Hi there! Finally I cranked out that Yullen story I've been dying to write! Ever since I got over my Yuvi phase and the short Lucky and AllenxTyki spots, I've been obsessed but too busy to write. So here is the story I came up with to get my Yullen demons out!

Summary: Kanda's POV. Kanda is having trouble with the concept of sex, and contemplating whether or not he can live without it, when a stupid Moyashi shows up and ruins it all (The summary will be different next chapter).

Rating: Definitely M. This would probably be rated MA but they don't have that rating here (it's only in the rating guide, WTF?) so I guess I'll just have to stick with M.

Warnings: Rated M for: language (aka Kanda's dirty mouth), experimental masturbation, and probably some hardcore yaoi in later chapters. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEN GO DISINFECT YOURSELF AND DON'T READ! I DON'T WANT SPAMMERS AND I WILL REPORT YOU IF YOU SPAM MY STORY!

Also, on the warning part, I'm in an AP English class right now, so if there are some big words or fancy writing, blame that. It's just the way they program you if you want to pass that damned class.

DISCLAIMER: This is the story of what WOULD happen if I owned D. Gray-man. Which I don't.


Yuu Kanda is not a pervert. Nor is he crazy about sex like most of the deprived people at the Black Order. In fact, he is a virgin, but thanks to his really perverted 'friends', he was starting to feel funny. And he only realized why when he had to endure listening to Lavi and Lenalee having a rather intimate 'conversation' in the other hotel room on a mission.

Hearing sex made him think about it, and it's never good when Kanda thinks. Especially about touchy subjects like that. The more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable he got and then he realized he was uncomfortable because he wanted it. His hormones wanted to take command of his body, while his mind fought to keep the stoic personality alive both on the inside and the outside. His inner conflict would not go away, and after this revelation, he was even more moody, crabby and distant than before.

Very soon, it was noticeable to those who still paid attention to him, and he was boldly approached about it one day by the god damn usagi, who apparently had guessed. 'Wanting sex is just part of being a man,' the red head had told him, and to his extreme embarrassment (though he would never admit it) Lenalee had concurred when he finally noticed her eavesdropping.

But it's not like he cared what they thought anyways; he was Yuu Kanda. He could make his own god damn decisions and decide what he wants and doesn't want.

But then he decided he did need some form of sex, whether he liked it or not (after accidentally touching himself). The only problem: he was about as inexperienced as a nun and frankly, sex scared him a little bit. It was embarrassing the role he was supposed to play in the whole act, not to mention he had gone through 18 years, including puberty, without it and he wanted it to stay like that.

But oh, how he wanted to toss that out the window.

It progressively got better though, minus the creepily-interested Lavi asking him how he 'felt'. He had just been strolling down the hallway one day, definitely not thinking about that, when all of a sudden the Akuma alarm went off and a Finder reached him, desperately telling him to dispatch of the threat the door keeper had detected.

So he did his job, whipped out his sword, scaring the shit of the Finder next to him, and ran down the hall full speed. He got to the roof, spotted the boy and, assuming that was the target, attacked. Only when the kid pulled out a letter from 'General' Cross confirming that he wasn't an Akuma, Kanda angrily huffed back to his room, forgetting the harsh words he had automatically spit out at the silver haired freak.

And then, the next day, as that 'freak' stopped him from choking the life out of some useless, dumbass Finder, he looked into those steely gray eyes and he suddenly felt uneasy. There was something wrong with that kid.

So, taking matters into his own hands, he did the most logical thing: stalking and snooping. He scoped out the Moyashi's daily routine and found the time for snooping would be either on his next mission or when the kid was taking a shower. Seeing as he was probably the most impatient bastard ever, gracing the planet with his presence, the first option was out of order. So he snuck into the Walker's room while he was in the bathroom, grateful that the loser took such long, girlish showers.

