Yamcha Doesn't Know


A/N: Okay I went and did it again. I started another fic. If it makes you feel any better it was writing this fic that got me inspired to do my last two chapter updates on Regrets and An Overdeveloped Sense Of Vengence. This is my B/V get together story as opposed to The Making of Trunks my B/V hookup story. While it is not required to read it for this it might help, or completely confuse you. I wrote The Making of Trunks over ten years ago and is a pretty zany take on how Trunk was concieved written when I was a teenager. Now I'm 30 and you'd think I'd have better things to do than write fanfiction... Shows what you know.

Remember kids! School is a preparation for the rest of your life. Not inasmuch as what you learn, but in getting you used to the idea of getting up and spending most off your day doing something you'd just assume not.

Now that I'm done depressing you, on with the show


Disclaimer: I own two cars, but only one runs. If I owned Dragonball Z I'd definately get the broken one fixed because it is so sweet. It's a cherry '84 Buick LeSabre Custom with a 307 engine that has that muscle car rumble when you start it up. You just wanna go cruising all day, it is so pimp!
As it stands I'm stuck driving my '84 Nissan Maxima. Great on gas mileage, but it looks like a silver turd on wheels. It's all beat up and torn up from the previous owners. I only paid $500 for it so it's worth it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I owned DBZ I have a better car at the very least. I'd probably have my own house too instead of renting a crappy one bedroom apartment. It would so have a pool too. I like swimming pools.


Chapter One: Okay, Nobody Really Knows


It had been six weeks since the "incident," five weeks since he came out of the Gravity Room to find that the woman had gone back with her weakling while he was in seclusion trying to get his head on straight.
He wasn't sure what was worse. Letting her think she'd gotten one over on him, or letting her know that he'd wanted it.
He couldn't deny that he'd wanted her. Who wouldn't? She's gorgeous. He would've taken her a long time ago had it not been for the fact that she had the worst timing imaginable, always trying to catch him after training when he barely has the strength to stand, let alone screw. He would've loved to lap the cream off of her skin that night she had covered herself in that whipped dairy concoction that her mother puts on all her desserts had he the strength to do anything more than make it to his bed.

It had been at least two years prior to his first trip to earth since he'd last had sex. He didn't really remember much of the encounter other than it happened, and it wasn't that good. Kinda like sticking it in a gallon jar of what the humans call mayonaise..., and just as messy. The first thing he did was jump in a regen tank to ward away any illnesses the trollop may well have been carrying.

The woman had gone to great effort to seduce him. At first he'd gone along with it because he honest believed she knew some sort of secret. It hadn't taken long for him figure out what she was trying to do when the clothing started coming off, but at that point he was too intrigued with the idea of what she had in store for him.

Not to mention dealing with over two years worth of blue balls, and had finally been given a situation relieve them when he wasn't on the verge of collapse. It was simple. Play dumb, and get laid. No need for empty promises or pillow talk. No need for foreplay. Just act like you don't know what's going on, and she'll do all the work. It was simple, or at least it had been. She'd gone straight back to her weakling, and all the world was as it should be, right? Wrong. There was a part of his pride that was hurt by the fact that she'd ran so willingly back to that loser, but it wasn't like she could ever hope to be good enough to keep the attention of the Prince of Saiyans.

She must've realized that she could never hope to keep him so she went back to someone who was well within her league if not a little below. Certainly that's what must've happened. So once again all was right with the world until three weeks ago when he started feeling an odd presence around the woman. The following week she started complaining about being late for something, and the next thing he knew his worst fear came to pass. She was pregnant. He kept waiting for her to approach him about being the father. It certainly was a possibility as their two species were compatible, but as far as he knew she had no doubt that the child she carried belonged to that weak, pathetic, unfaithful fool.

For the last 2 weeks the weakling and the woman's relationship cycle seemed to be moving at super speed with them breaking up and getting back together every few days rather than every few months as it had been since he'd taken residence at Capsule Corp. The woman still hadn't spoken to him since the incident, not since she told him that no one could convince her that he wasn't a Super Saiyan. She could stroke his ego almost as well as she could stroke other portions of his anatomy.

