I remember when my world got turned upside down. Nothing ever seemed right after that, only wrong. For days on end I could only think "Why my world? Why do good people have to suffer so much? I wonder if anyone ever expected something like this." It took a while for me to realize that darkness doesn't differentiate between the good and the bad, it only thinks about one thing- feeding itself. Sometimes I begin to think of the Darkness as one fat child in the market- it won't stop because nothing ever does. It's spoiled itself, and throws a fit until it gets exactly what it wants.
It honestly doesn't matter anymore though, being as I'm gone. Everything is gone- me, Zexion, Axel, the organization… We're all gone, dead, and faded. Every moment I stare into this abyss is like falling asleep, a piece of my memory chipping away. That's all the darkness can take from me now, isn't it? My heart is already gone; my shell of a body, even my sitar is kaput man. Isn't this a sad way to die Zexion? I bet you never imagined this was how it would end. Or maybe you did… You always had a thing about hiding things from me. I guess it was your way of protecting me, even if I wish you hadn't. When you faded on, I was pretty much all alone; it didn't take long for Axel to leave either- wish he hadn't either. Maybe if he hadn't, we would've gotten our hearts back.
Letting my head tilt back, I tried to relieve some of the throbbing in my head- the wetness was already trying to come back to my eyes… "Now that's enough…" I murmured, wiping at the tears trying to push themselves from my eyes. I knew that what felt like hours had probably been days, even weeks or months since I'd arrived in this limbo-like abyss. It wasn't like I was in pain… So why did I keep on crying?
"Maybe you shouldn't hold things in so much Demyx. They're just gonna catch up to you anyway, why hold'm in?" The memory… Remembering when Axel had told me that- a warm feeling bubbled up in my chest as I started laughing- it felt so real, unlike all of the times I had laughed nervously around the other guys. It was funny, Axel had been so encouraging to me right before he left. Maybe he knew what was going to happen. That day. I remember he took me to Twilight Town, the real one- and we went up on that Clock Tower… God I was so scared I thought I was going to die. Closing my eyes again, I placed a hand on my heart just to feel the 'thump- thump- thump' beneath my fingers.
"Do you think maybe we became Nobodies because there was something wrong with us when we still had hearts?" My eyes were on Zexion while he continued studying some data- something Vexen had collected on the field. "Who knows, coulda been anything Demyx." Axel interrupted, giving and receiving a look from Zexion that said to butt-out. "Don't worry about it… Just keep helping, and we'll make it to Kingdom Hearts. One day, we'll all be whole again, Demyx."
Did you really believe in what you said Zexion? Probably not, you were never that sentimental even though you sometimes pretended to be; I knew you better than that. You were just waiting for the right time to strike, to improve upon the original plan… You were always smart like that Zexion.
The sound of water filled my ears, bathwater running, the ocean pushing up against the beach, rain pounding against the roof of a house. I can feel it, even now when I don't have a body to speak of. Can you believe that? No physical body, but I can feel again; I can feel every bad memory I still have, just as well as I can feel the good ones, the bitter-sweet ones. Each one makes me feel a different kind of water, a different motion or place, even temperatures and forces. I guess that sounds a little weird… But it kind of makes me wonder, was this how I was in the first place? Just an entity of the water?
"What do you think, Zexion? Axel…? Anyone?" It was weird to hear my own voice again, after such a long silence. Heaving a heavy sigh, I kept staring up into the small glimmer of light that poked holes into my dark abyss. At least I had that little bit of light to keep me going… All darkness has a light, just like how all light has some darkness. They just don't exist without another side… Though I see it as more of a 'you can see what you want, but you can't have it' sort of thing. I wanted to have my heart again, and I got that part… but I also wanted to be in the light once more. To feel the sunlight on my skin, to be able to enjoy a walk on the beach, feeling the squishy sand between my toes- is that such a crime? No one ever gets to have their cake and eat it, do they? Nope.
My stomach rolled a little when I moved up; it felt like I had been lying in the bottom of a pool and now I was floating up without a choice. What's going on? With my eyes widening I flailed my arms, trying to go back down as the little dots of light got bigger and brighter as I came closer and closer to them- it was getting warmer too! Well… I guess it can't be any worse than what I've already been through, can it? Still, whatever's going on- they've got the wrong man.