The room was void of nearly all decoration and furniture, save a painting; almost as desolate as his quarters. Ignoring the creepy goblin thing carrying a coffin in the only picture, he quietly snuck over and started sifting through the desk that was next to the window. All he found was a few pencils, some forms he had filled out when signing up for the job as an Exorcist, and a shitty old book. Damn, he had nothing.

But that book could have something, so he opened it and discovered it wasn't merely a book, but a diary. He was starting to wonder if this kid was actually of the male species. Hurrying through the pages, he stopped at one from the day Moyashi had joined the Order:

"Today is probably one of the best days ever! I finally made it to the Order like Master told me to do after I woke up, curse him. Had a not so friendly encounter with some crazy samurai named 'Kanda' that Lenalee later told me to stay away from. After I learned of the lousy pay and crappy services, I got shown my room, but hey at least it's better than staying with Cross. I have my first mission tomorrow…"

It continued on after that into even more boring details Kanda didn't give a fuck about, so he tossed it back in. Slithering over to the bed, he looked in the bed stand, underneath it, underneath the bed. Nothing. The only thing left was the closet.

What he found inside was just more evidence of the kid's manliness, or lack of. Everything was hung up nicely, and he was pretty sure the hangers were evenly spaced to the centimeter. Even the loser's bow tie things were hung up!

Frustrated he slammed the door shut, wincing at the noise it made. It really wasn't that loud, but all of a sudden the shower stopped running and he heard the screech of the curtain rings being moved.

As calmly and cool as he could he darted into the closet and reclosed the door just as the bathroom door opened. Out stepped Allen, wearing a towel around his waist and one hung around his neck. He looked around his room suspiciously, but just shrugged after a second, letting Kanda breath that sigh of relief.

Then he dropped the towel.

Kanda's eyes bugged out, wide as saucers. The kid had just shoved down the towel and was now rubbing it all over his toned body to dry off. The samurai's mouth opened and closed, as if he were stuttering. Then he took notice of just how toned that body was.

Walker had pale, creamy white skin. One shade lighter and it would make him look sick. His arms and legs were actually well muscled, and he had a six pack, with well-developed biceps and triceps for someone of his stature. It was the clothes he wore that made him look so small and girly.

But then, unwillingly, Kanda's eyes trailed lower to the boys groin and he nearly gasped aloud.

Walker was hard! What the fuck happened in that shower?

Just as he was trying to tear his eyes away from the semi-erect cock practically right in front of him, the Moyashi (now an inappropriate nickname, but who cares?) looked down and groaned at the sight of his arousal. He looked down in shame, like he was embarrassed he got a fucking hard on in the shower. So he turned around and walked right back in.

At first Kanda thought he was going to go in there to 'take care' of his little problem but then he heard a gasp and guessed the wimp had turned the water to cold. Strangely thankful for the spontaneous erection Allen probably got from his teenage hormones, Kanda flung himself out of the closet and darted down to his room.

Sliding down the back of his door, he breathed a sigh of relief. Why was he so shocked and worn out? Oh right, he had just seen a 15 year-old get a hard on and go relieve himself in the bathroom. Suddenly a warm feeling spread through his body and he was now the one feeling embarrassed. He had never seen, had, watched or touched anything related to sex (save that night in the hotel with Lavi and Lenalee, where he unwillingly heard it all). Seeing a teenage boy undress, rub himself down, and then get an erection right in front of him were all arousing things. Uncomfortable things. Then he realized why he felt so embarrassed and hot.

He looked down between he spread legs and groaned at the bulge in his pants. Had Moyashi, the Moyashi, just gotten him sexually wound up?

"Dammit!" he yelled and hit the wall next to him. How could this happen? To him, Yuu Kanda especially! He was the cold, emotionless, friendless jackass everybody stayed away from and he was fine with that. And now, the kid only having arrived a week ago, he was already having 'problems' with the new Exorcist. If it was a girl he would be less worried, because most men, especially teenagers like him, had fantasies about women and their bodies. But this was different.

