Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
Their first night together was on a Saturday. They had been dating for a long time before that, but Ludwig was a gentleman. He waited until Feliciano was ready. And when he was, he was slow and gentle. He caressed the tanned skin as softly as he could, his lips coaxing small noises from the younger man.
He made every second seem like an hour. He pleasured Feliciano long into the night, trying to show his love that he could not express vocally. When they were both exhausted, they collapsed, panting and sweating all over each other, welcoming the peace of sleep.
But when Ludwig woke up the next morning, he was alone in Feliciano's bed. He blinked away sleep and sat up, looking for his boyfriend. The Italian was standing in front of a full length mirror in his closet, humming softly to himself while his nimble fingers worked at the tie dangling around his neck.
Ludwig blinked, confused. Feliciano was wearing a suit, minus the jacket. Black and white. It looked good on him, but... "Feli?"
The Italian turned to him and smiled. "Good morning. I'm sorry, but I have to leave for a bit. I'll be back in an hour or so..." He walked to the bed and crawled up to Ludwig, kissing him lightly. When he pulled away, he had that adorable smile on his face. The one Ludwig always melted over.
The German smiled and pet his hair slowly before pulling him in for a deeper kiss. When they pulled away, Ludwig sat back and stretched. "I'll be here."
Feliciano stayed in bed a moment longer, noticing how the German's normally strict hair was all over the place. One lock was hanging in front of his forehead... he liked it. He smiled and got out of bed, straightening himself up. "Last night was wonderful, Ludwig." He smiled and left with a quiet, "Ciao!"
Ludwig stared at the door, a small smile on his face as he remembered every detail. Every noise Feliciano made. Every movement. Every whisper. He loved the little Italian very much. From the way he would burst into Ludwig's house and start making pasta to the way he would stare at the German when he thought he wasn't looking.
He loved Feliciano's laugh and the way his face would light up when he was happy. He even loved the boy's tears, because even though it meant his Feliciano was upset, it meant he would come to Ludwig for comfort. It meant Ludwig would be allowed to hold the boy until his tears ceased. And no one else had that privilege.
Ludwig sighed and slowly got out of bed. He knew he loved Feliciano. But he would never admit anything out loud. It was too embarrassing. No one else needed to know that except himself and Feliciano. And he hadn't even told Feliciano yet...
He didn't have work that Sunday, so he just put on a pair of jeans before heading downstairs. He was comfortable with the Italian. And now that they had given everything to each other last night, he didn't mind walking around shirtless. Or with his hair a mess.
He sighed and started cooking. He figured he could make food for his boyfriend for once. Or at least try.
Slowly, as his sleep clouded brain began to wake up, he began to realize how out of character Feliciano had been that morning. The boy had gotten up before Ludwig and had dressed sharply without being asked. He frowned as he sat down to eat his own food, thinking. Where had he been going?
Almost on cue, the Italian walked into the house. Had it really been an hour already? He looked lively and cheerful, as always. He bounced into the kitchen, loosening his tie and kissing Ludwig's cheek before sitting down. "You cooked? How exciting!" He took a bite and paused, forcing a smile. He swallowed and nodded, laughing weakly.
"It's... great..." He played with his food, trying to be polite. But Ludwig wasn't bothered.
"Feli, where did you go this morning?" Ludwig sat at military precision, looking his boyfriend over critically.
Feliciano looked up, surprised, before saying, "Church, of course." He smiled again, sitting up in his chair. "I go every Sunday."
Ludwig looked surprised, blinking rapidly. He had never thought about that. He had never thought to ask the Italian if he was religious. "And... you're... Christian?"
"Si. Catholic." Feliciano's face fell and he looked slightly worried. He reached forward hesitantly, putting a hand on Ludwig's. "That... is that alright?"
Ludwig snapped himself out of it to squeeze Feli's hand softly. "Of course. I apologize, I was only surprised." Though, didn't catholics hate homosexuals? He was always listening to the radio and heard occasional snippets of angry priests preaching abstinence and how all gay men and women would burn in hell.
But Feliciano's gentle smile and warm chatter snapped him out of his thoughts. He shook his head and ate quietly, listening to his boyfriend babble about everything and nothing.
Ludwig didn't have time to think about his boyfriend and religion for the rest of the week. Work was hectic and Feliciano was always willing to help him relax, in whatever way Ludwig wished. The German was content in the knowledge that he could come home to a happy Italian cleaning or cooking or sleeping... It cheered him.
