Swoop Bike Baby

Chapter 1- Beat My Name.

"One-hundred ninety eight, one-hundred ninety-nine, two hundred." He counted, as he walked through the village, killing it's in habitants. "I knew today was going to be a good week." He laughed, twirling his gun on his finger and dropping it back in it's holster on his side. All of the inhabitants of this village were weak. "Durge, you've outdone yourself." He praised himself, feeling pleased. He spotted another villager.

Ah Nak Oo

The strange thing about these inhabitants, what that their heart beats sounded more like names than pulses. Maybe it was just his highly sensitive nervous system that he could hear them so clearly. Whatever it was, he snapped the Villager's neck, feeling accomplished. That's when he heard it, on the edges of his nervous sensory.


He took a step in each direction, trying to find where it originated. To the west. He ran towards it, and a Woman stood on a hill, at the entrance to a forest. She stared down at him and he stared at her.


It was her and the sound of it made his mind blur. She turned and ran off into the forest and he gaze chase. As her heart beat faster, the way his name was called grew louder and more frantic. Fear. If he was to take one trophy back from this trip, it'd be her. He had visually lost her, but he could hear his name. "Why hide? I'm going to find you anyways." The thick, whipped-creamed voice that spoke his name was no longer afraid. The way her heart said his name changed on her mood, it seemed. What an exquisite trophy he'd have. Now to find her and see what she looked like. "Come out wherever you are, little girl. If you come out, I promise I won't hurt you. (Much)."


He looked over to the north west, and she peeked out from behind a tree far away from him. Her brown hair was put up in a large bun with pins in it, trinkets and charms hung from the pins and were twisted in her hair. Her skin was light but the shadows the trees cast made it seem darker than it might have been. Durge chuckled as her bright green eyes scanned him and analyzed him in a calculative way. "Come out here now, girl." She slowly stepped out from behind the tree and into the open, her dark cherry lips coming into view. She was wrapped in a tribal cloak and wore a dress of brown underneath it.

When she walked, the trinkets in her hair tingles and the bangles on her feet and wrist joined in harmoniously. Every step held grace and silence. When she stopped he did his own examination, walking around her. She watched as he looked her over. "A fine trophy indeed." He commented, "Since you insist, I'll take you with me, Girl."

"I never offered my services." She told him darkly and he laughed,

"You're feisty too. I like that in my women." Durge said, "You're much to pretty for this place, so you should come with me. I take good care of my trophies." She stared at him before she ran off and he ran after her as she ran through the forest with ease, like some type of gazelle. He was tripping over fallen logs and debris as she easily by passed these, even in her clothing.

Durge. Durge.

She went in the direction of the village, stopping in the middle of it, covering her mouth in horror at the carnage that was left behind by Durge. "Got you." He said as he grabbed her upper arm and she jolted, her heart skipping a beat. "It seems you're the last one and that means you'll need to be preserved. Quickly, to my preservation zoo!" He pick her up and she yelled and clawed at him to put her down. "A lot of thinks have tried to kill me and I doubt you'll be the one to get the job done, girl."

"Lalita!" She snapped, "My name is Lalita!"

"Durge. I'll call you Lala. It's a lot nicer." Durge said, taking her to his ship and forcing her to sit down before clamping a collar around her neck and chaining her to the passenger seat on the ship. He took her bangles first, then the pins and trinkets out of her hair, untying her bun. Dark brown locks hell down like a waterfall cascading down her back, as she glared at him. "Stand." She stood up, her hair falling to just above her knees, before she sat back down. "Give me your cape and dress too. Maybe they can fetch a good price on the Black Market." Reluctantly, she took of the cape and handed it to him, hesitating as she looked at her dress.

"I have nothing to wear other than this."

"Well, that's not my problem now is it?" Durge told her and she huffed, sitting back down. "Oh, you don't want to make me angry, Lala. I'm not so charming when I'm mad." He told her.

"I'm not taking off my dress unless I have something else to wear. You want the dress, you find me something else. Now it's your problem." She told him and he groaned,

"Fine, I'll trade you the dress for…" He looked around and pulled a robe off the back of his chair. "This robe." She hesitated, "Take it or leave it. Limited time offer only." She stood up and took the dress off, handing it to Durge. Her hips and torso were wrapped in bandages and he groaned but gave her to robe anyways. "What a rip off, I wanted to see boobs and ass."

"I don't think so." She said sharply as the door to the ship closed and she watched it.

"I like you. I think I'll make you my top trophy. You'll go everywhere with me, won't that be fun?" He asked, "Buckle up, we're going home." She looked around for a seat belt, but he buckled her in himself. "That's where it is for future reference." He told her, starting the engine and the ship lifted off the ground. He still heard it. It was a soft coo. Almost tempting.

