Disclaimer: iCarly and all the characters/settings in the iCarly universe belong to Dan Schneider.
Warning: Rated M for mature audiences. Adult themes and slight language.
A picturesque scene: Aquatic blue waves wash towards the grainy shore under the blazing rays of the sun. The faint scent of something lost long ago weaves around the trailing footprints in the coarse sand. A gust of wind rolls by accompanied with the salty taste of beach air as a feeling of strong desire hits the coast. Indistinct whispers of memories just out of reach settle in the clear water.
The setting changes and the sunny beach and the gentle ripple of the lake are gone. It fades to black and white, but even without the silvery iridescent lining of the moon high in the sky, it's clear that it's midnight. Muffled clacks of someone's combat boots penetrate the otherwise silent night. A dull odor wafts around the paved road, strongly reminiscent of something unforgivable. The trembling moonlight pauses as the figure with the combat boots comes to a still as well. The streetlamp is dim without its usual bright color and illuminates around her on the empty, empty street laid before it. She exhales and flicks the ash off her left hand, her right is poised with a cigarette. With the darkness looming over, her face is masked, but the outlines of her dark dress can still be seen streaming with the tender night winds. The cigarette drops to the ground, the dying embers signaling a warning.
And then you feel it. Starting from the three slashes across your forearm. It goes straight to your heart and then to your head. You clutch your chest feeling the pain, but you don't know where it comes from. You imagine it comes from somewhere within. An untouchable place that was once filled with light, but the dark extinguished it and now the dead silence of the void screams as it spreads to further places. You can still hear the breathlessness of her voice with her usual cool edge. The echoing farewells from your dream caress your emptiness. A trace of wetness slides down your cheek. The only sound in the room is of your feeble exhales.
And then you know it's over.
Carly sat down in the middle of the school cafeteria with a few other girls from various grades. She flipped her hair as she animatedly chatted with them about their impending plans for the afternoon. There was a vague sensation to her of being watched, but she dismissed it, even though she knew who it was.
Sam (Imaginary Setting)
You watch her from the corner of the dingy bar. She's wearing that red top with the white lace across her chest matched with faded blue jeans. You hazily realize that the bartender is handing you a drink, but your sole focus is the girl over there. She moves and you watch her tongue dart out to lick the corner of her mouth as she talks with her friends, but they are irrelevant to you and you can only make out their shadowy silhouettes. You can't hear what she says over the constant chatter of the surrounding bar patrons. Not even conscious of your own body, you walk towards her, dodging around the rest of the people.
"Do you want to get out of here?"
Carly looked up in surprise to see an all too familiar face hovering above her own. The lunch table went strangely, almost comically, silent.
"Sam, what are you doing?"
The blonde girl paused and repeated herself, "Do you want to get out of here?"
For a few moments it seemed that Carly was about to decline, but then she stood up and led the other girl out the doors of the cafeteria.
"You're not feeling well, Sam. I'll take you to the nurse."
Sam (Imaginary Setting)
You let her lead you out the bar and although her tone is stern, the comforting warmth of her hand in your's tells you it's alright. It's dark out and you're instantly reminded of your dream. As you walk down the grimy, unkempt alley you can't help but look at the waves of her luscious brown hair. For a moment there is a tremendous urge to reach and feel the smooth locks slide through your fingers, but it passes quickly. Once the two of you reach the street, you turn and cannot help but embrace her and let her familiar lilac scent wash over you. But she pushes away and gives you a calculating look.
"Are you drunk?"
You shake your head although you can still taste the bitter alcohol mixed with disappointment on your tongue. She clearly disapproves, but you can't bring yourself to care. Instead of leaning forward to touch your foreheads together as you used to, you sink down to the cold concrete. The burning of her gaze on you makes you squirm. Then she lowers herself down to the ground so that she is level with you. She sighs heavily and you feel it on your skin.
"Sam, you got drunk while at school?" Carly's voice was nearing impatient.
Clearly it had no effect on the dazed Sam, "What happened, Carls?"
Sam (Imaginary Setting)
"What do you mean?" You notice her light exhale create a small cloud of smoke in the chilly night air.
"What happened to us?"
She looks at you with a softer look in her warm caramel eyes. Then she shakes her head and touches your wrist and then her fingertips slide down brushing over the back of your hand. A slight shiver runs down your arm and you grasp her hand tightly as if clutching at an illusion, just so you never have to return to reality.