He came home on Friday, tense but relieved. "Feli, I'm home." But he didn't receive an answer. He just assumed Feliciano was sleeping so he shrugged it off. He climbed the stairs slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. He could definitely use one of the Italian's famous massages right about now.
He pushed his door open, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake his sleeping boyfriend. But when he entered, he was met with a very different sight. Feliciano was kneeling at the edge of the bed, his eyes closed, his lips moving silently, a rosary clenched in both of his hands.
Ludwig froze, staring in surprise. His boyfriend looked saintly... perfect. He stood up a bit straighter, taking in the Italian's beauty. It seemed like hours before he heard a quiet, "Amen," and Feliciano stood.
When he turned around and noticed Ludwig, he froze, fingers still holding the rosary. He stared at the German, unsure of what he should do. He had tried so hard to keep his Catholicism private. He didn't want to intimidate his boyfriend with it...
Ludwig blinked and set his briefcase down, pulling his tie off. "Do you do this every day?" He kept his voice neutral. He really didn't mind that Feliciano was religious, he just wished he wouldn't hide these things from him.
The Italian just nodded slowly, looking like a little boy who just got caught with cookie crumbs in his sweater. He was scared. He didn't want Ludwig to leave him.
When the German noticed his boyfriend's fear, he sighed softly and walked to him. He laid a gentle kiss on his forehead, pulling him in close. "Don't look so frightened... I was only curious."
He felt the body become limp with relief as Feliciano hugged him back. "Lo siento..." He closed his eyes, snuggling close to Ludwig with a smile.
After a minute he pulled away and pushed the German onto the bed. "You are so tense." He shook his head and pushed Ludwig onto his stomach before crawling on top of him to knead and soothe the aching muscles.
Ludwig couldn't stop the small groan that escaped him, allowing his eyes to flutter closed. Feliciano was always so good to him. When he felt the feather light kisses on the back of his neck he just smiled and turned over to kiss his boyfriend passionately, knowing exactly what he wanted.
A pattern started. They would make love and live together all week, enjoying the other's company. And when Ludwig woke up Sunday morning, he would watch Feliciano get ready and leave for church. Months passed like this, and still, Ludwig's curiosity grew.
Finally, he just decided to accompany the Italian to church. He wanted to understand. When he woke up alone that Sunday, he jumped up and dressed nicely, combing his hair back. He walked down the street slowly, not really knowing where he was going.
He eventually just followed the sound of church bells, assuming that there weren't a lot of churches in this little town... He found the towering and slightly intimidating building hidden between a park and the town hall.
He gulped and walked in slowly. He had never been to church before. He had no idea what to do. So he sat in the last pew very quietly, doing his best not to interrupt anyone. He slowly realized the draw of church. This place was very calming... soothing. The colorful windows seemed to draw your attention with a gentle subtleness.
The priest's voice became background music, lulling you into a hypnotic state of peace. The tall ceiling and wooden pews gave an open and warm feel. It reminded Ludwig of home...
His eyes gently looked over the crowd until he spotted the tell tale curl near the front. Now that he had located Feli, he just sat back and listened to the priest and his choir. He stood when everyone else stood, knelt when everyone else knelt, and did his best to seem inconspicuous.
He looked for Feli again when everyone stood up to leave the church. He stayed still, knowing the Italian would eventually filter passed. But when he spotted the curl, it wasn't bouncing towards the exit. Instead, it was heading towards a large wooden box.
Ludwig frowned. He had no idea what it was. It was beautiful, though. Intricate carvings of angels and crucifixes ran up and down the sleek wood. He watched his boyfriend duck behind a curtain and kneel.
Curiosity got the better of him again and he stood slowly, walking towards the large wooden box. He paused right outside, listening to the quiet whispers from inside.
"...It has been one week since my last confession, father."
"Very good, my child. What are your sins?"
"I have bedded again with a man, father. And... I've fallen in love with him." Ludwig felt his blood run cold. Why did he-
"My child, this is no sin, as I have tol-"
"Father, please. Just... tell me my penance." Penance? He wanted to be punished for loving Ludwig? He heard the priest sigh softly.
"Say the rosary twice before you sleep tonight. May the father, son, and holy spirit bless you, my child." Ludwig was shaking in quiet anger at this point. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited patiently for his boyfriend to exit the confessional.
Feli pulled the curtain back, looking down. When he looked up to walk out of the church, he spotted his very angry German boyfriend. He froze, his eyes going wide in fear. He gulped. "Ludwig?"
