Teahouse Comics is the property of Emirain and CC. It's funny how I was just introduced to this comic series two weeks ago and scraped together a fanfic. It's still relatively early in the series, so consider this fanfic AU and take it with a grain of salt.

If you're not familiar with Teahouse, I would recommend viewing the comic, which is available for free, at (teahousecomics(dot)com).

There are not a lot of warnings: violence, OOCness, lemon, dark humor, and Axis being, well…Axis. Enjoy!

Another Day

It was in the posh shopping district of the capital of Ivore that a series of events was first set into motion.

"Ahh!" Princess Evelyn D'Ivore held up the golden chain between two fingers. Along the chain hung five pieces of topaz molded into the shape of hearts. "This is absolutely beautiful! I don't think I've ever seen such a beautiful necklace!"

"We have a matching set of earrings to go with that necklace, your Highness," the jeweler said happily.

"Oh…" Evelyn looked forlorn for a moment. "But I shouldn't be so wasteful with money. But this necklace is so beautiful…"

"I can give you a discount for the necklace," the jeweler offered.

Evelyn looked uncertain for a moment. She suddenly set the necklace down. "Could you possibly put this on hold for me? My birthday is next month, so I'll simply ask my brother to get this for me for my birthday."

"Anything you wish, your Highness." The jeweler picked up the necklace to tuck it away in a box.

Evelyn looked around the jewelry store, nodding idly to her bodyguard standing nearby. "Maybe…maybe I should purchase a gift for my father. Something that will give him a measure of happiness."

"I have just the thing for you." The jeweler motioned to a nearby case. "Amethyst are known to relieve stress when you rub them. Would you be interested in an amethyst charm?"

"Let me see," she said, walking over to it.

Of course, maybe Rhys will have better use for this, Evelyn thought to herself. He's always under stress, but he relieves it at a brothel of all things.

This all took place in the Bella Bee jewelry shop, which catered specifically to women. Next door was the Juno Lounge jewelry shop, which catered to both genders.

"Is there anything you like, Milord?" the jeweler asked, smiling sincerely. "You're welcome to anything in our cases."

Crowned Prince Rhys D'Ivore had been idly window shopping, not looking to purchase anything. Evelyn had wanted to spend the day with him, and he could hardly deny his little sister his company. The invitation had also been extended to his dearly beloved wife, but said invitation was denied.

Which suited Rhys just fine. Both Evelyn and he were uneasy with his bride's presence, and Evelyn had to maintain incredible self-control to not lose her anger around her.

But something had Rhys's attention that moment. The minute it caught his eye, he hadn't been able to look away.

Inside of the display case was a pair of earrings. They were thick earrings, and he could tell by the way they shined that they were Sterling silver. Though they were a pair, both earrings had a different gemstone in the middle. One was a dark sapphire, and the other was a bright ruby.

"Ah." The jeweler saw what Rhys was looking at, and took the earrings out of the case. "A present for your sister, your Majesty? Or your wife, perhaps?"

Rhys tried not to smile. These earrings would never suit Evelyn or his wife. They were plain by their standards, and they also had a degree of masculinity to them.

But…he knew of one person the earrings would suit. "How much are they?" he asked, his gaze still on the jewelry.

"The tag price is $3,000," the jeweler said. "But for you, I will grant a discount."

Should he get them? He didn't want to spend money wastefully, but the temptation was strong. But…he'd never gotten such a gift before. Especially when the potential recipient was a man, and said man would surely reject the gift if offered by Rhys.

Finally, he sighed. It's worth a shot. I might have buyer's remorse later, but I think I'll regret it more if I allow someone else to buy them.

"I'll take them," he said finally, looking up at the jeweler. "But I will pay full-price for them."

"Your Majesty, that's not nec—"

"Kind sir," Rhys interjected, smiling slightly. "Do not make exception for me. I will pay full price."

The jeweler stammered for a moment before bowing slightly. "I thank you, Milord. Shall I gift-wrap this for you?"

"Certainly," Rhys said, tucking his hands into his coat pocket. "Some dark blue wrapping paper, please."

"Of course. I won't charge you for the gift-wrap. Consider this a courtesy."

Rhys was about to argue the point, but he saw the sincere look in the jeweler's face. "As you wish." He chuckled to himself as the jeweler set about wrapping up the earrings. I just spent $3,000 on a gift for a prostitute. Sometimes, I really do surprise myself.

A few minutes later, Rhys left the jewelry shop, tucking the small gift-wrapped box into his coat pocket. Evelyn rushed over to him. "Rhys! I got Father an amethyst charm!" she held up the box in question. "What did you get?"

Rhys blinked at her. "What makes you think I bought anything?" he teased.

"I saw you getting something gift-wrapped through the window!" Evelyn said. "So tell me what you got!"

