him from his thoughts, followed by a confused and befuddle voice proclaiming, "Murdoc, wha d' hell's goin' on?"

Murdoc reacted with a jump, and a small exclamation of "Ahh!" Followed by a slap to 2D's face causing the lead singer to quiver in a manner similar to like Murdoc's earlier pose. "Dammit Face-ache!" Murdoc whispered rather harshly. "Don't you ever sneak up on me like that again or so help me Satan I'll rip your bloody guts out!"

2D began to cower like he always does and he spoke with that same lisp that everyone had grown accustomed to. "'m so sorway Murdoc!" 2D proclaimed as he trembled. He braved the courage to pass the leader of the Gorrilaz and began to peep through the blinds that were just to the right of them.'it's jus I wann know wha's goin' on out dare!" he moved his head up & down, Left & right, even sideways, but still, he couldn't get a good view of what was causing all the ruckus.

Then, 2D noticed something rather peculiar. He's black holes for eyes began to scan Murdoc's body, as he realized Murdoc's body posture was sorta out of whack. It was uncommon for Murdoc to be paranoid, unless he was on his usual coke binges. And noticing that there was no white powder surrounding his nasal areas, 2D realized that Murdoc was expressing true, unconscious, terrifying fear. Murdoc must've seen something really terrible outside. 2D, not thinking as he usually does, decided to point that out. "Y ya tremblin'?" 2D asked with much curiosity and worriment.

To which, 2D received a back hand to the back of his head.

"You fool, you must have me confused with someone else." Murdoc proclaimed with a rather indecorous yet self-righteous voice. "I am the great Murdoc. And Murdoc quivers to no man."

"Yeah, unless that man's a girl, in which case he cowers like a baby." A random voice supplied from in front of them.

The boys turned their heads and notice the third piece to their band puzzle. Russell stood before them with a quirked brow; his eyes still whiter than ever. Also, while he seemed expressionless, the smallest hint of a smile appeared on the left side of his face. Murdoc found the presence of his drummer rather odd, because the last time he saw Russell, which was only a few minutes ago, he was gigantic. How did he get so small? There was no possible way a black giant could squeeze through the tight doorways that filled the plastic beach house.

"HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE!" Murdoc exclaimed. "Aren't you like 50 feet tall?"

"I don't remember Rus bein dat big." 2D mumbled in an almost autistic manner.

"Nah 2D, he's right. I have gotten pretty big." Russel said with his smile now fully grown. He chuckled and instinctively, he patted his stomach.

"You've finally admitted it ya big lard." Murdoc stated with an evil sadistic grin. The good old green bastard was back, but not for long.

"And to answer your question Murdoc, it's simple," he began. "I simply absorbed some chemical waste while I was swimming towards plastic beach. It allows me to control my size and body weight. Now I can grow and shrink on cue."

Murdoc cocked a brow in disbelief. "So you can whimsically change your size about when you simply feel like it?" the band leader asked with a rather traumatized quality to his voice. The fact that his drummer could now seep into the most private of areas….it scared Murdoc quite a bit.

"Yep," Russell acknowledge in a strange monotone voice.

Suddenly, both Murdoc and Russell noticed something and snapped their heads towards the windows. The sounds of battle had seized to be. The fighting must've stopped. Yet, when Murdoc turned around and poked his head from around the couch to look out the window, he saw nothing. It was as if the fighting had never started to begin with. 2D, however, didn't catch on to the battle in the first place, assuming that the noises outside, were purely noises. So, he asked Russell, "What's goin on out dare?"

"Nothing that concerns you," Murdoc grumbled as he tilted his head to try and get a better angle to view the beach from the window.

"Noodle's back." Russell interjected, not caring at all what Murdoc would've thought about his actions.