He found himself thinking about it more often than he honestly should. He found himself dreaming about it even. While he honestly prefered those dreams to the reoccurring one where he's chasing Kakarot and Future Boy and then has his father remind him of his heritage, he still found it disconcerting that he should be dreaming of the woman in the first place.

"The woman isn't worth this much thought." he said to himself as he finshed yet another extensive kata. He toweled off the extra sweat and walked into the house for lunch. He'd walked about five feet through the door when he saw something coming towards him out of the corner of his eye and he instinstually leaned back out of the projectile's way. He watched almost in slow motion as the red high heel shoe sailed inches past his nose and into the back of Yamcha's head.

"You bastard!" she yelled loudly enough to make the Prince's ears ring.
Vegeta turned his head to regard the woman uncertain as to which 'bastard she was referring.

"It's not what it looks like, Babe!" the weakling and no doubt the 'bastard' in question responded.

"What are you two idiots squabbling about now!" roared the angry prince. Why he was angry he wasn't completely sure. It certainly wasn't because the woman was completely ignoring his presence. Definitely not! It must be because they are not groveling on their knees before their superior.

"It's none of your business." The loser replied. "We're just having a slight misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding? Misunderstanding!" The blue haired woman protested. "How is it that you can label lipstick on your collar as a misunderstanding!"

"It's your lipstick!" Yamcha refuted.

"It is not!" Bulma yelled at the top of her lungs. Vegeta rubbed his ears to ensure they were not bleeding. The heiress took a moment to catch her breath. "I would never wear that shade. It makes my complexion look orange."

"How do you know?" The weakling interjected. "You have so many there's no way you could keep track of them all."

"Well I do," she said mater of factly, "and I know what shades look good on me!"

"Enough!" the prince snapped. The woman still had yet to even acknowledge his presence... There was no reason for that to upset him. He usually enjoyed watching the woman verbally beat the pathetic excuse for a warrior into a pulp. It was one of his prime sources of entertainment.

He strode past the quarreling couple and into the kitchen where the only woman in this godforsaken compound who knew how to properly serve royalty waited with a feast fit for a king.

"I made all your favorites today, Vegeta!" the ever cheerful Mrs. Brief said in her sing-song voice. With as voracious as a Saiyan's appetite was one might think it would be difficult to tell what a Saiyan's favorite foods were, but true to her word the table was loaded with all of the dishes that Vegeta enjoyed the most. He could only guess that she knew based off of which dishes he would reach for first. As it stood it was hard to pick which one to eat first. After a few moments he decided on the large plate of spare ribs that was divided into three piles of ribs each slathered with his favorite barbeque sauces.

He didn't know how she did it. She seemed like such an idiot. Perhaps she was a savant when it came to figuring someone's likes and dislikes when it came to food. That in and of itself made living here worthwhile. Add the training equipment provided by the old doctor and the woman, and a better place couldn't be found. Still there were times that the woman's antics were a bit over the top.

Vegeta bit into a spicy spare rib, released his grip on it and held it in his mouth as his now free hand deflected the shoe that flew over his shoulder away from his lunch. It was unfortunate for the original target that the missle was swatted into his floating ribs with four times the force it had oringinally been thrown with. The two continued to bicker as the royal house guest continued to enjoy his meal, or atleast tried to. It ended with scarface saying something about never coming back for the fourth time this week, and his ki disappearing into the distance.

Bulma entered the kitchen glumly and sat down on the other side of the table where another rather large meal had also been set up. While it was still small by saiyan standards he knew it was more than the other three Capsule Corp residents normally ate for lunch and it was all sitting in a localized area much as his own meal was arranged if only on a much smaller scale. Between inhaling his kingly portions he looked up to see the woman tearing into her own meal with reckless abandon.

