AN: rated M for suggestive and graphic content, drinking, adult language, and adult themes. RonxHermione action with implied HarryxGinny. Slightly out of character simply because Jo never wrote her characters as so sexually driven xD


Ron looked at Hermione, who was gnawing nervously on her bottom lip. She was so sexy when she was worried.

"Castle to E5?" she questioned, looking at the chess board.

The castle moved obediently and Ron smiled, victorious. "Knight to E5."

"Oh no!" Hermione slumped in her chair.

"Take it off babe." Ron said with a cocky grin.

"This really isn't fair." Hermione said, unclasping her bra and tossing it in the pile of her discarded clothing.

"You only say that because you're losing."

"Obviously. You're still fully clothed."

"I've lost my shoes." Ron said, barely containing a smirk.

"You started without those." Hermione pointed out.

"Well, you're doing much better than usual."

"Thanks Ronald." Hermione sighed, "I don't even know why I agree to play with you."

"Because you love me." Ron smiled.

"And you love to see me naked analyzing a chess board."

"I can't help it if you're sexy when you're naked and looking puzzled."

"Really? You think I'm sexy?" Hermione asked coyly.

"You know you are." Ron said, staring at Hermione and getting lost in her beauty.

"Would I be sexy even if I took your Queen?"


"Bishop to D4."

"My queen! ?" Ron broke free of his trance and stared down at the board.

"Take it off Ronald."

"My queen?"

"Oh don't look so horrified. I was bound to get a piece sooner or later. Now take it off."

"But Hermione, that's checkmate."

"What?" She looked down at the board; the cornered King had dropped his sword in surrender.

"I won? I've never won. Ever."

"But you must have won. He's already surrendered."

Hermione smirked, leaning back on the chair, "So despite the fact that I'm basically naked on the living room chaise I actually beat Chess Master Ronald Bilius Weasley? And I get to choose this week huh?"

"I never lose." Ron stared at the board. How had this happened?

Then he looked at his mostly naked girlfriend. That's how. He thought wryly. The curve of her hips, the dip of the valley of her breasts. The smooth expanse of her abdomen. Her cream flesh legs, crossed and hiding her clad womanhood. Ron realized his staring was giving him a rather uncomfortable problem and he shifted, attempting to ease the suffering.

"Fair is fair." He finally managed.

Hermione continued looking smug. "My choice."

Finally her eyes sparkled and she sat up, leaning toward Ron with a devilish glint in her eye. "I want you to go streaking."

"Done." Ron said cockily.

"At the Christmas party tonight."

Ron's eyes went wide. "Hermione. That's… Hermione…"

She sat back, looking rather pleased with herself.

"But… I've… Hermione." Ron's pleading tone had little effect on the witch.

"Fair is fair." She intoned smugly.

"Hermione. Last time I won strip chess what did I make you do?" Ron asked a little condescendingly.

"You made me stand on the kitchen table naked and sing some ridiculous wizard song I'd never heard of." Hermione said, slight bitterness in her voice.

"Yes. In the kitchen. Not in public. I would never make you be naked in public. I mean, except for that one time in the Leaky Cauldron bathroom."

"I never thought I'd get that splinter out of my butt." Hermione said wincing slightly at the memory.

"The point is you want me to go streaking through the Ministry of Magic! In front of my boss! And our coworkers! And friends and family!" Ron said, his voice squeaking by the end of his tirade.

"Ron think about it," Hermione said calmly, "We've been together how long?"

"Three years, six months and 27 days." Ron said without hesitation.

Hermione gave a brief pause at the specificity in his answer. "Yes. And we've been friends since we were eleven. And how many games of chess have I won?"

"Just this one." Ron mumbled.

Hermione was nodding. "And how many more do you think I will win?"

Ron didn't answer in case he said the wrong thing.

"Exactly. I have to do something really, really diabolical because I may never get another chance!"

Ron sighed, seeing his girlfriend's point.

Hermione smiled, satisfied as she reached for her clothes to get dressed.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Ron asked his voice suddenly husky.

"Getting dressed."

"I don't think so."