2D's face beamed with happiness. He gave forth a big smile which revealed that giant gap in his teeth. "Noodle's back?" he shouted with much enthusiasm, almost as if it were too good to be true. His expression was purley childlike. It was similar to the face of a ten-year-old's when they find out that the girl they have a crush on likes them back as well. Pure, unconditional, joy.

"Yes," Murdoc replied solemnly yet quickly as he looked about the windows. He almost grumbled out the reply as if he was defeated. Then, he went straight back into leader/dictator-mode. "And you should be bloody well scared about it." Murdoc proclaimed fiercely like a stern father to his disobedient child.

"Y should I?" 2D asked rather curiously.

Murdoc grabbed 2D by the front of his 'hello kinky' t-shirt, (which was rather thin like cotton, and almost torn apart under the deathly vice grip coming from Murdoc's hands), and pulled him up towards his face, closely. With and extreme sense of fear and loathing, Murdoc loudly proclaimed with fire in his eyes, "She's going to FUCKING KILL US!"

"Kill you," Russell supplied as he pointed. "I don't see her killing any of us. We did nothing wrong. You're the one that decided to replace her."

"IT WAS FOR THE GOOD OF THE BAND!" Murdoc exclaimed. "I had to think about long term things. I tried to save her in hell! Id did everything I feasibly could do. But hell is not a simple get in and get out sorta thing. I had to think about bigger stuff, like, who's gonna play the guitar for the next album. Once she realizes that, she'll understand."

"I don't know," Russell stated with a certain amount of skepticism. "She must be pretty angry at you in order for her to destroy the robot like that."

2D was dumbfounded. "She's destroying the robot."

"I assume she already has." Russel said as he looked up, his attention briefly captured when he heard a rattle coming from the door.

"Wha makes yew say dat?" 2D asked.

"Because she's acting like a bat out of hell and was freaking demolishing the robot the last time I saw her, that's why!" Murdoc exclaimed with anger, exasperation, and fear.

"And, because she's already at the door." Russell commented as he noticed the shadowy silhouette through the yellow tinted window turning the knob from the other side.

Suddenly, with a violent SLAM!

The door had opened.

Murdoc, unwilling and out of pure instinct, stood up to see what was the cause of the noise. Instantly, he ducked down and began to quiver behind the couch. Panic had struck him like a bucket of water. First was the initial shock of what he had just witness; then came the dread as he listened to the footsteps getting closer and closer. For when he stood up, he saw Noodle, basked in all her angry glory and horrible splendor. She walked slowly, yet casually. However, with each step, Murdoc could've sworn it sounded like she was marching towards him; marching towards a mission objective; Kill Murdoc Niccals!

2D, however, was rather glad that Noodle had arrived, and ran out from their little shelter from the side of the couch, and straight towards Noodle proclaiming, "Nood-luv. How r ya?" The happiness in his voice couldn't every be masked in a billion years. No one had seen, nor heard, 2D this happy before. He clutched the guitarist with a fierce hug, stopping her dead in her tracks. She took a brief moment to pat the lead singer on the back. She had missed him. She had missed them all, no doubt about it. But there was one person that needed a strict, strict, talking to.

Suddenly, 2D pulled back from Noodle. He looked down, and was somewhat disgusted. His 'hello Kinky' t-shirt, was completely covered with giant spots of muck-like oil stains. It could've easily been mistaken for tar. That's how thick the oil was. "eww! How'd ya get dat all ova ya?" 2d asked pointing at Noodle.

Noodle looked down at her own attire and slightly giggled. She never lost that serious face though. Her red and white striped dress was no longer red and white. Most of everything was pitch black. She was covered from head to toe with the robot's oil. It was like as if she was dumped into a giant vat of black paint. However, the oil was about as thick as mud. It over cumbered her' made her feel heavy. Some of it even splatter very neatly across her eyes as if she chopped the robot to death with an axe. (Which was partly true, just replace the word 'axe' with 'samurai sword.') Behind her, a trail of muck, filth, and even more oil laid wake in her path.