"Hey mom, do you think you could whip up another batch of these crab and cream cheese rolls? I'm starving. I guess that fight with Yamcha must've really taken it out of me."

"Sure thing dear." her mother replied happily. "That baby must have a really healthy appetite too."

"Well mom, I am eating for two." she said as she started her second twelve inch sub.

"I don't remember eating that much when I was pregnant with you," She said as she brought her daughter the fresh batch of rolls, "but it was a long time ago."

The prince paled as the information the elder Brief woman was expounding upon sank in. "Certainly not." he thought to himself. However she was eating more than twice her normal consumption. More like four or five times from what he was seeing.

"Though I'm pretty sure you're eating about half what Vegeta eats dear, and you don't seem to be gaining that much weight."

"Well I do keep up with my prenatal workout tapes." she said with a smile thinking about how she had the only all girl workout tape in existance that Master Roshi wouldn't drool over.

"I just don't see where it all goes." she said with a smile. "I'm going to the super market. It's so hard to keep up with so many healthy appetites!"

Most of the rest of the meal went by in silence. Both occupants of the table being too engrossed in their food. Well at least Bulma was. Vegeta's appetite was severely diminshed, but that didn't mean he was going to leave any food behind merely that he ate slower. He had too much on his metaphoric plate to digest to keep up his normal eating pace. As Bulma popped the last cream cheese roll in her mouth she wiped her mouth and stood to her feet.

"Woman." The Saiyan Prince said as he wiped his mouth with his napkin and also stood, "You must tell me something."

"Listen bud, I'm sorry if I embarassed you, but I don't really want to talk about it right now. I have enough man troubles as is."

"It's not about that!" he said as he slammed his fist against the table just enough to jar it a little. He wasn't about to damage it, he hadn't gotten to his sushi and it was common for him to save it for last as it was definately his favorite dish. "Well it is, but not in the way you are thinking."

"What could you possibly mean by that?"

"I mean that child you carry. Is there any possibility that it could be mine?"

"No." she said flatly.

"Are you certain about that?"

"Yes. I'm certain."

"Completely?"

"Yes Vegeta, completely."

"How can you be sure?"

"Well the doctor says that by the size of the baby I'm atleast ten weeks along and what happened was about 4
weeks ago."

"Six weeks."

"What?"

"It was six weeks ago, woman."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" he responded irritably.

"Well regardless I'm ten weeks along, not six or four so it obviously isn't yours."

"And you are certain of that?"

"What did I just get done telling you?"

"Very well, you can leave now, woman." he said as he sat back down to his plate of sushi.

"Why was it so important to you to know?"

He glared at her as he bit into his first piece of sushi. He chewed slowly holding her gazed as he swallowed, and finally replied, "If I was to be a father I would, by my honor, have certain responsibilties to attend to that would take away from my training."
"Wait a second." she said disbelievingly, "If I was carrying your child you'd take time away from training for me?"

"How can you even ask that?" he said incredulously, "Just because I've slayed trillions and laid waste to entire planets, even galaxies, doesn't mean that I'm so much of a monster that I'd turn my back on my own unborn flesh and blood." He punctuated his comment with a bite of sushi. "Even if it is just a halfbreed."

Bulma Brief had never been so dumbfounded in her life. "You mean you'd be there for me..."

"If you were carrying my child yes. You honestly had me worried today. You ate like a Saiyan, and I thought you might be carrying one."

"You'd go to doctor's appointments, help me pick out stuff for the baby, and everything."

"Well I would want to keep tabs on the child's growth and ensure that all equipment purchased were fit for a young prince, and... Wait, why are we even having this conversation?"

"I really don't know." she said in a detached voice. When the doctor had told her yesterday that she was ten weeks along instead of the six as he'd quoted two weeks before her heart had leapt at the thought that her child had definately been fathered by her longtinme sweetheart and boyfriend Yamcha. Now after the fight she'd had an hour ago, and what the saiyan before had just said she found herself wishing for the first time that Vegeta had been the father.