Here's another idea I got from my head. I remember reading about the CEO of Texas Armoring Corporation wanting to test his bulletproof windshield, and he wanted to do something more than a leaflet campaign. He wanted to redefine standing behind his product. This is where this idea came from. I hope you enjoy this little one shot!
Finn McMissile pulled his Aston Martin into the parking lot outside of the CHROME headquarters. Finn had to admit, they'd done a genius job of making it look like an ordinary office workers building. The British spy got out of his car and straightened his tie. Even after tough assignments like this one, he still looked smart in his blue suit.
"Leland." Finn spoke while looking up. Leland Turbo was standing next to his Jaguar.
"Yes Finn. My thoughts exactly." Leland replied. "This last one was a tough one, let me tell you."
"Indeed." Finn said. "I could have sworn, any closer and those lemons would have grabbed my tie. I don't get paid enough for this, especially on tough assignments like this."
"Certainly. I'd expect at least a fiver more for preventing the assassination of that racer bloke! What was his name again? Lightning McQueen?"
"Yes. Trouble is, the boss is miserable at this time of year. He just won't give anyone a pay rise."
"And what are we supposed to do to get one? Get caught by the lemons? Get involved in a pile up with that McQueen bloke? Shoot the boss in the face?"
"Hold on..." Finn's face lit up. "I think I've got an idea. Just be ready to back me up if anything goes wrong, as nothing says pay freeze quite like shot commanding officer in the face." With that, Finn marched into the building, a determined look in his eyes.
"Finn?" Leland shouted after him. "Just what the bloody hell are you doing? Finn?"
Inside, Finn didn't stop until he reached the desk of the most important man in CHROME.
"Ah, McMissile." Chief Giffard boomed in his deep British accent, a cigar in his hand. "I presume the mission went well?"
"Certainly." Finn replied. "But we have a matter to discuss."
"What is it?"
"My pay rise."
"Oh." Giffard stood up, straightening his suit as he did so. "Your pay rise."
"Yes." Finn took out a piece of paper that had a lot of tally marks in it. He also took out a pencil and drew another tally mark. "I asked for a pay rise a while ago. And yes, I kept count. 27 missions and counting, and I still haven't received a pound more than when I asked 27 missions ago."
"Ah yes McMissile. Your pay rise will come soon."
"That's the same excuse you always give me."
"Oh. Well in that case, I'll give you a new excuse."
"I can't wait." Finn rolled his eyes.
"Your pay rise will come soon."
"Yippee." Finn motioned for him to sit down. "I'll be back."
Finn walked into the leisure center part of the complex. He could see his trusted pilot Siddeley in the middle of the basketball court, looking over a windshield.
"Hello Siddeley." He called out.
"Hi there Finn." Siddeley answered.
"What's this?" Finn pointed to the windshield.
"It's a piece of bulletproof glass. I ordered it for the plane yesterday. I'm wondering whether it'll stand up to small arms fire."
"Well." Finn looked at his friend. "I think I've got the perfect excuse to test it out." He turned around and started to walk off. "Just don't tell anyone how the chief was encouraged to give me a pay rise."
"That'll be the day."
Finn was now walking towards the armory, where all kinds of firearms were kept, from pistols to shotguns to assault rifles.
"Afternoon Finn." Finn recognized that voice.
"Afternoon Holley." Finn replied. Holley was at her desk, looking smart in her purple suit. Finn often reminded her about how her desk agent days were over, and how much of an obsession she had with the color. Both habits refused to go away.
"What do you need in the armory?"
"Just something I want to practice with."
"Oh." Holley pressed a button and the door opened. "Take your pick."
5 minutes later, Finn walked out of the armory. He inserted a magazine into the AK-47 rifle he was holding, and pulled back on the charging handle.
"Oh, practicing with a Kalashnikov, are we?" Holley remarked.
"Anything goes wrong, say Grem and Acer did it." Finn started his determined march towards the chief's desk.
Giffard noticed Finn coming back, AK-47 in his hands and a stern look on his face. He marched over to Giffard.
"Are you going to give me a pay rise?" Finn asked monotonously.
"Well, go on another mission and I might think about it." Giffard replied.
Finn sighed. "It's already been 27 missions since I first asked for a pay rise." He thought about what he was going to do. "Come with me."
Finn walked at a steady pace towards the basketball court. He stopped just short of the door.
"Last chance. Are you going to give me a pay rise?" Finn asked once again, staring straight into his Chief's eyes.
"I've already told you Finn, one more mission and I'll think about it."
"And I've already told you chief, that is one mission too many. And this is the last time you refuse me a pay rise." He took his chief's hand and dragged him into the basketball court. He shoved him behind Siddeley's windshield. "Don't move."
"Ah, I see. This is extortion. Never! I have my dignity!" Giffard witnessed Finn taking a few steps back. He then removed the magazine, checked for any jams, then re-inserted the magazine. Flicking the fire selector switch to semi automatic, he eyed up his target. One windshield, made by Texas Armoring Corporation, said to be bulletproof, and currently the only thing standing between him and his boss.
"OK Finn, can we negotiate?" Giffard said with a hint of shakiness in his voice. Finn simply pulled back on the charging handle. "How about a spare car?" Finn looked down the sights of the Soviet assault rifle. "A bigger machine gun?" Finn checked his grip on the AK-47. "A second partner? You sure about this Finn?"
"You've had your chance." With that, Finn raised the rifle, looked down the aiming sights and fired three shots. Three massive cracks appeared in the windshield, but amazingly, Giffard was unharmed.
"OK! OK! OK! I'll give you a pay rise!" Giffard practically screamed. "£5000 extra and an easier assignment next time!"
Finn took out the magazine and put the AK-47 on the floor. "Thank you very much chief. You can get clean underpants when this is over. If only you'd given me a pay rise 27 missions ago, I wouldn't have to do this."
At that moment, Finn turned around to see three people in the doorway.
"Finn? What happened?" Holley questioned.
"Bloody hell Finn! You were serious!" Leland had a very shocked look on his face.
"Yes!" Siddeley celebrated. "It really can block bullets!"
"And £2500 pay rises for them as well!" Giffard continued. "Now, is there anything else I can do?"
At that moment, an American man in a blue suit appeared in the doorway. He walked up beside Finn, and pulled back on the charging handle on the PKP machine gun he was holding.
"Excuse me boss." Rod Redline spoke. "I want a pay rise..."
That finishes this little one shot. This was inspired by a real test, and after seeing the CEO of Texas Armoring Corporation stood behind his product (haha!) while a brave/mad/desperate to get a pay rise employee shot it with Soviet Russia's most well known rifle, I knew that Finn would be desperate to get his pay rise. Now for the disclaimer.
I do not own anything in this story, except for Chief Giffard. Other characters belong to Disney Pixar. Any brand name or product belongs to their respective brand.
SAFETY NOTICE: Please do not try this at home, or anywhere else for that matter. There is no such thing as a 100% bulletproof windshield. This "test" was conducted by trained professionals (well, one of them anyway!). Please do not attempt to re-enact the events in this story. Please try to search for less dangerous ways to get a pay rise. Besides, Finn said it himself. There is nothing that freezes your pay faster than shooting your boss in the face with an AK-47.
Please leave a review if you want. It would be greatly appreciated! Until next time!