She looked like hell. Good. Maybe this intimidating look would make Murdoc actually listen to her.

She took three more steps as she turned and marched towards the side of the couch where the bassist shook with fear. Murdoc still quivered slightly as he dreaded what this woman might do to him. He had never seen her so angry before. Hell, he had never seen anyone this angry before since his father, and that sent chills down his spine. Painful past memories were brought up, and when added with what he just witnessed, cause his paranoia to spike dramatically. Not enough to make him scream and run, but he started sweating profusely.

Suddenly, the walking stopped. No more footsteps resounded themselves. The clack of shoes marching along the floor seized to be. This caught Murdoc's curiosity immediately. He moved his head upward and looked along the couch in desperation to see what would have caused such a thing to happen. There was no more Noodle walking towards him. That was very odd. He looked up and noticed that 2D and Russell were still standing there. But why did they look so shocked? And why were they quivering? What were they looking at?

He sat back down, looked to his right, and screamed.

Standing before him with a coy, yet devilish smile, was none other than Noodle. He eyes were blocked out by the bangs of her hair, but Murdoc could still see the bruise that had formed under one of her eyes. In her right hand, she held out before him, the Android's head. Its face was shaped in a ghastly, ghostly, horrific expression of torture and pain. Its eyes were welded shut. Dangling from her neck was multiple wires and hoses, which dripped and sparked every few seconds. It reminded Murdoc of multiple death scenes in horror movies. The face had its mouth opened like a black hole, from which the soul had escaped.

Murdoc's brain couldn't quite comprehend the terrible image that had just painted itself into the wall of his brain. It would take years of either therapy or drinking before that image of Noodle holding aloft the head of the robot would go away. Suddenly, Noodle tossed the head towards Murdoc. It landed right on his lap. Its face looked up at him. It still sparked, and sputtered, and the oil still dripped down from its neck like the last remaining droplets of blood from a recently killed body.

Murdoc looked up at Noodle, flabbergasted. His body unconsciously embraced itself for Noodle's violent attack. Noodle only smiled.

"….I'm going to let this one slide Murdoc." She announced.

He looked up with a questionable look. He didn't quite get what Noodle was saying.

"I understand that trying to rescue me from hell would've been a hell of a task, no pun intended." She replied. "I also understand that my absence might have came at a horrible time for you all. I understand that you worked hard and you tried desperately to get me back. You did all that you could, and you failed."

Murdoc opened his mouth to protest but she proclaimed, "Don't you dare deny it." And so, the band leader shut his trap.

"You tried, you really tried, And that, I can respect." Noodle said, ending with a smile.

A wave of relief washed over him like a tidal wave. He whipped away sweat that had gathered along his forehead with the back of his arm. He sighed a clear and happy sigh of release, freed from the fear of Noodle's uncompromising anger.

He might've celebrated that victory too soon.

"But if you can think that you can take some washed up, cybernetic, whore and teach it to play guitar," she violently grabbed the front of Murdoc's shirt and shook him. She brought him up close to her face, hoping that her words would not be misinterpreted, "and if you think that could replace me, then you are sorely mistaken!" she grunted viciously. "If you ever, EVER, pull a stunt like this again, I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! Understood?"

He frantically shook his head 'yes' up and down in reply. His reaction was identical to a youngling being yelled at by his principle.

But suddenly, halfway through his desperate plea of forgiveness, he started to smile. He almost looked like he was about to laugh. in fact, that's just what he started doing. slow, like a chuckle, but then he started cackling like a hyena a few seconds later.

"What's so funny?" Noodle asked inquisitively.

"I remember that I taught you cuss words." Murdoc replied with a smile. "They seemed to have aided you fairly well." Then he chuckled deviously once more.

Noodle sighed in exasperation; annoyed at first with Murdoc's reaction. Then she began to smile. Good ol Murdoc was back, and he also had taken in her words of counsel seriously. She looked at Murdoc briefly and began to walk away. Her mission was completed and her objective had been achieved. She doubted that Murdoc would ever make another robot again.