But Ludwig just turned and walked out of the church, his strides long and firm. He knew that Feliciano would follow. Which he was, very closely. He was practically running to keep up, his mind racing with worry. "Ludwig?"
The German ignored him, continuing his furious pace back to his home. He threw the door open with little ceremony, making his way upstairs. He calmly took his suit jacket off and hung it in his closet, his mind reeling in anger.
Feliciano stood in the doorway, nervous and scared. He had never seen Ludwig so angry before... "Ludwig?"
Ludwig turned around, his stern and angry glare burning a hole into Feliciano's skull. The Italian flinched back, looking away quickly. The silence between them grew larger and larger, Ludwig's anger only simmering and Feliciano's fear growing.
"Would you care to explain what I just heard?" Ludwig's voice was low and cold when he finally spoke and it caused Feliciano to flinch again. He started shaking lightly and he hugged himself.
"I-I-I..." He swallowed and tried to think of what to say. Ludwig just stood there, still in his suit, his arms crossed over his chest. "I a-am a... I m-mean..." A tear escaped Feliciano as he tried to explain himself. As he attempted to figure out what to do.
Finally, he did what he does best. "I'm sorry!" And he ran away, out of his boyfriend's house and through the streets, sobbing as he went. Ludwig growled and sat on his bed, cradling his head in his hands.
He gritted his teeth. He loved Feliciano too much. He couldn't stay angry at the little Italian... especially when he could be in danger out there. He stood again and put his jacket back on. He needed to find a small Italian, wherever he may be. He walked to his house and finding it still locked, moved on.
He walked through the small town quietly, watching as people scattered to get out of his way. They knew by now to stay out of his way when he was angry. As the hours passed, he got more and more impatient. It started raining, but he moved on. He checked every pasta shop he knew of. Every gelato stand was closed. The pet store was empty, as was the beach.
As it was getting darker, he finally heard the sounds of quiet sniffling coming from the back of an alleyway. He walked down slowly, his eyes scanning every nook and cranny, before finding his boyfriend curled up with a cat, soaking wet.
He stared for a moment, trying to let some of his anger melt away, before walking forward and picking him up. The Italian just snuggled into his chest, crying a little more and gripping his shirt.
Ludwig sighed and carried him home, pushing the door open just as the lightning started. He walked up the stairs and laid Feliciano on his bed, quickly removing his wet clothes so he didn't catch a cold.
Feli opened his eyes and sniffled. "I'm sorry..." His fingers wrapped around Ludwig's shirt tightly, begging for forgiveness. Ludwig removed his hand and set it on the bed, turning to take his own clothes off. He shook his hair out, allowing it to leave the perfect confines it was used to taking.
He tossed his clothes to the side and sat on the bed, grabbing Feliciano's face firmly and making their eyes meet. Feliciano whimpered and grabbed his wrist, scared. Ludwig leaned in and whispered, "The next time you want to confess your love... confess it to me."
Feliciano's eyes widened and he gulped. He had never heard the German's voice so dark. So commanding... he... he liked it. Ludwig released his face and pulled him close, his blood rushing through his veins. "The next time you need to confess anything, you confess it to me."
Feliciano instinctively wrapped his arms around the German's neck. "I am your confessor now, Feliciano." Ludwig's face and voice were very serious as his hands tightly gripped the Italian's small hips.
The Italian was shaking again but he nodded in agreement. He leaned in and kissed Ludwig hesitantly, pulling away to whisper, "It's only been a few hours since my last confession..." His voice was shaking and his eyes were downcast. He sounded apologetic and genuine at the same time.
Ludwig tilted Feliciano's head up and back so that he could kiss and bite at the sensitive skin he knew was there. He didn't stop when he heard the Italian gasp. It only encouraged him to continue.
His hands ran up Feliciano's sides slowly, running up the length of his arms and removing them from around his neck. He pushed the Italian onto his back, his arms above his head in one of Ludwig's large hands.
He picked up one of Feliciano's legs and put it over his hip, his fingers running up and down slowly, making goosebumps form. "Good boy..." He leaned down and made a neat hickey right under Feliciano's jaw, making Feliciano cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure.
When Ludwig pulled away he smirked. "Now, what are your sins?" He moved down to kiss and nip across Feliciano's chest, listening to the quiet gasps of his name. His hand reached under the Italian to grab his ass lightly, making him squeak. "I believe I asked you what your sins were..."