Sighing in frustration, he looked down at himself again and then a light bulb appeared for the first time over his half-empty noggin. He stared at the bulge for a few seconds before reaching down and gliding his finger over the cloth of his pants, hissing in pleasure and jerking from the sudden feeling.

That's it! He was simply aroused by the sight of somebody naked because sex had been on his mind lately, and he was finally actually becoming human and desiring at least some form of physical contact. That contact just happened to be sex, but hey, don't judge.

Kanda continued stroking himself through his pants, hisses turning to breathless moans and jerking turned to bucking. Yanking down the zipper, he hurriedly grabbed himself and started stroking faster and fingering himself harder, moaning and groaning louder.

A coiled tension built up in his stomach and he member grew stiffer and he felt as if he were going to explode. Then his back arched off the door and his head hit the wood, but the blinding pleasure of his first orgasm drowned out the slight pain from the smack. He kept bucking and twisting as he rode out his orgasm and eventually sat there, still holding his now soft member, breathing hard from his first sexual action.

And now that it was over, he was already craving more. All of a sudden, the image of the aroused Moyashi sprang into his head and he found himself getting hard again. What the hell, wait, wait, wait, that wasn't supposed to happen!

He stared down in disbelief at his now fully-erect cock and tentatively kept the image of Allen in his head as he reached down and touched himself again. Wet, glistening, aroused Moyashi…

He bucked and repeated pleasuring himself, this time getting lost in the movements and thoughts of the teen down the hall and came hard again in his hand, the white seed creating a puddle in front of him and joining the rest.

"Fuck…" he whispered to himself. He was hot and bothered for the annoying, little bastard just rooms away, and could do nothing about it. Those images stayed in his head for a good hour as he just sat there in front of his door, drowning in denial.

It was so wrong, but he couldn't help it. For the first time in a long time, he felt lost and confused, now for his own body's actions instead of another's actions. But he took a deep breath, nodded his head firmly once, shoved himself up and went to get a washcloth to clean the mess on the floor and on himself.

He needed sex, and he desperately wanted it. And that boy was going to be the one to give it to him.


But the certainty slowly started to wear off over the weeks, and agitation took its place.

Normally he wouldn't give a rat's ass about the new kid. He had told him he would learn his name if he lasted more than a month, but he already knew the kid was Allen Walker. Moyashi. Beansprout, short stack, whichever he felt like calling the guy at any given time. But secretly, he was entranced. And confused, especially with what happened in his room that night, and how he was reacting to it.

Walker had all the qualities and characteristics Kanda normally hated: happiness, buoyancy, friendliness, not to mention he was probably the only person in the Black Order that wasn't afraid of him (except Lenalee, but it depended on the situation). So why the fuck was he so attracted to that runt of a kid who hadn't even hit puberty yet?

Maybe it was the fact he wasn't afraid. That was a rare occurrence. He radiated an aura of darkness and despair that could kill all the little birdies flying overhead on a bright sunny day. He wasn't used to being opposed, perhaps that was why he was honing in on the kid, but that made no sense and confused the shit out of him.

One day, when he was walking by to kill the extra time he had, he heard Lenalee talking with her protective freak-of-a-brother Komui.

"Lenalee, I know you like Allen, but he's a man that isn't me, so he'll fall in love with you. I don't want you going near him anymore!" Kanda snorted at the stupidity and insanity of that demand.

"But nii-san, he's so innocent and nice and sweet and friendly! He wouldn't do anything like that! He's like my little brother, so trust me, all you have to worry about is sibling rivalry!" she patted Komui on the head and skipped away, making Kanda nauseous at her pure girlyness.

But then he realized what she said, and it hit him like an elephant on crack. It was the innocence. Allen was so pure and yet so strong, perhaps even stronger than him. He hadn't even touched himself when he got horny, he just went and took a cold shower for God's sake! That was innocence, and borderline ignorance. But that had to be it; it was in his eyes and in the way he acted, the way he moved. At first Kanda has just thought it was ignorance, but now with what Lenalee had said, it all made perfect fucking sense!