2D and Russell watched this girl with completely awestruck faces. They were flabbergasted by the sight that had bestowed itself upon them just a few seconds ago. Then, shaking off their dazed attitudes, 2D and Russell had gathered by the floor around Murdoc and assisted him into sitting on the couch.

Few minutes later All 3 of them were now sitting on the three couches which surrounded the giant coffee table in a square. They started to shoot the shit. 2D and Russell asked simple questions, such as 'did you see that?' 'What the hell?' 'How has she changed so much?' and most importantly, 'she sure has grown up, hasn't she?'

That was the one fact that the band had to come to terms with while they sat around waiting for Noodle to return from wherever she walked off to. Noodle had grown up. She was no longer the small little 10 year old child that came to their studios in a fed-ex crate. She was a woman, a fully realized woman. She had attitude, she had wisdom, she had spry, and even if she was only 19, (2D had counted the years that she was away), she had matured more than any of the other members of the band. Even her presence alone, caused other members of the band to mature drastically and change their ways. In his brief encounter and intense talk with Noodle earlier, Murdoc had experienced things that he hadn't experienced in a long time. Fear, loathing, trepidation, and happiness; He experienced them all profoundly with just one intense talk from the Japanese guitar god.

Still, even though she was older and wiser, and possible maybe because of this, it surprised everybody when she walked back in the room with her mask on, and a giant bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand, (possibly raided from Murdoc's liquor cabinet).

They shot her inquisitive looks. "You drink?" Murdoc asked.

"hell yeah," She replied as she sipped from the bottle, tilting her head so she wouldn't have to remove the mask.

She began to walk towards the couch closes to her, which had been the one where Russell sat at. As she did this, Russell grumbled into the palms of his hands, "Oh baby girl, what the hell happened?"

"I grew up Russell-san." Noodle replied swiftly. She took another sip of the alcohol as she got relaxed and comfortable in her position on the couch. A brief silence had fallen among the band. This provided a great opportunity for Murdoc and 2D to pull out a cigarette and start smoking. They each placed one in their mouth and began to light. As Murdoc lit his, however, he began to stare down Noodle curiously. He kept eying cautiously and with a somewhat befuddled stare that none of the band members weren't accustomed to.

"What's up?" she asked Murdoc with much interest as to why he was staring her down.

"What's with the mask?" Murdoc asked nonchalantly. This got picked up on 2D's conversation radar as well.

"Yeah. Wha's wif the mask luv?" 2D asked peculiarly.

Noodle sighed and exclaimed under her breath, "Are you freaking kidding me?" she lifted up her Omni mask so her face was shown for the entire world to see. The scars were self evident and courageously bold. Her black eye was humongous and it seemed as if it would take months for the scars to heal. Even then, the mental scars would probably still remain.

The entire band was rather shocked and stunned by the sight of Noodle's swollen face. But, instead of expressing their amazement through a series of gasp followed by 'are you ok' type questions, (which Noodle was expecting them to do), 2D simply looked up at Noodle and said, "Yew still look beautiful luv."

Her heart melted slightly. "Thank you Stu," she stated. Then she tried to put her mask back on. Suddenly, Russell had stopped her with a hand to the shoulder.

"Why you trying to put that mask on?" Russell asked plainly.

Noodle's only reply was. "I look rather hideous don't you think."

Murdoc shook his head in an almost disappointing manner and tsked Noodle mimicry. Russell almost chuckled in embarrassment for Noodle's sake. And 2D, being as passionate as he was for his beloved sister-like figure, spoke clearly for the first time…ever. "Noodle, you'ff looked like a lot of fings over the years. Tired, angwee, happy, sad, but yew can never, ever, be hideous. You're wif us. Please, remove the mask."