Ron crawled over the table and was straddling Hermione before she had time to reply. His lips were upon hers and his hands were feisty as they roamed her body.

"Ron…" Hermione pulled as far back as she could against the chaise. "Not now."

Ron mumbled something unintelligible as he nibbled at her neck; his hand roaming further down her body. Hermione's eyes fluttered shut and she gave into the feral desire of Ron's touch. Ron's shirt joined hers in the pile of forgotten clothing. Hermione worked quickly at his belt, his zipper, reaching into his pants. Ron moaned as Hermione's hand made contact with his arousal.

"Dear God! Must you two play strip chess in the living room! ?" Harry's voice stirred the lovers out of their lust hazed trance.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Every time you two play you hump like rabbits after."

"What are you doing here?" Ron asked, ignoring the fact that Hermione's hand was down his pants and she was mostly naked beneath him.

"I live here."

"I mean, you're back quickly."

"I've been gone almost two hours." Harry said with a shake of his head, "Anyway, I'm going to go and not watch you two copulate on the new furniture."

"We're almost done." Ron smirked, kissing Hermione's neck as she pushed him away.

"I'm going to make dinner. Are you two going to eat or are you skipping to desert?" Harry smirked as he turned away toward the kitchen.

"Harry!" Hermione called indignantly after him.

She heard him chuckling around the corner.

"We're done now." She said to Ron.

"I'm not." He said, indicating his unfinished problem in his pants.

Hermione smirked and gave one final push and Ron fell out of the lounger. "Later. I promise you will have so much fun you'll forget your name." she whispered.

She grabbed her shirt and skirt, pulling them on quickly and ran to the kitchen before Ron could stop her.

"You know it's not really fair!" Harry said as Ron and Hermione joined him in the kitchen. "If I were doing things all about the house with Ginny, Ron would have my head."

"That's because she's my sister." Ron said matter-of-factly.

"Still. We're all living together, it's only fair."

"Point taken."

Harry was smirking, "Where is Ginny anyway? I was hoping she could help me with my carrot."

"Harry!" Ron shouted picking up on the innuendo.

"I meant the carrots. For dinner." Harry laughed.

"You're disgusting Harry." Hermione grinned.

"Oh and getting your body juice all over the couch is okay." Harry rolled his eyes.

"Like you haven't." Hermione muttered.

"You've had sex with my sister?" Ron asked choking on the carrot slice he'd swiped from the counter.

"Of course he has Ronald, don't be a prat."

"Hermione." Harry hissed.

"I'm done talking about this." Ron said to Harry and Hermione's identical eye roll.

"So what has Ron got you doing this time Hermione?" Harry asked, starting on peeling the potatoes by hand. He always liked to cook the Muggle way, unless he was in a real hurry.

At the silence that greeted him he explained, "The chess game, usually there are stakes."

"Oh! I won!" Hermione said proudly.

Harry nearly cut his finger. "You won?"

"Truth be told it was a complete accident." Hermione admitted.

"Oh I hope you made it a good one." Harry said.

"Oi, you're supposed to be my best mate!" Ron said.

"Yes, and I am. But Hermione never wins."

"She wants me to streak at the Christmas party tonight."

Harry burst out laughing.

"My family's going to be there! The Minister of Magic! All the other Auror's!"

Harry was still laughing. "Nothing your family hasn't seen. And Kingsley will probably have a laugh at it."

Ron narrowed his eyes at Harry.

"It will be a fun challenge." Hermione said encouragingly.

"As fun as the 'five minutes countdown challenge'?" Harry asked.

"Or the 'no noise' challenge? Which you failed at Ron." Ginny smiled from the doorway.

"Hey Gin." Harry smiled.


"Well it wasn't me that was being challenged to be quiet was it?" Ron said sarcastically.

Ginny made a face at him and kissed Harry on the cheek. "What are you making boyfriend of mine?"

"Thought I'd make some chicken, potatoes and carrots. We're going to need heavy foods if we're going to go out drinking."

"I'm going to have to get wasted if I'm going to streak through the Ministry." Ron said with a heavy sigh.