Well, at least he had it figured out. Now he just needed to figure out if he would admit it or hid it. What did they say now? Spill the beans? Whatever, not like Yuu Kanda even fucking cares about common lingo.

Now he just had to get the guts to do either of those.


A few months after the Moyashi had first come to the Order, and had still survived, Kanda was just eating his soba quietly and semi-contentedly in the cafeteria when all of a sudden Lavi, Lenalee, Johnny, Marie and Reever burst through the doors dragging a kicking and screaming Allen.

"What the fuck?" Kanda asked aloud, his question being drowned out by Allen's screams and the group's maniacal laughter.

"Waz up Yuu-chan?" Lavi grinned at him. Kanda picked up his tray, smashed it over the baka usagi's head and started walking away. "Aw, Yuu-chan what was that for? You got food in my hair and now my head hurts!" the idiot rabbit complained. But Kanda couldn't care less.

"Kanda wait!" He turned to see Lenalee and Reever bounding up to him. He stopped and crossed his arms with his I-just-wasted-my-soba-make-it-quick-or-die-I'm-impatient-today look. They stopped two feet away, making him shrink back. Everybody knows he needs at least a 4 foot radius around him so he would catch the stupid that seemed to be making its way around the Order.

"What the hell do you want?"

"It's Allen's birthday!" Lenalee cheered. Kanda's eyebrows went up a fraction of an inch in surprise. Wasn't it Christmas? "And to celebrate that and Christmas, we're all sneaking out to go the Wild Bill's Bar for some drinks. Wanna come?"

Now the surprise showed plain as day on his face. First of all, he wasn't a drinker. He had gotten drunk once and never wanted to feel that way again. And secondly, why the hell was Lenalee going drinking with everyone? Last he heard, when Lavi and the others snuck out to do that, she dissuaded some of them from going with her mother-hen lectures and down-talk.

"No." he said flatly.

"Oh please! It can be your present to Allen!" the girl begged.

"I care less about my birthday than I do about his, why the hell would I give the fucking Moyashi a present?"

"It'll be fun! Please?"

"There's nothing else to do and you do the same thing every day; change it up a bit once and a while." Reever added. Lenalee nodded her head fiercely in agreement. Kanda was about to say no, when he looked over at the disheveled Moyashi sitting on the bench yelling at Lavi and Marie smirking down at him. This could be his chance. And now that he thought about it, if he got it off his chest while he was drunk, Allen could just pass it off as the alcohol's doing and he would be off the hook. Not to mention a little drinky would calm his ecstatic nerves.

"Fine," he grumbled, stalking away as the two cheered and went to tell the others the news.

God, he hoped he wasn't making a huge mistake.


They set out at 10 o'clock that night, all of them dressed in their Saturday night best. Lenalee was wearing a really short skirt, Lavi was wearing skinny jeans with a chain, and the scientists along with Marie all had on jeans and t-shirts. Allen just wore a casual dress shirt and regular pants.

Kanda himself was a surprise. The only clothes he owned that weren't his Exorcist uniform or part of it, was a white t-shirt, zip up jacket and some jeans with his fighting boots. His hair was kinky from the shower he had taken and up in a high ponytail, making him the sexiest one there.

"Oi, can we just leave already?" he asked as the group conversed about the plans, paying him no mind. Save Allen, who was gaping in the shock of Kanda's casual dress and actual presence. They all stopped when they saw him dressed like that, without his sword. But when he gave them the same old death glare, they were reassured it wasn't some kind of replicant taking his place.

Leaving the dreary building they worked at, they took the train down to the town closest to them and entered the bar, which was in its drinking club setting now. Bodies thrashed to the music and the bar was covered in slobbering drunks and shameless men harassing women with their God awful come-ons. Kanda just rolled his eyes.