"It just can never be", she says, but you know what she's feeling because you feel it as well. The wanting. The needing. But both feelings are dwarfed by the overwhelming reluctance and fear you've grown to know so well.
You're reminded of the pain, so you lean closer to her and feel her lips ghost over your own. An unbearable ache fills you, so you close the distance. A muted sigh falls from her and you lean even closer. But it stops when she places her hand right on your collarbone and restrains you.
And then you remember that it's all over.
"I'm worried about you, Carly", Freddie whispered to Carly in History. However, she was so lost in thought she didn't even notice him, much less his concerned words.
She was startled out of her reverie when the teacher directly addressed her, "Miss Shay?"
The rest of the class laughed at her being caught unaware. The History teacher repeated the question, "What three main things contributed to the end of the Vietnam War?"
"I...don't know", Carly stuttered. Freddie rubbed his forehead with his eyes closed.
"Perhaps if you listen and take notes next time, you will know. Now, does anyone else know the answer?"
You trace the patterns on your arm. Scars of pain. Scars of love. Scars of remembrance. Scars of forgetting.
And you think back to when things were still right. When you held her and she held you back.
"Why did you break up with Sam?"
Startled, Carly turned to Freddie and hissed, "How did you know we were even together?"
"It was a bit obvious to someone who spends nearly all his time around you two", Freddie gave her a skeptical look, "I had a feeling that you guys probably wanted to keep it a secret, so I didn't say anything."
Not knowing what to say, Carly bit her lip. Finally she managed something, "I had to. My dad..."
"What, your dad wouldn't like it?"
"It's not that...it's his career that would be on the line and I can't do that to him. He's already lost Mom."
How would you describe her? You think of a canvas of the most vibrant colors and free designs. You take out a thin brush and sweep your arm in an imperfect arc to make a shaky horizon. Then you begin to draw lilacs and you wish you were smelling her, and not the foul stench of drying paint. The drops of light purple on your easel remind you of what you've lost. So you paint around the drops with a heavy grey, knowing it matches the gap in your heart.
"How did it happen?"
Carly's slight frown was almost unnoticeable, "What do you mean?"
"How did your relationship start?"
Her expression eased up a bit, "There wasn't a beginning, it just was what we probably had felt all along. I think I knew from early on how much she really means to me, but I just didn't know what to do with that information."
Your painting doesn't turn out quite the way you want, but the dreariness is a sort of company to your loneliness, so you keep it. As you sit down on the stained carpet of your cramped room, you wonder when you turned out to be such a pathetic excuse for a Puckett. There's an anger and resentment that you feel deep down in your gut, but you know it's not directed at Carly as those feelings were rarely ever directed at her. You're angry at yourself for screwing up the best thing that ever happened to you. You resent that it's always been this way.
So instead, you focus on the distant, but good memories of Carly and you. The word memories makes you recall the fact that it's all over. You push the rage down again and try to relive the past. But there are so many moments that you remember and you don't want to choose just one, so you think of them all.
A year ago...
"There's a new movie out today, Carls", Sam called down the staircase in the Shay's apartment, "You're coming with me!"
"I don't get a say?" Carly teased back as she sprinted up the stairs towards the blonde as the other girl walked down. They met halfway and entwined their hands in mid-air.
"Will you go with me to watch Fuzzy Smither and the Tombs of Mystery?" Sam asked as she pulled the brunette closer. As their faces nearly met, she grinned that simple irresistible smile.
Carly's eyes trained in on her lips and whispered, "Only if you say please."
Sam's grin never left her face as she pulled Carly in for a tentative kiss. Instinctively, Carly's hands came up to cup Sam's face. But the blonde pulled away with a mischievous look on her features.
"Is that good enough?"
The webshow host giggled, "Fine. But I think you should kiss me again just to make sure."
So she did.
Color me blue, I'm lost in you. Don't know why I'm still waiting. Many moons have come and gone. Don't know why I'm still searching.*
Carly stood outside Ridgeway High School waiting for her ride to arrive and take her home. The rest of the students had already cleared off the campus and it was just a few stragglers here and there. A girl with a black hoodie and ripped denim jeans walked by slouched over with a lit cigarette in her mouth.
