Twelve notebooks are found in the boot of a Ford Merkur pulled out of Long Island Sound, sealed in a tin which is welded shut. With no evidence of foul play they are officially a dead end, a 'cold case'.

Prof. Emil Dunsany, of Miskatonic University and Lt Juliet Swain, Tempest Police Department, are unconvinced and fear for the safety of the two young women who have written them, Ash and Emily. In a last ditch attempt to re-open the case, they dig the files out of the Police Department's vaults. They should never have been classed as a closed case. They were ...

The Misfiled Diaries
Book 1

Misfile Fan Fiction Written By
Igor von Xten

This is a fan produced work based on


a web comic written by Chris Hazelton and updated daily

The copyrights & trademarks of Misfile are owned by Chris Hazelton.
Any attempt to sell or rent this work should be reported to the copyright owner for his action.
The author reserves the moral right to be identified as the creator of original material.

Talk about this series on the Misfile FFN forum

First edition 28/09/10 - Napalmluck
Second edition 17/11/11 -


Misfile is a web comic by Chris Hazelton, released daily, about a girl who loses two crucial years out of her life, a boy turned into a girl and the drunken, pot smoking angel who is responsible for it all. Its cute, its good fun and... it got me thinking. Chris has done a great job of showing the drama of growing up but I thought there was a lot that could be said, that the characters would say, if only to themselves like, maybe... in their diaries?

I get pretty deep at times because I want you to question yourselves as well, you might be surprised at the answers!

I'll be the first to admit that with everything that was going on in their lives, writing it down into a diary would be pretty low in their priorities, but we are talking about fantasy here so cut me some slack, ok?

This is a fan fiction series made up of "flash fiction" of between the episodes type pieces. I'm Australian so I write in the Queen's English - get used to it, it's me – but my characters are American so I've tried valiantly to keep what they say and how they say it as close to canon as I can. If I've broken canon it has been over points that I don't believe make a major difference, such as whether they are playing volleyball and not basketball.

I've added a little to the canon, but always tried to keep faith with the characters. Ash acts so much like a guy's guy that there has to be a story behind it, and I truly believe that Emily has much more to give than we see in the web comic.

But that is the nature of fan fiction, isn't it? Trying to recapture the essence of what we like about something? Create a resonance with the original rather than a copy.

No, I won't be giving every page of Misfile the same treatment but there's still a lot more fun to be had with this. If you think its fun, follow the comics and buy the books – its Print On Demand so the writer gets a bigger slice of your book-buying buck! (Say that three times fast!)


Lt Juliet M. Swain, Tempest P.D.

The attached are extracts from twelve notebooks found in the boot of a Ford Merkur which was pulled out of Long Island Sound in July, 2009. The car was discovered by sports divers at the base of a 50 foot bluff on a lonely section of the coastline and forensic investigations show that it had been in the water between four to five years. It was heavily damaged from a side impact that had all but torn it in two, exposing the interior. The damage was consistent with the Merkur failing to take a curve at speed, on Interstate 95 where it ran along the top of the bluff, and then hitting rocks on the way down.

The notebooks, of varying types and makes, were in a tin which seemed to have arc welded shut and was in a duffel bag along with a number of items of men's clothing including a T-shirt with "Have a Day" printed on it.

No human remains were found in the car, but the exposure of the car's interior and the prevailing currents would have quickly swept any occupants away from the crash scene.

The car was registered to a Miss Ashley Upton and initial inquiries came to a dead end when it was found that she had moved out of town about the time the car must have crashed after a minor, unspecified scandal. The two Canadian brothers mentioned in the notebooks, Rumisiel and Vashiel and a friend, Miss Emily Macarthur disappeared at the same time.

Miss Macarthur's mother and Miss Upton's parents, Dr Edward Upton and Ms Marie Upton of Cape Cod, insist that they are in touch with their daughters, who they say are following the European racing circuit but cannot give a current address, nor have inquiries with Interpol brought anything up.

