Always on my Mind

Disclaimer: Characters from Peacemaker Kurogane by Nanae Chrono.

This is somewhat different/beyond from the main storyline and it is more of a post PMK kind of story. I actually wrote this as a sequel to my other fic "Pushing him away" so maybe it would be better if you read that first.

Chapter One

The crickets buzzed on like a metronome as the sun scotched relentlessly upon the quarters. The heat had gotten to them and everyone lost their drive to move a muscle, let alone hone their skills.

It must be the hottest summer in the past few years, thought the stoic man as he contained his discomfort within, not allowing his subordinates to spot the slightest weakness in him. His pride didn't let him. At that, he noticed that a plate of mochi had been left just outside the slightly opened paper doors. It was times like this he had wished that the younger, lively man was around. He felt his heart clench as he recalled.

It had been a year since the talented swordfighter had collapsed upon flooding the floor with blood. It didn't take long before the entire company found out that he had contracted tuberculosis. Ever since that episode, he hadn't seen much of Okita. Well, that's to be expected as you would expect the sick to stay in and rest.

Hijikata had also noticed a change in the previously bubbly and, to his horror at times, overbearingly noisy prodigy. He no longer spoke that much. It could be due to the fact that it would be a burden on his lungs. Of course, his silent smile now is still breath-taking, and it is a lot kinder to my ears and sanity this way, but... Despite knowing this very well, this Vice-commander couldn't help but long to hear his voice and feel his presence.

Ah, my favourite mochi... He could have at least called out to me when he left it there. Lately, even when he came over to leave little treats, Okita no longer came in to bother Hijikata anymore. It should have been a good thing if it hadn't left him feeling so empty. Hijikata had often found comfort in smacking the younger man's head and scolding him for disturbing his work or bugging him to go out when they had lots of training to do. It had long integrated into his daily routine.

Trying to stop himself from thinking about such useless stuff, HIjikata busied himself with the endless reports to write with the sweltering heat as his only company. Before he knew it, he had given in to the drone of summer and slipped into the other realm of reality.

When he had next opened his eyes, it was already dark. Still groggy from the nap but still aware of his surroundings, he was aware that there was someone else in his room. A sweet, familiar scent, which he could recognise from anywhere, filled the room. A pair of slender arms wrapped around his waist and a chin gently rest on his shoulders from behind.

"Hey, you came... I was just thinking abo-" Hijikata started as he turned slightly to face the owner of the scent, but felt embarrassed to confess his loneliness. However, he didn't need to complete his sentence for the other to understand. Hijikata saw a smile forming on his face at the corner of his eye. His supple lips curving upwards ever so gently. This set of lips then lightly met his own. When their lips had parted, Hijikata gave a sigh and shifted such that the other was now sitting upon his lap. Hijikata gazed into his eyes intensely. Taking a breath, he said softly.

"I've missed you..."

He was replied with yet another soft smile and was drawn into a tight embrace, as if to say Yeah, me too...

It had been like this since the beginning. They had taken too long to acknowledge each other feelings. No. He had taken too long to acknowledge his feelings. He had taken the younger man's enthusiasm and initiative for granted. Taken his confessions as a joke and ignored his advances. He indulged in the other's attention and patience for many years since but now, there was no time to lose. He couldn't let things end just like that without letting the other know that he, too, felt this intense longing.

That said, they hadn't advanced much from there in terms of physical interaction. He had been mindful of Okita's weak body and tried not to do anything that would aggravate his situation any further. Just being locked in embrace was good enough. Or so he would like to think. But Hijikata knew, that as much as he wouldn't make any advances, he wouldn't be able to resist if Okita made the move. Damn! That body of his just overflows with pheromones!

And that he did. Hijikata held his breath as the shorter man got up from his lap and knelt, sniffing his neck and progressed down to his collarbone, sneaking a few kisses here and there. Shit, I won't be able to hold back if he goes any further...

But as hands slipped under his yukata, all logic and reasoning was lost. Within seconds, Hijikata was looming above the small, frail body with a starving, wild intent that was reflected in his eyes. Okita grinned slyly as if he had predicted this all along. It didn't take long for limbs to tangle and tongues to lock. It was no longer possible to tell apart the two bodies. Passion mixed with lust, sweat mixed with bodily fluids. Hijikata felt that this could only be a dream. In fact, he was amazed at all that among all that, he could even think. Yet, beyond that pleasure and satisfaction, Hijikata's heart was pained. knowing that this wouldn't last, couldn't last, was eating him inside.

God, I never want to let him go... Please don't take him away from me...

Sorry for the very raw language and lack of careful planning as this was rushed out. I have a test tomorrow! What the hell am I doing here writing a fic?

Anyway, thanks for reading! Will be getting the second chapter out soon.