Rhys smiled and pressed a finger against his mouth. "It's a secret, Evie."

"Ohhh, you're always so secretive!" Evelyn huffed in frustration. "Why won't you ever tell me anything?"

"I'm allowed my privacy, aren't I Evie?" Rhys slid his arm through hers. "Don't distress yourself over something so minor."

Evelyn sighed, but allowed Rhys to guide her along the sidewalk. "I have a feeling this gift isn't for my incredible sister-in-law, so you made an expensive purchase for some unknown person."

"Maybe it's for myself," Rhys said thoughtfully.

"You don't wear jewelry, Rhys!"

"Why don't we get some lunch?" Rhys offered, blatantly changing the subject. "My treat, of course."

Evelyn's face lit up once more. "Let's choose a restaurant that serves ice cream! It's been too long since I've had ice cream!"

"…All right." Rhys knew it paid to pamper his little sister, even if it was to help her keep out of his business. He idly pressed a hand over the box in his pocket as Evelyn dragged him along.

Well, I hope he likes them in any case, he thought.

At that time, in a seedier section of Ivore's capital, a certain someone was also out shopping.

Albeit, bored out of his mind.

"Claret, are we done yet?" Axis complained loudly, dragging his feet as he followed the smaller green-haired woman ahead of him. "We've just gone to five clothing boutiques!"

It didn't help matters that he was carrying bags from all five clothing boutiques!

"Axis, it's my day off and I need a new wardrobe!" Claret said over her shoulder. "Well, rather, Atros is encouraging me to get new clothes to appease customers. I want to make sure I look the absolute best."

"If your breasts are visible, then you're looking your best," Axis said.

"AXIS!" Claret turned around and smacked him on the shoulder. "We're out in public! Use a little…uh…" she looked upwards thoughtfully. "What's that word when you need to be subtle?"

"Discretion," Axis said, rubbing at his shoulder. "And if you're the one on the shopping trip, why the hell did I have to come with you?"

"I don't want to be hassled. Especially if I run into clients who recognize me." Claret batted her eyelashes and dipped low so that Axis got a full-view of her cleavage. "Just one more shop, please? Then we can go home."

Axis couldn't say no to her, especially when he could look down her dress so easily. "O-One more store should be fine."

"Yay!" Claret gave him a peck on the cheek and turned back around. "Then let's go to that store!"

Axis grunted in frustration as he trudged along. "I'm a moron…"

That familiar twinge of pain came from his left ear again. "Claret, hang on a second." He set down the bags he held in his left hand, and nurse the upper part of his ear. Specifically where two earrings hung.

Claret came over to him, watching him worriedly. "Are you okay, Axis? Do you have an ear infection?"

"I'm not infected!" he said sharply. "These two earrings are irritating my ear, is all!"

Claret looked at these earrings for a long moment before she sighed. "They're old earrings after all. They're completely unpolished. Maybe you ought to get new ones?"

"I have better things to spend my money on," Axis said, dropping his hand to pick up the bags.

"At least take them out," Claret said. "They're irritating your ear and it could really cause an infection."

Axis scoffed. "If I take them out I'll have gaping holes in my cartilage. No chick is gonna fuck a guy with holes in his head, Claret."

"How about Sir Rhys—" Claret began.

"SHUT UP!" Axis snapped. "Why are we just standing around talking like this? Let's get the boutique so we can get the fuck out of here!"

Claret stared after Axis as he trudged away. Instead of being offended, she burst out laughing. "You're so transparent, Axis," she said to herself.

Fifteen minutes later, Axis was grumbling to himself while he stood outside of the boutique waiting for Claret. Several bags surrounded him on the ground. "Stupid shopping trip," he grunted, staring up at the clear sky. "Got better things to do with my day off…"

Well…not really. He would end up being fucking bored and cursing everyone out and nagging Claret to bang him. Either way, it wouldn't be good.

It was then that Axis noticed something across the street. It was a carriage, but not just any carriage. It was bright red and looked incredibly fancy. It looked completely out of place in such a neighborhood. If some noble prick trying to find a hooker or something? he wondered. He snorted. He should just go to the Teahouse, the pussy's fine there. Not that I would know or anything…he gritted his teeth.

Someone emerged from the shop in front of the carriage. It was a woman dressed in black. Axis did a double-take when he saw her hair. It was black, curly, and seemed to stand up straight on her head! It was almost scary to look at!

Then he looked lower, and saw her massive tits springing out from the top of her dress. His jaw dropped when he saw those beautiful peaks, and his mouth watered. Wow. If SHE came to the Teahouse, I would definitely fuck her for FREE! Anything to touch those babies!

A dark-haired man with glasses emerged from the shop behind the beautiful woman. He said something quietly to her. She abruptly spun around and kissed him full on the mouth.