Durge. Durge.

He looked over at her as she stared out the window. "How long will you keep me before you kill me?"

"Kill you? No, but I will keep you. I'll keep you for a very, very, long time." she looked at him as Durge laughed, "I'll be dead before I let anyone else keep you. You're my trophy. Besides, I have a life span of four thousand years." He face changed into a look of dismay, as he laughed louder, "Cheers, to a happy future, my sweet Lala!"

~O~ Elsewhere ~O~

The ship landed and Durge walked off first, Lala following. It was a mountain summit they'd landed on, with a large set of doors on the side. "Welcome to your new home." It was dark and gloomy and made her hug herself. The feeling of no security was new to her. "You'll stay here, get acquainted with everything, then I'll start bringing you with me once you're settled."

"Then why do you want me to stay here when I'm not going to be staying here?" She asked and he laughed, turning to her,

"Because you and I," He said, lifting up her chin with a curled finger, "Have so much to talk about in so little time. Its ironic, since we both have all the time in the world to spend together."

"what if I don't want to have anything to do with you?"

"Then everything will be the same aside from you hating me with everything you've got. Remember, 'hate' is a twisted form of 'love' and 'love' leads to 'sex'." durge told her and she chuckled, crossing her arms,

"If we must speak of many things then let us talk. Hoe well do you treat your trophies?" she asked, slowly circling around him and she walked in a counter circle around her.

"I ensure that they're only looked at- not touched- or someone loses their life." He told her and she nodded,

"So my security and protection are…well insured?" She questioned and he stopped, making her stop too. "Of course, but with a few…conditions." She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a charity. You're going to be with me, or, you can try to fight me. If you fight me, go behind my back and side with my enemies, then I will hunt you down and cage you up like I should. But I will say, it's better to be on my side. Better guns, better clothes, better…physical encounters." She chuckled, "You will have to wear your collar and I will chain you to the ship if I'd rather you not come with me. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." She answered, "Your cloak- I need something else to wear." Durge nodded. "My own clothes, I suppose, won't catch you a very good price. I'd like them back."

"Nice try." Durge told her, waving his hand at her new 'home'. "I have things to do. Help yourself to anything you find and wish to wear." Lala looked around and wandered down the hall as Durge went about his way. On either sides of the hall, were rooms that had no doors, showcasing a trinket from all of his kills. All were organized as well. Labels beneath them told when they were taken, where they were taken, how they were taken, and personal comments. Some of his taxidermy achievements wore clothes, but she didn't dream of taking their clothes. That was 'Wrong' and 'Disturbing' on too many levels. She stopped, coming to a room that Durge was in, drilling something to the wall above the left side of a bed.

It must have been the bedroom. "Welcome to the love nest." She turned around and walked out. He pulled her back in by the hand, "Don't be so cold. This is where you'll sleep from now on." He said, pulling her over to the left side of the bed. He had drilled a plaque that said 'Lala' on it, above the bed. Between the bed and the plaque, also on the wall, was a fastening of gold that held a thick, round ring. He tugged on it to check for sturdiness. "Even I can't pull it off." He said proudly and she looked at him questioningly. "Before you sleep, I'll tie your chain up here. Speaking of chain, I made you a new collar." He said and she watched him as he lifted a silver collar to the light of the lamps on either side of the bed. "Pure white gold. 24 carats." Durge voiced and she looked at it. It has 'DURGE' imprinted upon it's surface, and a small ring. He switched the collar in his hands to the one around her neck, and latched the chain on it then tied the free end around the new loop on the wall. It was heavier than the first collar, but it looked like one of the bangles she'd worn before Durge took them.

He flopped down on the bed, making himself as comfortable as possible which entailed him burrowing, tossing and spastically flailing about, to do so. "Ok, now I'm comfy." He said, and she sat down. "So, let's talk. I enjoy my baths at one-hundred degrees exactly. All of my products must be kept in the same order, in a perfect line, from smallest to taller starting on the left. Smallest on the left, tallest on the right. Not by the bottle, though, by how much they contain."

"Am I to be your maid?"

"No, that would mean you were working here. You're more of a trophy wife." Durge told her and she scowled, "One that doesn't have to do a lot of wife-tasks or whatever." She calmed down.

"What do I get in return for doing these things?" She asked and he thought about it. "You ask for peculiar things I've never even heard from the men in my village and they were very particular. I refuse to do anything unless I get compensated in some way."