Despite her misgivings about accosting random strangers, Carly tapped the girl on the shoulder and informed her, "There's no smoking on campus, you might want to put that out before the principal or a teacher sees."
"I know, Shay", the girl turned to face her with a nonchalant shrug.
"Oh", Carly was taken aback, "Sam."
An awkward silence passed between them before Sam began to cough from the smoke. Carly reached up and snatched the offending cigarette from her and snapped, "You shouldn't be smoking, it will kill you."
"No, but not being with you will kill me", the blonde looked up with her sharp blue eyes.
"Don't say that, please", the other girl shifted uncomfortably as she ground the cigarette into the ground, "It scares me."
Sam gave a short scornful bark of laughter, "Do you know what I think of all day? Every single day?"
Carly bit her lip and didn't answer the rhetorical question.
"I think of you", Sam's sapphire eyes sparked, "I recall the way your arms feel around me, the way you smell like lilacs blooming in mid-spring. When I'm just sitting at lunch with every intention to think of ham, all I can think of is your taste and how much I miss it. People talk to me, but I just hear your voice echoing around my head. And every night I dream of your face, and your body, and all of you."
"Don't you remember? We promised that we'd give each other everything, always and forever! Did you forget?"
The brunette closed her eyes and whispered, "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't really understand the concept of forever then. But please, you need to understand my position. I'm sorry, Sam, I really am."
She began to walk away, but was stopped abruptly as Sam caught her sleeve and asked, "What is it you want me to do then? Because I'll do anything, Carly. Anything."
"No, Sam, there's nothing either of us can do."
"Do you want me to beg, is that it?" Sam kneeled down on the sidewalk still clutching Carly's sleeve and said, "Then I will. I'm begging you, Carly, please."
Surveying her closely, Carly kneeled down on the sidewalk and faced her, "Sam, listen to me. Our whole life we've heard about a kind of love with someone perfect. So we're all searching for someone who will make our heart tighten with anticipation when we hear their voice. Someone who makes us jump up and run to the door when we hear their key scraping against the lock."
Carly laughed bitterly as a few treacherous tears escaped her reddening eyes, "And for me, that someone is you, Sam. I will never love anyone else in that way. You know that and I know that. And I will die knowing that."
Her best friend clutched at her sleeve still, twisting the fabric with her clawed fingers, matching tears streaming down her cheeks. A sad sigh was emitted from Carly's lips as she murmured, "But it just won't work out. There's so much in this world against us. I'm sorry."
A honk interrupted their conversation and Carly looked up to see her friends parked across the street waiting for you. With one last glance at Sam, she rose to her feet, wiped her tears away and tore across the street.
A few months ago...
Blonde curls mixed with shimmery brown locks in the afternoon sun as the two girls lay on Carly's bed locked in a loose hug. Sam's fingers were entangled in the other girl's hair, tenderly stroking through the small knots.
"You look amazing", Sam's voice was breathy and so sincere. Carly glanced down at her and smiled. The two of them just lay there enjoying each other's company.
"Sam", for some reason Carly sounded hesitant.
After a moments silence, Sam brushed her fingers over the brunette's temple to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her hair, "Yes?"
"I want you", was the quiet statement from her, "Forever."
"You have me forever then."
Carly sat up abruptly and swallowed thickly, "I want all of you."
"What do you mean?"
"I...", she bit her lip, unsure of how to continue, "I want..."
Her left hand had been idly tracing designs on Sam's stomach, but now she flattened her palm and smoothed out the lines of Sam's shirt. As her hand moved down to lower regions, the other girl's breath hitched and Carly whispered, "...all of you."
Sam pulled her down by the collar of her loose fitting shirt for a rough kiss and between short gasps of breath, Carly managed to say, "I want you to be my first."
The blonde laughed under her breath and pushed Carly onto her back so that their positions were now reversed. While biting and sucking the younger girl's neck, Sam said in a muffled whisper, "I want you to be my only."
Their lips came together again with a fervor of a last kiss. As Sam moved on top of Carly, the brunette's hand wound around her waist tightly as if to make sure she wouldn't run away. Carly whimpered softly against Sam's lips as her best friend tugged her shirt off impatiently. Sam began to work on Carly's stubborn belt buckle, but the other girl pulled at the ribbon tying Sam's jacket together and the blonde ended up pitching forward to meet Carly's lips once again.