"Yeah," Russell piped in right beside her. "I fully agree. You're in the sanctity of your home. Please. Take off the mask."

"c'mon love. Do it," Murdoc supplied.

It basically got to the point where the whole band started proclaiming 'take off the mask' in a sort of weird ritualistic chant. Until, finally, with a smile, Noodle removed her mask and the entire band cheered. Silence fell amongst them once more after the cheering had seized to be. Suddenly, Murdoc supplied with a question.

"Ehh, you know," Murdoc began. "This is going to sound rather stupid…..but um….how've you….how've you been?" Murdoc inquired.

Noodle shot Murdoc an almost incredulous look. But, she was smiling, so she took no offense to his question. "That is rather stupid," Noodle began. "But I fully understand what you mean, so I'll answer it anyways." She took a swig from her bottle. "I've seen better day's guys. Better days. Hell was hell, as it were, and I escaped from the bowls of the unkown when I was around….17 I believe. I don't fully remember much. I stayed on the coast of Mexico on this little shelter-like village place for about a year. Then, a buddy of mine which was the first person I met in Mexico managed to gather up some tickets and he got me on that big boat which you guys used footage from for the melancholy hill video. I lived on that ship for about a year. It traveled all over the place. Then the pirates attacked, and I landed on a lifeboat. Then Russell brought me here. So yeah…..that's basically what my life has been like in a nutshell. Good times, bad times, but better days. Way better days." She took another swig of her bottle, symbolizing an end to her story.

"Anything good come out of it?" Russell asked in a blasé like manner.

Noodle mimicked as if she was thinking about it real hard, and then, with a smile and a cheerful voice filled with her Japanese accent, she replied, "I started drinking." This had received several chuckles from the other band mates. Then she stated, "But no….seriously…..um…not much. I mean, I met some good friends. There was good days, bad days, the whole shit. But, not really anything good that came out of it for out benefit. I did go to one of my first ever parties. That was cool. And I did get seriously drunk for the first time ever, but that's another story."

This caught Murdoc's attention immediately. Being the party animal of the group, to hear that others were partying as well, it made him the official judge of one's partying. He was the expert. It was not a party, until Murdoc had given his consensus. So, quirking a brown, Murdoc proclaimed, "Really?" with an inquisitive and mischief look. "Tell us about it."

"No,no, you don't want to hear it." Noodle had proclaimed as she waved her hand about in an almost shoeing fashion.

"Aww, c'mon. tell us. I really wanna hear it." Murdoc stated. Then, he added, "Russell, how about you?"

"While it's kinda weird that I'm about to hear Noodle, a person who's like a sister to me, bringing up a drunk story, I don't mind." Russell replied. "In fact, I'm rather curious. So tell us girly."

"yeah. I've neva thought I'd c de day where I'd getta hear noodle talk bout getting fuck up. I've probably been moe messed up than u were on dat day." 2D exclaimed with a smile, showing the gap between his teeth.

"I doubt it." Noodle replied.

"So tell us luv." 2D demanded with a grin.

Again, the entire band started chanting like a strange Indian tribe, "Tell us, tell us," until, finally, Noodle's composer broke. And she agreed to tell the story.

"Ok, ok," she said with a smile as she held out her hand symbolizing for her friends to stop. "I'll tell you about the first time I got drunk on this ship." She jokingly coughed as if she were about to make some grand speech. Then, she went on with her story.


Next time on 'greatest stories ever told,' Noodle gets fucked up! Lol. Anyways, I really hope that I did well on this being it's my first Gorillaz fan fic. I hope I kept it somewhat in the lore, and I hope you enjoyed. The next chapters will be the band member's stories. Each chapter is a different individual. When this story is finished, please tell me which band member's story you like the best. For each chapter, please tell me your favorite part. It would really hope me out so I could fine tune the humor. I really hope you liked this.

PLEASE REVIEW! MORE CHAPTERS WILL FOLLOW!