Axis blinked very slowly as the woman and man publically made out across the street. The man thrusted the woman up against the carriage, and she seemed to sizzle underneath him. She was quivering and burying her hands into his hair.

Axis scoffed, and looked away. Some people have no shame. And I'm a whore thinking that!


Axis jumped when Claret came out of the shop, hugging a new bag to her chest. "Are you done now?" he snapped irritably.

She positively smiled at him. "I'm done. Let me buy you some new earrings as a 'thank you' for coming here with me!"

"No, thank you." Axis grinned mischievously as he picked up the bags once more. "How about you give me a freebie and we'll call it even!"

"Axis!" Claret smacked him again. "Atros wouldn't approve of such behavior!"

That doesn't stop Atros, does it? Axis rolled his eyes. "How about you just tell Lord Douche Bag the next time he comes and sees us how amazing of a lover I am?"

"Lord Douche Bag?" Claret echoed. She made a face. "You're not talking about Sir Rhys, are you?"

"What difference does it make!" Axis snapped. "Just gloat to him about me and we'll call it even!"

Claret laughed and tried to hide a smile. "But you've been with him more than I have. I think Sir Rhys might be a bigger expert on what—"

"LA LA LA—I CAN'T HEAR YOU—LA LA LA!" Axis stormed down the sidewalk.

Claret only laughed harder and skipped after him. Axis seems so smitten with Sir Rhys! Seeing him make fun of Rory over his relationship with Lord Reed, but then act like he does with Sir Rhys is so funny!

Even though their relationship was simply as client and prostitute. But Claret left that thought alone.

As Axis stormed down the sidewalk, he felt a whoosh of air pass him. The red carriage, no doubt meant for the hot chick and her…beau, was speeding up the street. He'd wanted to oogle at the woman's breasts for a little while longer, but he knew better than to do that with the woman's lover standing right there.

Ah well.

"Father, look." Evelyn knelt at the King's beside, holding the amethyst charm between her fingers. "It's an amethyst. The oldest medicinal tool in the world. When you rub this, it will relieve you of all your stress."

The sickly king took the charm from his youngest child. His fingers trembled as he weakly rubbed the amethyst, but a rumble of laughter came from his throat. "I feel…better already."

Rhys's smile faltered as he came beside Evelyn to look at his father. "I got you some of your favorite cologne. Remember how you said it soothes you?" he placed the expensive bottle at the King's bedside. "I hope it pleases you."

"…Of course it would." The King looked at Rhys with tired blue eyes. "Why wouldn't it please me?"

Rhys coughed very discreetly, but not because he was embarrassed. He could feel his emotions getting the better of him, and he didn't want to get upset in front of his father. "Thank you, Father."

"Father." A new figure came on the other side of the King's bed. Both Rhys and Evelyn stiffened as Rhys's wife Gloria clutched the king's limp hand between her own. "My King, I have brought you a blanket sewn from yellow silk. I hope it is to your liking." Said blanket was gently placed at the foot of the bed.

The King wheezed out a quiet laugh. "You have excellent taste…my dear."

"Father," Rhys interjected. "We're putting too much strain on you. Allow us to leave you to rest."

The King only smiled at his son. "You have a beautiful bride, my son."

"I know, Father."

"And I know…you both will rule my country honorably."

Rhys glanced at Gloria. He didn't miss the glint in her otherwise cold eyes. "I am most honored, your Highness," she said. She stood up briskly and curtseyed. "I shall allow you your rest."

Evelyn leaned over and kissed the king on his cheek. "I love you, Father."

"I love you, too."

Rhys wanted to hug and kiss his father dearly, but he held himself in check. He knew he needed to act like a man, especially in the presence of his wife and the servants. He reached over and grasped the king's hand. "You will always be well cared for, Father." He kissed his father's knuckles. "I will see to it personally."

Everyone departed soon afterwards so the King could have his rest. Evelyn stopped short in the hallway and sighed sadly. Rhys only vaguely noticed Gloria continuing down the hall when he came to his sister's side and hugged her. "It'll be all right," he soothed, stroking her hair. "Our father is being very well taken care of."

"I just wish he wasn't sick at all," Evelyn said mournfully, burying her face into Rhys's chest.

"Evie." Rhys pushed her back so she looked at him. "There's a time for everyone, okay? Father is well prepared for it. We need to be prepared for it as well."

"I know." Evelyn dabbed at her eyes with her fingers. Rhys withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe at her eyes. "It's just so hard, Rhys…"

"I know." He kissed her on the forehead and forced a smile. "Why don't you go lie down, or play some music to soothe yourself? You're incredibly stressed right now, Evie."

Evelyn snorted. "I'm surprised you're not recommending me that brothel."

"It would help you," Rhys teased. "But you can do what you wish to ease the stress. I do what I must to ease my own."