Immediately he was grabbed and dragged to the bar, where a beer was placed in front of him. He just looked at it and grabbed the whiskey slider from Maries hand and downed it in two seconds, nervous about his confession plan. They all stared at him and then clapped, like they had thought he had some liver problem before they saw him actually ingest alcohol.

After that, the others wandered off to the dance floor and Kanda just stayed at their table, 'watching' Lenalee's purse. By then he had downed 3 shots and a beer, now contentedly buzzed and not as nervous as before. Allen meandered over and took a sip of his wimpy little lemonade.

Kanda hadn't taken into account what would happen if Allen decided to get drunk too. Perhaps he would shove him off after his confession no matter if he was sober or drunk. Or maybe they would have started making out, getting to the real deal and he wouldn't have to let Allen forget about it. He was almost disappointed when Allen decided to take the sober path tonight, if not only for the sake of having to be the not drunk one to drag them all back home.

"Aren't you going to dance?" the Moyashi asked. Kanda just gave him a half bored, half incredulous look. "Hey, I usually don't dance. This whole idea isn't really my thing, but I'm enjoying myself you can too," he touched Kanda's arm and dragged it down. He meant it as a friendly gesture but Kanda's drunk and smutty mind took it the other. His face heated up and he was glad for the dark and smoky room.

"Che. Whatever." Allen pursed his lips.

"Suit yourself." He bounded away to continue with the rest of them while Kanda shoved more drinks down his throat, all the while contemplating how he was going to do this.


Kanda gagged as he retched into the toilet. Getting drunk wasn't such a good idea when one hasn't drunk in a long, long time. Wiping his mouth to get the disgusting mess of his face, he stumbled over to the sink. Spying the convenient little mouthwash bottles on the counter, he swiped one and swished it around, eager to just go home at this point. He gave up; his plan had failed and now he was just making a fool out of himself.

"Kanda?" a soft voice asked, scaring the crap out of the samurai.

"Fuck! What the hell Moyashi, don't sneak up on people!" he yelled.

"Sorry! I just came to see how you were doing, you looked fine then you were tearing toward the bathroom. Told you not to drink so much," he scolded, ignoring the nickname he hated.

"Che, like I would dance with you guys, the only other alternative."

"It wasn't that bad. Oh, gross you missed some," he took a paper towel out of the dispenser and wiped some vomit of the corner of Kanda's mouth. "God, you're a mess."

"Like I don't know it," the Japanese growled.

"Here," Allen grabbed around his waist and tugged one of Kanda's arms around his shoulder, supporting him. But Kanda's alcohol laced mind freaked out at the sudden contact and he fell over.

"Fucking Moyashi! You made me fall!" he yelled. Allen stuttered an apology as Kanda fell over toward the wall, sliding halfway down and leaning against it. "You stupid…Moyashi," he was breathing hard.

"Whoa, are you okay? You look like you're going to pass out."

Kanda looked up at Allen through glazed eyes, stumbled over and once, just once, pressed his lips against Allen's for all that he was worth. As he pulled back, he could see the shock on the kid's face. Now he could cross 'Confession' off his bucket list*.

It was the last thing he saw before he fell back to the ground.


So how was it? I know it was a little long, but I always write more than I plan to when I just plan on doing a two-shot or three-shot. Tell me what you thought in a review. I tried to limit the grammatical errors and stuff, but you never know.

*Bucket list- In D. Gray-man 19, there's a drawing of Kanda and Allen dressed modernly leaning against a graffiti covered wall that says 'Bucket List' on the top. For those of you who didn't notice, the clothes Kanda wears in the picture is the clothes he's wearing in my story to the club. And for those who don't know what a bucket list is, it's a list of stuff someone wants to do before something happens, typically before they die.


Over and Out.

-cally (^o^)

P.S: I just today (10/16/11) changed my profile name to Llama Gnocchi, but I'm still gonna sign that way ( ^ ).