Feliciano was panting loudly, lightly struggling against Ludwig's hand. "I... I've f-fallen in love!"
"That's not a sin..." Ludwig's voice was husky, low. He watched Feliciano's torment with a slight ecstasy, his heart racing. He slowly slipped a finger inside the Italian, listening to the moan of pleasure that escaped him. "Now, I suppose, if it's who you've fallen in love with..."
He moved his finger slowly, listening to Feliciano's breathing get faster and faster. He added another finger, not missing the small whimper of pain. He kissed his cheek lightly. "Who do you love?"
Feliciano just made a half whimper half moan, his fingers and wrists still trying to escape as he moved his hips against Ludwig's fingers. In response, the German's fingers seemed to move slower. He leaned in to whisper, "Who do you love?"
Feliciano managed to pant out, "You... I love... you."
Ludwig smiled. "Good boy." And with that, he pulled his fingers out and quickly pushed himself in. He grunted in pleasure and stayed still, hearing Feliciano crying in pain. He released the Italian's wrists to wrap his arms slowly around his waist. He kissed up and down his neck slowly, trying to distract him. Calm him.
It didn't take long for the quiet hiccups to stop, but still, Ludwig waited. He breathed deeply, being patient, even if it was torture. Finally he felt the slight movement of Feliciano's hips. The signal that all was good.
Ludwig pushed himself up, one hand reaching to grip the headboard for balance and the other to hold Feliciano. He began thrusting into him quickly, the Italian's shaking breaths enough to encourage him.
"Say it... again..." He stared at Feliciano's face, grunting softly. "Confess..."
The Italian gave a small cry before saying, "I love you... I love you! God, please, harder!"
Ludwig obeyed him, moving harder and faster. He grunted, bowing his head in concentration. His breathing was labored and he was sweating profusely. But he was in heaven. He leaned down, changing the angle that he thrust into his smaller boyfriend.
Feliciano yelled out in ecstasy, his arms wrapping around Ludwig's neck tightly, his eyes screwing shut. "That... isn't... a sin." Ludwig thrust harder, making sure to hit that spot every time. Feliciano was making little noises every time the German pushed into him, his fingers digging into his neck.
"Say it..." Ludwig grunted, gripping Feliciano's hips harder. "Say it."
"It's... ah, it's not... a-a sin!" Feli threw his head back, moaning loudly. And with that, Ludwig came inside him, reaching between them to jerk the Italian off into completion. He stayed inside him, moving slightly as he watched Feliciano's face.
"I love you... I love... you..." Feli's fingers tangled in his hair, moving in desperation. Ludwig leaned in and kissed his neck softly, pushing roughly once against his sweet spot. It drove the Italian over the edge and he came with a long moan.
They stayed still for a while. Feli's fingers digging into the back of Ludwig's neck. His back arched off the bed and into the German's abdomen. His breathing ragged and fast, almost like he was crying. He finally collapsed back against the bed, his arms loosely encircling Ludwig's neck.
Ludwig pulled out of him slowly, leaning over and grabbing a small rag to clean them both up. He was gentle, keeping his eyes on his task as he listened to Feliciano try and regain his breath. When he was done, he set the rag back where he found it and moved to hold Feliciano's face. "Open your eyes."
The Italian obeyed, staring into Ludwig's eyes. He sniffled once and shed a tear, his hands moving to cover Ludwig's. "I'm sorry... I am. I love you..."
"Shh..." Ludwig leaned in and kissed him lightly. "It's wrong for you to be punished for loving someone, Feli." He held the small body against him gently. He rubbed comforting circles into his back, his eyes closing. "And... and if you love me..."
Feli felt him tense and pushed himself away from the embrace to look at Ludwig curiously. "Ludwig?" His fingers gently ran across his cheek.
Ludwig opened his eyes, allowing a bit of the pain he felt to show. "If you love me, I would have liked to have been the first to know. Not a priest." Feliciano's heart broke. He had hurt his boyfriend. He had never seen this look on the normally stoic German's face. It was... heart wrenching. He threw his arms around Ludwig's neck, holding him tightly.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Please forgive me." Ludwig sighed and held him close again.
"Of course I forgive you..."
"I love you, Ludwig. I love you."
And the German smiled, turning his face to kiss his ear gently. He laid the Italian down and held him until he fell asleep. It wasn't until he could see that the Italian's chest was rising and falling in a steady pattern that he whispered, "I know... I love you, too."