The rest of their clothing was quickly disposed of and as they began to move against each other an assortment of groans and breathy moans were elicited. Sam's tongue glided along Carly's body exploring every contour it could find while her hands mapped out the rest as if memorizing each curve and imperfection.
As they got lost in the throes of passion their moans quickly became pleas and promises. The sound of each other's names falling off the other's lips only added fuel to the fire. In a fury of tangled limbs they came together.
In the aftermath, as they were catching their breaths, Sam whispered, "I wish every day was as perfect as this one."
"There has to be a contrast", Carly murmured back, "Sad days to make the good ones that much better."
The world was on fire and no one would save me but you. I never dreamed I'd meet somebody like you. I never dreamed I'd lose somebody like you.**
Enter Carly Shay - 17, chestnut brown hair, toffee-colored eyes, 5'6, 116 pounds. Family Members: Older brother, Father, Deceased Mother, Paternal Grandparents, Deceased Maternal Grandparents. Close friends: Samantha Puckett, Freddie Benson, Gibby Gibson, Missy Robinson (former).
What's happened? [pause] We'll be right there! SPENCER, get the car!
A month ago...
The front door of the Shay's apartment banged open and was then promptly slammed shut once again.
Carly raced across the kitchen to the living room to greet the person who had just entered. She barreled into her blonde best friend's arms and the two went tumbling into the couch. The two of them lay on the couch, Carly on top of Sam, her smile showing a none too subtle excitement.
"I take it you missed me", Sam laughed at her enthusiasm. However any other clever comments were hindered by the descent of Carly's mouth onto Sam's. The blonde's hand wrapped around her friend's back to pull her closer as Carly rested her arms on either side of Sam's head.
Carly suddenly broke the kiss and whispered, "Today was so terrible."
"What happened, Carls?"
When there was no response, Sam encouraged her with a small peck to the lips again, "It's okay, you can tell me anything."
"I know", was the immediate answer. Then after a few moments, "Someone was making fun of iCarly and called me stuck up."
Sam sat up with her friend in her lap now, "Who?"
"It doesn't matter."
Sam reached up and brushed the brunette's face gently, but Carly wasn't quite finished, "She...she also grabbed my arm and twisted it."
"What?" Tugging Carly's left sleeve up, Sam noticed finger shaped bruises along her forearm. With a notable amount of anger in her voice, Sam demanded, "Who did this, Carly? I will beat the crap out of them, no one messes with my girl."
"No! You'll get arrested or expelled."
"Tell me, Carly."
"If I do, you have to promise you won't hurt her!"
Sam gritted her teeth, "That is one promise I will have to break to you, Shay."
"Sam, I don't want you to do anything, please. I can handle it myself. I just want you to be here for me", Carly said in a pleading tone as she got up off the couch and covered her face with her hands.
"No one has the right to hurt you, Carly! I'll always be here for you, but whoever did this can't get away with it", standing up as well, Sam crossed her arms in displeasure.
"I'll tell Spencer and he'll call the principal. She'll get suspended or something, it's okay, Sam."
But the blonde didn't agree, "That chick needs to understand that anyone who hurts you in any way is going to pay dearly for it. I want her to be so afraid, that the next time you even look in her direction, she'll run away in terror."
As Sam paced about the room, Carly reached for her arm and pulled her back so that their bodies were flush against each other. Carly brushed her lips over Sam's again, although their difference in height meant she was leaning down slightly. The brunette slid her lips across the other girl's chin and then down to her neck, only to pause and suck lightly on a pressure point near her collarbone.
"It's okay, Sam."
"Carly, it's not-"
She emphasized her point by nipping hard at Sam's collarbone, causing an uncharacteristic squeak from the usually tough girl. Laughing slightly, Carly pulled back and looked the blonde straight in the eye.
Your love is mine for the taking. My love is just waiting to turn your tears to roses.***
"Where?" Carly and Spencer arrived at the hospital out of breathe and worried out of their minds.
The nurse stationed at the front desk took in their disheveled appearances and asked, "May I help you?"
"The hospital called us regarding an accident?"
"Spencer and Carly Shay."
"Oh, you're here for the patient in Room 102, your number was the emergency contact number in the wallet found on the patient's body", the nurse elaborated.