"Can you bread the chicken for me baby?" Harry asked Ginny.

"Sure." She began shuffling about the kitchen as she leant a helping hand.

"Oh darn! I have to go pick up my dress for the party!" Hermione said checking her watch. "I hope Madame Malkin is done tailoring it. I'll be back in an hour or so!"

She kissed Ron quickly on the lips but he pulled her back for a longer more passionate kiss until she had to pry herself away from him. "I'll be back."

"Want to help with dinner?" Ginny asked Ron.

"Nope." Ron smiled. "I can pour some drinks. We can get started early."

Harry shook his head slightly with a smile. "If you must."

Ron came back a few minutes later with two drinks and handed one to Harry. Harry downed the shot and felt his throat burn at the liquid.

"Dear God Ron what is that?"

"I blended some things together." Ron shrugged.

"And my drink would be where?" Ginny asked.

"I'm not giving a drink to my little sister." Ron said as though it were obvious.

"Oh honestly Ron I'm only a year younger." Ginny said with an eye roll.

Ron didn't bother responding.

"Oh Harry we better get this cooked. We're going to have to eat quickly if we're going to have time to get ready for the party." Ginny said as the clock chimed six.

"Gin, the party's at eight. How much time do you need?"

"Don't ask." Ron said quickly. "She might be able to hold her own in a fight but when it comes to pretty dresses she's just as bad as any girl."

Ginny scowled. "I am not! Hermione takes way longer than I do."

"Only when she tries to tame her hair." Harry commented.

"Which I don't know why she bothers. She's gorgeous." Ron added.

"You might want to let her hear that now and again." Ginny said offhandedly.

"Believe me, the way they behave when they think they're alone. It's sickening." Harry assured her.

"Well if we didn't live in a house full of creepers –"

"Are you saying you'd like to move out Ron?" Harry asked, his voice feigning hurt.

"No. I just – "

"Want to have sex wherever you please?" Ginny filled in.

"If only life were so blessed." Harry said with an overdramatic sigh.

"You're both ridiculous." Ron said, grabbing Harry's empty drink and heading for refills.

Hermione came bustling in the door, her garment bag crinkling.

"That didn't take long." Ginny said.

"No! Thank goodness. Madame Malkin had it all ready to go!"

"Drink Hermione?" Ron asked coming back into the kitchen with four glasses in his hands.

"Thank you." Ginny said taking one.

"Yea, yea."

"Starting a bit early aren't we? You do realize you're going to be drinking all night." Hermione said before downing the drink. "Oh dear goodness what is that?"

"Homemade blend." Harry said airily as he fought not to cough.

"I like it." Ginny said, seemingly un-phased.

"Weasley's." Harry and Hermione said together then laughed.

"Alright, dinner will be ready in about forty five minutes." Harry said, closing the oven door and setting the timer.

"Plenty of time of me to shower. Then I can just get dressed after dinner." Ginny said.

"I'll come too." Harry said with a wry smirk.

"You will not." Ron interjected.

"He will too." Ginny laughed, pulling Harry along by the hand.

"I need another drink."

"Oh honestly Ronald." Hermione pushed gently at his chest in admonishment.

"Come here." he grabbed Hermione, pulling her in for a long and lingering kiss. The effects of the few shots he'd had were already taking effect and he was feeling rather frisky.

"Ron, not now. I already promised after the party I'm all yours." Hermione said, trying to move away but only backing into the table instead.

"Hermione, you know as well as I do I'll have whiskey dick later. It has to be now."

Hermione dug her hands roughly into Ron's hair as his lips found her neck; he kissed her roughly his hands gripping her hips almost violently as he lifted her onto the table. Hermione moaned at the aggression, she was unbuttoning his jeans almost instantly. Ron pushed her down flat on the table, removing her of her under garment.

"I love skirts." He said appreciatively as leant down to kiss Hermione's thighs.

Hermione squirmed in anticipation but when she thought his lips would touch her aching need he backed away and pulled her into a sitting position. His lips were on hers in a furious kiss before she could complain. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist instinctively. Ron turned and shoved her hard against the door frame. Hermione felt the sting of her shoulder blades knocking into the wood; the pain was thrilling.