"Ah…" Evelyn leaned in close to Rhys. "Now that you're married though, are you going to continue to go back there? I-I mean, Gloria isn't a pleasant person, but she is your wife…"

"Evie." Rhys patted her on the shoulder. "I'm going to be fine. Don't worry about me."

The siblings departed after they left the hallways leading the King's bedroom. Now alone, Rhys glanced over his shoulder. "Zephyr."

"Yes, your Highness?" his personal bodyguard immediately came to attention.

"I was thinking about going out tonight, but I'm feeling exhausted. But please be on alert in case I change my mind."

"Yessir." Zephyr's answer came automatically.

Rhys headed towards his room. He saw that his bedroom door was ajar before Zephyr grabbed him warningly by the arm. "It's okay," he told his bodyguard. "I already have a feeling about who it is."

"I will look first," Zephyr insisted. Rhys sighed in irritation as his bodyguard headed towards Rhys's quarters, fingering the sword on his belt. He peered inside briefly, and looked at Rhys over his shoulder. "It is your wife, my Prince."

"As I suspected." Rhys pushed open the door and eyed the black-haired woman sitting at his vanity. "My door is always open to you, my love, but please take heed to close the door behind yourself."

Gloria didn't answer him for a long moment. She was staring at a small piece of paper in her hand. Rhys looked down at the desk and saw the Juno Longue gift-wrap carefully unfolded, and the box open, revealing the earrings he'd purchased. He took a deep breath, trying to hide his irritation. "Milady—"

"$3,000 for a simple pair of earrings?" Gloria stated. Rhys realized she was holding the receipt. She looked at Rhys over her shoulder. "Who are these for?"

Rhys chuckled lightly as he took off his coat. "Does it matter to you, Milady?"

"Your ears are not pierced, so this isn't for yourself," Gloria stated. "And this isn't a gift for Evelyn. I know she buys her jewelry from Bella Bee and not Juno Lounge. And these earrings do not match the jewelry I wear." She arched an eyebrow at Rhys. "Is this for your mistress, my Prince?"

Rhys almost snorted at the question. "I faintly recall you stating you didn't care who I bedded, Gloria."

"I don't," Gloria said coldly. "And I recall warning you to be discreet."

"How have I not been discreet?"

"This is a $3,000 pair of earrings," Gloria said sharply, pointing into the box. "You're not a big spender, Rhys, so everyone's going to be talking about this. And what do you think people will say when neither Evelyn nor I is out wearing these? These chunky tacky earrings that are grossly overpriced?" she glared at Rhys then. "The next time you want to buy gifts for your little whore, don't do it so blatantly for everyone to see!"

Rhys's mouth formed a thin line as he unbuttoned his shirt. He finally forced a smile as he looked at Gloria. "What did you do today?"

Gloria stiffened, and Rhys smiled more genuinely. "You see, it's not a pleasant question, hmm? Why don't you produce to me the receipts for your purchases for today? Why don't I lecture you about the lovers you keep?"

"I have no lovers!" Gloria shot back.

Rhys walked over and took her hand. He kissed her on her knuckles, but he gave her a cold look. "You are a terrible liar, my dearest. Don't ask unnecessary questions about me, and I promise to stay out of your affairs. Do we have a deal?"

Gloria jerked her hand out of his. "Don't embarrass me," she hissed at him. "It's as your father put it; we rule this land once he passes. I'm not going to live the rest of my life known as a 'doormat Queen'. You will be respectful and discreet, my Prince. Do you understand me?"

Rhys stared at her for a long moment. He suddenly cupped her chin in his hand. "They talk, of course," he said, his tone turning sensual. "They want the King to see a grandchild before he dies. Shall we produce one now, my love?"

It was absolutely worth it to see the shock in her cold, emotionless eyes. But it was brief. Gloria swatted his hand away. "I have a headache." She stormed towards his bedroom door but paused to look over his shoulder. "Remember my other warning, my Prince. I will make your life, and your whore's life, a living hell if either of you cross me."

I would certainly LOVE to see you give him hell. Rhys kept these words to himself and held onto his smile. "Have a pleasant evening, my wife."

Gloria stormed from the room. Rhys dropped his smile and sighed. "Zephyr."

"Yes, Milord?" the blonde-haired bodyguard looked a little miffed. Rhys knew it had to anger the other man to see his charge be disrespected like that by his wife, and he couldn't do anything about it.

"I've decided not to go out tonight." Rhys took a seat at his vanity. He stared into the box which held the earrings for a moment before closing it. "I'm definitely going out tomorrow though, just not tonight." He began to carefully rewrap the gift. "Have you heard from Reed?"

"He sent a message when we returned to the castle. He, too, is also going out tomorrow and extended an invitation to you. Should I tell him you're available?"

"Absolutely," Rhys said. He smiled sincerely for the first time since he entered his bedroom. "We both have the same destination, after all…"