B & E – A Short Story

He was a little surprised and a whole lot intrigued when he got her call. Sweet little Berry calling him for help in doing something mischievous? Hell yeah, he was totally in.

He knew Rachel Berry could be vengeful and spiteful. Sunshine Corazon could tell ya that. But breaking the law? Totally didn't have her pegged for that. And the fact that this behavior completely makes him even more hot for her? It's so wrong that it's totally fucking right.

She started second guessing her decision to include him as soon as he showed up at her house, spouting something about him going back to juvie if they got caught and she couldn't live with herself if that were to happen. He shrugged it off, telling her that helping her become a delinquent would be worth it. When she walked out of her closet wearing a dangerously tiny black skirt and a tight black shirt, he knew he was right. This alone was totally worth it. Besides, he sure as hell wasn't going to let her do this by herself. She needed backup in the form of him.

She goes over her plan with him, complete with poster boards covered with color coded figures and animations. She tells him it will take her 329 steps to get from the schools back entrance to Coach Sylvester's office. How the fuck (or why the fuck) she knows this he doesn't know. She makes a point to note that it will likely take him half of that since he is so much taller than her. And as crazy as all of this is, he thinks it's fucking hot that when Rachel Berry's into something, she's one hundred percent, I'll give everything I have for it IN. This girl never skimps on anything. And it's hot.

They're out the door as she yells "Let's do this" and his mind momentarily wonders back to that day on the football field when this diminutive diva put herself on the line for McKinley's football team. He knew it was all her idea, it had Berry written all over it. He was scared shitless for her that night cause she's just so fucking tiny and looked like she was drowning in that uniform. But more than that, he was impressed and maybe a little bit (whole lot) turned on. He didn't tell her that, of course, because she was still hung up on Finn and Lauren would have totally kicked his ass. But he was and he still is.

He's not real sure why she insisted that they climb over the schools back fence when they could have walked right up to the front door but he's not going to complain at all because this way he is having to hoist her over the top, giving him a damn near perfect view of her red panties under her skirt. At this point, he should probably be thinking who the fuck wears a skirt to break into a school but instead he is thinking how the fuck did he get so lucky that it was his ass that she called to help? But he kinda already knows the answer to that and it's not because everybody knows about his criminal behavior past. It's because he's pretty much the only friend she has now that she broke up with Finn and (again) alienated herself from the other Gleeks. Except for Kurt but he doesn't count because they'd still be back at her house picking out the perfect background music for their heist and he totally would not be down for climbing over fences and getting mud on his Prada shoes (because like her, he's pretty sure Kurt would not dress appropriately for this job).

She grabs his hand once he's over the fence and they race across the back lawn of the school, him virtually pulling her along as he takes one stride to her two. When they make it to the back entrance, he starts to pick the lock but is stopped when she lays her gloved hand on his. She doesn't have to say anything for him to know that she is again questioning whether he should be doing this with her but he just smirks. "It's all good."

She slips inside first and disengages the alarm on the wall. He doesn't know how the fuck she knows the code but he figures this girl has ways of doing things that he hasn't even considered. He's learning that she's really good like that. Really fucking good like that.

As they make their way to Couch Sylvester's office, he imagines she's counting the steps in her head. She'll probably be pissed if she's off by a few and will make them start over again until the right amount of steps is taken. She must be right though because when they get to the door, she just looks at him and holds her hand out. The fuck? Berry wants to pick the lock? Oh hell yeah. This girl is totally fucking crazy hot.

She has the door open in less than ten seconds and he's way too impressed by that. Has she been practicing this shit? Like watching YouTube videos and practicing with a lock in her bedroom? He wonders how long this plan of hers has been in the works. Probably long enough for her to make sure it will go off without a hitch because she is detailed and precise like that. It's another part of the reason he was so game to do this with her. Cause had it been anyone else, the likelihood of them getting caught would be a hell of a lot greater. This girl . . . she doesn't fail.

When they are in the office, she makes a beeline for their target . . . . Coach Sylvester's megaphone. It's a petty crime, he knows, breaking and entering to steal a megaphone, but it's one of huge importance to her. Rachel has become McKinley enemy number one this year for Sylvester. Her primary means of harassment? Standing in the hallway day after day, class after class, waiting on Rachel to walk by so she can yell at her through that megaphone. Most of the time Rachel just ignores her, taking the insults like a pro. He knows she's fairly used to the constant insults she's taken over the past few years from, well, everyone. But every day she's showed up to Glee with a little less of her Berry spunk and nursing a painful headache. So this little delinquent act is Rachel's way of revenge. Even though she already knows that Figgins will just buy Sue a new one and she'll be harassing Rachel even more by the end of the week. She actually seems ok with that because tonight will be a total win for her. She's finally not taking the insults lying down.