Ron entered her swiftly, well-practiced in the art of the quickie. Hermione felt her muscles tighten around his cock. They fit perfectly together. Her tight need coiled around him as he pushed in and out of her faster, harder. Hermione's back bruised against the wall as he pounded her carelessly. Her legs tightened around him, her nails digging into his shoulder; desperate for release.

Ron panted, close to completion, he reached between them, rubbing Hermione's swollen clit and she felt her release spill over. With a shudder and a moan she came, her muscles sucking Ron, his cock twitched and he came after a few more thrusts, his knees shaking.

Hermione allowed her legs to drop to the ground, continuing to lean against the wall for support. Ron put his hand on the side of Hermione's head, breathing heavily. He kissed her neck, breathing in her scent.

"I love you so fucking much." He said bringing his eyes to look into hers.

She put a hand to his cheek lovingly. "I love you Ronald."

He kissed her, the word passionately not being strong enough to explain the way their lips moved together in harmony and need. Hermione reluctantly broke the kiss, smiling contentedly.

"I need to clean up before dinner." She said.

"Care if I join you?" he smirked.

Hermione laughed, shimmying away from the wall and out of his reach, she picked up the discarded clothing. "You have to catch me first."

Hermione ran past Harry and Ginny on the second floor landing as Ron came chasing after her. "Hey." He said casually as he chased Hermione into their shared bathroom.

"Think they'll be done by dinner?" Ginny asked.

"Hmm, sex or food? Ron's going to have to make a tough decision."


The Christmas party was actually quite well attended. It was even rumored that a few foreign Ministers were in attendance though no one had actually seen them. Ron paced back and forth near the bar, he didn't know how many shots he had had but he was still nervous so it wasn't enough.

"Ronald, you're going to get alcohol poisoning if you keep putting them back like that." Hermione said, sipping her wine.

Ron glared at her, "You know you don't have to make me do this."

Hermione shrugged.

Harry and Ginny came back from a dance and grabbed some drinks.

"Still haven't done it then?" Harry asked, swigging his beer.

Ron spared a glare for him too.

"He's nervous."

"You'd think the alcohol would have loosened him up by now." Ginny said.

"You would think." Ron bit out sarcastically.

Hermione tried to hide her smile but failed as she giggled.

"Why are you laughing?" Ron asked.

"You're just impossibly cute."

Ron blushed and a smile crept up to his lips despite himself. He took another shot of fire whiskey. "Okay." He said, stretching his limbs like a marathon runner. "Here I go."

Hermione was suddenly anxious. She honestly didn't think he would do it. She had only said it as more of a laugh than a real dare. The plan was Ron would go into the bathroom and then come out naked as the day he was born and run across the ballroom, through the lobby and to his office where a fresh change of clothes was waiting for him.

"You don't have to do this." Hermione said, suddenly very concerned.

"No, no. I don't back down from a challenge."

"But Ron, it is kind of ridiculous." She admitted.

"Nope. It's happening Hermione."

He grabbed her face in both of his hands and kissed her roughly. "Here I go."

Hermione watched him walk into the bathroom.

"Oh no." she breathed.

"I wish I had a camera." Harry said chuckling.

"This was a bad idea." Hermione said.

"I think it will be hilarious." Ginny added, barely suppressing a smile.

The bathroom door opened and Ron was standing there, naked as could be. "Oh God he's really doing it."

"Happy Christmassss!" he screamed as he ran straight through the ballroom toward his office.

"Oh god."

Ginny was near tears as she laughed, Harry was holding back his laughter as best as he could until he too was unable to control and sniggered into his beer.


Hermione turned to see Arthur Weasley, "Hello Arthur."

"Was that my son?"

Hermione nodded solemnly.

"Huh. I might've expected it from George but Ron… huh."

"Why is one of my best Auror's running naked through the party?" Kingsley asked, joining Arthur.

"Oh, you know…" Hermione trailed off lamely.

"It's always the brilliant ones."


AN: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this completely random and nonsensical excuse for me to write strip chess and sex xD lots of love