With no concrete evidence of foul play and inquiries having reached a stalemate after 9 months, this was deemed a cold case in November 2010 and handed over to my department for archiving. I am not convinced that the individuals involved are safe, the reports from Europe could be identity theft, and have taken it upon myself to continue my own investigations.

Upon closer examination, the notebooks contain what appears to be an attempt by the two girls to write a collaborative fantasy fiction although Prof. Emil Dunsany, head of the forensic literature department at Miskatonic University, has said that there is sufficient internal evidence to support a stylistic profile consistent with an occasional diary or journal. His psychological profile of the authors, based on this, is inconclusive, showing them to be at the same time sincere and deeply disturbed.

At Prof. Dunsany's suggestion I have clipped and collated sections of the notebooks for publishing here in my best attempt at chronological order. I hold grave misgivings for the safety of these two young women and I hope that publishing their writings will encourage members of the public to come forward with new information that might shine some light on their ultimate fate.


A World Turned Upside Down


Overnight, my world has been turned upside down.

I went to bed last night over the moon about having been accepted into Harvard. All the hard work and sacrifices had paid off! Goodbye to snobby wanna-be Valley Girls and being labeled a study geek just because I was focused on where I wanted to go and what I wanted to be. The acceptance letter had been proudly propped up on my bedside table as I'd sunk into sleep expecting to dream of sunny quadrangles, preppy friends who knew how to write more than a fan fiction and do more than consumer maths.

This wasn't just any college either, this was the college: Harvard! I'd put nearly as much work into my admission portfolio as I had into my SAT scores! I'd spent two back-breaking years creating a stunning academic record, writing an application essay that could have won a Pulitzer and even faked extracurricular activities I'd had no time for whilst buttering-up the principal to get a letter of recommendation that made me sound like a saint!

Harvard! The gateway to whatever I wanted to do! Law, medicine, science, industry, my scores and subjects were wide spread enough so that I could choose just about any field I wanted, any career that took my fancy!

And here I am now, scribbling in my study diary, huddled in a stranger's driveway, because it's all gone.

All. Gone.

Unless I do it all over again.

It's too much to ask. Just thinking about it has me sobbing like a.. like a sixteen year old. I know I can do it, but knowing what I have to do to achieve it again is... it's asking too much! I've paid my dues! I've done my time! I should be looking forward to winding up my courses, graduation celebrations and vacation... not another two years of Hell!

My Mom's chewed me out tonight because, to her, this is just the start of the big uphill grind and she expects to see me do exactly what I did do two years ago: give up my weekend - my life - to study!

The sad thing is that Mom doesn't realize that I got myself into Harvard, not because of her pushing but in spite of it! That the only way she helped was by becoming part of the world that I wanted to leave behind.

I couldn't tell her. Because I love my Mom, I couldn't tell her that what she was doing was making me hate her.

All over again.

So I've run away to sit on a stranger's doorstep filling my study diary with secrets I can never tell anyone...

...except a stranger.



The earliest extract is from a comb bound file, hand-written on Letter size pages. No detective work was required to find these since they were not mixed in with anything else. It is surmised that Emily wrote them in the expensive leather study diary that she habitually carried and then bound them in a separate binder as she did with all her school notes. The only form of camouflage the file had was the title on the cover, "English Lit.; Speculative Fiction".

The notebook is easily identified as belonging to Emily Macarthur from fingerprint and handwriting samples although when shown, her mother had no knowledge of it (see appendix 3). Written throughout in her even, clear italic script, it is very organised and neat, totally at odds with the turbulent nature of its content.


Prof. Dunsany

Whilst it is very commendable for Miss Macarthur to be so thorough and organized in her study regime - all her subjects were similarly bound with clear plastic front and back covers - it verges on obsessive compulsive behavior unless balanced by an element of play or recreation. The neatness and orderliness of her study diary and notes seems devoid of human warmth and personalization, reflecting a repressed and tightly controlled personality.