Spencer was having a mini meltdown at this point, so Carly took control, though her voice trembled as she asked, "Can you point us in the direction of Room 102?"
After swiftly checking a nearby chart, the nurse answered, "You'll have to wait here in the lobby, the patient is in critical condition and is currently in surgery. I'll update you on the status when I have more information."
A week ago...
"We can't anymore, Sam", Carly whispered, her delicate fingers wrapped loosely around her best friend's wrist.
"We just can't."
Sam began to understand what was happening.
"Please Carly, don't do this."
"I have to", was the soft answer.
The blonde's heart clenched painfully, "Why?"
Sam's voice broke, "To hell with your father!"
The two best friends sat in silence for awhile. Finally the blonde nervously ground out, "What about your father?"
"You know that...he's a Colonel in the Air Force", Carly paused, "He's under scrutiny a lot."
Another pause. "There are already a lot of people who suspect apparently...but if people found out that we're something more than best friends it would kill his career", she finished in a low undertone.
"So you're choosing your dad's career over the two of us?" Sam's voice escalated with her hysteria. After another moment, "We can't even be friends anymore?"
Carly's guilty expression seemed to answer it for both of them. Throwing her hands up in exasperation, Sam sneered and began to saunter out the Shay's apartment. Suddenly she felt Carly's hand snake around her arm and pull her back. Sam could have easily thrown the brunette off, but the feel of the smooth bare skin against her own gave her an undeniable pleasure.
"I can't sit next to you, smiling and nodding, knowing that I am the one causing you to be in pain."
"Then don't do this."
Looking down, she whispered, "It's done."
With that, Sam stormed out, but not without a sad glance back at Carly as she disappeared out the door.
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.^
You clutch at the sheets of your bed, pushing down the memories of the two of you laughing, crying, hugging, kissing, fucking on those very sheets. It begins to hurt again and you feel the numb ache across your limbs and torso. You don't notice that you're padding out of your room with muted footsteps into the deserted kitchen. Somewhere within your mind, you note that your mother isn't home, but in all honesty you don't care.
Pulling open a drawer, you touch the collection of knives inside as the scent of tangy metal hits your nostrils and you pick the usual. You're not sure how it started or why, but you take the smallest steak knife out and raise it against your arm. All you can focus on is your pain and you think maybe if you feel the sharp reality of the knife's edge it'll take away your loss.
As always the steak knife does not cut, but instead drags across your arm. It is not a clean cut, instead you have deep ridges in your arm and so you double back and drag it across the same place again. Then again. And again. Droplets of crimson gather at the edges of the openings and you reckon you can taste the coppery blood.
The bright red is like a flag waving you down telling you once again that it's all over.
Carly, Freddie and Gibby stood in the iCarly studio filming the latest episode. The glaringly obvious was the missing presence of Sam.
"And that's it for today", Gibby cheered still in his pink tutu.
Suddenly, Carly stepped in front of the camera with an unusually somber expression and hesitantly said, "Actually, that's it for iCarly. I'm sorry to do this to you all, but it must be done. This is the last episode of iCarly. I'm sorry."
Freddie and Gibby were shocked and couldn't do anything but gape at her.
"Thank you all for being the most loyal fans any girl could wish for", Carly continued, "I'm so very sorry. Farewell iCarly viewers."
Standing on my own. Forget about the life I used to know.^^
You watch the last episode in your documented life. iCarly.
"I'm so very sorry. Farewell iCarly viewers."
Nausea tears through your body and before you know what's happening, you're vomiting into a sink. The taste of bile in the back of your throat and the smell of thrown up food is disgusting and you begin to sob. Your cries echo off the bathroom tiles all around you and the unforgiving chill of the ground underneath reminds you of where you are. Vaguely you wonder how you got there. But more importantly you can only think of her.
You walk out your apartment and down the street watching the cars zoom by, the automobiles little more than blurs racing towards the end. The night's chilly air bites at you all over. Suddenly there's a strong impulse to just run out into the middle of the chaos of traffic and just be glad that you'll finally have closure. You take a step and then another towards the oncoming lights. And in a way, it is all over.
A terrified sob was ripped from Carly's throat after the nurse informed them that the patient had died in surgery.
"How did this happen? This wasn't supposed to happen!"