"When I get trophies I can pick a few things up for you. Maybe bring you home a dead bird or a lizard…" He tilted his head to the side, "what other things to girls like?" "Girly things." "Ok, then I'll get you girly things. Like thongs and panties, right?" "No, dresses and perfumes and such." "Oh those girly things. Yeah, sure, whatever. So, anyways, about my baths-" "One-hundred degrees, all bottles lines up, smallest from the left to tallest on the right, by contents." "Looks like we have an understanding about the baths. Now, about my breakfast-"

~O~ A Week Later ~O~

He sat in his bath, bubbles floating on the surface, as Durge relaxed. All of his bottles in order, just like he liked them, and the door opened, Lala coming in, "Here are the bounties that were just printed out." He said, handing him a handful of partially transparent pages, each with different info on a different bounty, including a picture of the one they wanted hunted down. "No Mandalorians."

"Damn it." He grunted as she left the bathroom. Durge put the pages on the bathroom floor and leaned forward, scrubbing his back and grumbling, "Why the fuck would people cheat me out of killing those bastard mandalorians? Lala!" She appeared after a few minutes, "Take these away." She picked them up and stared at him for a few minutes,

"It's perplexing to me why you wear your helmet while bathing." She said and he looked at her,

"Go and take those away." He said and she turned and left the bathroom as he picked up a champagne glass that had been waiting for attention on the side of the bath tub, " 'It's perplexing why you where your helmet in the bath'." He said in a whiny, mocking voice, "Tch." He drained the glass in one gulp, looking at it. "Where the hell are the diamonds in my glass! I'm rich and I want diamonds in my god-damn glass!"

"You told me that they're trouble for your digestion, so, I decided to not put them in the glass. You might swallow them." She called back, and Durge went back to scrubbing his back, grumbling about spousal abuse. "Hurry up or your breakfast will get cold."

"I'm going to take my sweet ass time." He yelled, scrubbing his back harder, before she came over with a tray. "What are you-" His breakfast was on the tray. "Don't you dare!" she set the tray down just outside of the threshold of the bathroom door. She left to go do something as he stared at the tray. "Lala." She reappeared. "I want that tray in my bath."

"I'm sure you want your bounty in your bath too, but life isn't fair. If you want it, you get it yourself." Lala decreed, and continued on her way. Durge washed his back off, looking at the tray. She came back in with a towel and a fresh set of clothes, setting them on the bathroom counter.

"Lalita." she looked at him, "You always torture me like this when I take a bath." She sighed and picked up the tray, setting it next to the bath, "Thank you Lala."

"My name is Lalita!" She snapped, before a knock echoed throughout the place and they both looked in the direction of where the front doors were.

"Did you order something?" He questioned and she shook her head as someone knocked again. "Go check it." She walked over to the front doors as another knock resounded. She opened the door and two figures stood in front of the door. One was wrapped in a dark cloak and the other, in a white cloak. The White cloaked one looked like some type of droid, and lowered his hand, tucking it back in his robe.

"Hello." She flinched and looked over at the dark robed one, who had light grey hair and a matching beard but dark eyebrows. Lala curtsied in response, "This is my associate, General Grievous, and I am Count Dooku. We're here for Durge." She hesitated, before turning away from them and holding open the door, ushering them in. "Thank you."

"I am Lala." She said, "Would you two care for something to drink?"

"I would love a cup of tea." Count Dooku grinned, and Grievous didn't seem to pay attention. "Don't be rude, Grievous, answer the lady." Grievous looked at her and grumbled, "Tea." She shut the door behind them, walking to the left and they followed,

"Please wait here." She said, gesturing to a room with a fireplace and two couches, a coffe table in the middle with little snacks on it. "Help yourselves to the treats." With that, she left them there and went ro Durge in his bath.

"Well? Whose here?" Durge asked and she wrung her hands, durge continuing to calmly eat his breakfast before it got too cold. "Your breakfast has gotten better. What are they here for? You remembered to be polite, didn't you, and to put them in the waiting room with fresh snacks?"

"Two people- they say they're here for you. I think they're the Police." Lala said and Durge choked on his breakfast, coughing hoarsely, "I remembered the room and snacks too. I have to make them tea now." "Shit, fuck, damnit!" Lala went to the kitchen and made the tea the guests had requested, goving over and pouring them both fresh cups.

"What of Durge?" Dooku asked and she paused, before continued what she was doing,

"Thank you for your patience, he'll be here in a moment." She said, sitting on the opposite couch as the guest occupied one couch, pouring herself a cup of tea. Durge came in not too long after.