Twenty minutes later, they are back at her house, laughing triumphantly as she tosses the megaphone in the back of her closet. She rambles for a few minutes about how perfect the plan was and how exhilarating it felt doing it. When she stops pacing, she turns to him. "Thank you, Noah. I realize that I asked a great deal of you tonight, considering the risks you were taking, and I probably owe you a great deal more than just a thank you."

He toys with that statement a little longer than he should, his mind instantly going to ways she could thank him, most of them involving her lips on various parts of his body. Nothing he hasn't thought of (many times) before. Over the past few months, she's crept into his thoughts more and more every day to the point where he's figuring out any and every way he can get more time with her. Whether it be convincing her to help him babysit his little sister or goading her into a furious game of badminton at the park down from her house. All of those activities, of course, very normal and legal.

"It's ok, Rach." He finally breaks himself away from the images of debauchery parading through his mind. "I kinda enjoyed seeing this side of you. Never knew my sweet and innocent Berry had a streak of badass in her."

"I may appear harmless, but I assure you I am completely badass." Her face lights up with those words, like literally fucking glowing. He thinks she looks like an angel or something. Well maybe a fallen one considering the tiny act of illegal activity they just did. "I think that given the right circumstances, I am completely comfortable with committing a crime. I believe that Coach Sylvester deserved it so the act warranted the action."

He laughs at his little badass, completely loving the look of pure bliss on her face. He'll help her do any illegal act she wants if she keeps that look on her face cause it's totally fucking beautiful and it's been missing for a while. All because of Finn and Sylvester and pretty much everyone else at that school who adopted Rachel as their doormat.

That thought pulls the smile from his face. He takes a seat at her desk and picks up a picture of the two of them that Kurt took a couple weeks before. He remembers the day well because Kurt had called him in as reinforcement for a distraught Rachel after she suffered through a day of megaphone harassment by Coach Sylvester, two slushy attacks by Azimio, a verbal (Spanish) beatdown by Santana and a sickening duet of Save the Best for Last by Finn and Quinn.

He stopped by the store to buy soy ice cream for her on the way and she smiled so big when he gave it to her that he felt like his heart was going to explode. The thought that he literally fucking made her day was awesome. The three of them sat there that night, passing the ice cream (which he surprisingly liked) back and forth until it, and Rachel's tears, were all gone. When he gave Kurt a ride home later that night, he thanked him for coming and told him that Rachel needed someone like him in her life. Someone that would always have her back, regardless of what that would mean for him. Kurt was used to being the social outcast like Rachel but Puck putting his reputation on the line for her was chivalrous. He looked at him then and told him that he would never find anyone who believed in him as much as she did. It's special, he had said and then ended with him telling Puck that he had seen the way he looked at her. He sang, literally fucking sang, something about Tony and Maria from West Side Story but he didn't understand that shit at all. What he did understand was what Kurt was getting at. And he's thought about that every day since.

"Is something wrong, Noah?" He jumps slightly as her voice breaks through his thoughts and he finds her staring at him with eyes full of concern. He wants the bliss back. Like right fucking now.

"No, nothing at all. Actually, everything is pretty much the most right its ever been." She smiles a confused smile and he knows she doesn't have any idea what he's really talking about. But she's smiling again and that's a start.

"Rach," he says as she starts to turn away from him. She immediately turns back around. "I think maybe we need to celebrate tonight's little act of badassness. You free on Friday?"

The glow slowly returns to her face and she nods slowly. "I think I am."

"It's a date then." He winks at her, plants a kiss on her forehead and then heads for the door. He's pretty sure he might just have a look of bliss on his face right about now and it feels fucking fantastic. Cause tonight may have been the most ferociously badass night he's ever had. Watching Rachel enact some vengeance on Sylvester and then agree to be his girl (which she basically did) was utterly awesome and better than any high he's ever been on.

When Coach Sylvester comes stomping down the hallway the next day, lashing out at anyone in her sight and spewing threats of payback, he just slips his hand into Rachel's and heads off down the hallway, loving the little badass smile she's wearing. Thank fucking God she called him last night because he doesn't want anyone else seeing that smile. Like ever. Cause his girl is full of surprises and her awesome and badass is all his now.