Carly sprinted towards the hospital doors and headed straight out. Her brother simply stood, rooted to the spot, in a whirlwind of confusion and sorrow.
She ran down the street tears cascading down her face and flying through the air. The sight of her running down the street as if for her life drew some attention, but the passerby's ignored it for the most part.
It was late - very late - when Carly arrived at her apartment building, but she couldn't bring herself to get off the elevator and instead let it take her to the roof. She watched the lights of the floor numbers light up one by one until the letter "R". She stepped out of the elevator and up the staircase to the roof. She stood on the roof looking at the city lights down below with a sense of being torn apart. Then in a moment of unadulterated despair (or perhaps clarity) she ran towards the ledge at full speed.
A few months ago...
Carly and Sam lay peacefully in bed after a long day of school and iCarly.
"Sam", the brunette whispered, "Can you promise me something?"
"Promise that you'll never leave me."
The blonde chuckled and said, "I never planned on it and never will. I promise you, Carly Shay, that I will never ever leave you. I will always be here for you whether you like it or not."
We are not to blame for seeing love is pain. We are not ashamed to say that love is pain.^^^
Setting: Bushwell Plaza. Time: 11:45 PM.
[Carly running towards the edge of the building]
Carly Shay - 17, chestnut brown hair, toffee-colored eyes, 5'6, 116 pounds. Close friends: Samantha Puckett, Freddie Benson, Gibby Gibson, Missy Robinson (former).
Family Members: Older brother, Deceased Mother...
Just as Carly was about to hurtle off the edge of the building, she hazily saw a dark figure charging towards her from the side and was caught off guard as it crashed into her. The two of them went flying and landed heavily on the roof, away from the ledge.
"What were you doing, Carly?"
Carly looked up at the hunched posture of a hysterical Sam who had tears running down her face freely.
"If anyone should be running off this building right now, it should be me", the blonde sank to the ground her knees drawn together. "Do you know how much I wanted to end it all? But I remembered my promise to you, so here I am. Why would you do that, Carly? Why?"
The brunette's tears were still streaking down her cheeks as she whispered, "My dad...he was surprising us with a visit."
Her sentences came out in pauses once again as if it was hurting her so much to say the words, "He was taking a taxi home and they were on the highway...there was a semi coming down the other side of the road."
"It swerved and hit the taxi and three other cars", she had Sam's full attention now. Sam slowly crawled over and cautiously put her arm around Carly's shoulders, pulling her into a half embrace.
"He didn't make it through surgery", Carly's voice quivered with the effort to say the words out loud.
"Oh Carls", Sam's voice was thick with apologies as she pulled Carly into a tight hug, "I'm so sorry, Cupcake."
A long pause ensued, before Carly choked out between tears, "I've lost them both."
The gentle night breeze deceives you into a calmer lull and the taste of your acidic tears stain your tongue. The twinkling stars in the skies watch over the two of you entangled as the sound of your shallow breathes reverberate around you. Your nose nudges against her shoulder as you inhale her scent completely.
You hold her tightly not knowing the words that will make it all better. So you look at her through your eyelashes. Then you press your lips to hers hoping it will communicate what you cannot.
She pulls back and whispers, "I love you, Sam."
Your heart jolts at the words and you feel the electricity of it travel to your very fingertips as you whisper your declaration of love back like it's a mantra.
"I love you, Carly. I love you. I love you. I love you..."
Her mouth presses against your's again stemming the words and she mumbles against your lips, "Forever."
You both hold on tightly like the only thing anchoring the two of you to the earth is each other. And she repeats it, as if in confirmation, "I love you, Sam."
The sirens in the background are like one last reminder that it's all over.
But, you think, maybe it's really just begun.
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly. †
A/N: This is my first story on FF, so thanks for reading. I was using the idea of strongly incorporating the five senses into a short piece of writing and this was the result.
Reviews would be strongly appreciated as feedback always helps a writer shape his or her writing and hone his/her skills. (In that line of thought, criticisms are more than welcome.) If you have any questions or comments, feel free to PM me as well.
Thanks once again.
* Who Am I To Say - Hope
** Wicked Game - Chris Isaaks
*** Whispers in the Dark - Skillet
^ Someone Like You - Adele
^^ On My Own - Three Days Grace
^^^ Love is Pain - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Disclaimer: Each quote belongs to its respective owner.