"Sorry for the wait." Durge said, sitting down and she poured him a cup of tea as well. Lala was silent and drank her tea diligently,

"Now, who is this girl, Durge?" Dooku asked, and Lala refrained from showing any type of emotion.

"She's my newest trophy. I liked her so much, I brought her home." Durge said triumphantly, as she quietly sipped her tea without slurping, in perfect princess pose. "Lala here is the best maid I've had- ever- she never forgets any of the specific orders you ask for." He looked at his cup. "Lala, where is my tea flower?"

"The flowers you put in your tea were poisonous." She answered matter-of-factly. "I threw them away." Durge gestured to her,

"A whole day to learn everything. Executes everything perfectly." Durge put his tea down. "I doubt you came here for tea and crumpets though, Gents." Lala got to her feet and left the room with her empty tea cup. Grievous watched her leave, as did Dooku, before Dooku looked at Durge, as Grievous excused himself.

"I want to hire you to join the Republic's struggle." Dooku said, while Lala turned the sink on in the kitchen and started washing her used cup and saucer. She heard a click and whipped around, Grievous looming over her, blocking all of the light in the room that he was almost too tall for. He put his cup in the sink and she turned around and finished washing her own set, before washing his. He didn't move, he just watched in silence for a few minutes as she dried the dishes off and put them away.

"I'm a general." He said and she turned around, raising an eyebrow and nodding a little,

"Yes, your friend Count Dooku said you were a General. It sounds like a distinguished title, congratulations." Lala said, trying to ignore how close he was and how he loomed over her like a snake would their next meal. when he leaned closer, she quickly slide to the side,, away from him, and went around him, quickly walking back to the waiting room as he watched. She walked into the room calmly and bent down, "That General is skeeving me out." she whispered to Durge, a hand up so Dooku wouldn't hear. Durge nodded and she sat down next to him, Grievous entering the room and taking up his own position once more.

"Lala, you're aware of the mandalorian shortage, right?" She nodded as Durge spoke, "It seems that a different race has mass cloned one of them into an army that the Republic is using. Count Dooku here just asked if I'd be willing to help cut them down." Lala smiled warmly, "Well, that seems to be the perfect solution to your problem." "It is, right? I've accepted his offer. I think it's time to put on your nice dress and we'll follow these men out." "I don't have a nice dress. This is the only dress I own, remember?" "Oh, shit, you're right. Ok, well, I'll get you a nice dress wherever we land. Get your nice cloak though." "Should I pack anything?" "No…well…pack my weaponry." "Of course." She got to her feet and left the room. She stopped and turned around, "Whose ship will we be taking?"

"You and I will take our ship and I'm sure that our friend the Count and the General will take their own ship." Durge said, but Count Dooku shook his head.

"I'd rather Grievous travel with you, Durge. It's too cramped in my ship for him." Dooku said, looking at Lala who bowed,

"I will make the extra preparations and load the Swoop bikes into the ship." Lala answered, before walking off. She put the weapons in the special bay that Durge had on his ship for his weapons, swoop bikes already loaded inside was Grievous entered the ship. Lala glanced over at him, "I'm sure that you'll be sitting in the Passenger seat. Help yourself to adjusting it to your liking." She told him, and continued doing what she was doing.

"Why don't you fight back?" Grievous asked as she finished putting the weapons in the case, closing it and locking it up.

"Pardon me, but I believe I'm not sure what you're talking about." She answered, going over to a bench where another plaque that said 'Lala' hung above it with another hook. She attacked herself to it and sat down on the bench, pulling her cloak around her.

"Your collar." He said, and she looked at him, hands in her lap,

"My kind makes good servants, as we are usually very docile. Many of my village were taken before for their unique 'heart beats' that sound like names. None of us realize it, but I suppose others do. Durge says my heart beats his name, so, he didn't kill me after she slaughtered my friends and family." She answered, "He hasn't treated me badly yet, thus, I have no reason to run."

"Are you only docile to one person?" Grievous asked, intrigued, and she raised an eyebrow,

"I don't think I understand." Durge came onto the ship,

"Oh, oh, me, me, I want to answer this one!" Durge said, and she laughed, pointing to him, "You can have her over my dead body, Grievs!"

"Grievous!" Grievous snapped and she smiled gently as the general growled unhappily.

"He nicknamed me too, please don't be too bothered by it." Lala said and Grievous looked at her and she put a hand on her bosom, "My name is Lalita." Grievous stared down at her quietly,

"General Grievous." Grievous repeated.

"Yes, I know, you don't need to keep repeating your name." Lala laughed and Durge yelled at Grievous to buckle up or lose a life. Grievous sat down and buckled up as the doors were closed and the Ship lifted off the ground.