Author's Note: Hello, me again. Just a little one-shot. Another entry for the First Kiss contest, mostly just because I like writing these and this idea wouldn't stop nagging me. And yes, it's another rooftop scene, but I couldn't help myself. I write on the roof, guys, give me a break...but I'll stop writing rooftop scenes after this one. I just couldn't resist. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. If I did, you can be assured that there would have been a sixth season.
No one talks to me anymore. Cyborg has been tinkering in the garage since she's been gone, Beast Boy has been curled up in the form of a forlorn puppy, and I have no idea where Raven is.
Me? I've been on the roof, waiting. Hoping. Maybe if I sit here a little bit longer, she'll come back to watch the sunset with me, like we always used to.
Sunsets aren't the same without her. The colors are dim…what used to be streaks of red and orange have turned gray.
Nothing is the same without her. The Tower is filled with tension, and it took us two days to defeat Dr. Light, who (thankfully) is the only criminal we've had to face since she left.
Two days to defeat Dr. Light. Just thinking about it pisses me off. It's fucking Dr. Light.
I stand up, pacing the roof, the July summer sun beating down on my chest. I'm only wearing shorts. I don't care if people see me. I need her back. I need her to come back, to forgive me for being a stupid prick….again. That's all that matters. The stubble on my face is irrelevant, the civilian appearance is unimportant. Just her. She is the only thing that matters…and really, now that I think about it, she has always been the most important thing to me. I was just too stubborn to realize it until it was too late.
I feel like that's all I do lately. Act like a douche and then regret it. Speak before I think. But this time, I took it too far. I said things that should never be said, things that I will never stop regretting. Things that drove her to tears and into the sky.
What the hell is the matter with me? She's the best thing I have…had…and I don't know how to tell her. I don't know how to show her that I need her so damn badly.
Boy Wonder…more like Boy Failure…
The words I said still haunt me. All she had done was ask me why Beast Boy would lock himself in the bathroom for hours and take excruciatingly long showers-an occurrence that began after he had crossed through puberty and Raven had changed her costume to something much more revealing-and I snapped.
I don't know why I was in a mood that day, but I was. I yelled at her to stop asking me stupid questions and to just try and think for herself for once. She looked at me with those beautiful eyes of hers sparkling with tears, before she ran out of the room and up to the roof, darting into the sky with an erratic flight pattern.
I brooded for an hour before I realized that maybe I had gone too far. That was when I started taking my vigil on the roof, hoping that she would come back.
It's been a week and a half. No Starfire.
I stop pacing. I sit down on the edge of the roof, put my head in my hands, and do something I haven't done in too long.
I cry. And these aren't silent tears, oh no. These are the tears that make you gasp for breath, the ones that blur your vision and make your whole body shake. These are the tears that make your chest hurt and nose run and heart ache even more than it already does. I haven't cried this hard since my parents died.
An arm is placed around my shoulder and I'm pulled into someone's neck, and I cry. I cry for the things I didn't say, for the things I never told her. I cry because I never told her how much I love the cute way she talks, the way she scrunches up her nose when she sneezes and the fierce and protective warrior within her. I cry because I told her things I never meant, because I didn't treat her the way she deserved to be treated.
In the middle of my sobs, I realize that the person who is holding me smells very familiar. Strawberries…and her (because she is decidedly female, from where my face is planted) comforting croons are in a language unfamiliar to Earth but so very familiar to me. Tamaranian. I've never heard her say any of these words before, so I don't know what she is actually telling me, but it doesn't matter, because she's the one talking.
Part of me wants to stay nestled in her soft—oh, so soft—neck and bosom forever, my hands wound in her hair, clutching at her for dear life, but I know I need to look at her. Need to man up. Need to apologize.
So I look up.
And there she is: my beautiful, ethereal, otherworldly and perfect Starfire.
She looks like this week hasn't treated her much better than it's treated me. Her hair isn't as shiny as usually, her cheeks look a bit hallowed, and her eyes aren't sparkling with their normal joy. But she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen…because she's back. Because she's holding me, because she's home!
I gently place my bare hand on her face, and she flinches, like I slapped her. That involuntary action of hers is like a dagger through my heart, but I know I deserve it. I've misled her too often, hurt her one time too many.
Not today. Today, I fess up.
"Star…" I begin, my voice breaking, and I slowly inhale to try and compose myself. I try again, praying to any god that will hear me for her forgiveness.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for always acting like a jerk and for never knowing how to open up and be honest."
"You deserve so much better. You deserve to be held, to be cuddled, to be told you're beautiful and special and fucking brilliant-" At this, she makes a little hrrmph noise, referring to our last conversation. But I don't let her distract me with painful memories of what I've done.
"I mean it. I was wrong to say that, so wrong, and I was wrong for never doing this before."
She tilts her head, wondering what I could mean. I brush my finger along her cheek, and she subconsciously closes her eyes, enjoying the touch. Of course…Tamaranians and their love of touch. So I pull her against me, opening my legs so that she is leaning against my chest, her head right next to mine. I turn her head towards mine, and place my lips on hers.
Her mouth opens willingly. At first, it's sweet and special and its only intention is to show her how much I love her, how sorry I am, but it quickly turns into something filled with desperation and hardness all over, something that I can't hold back. She needs to know that she is everything to me, and that I mean it this time. My hands are on her waist, and I'm pressing myself as close to her as I can get, not even caring that she can probably feel everything that my body is doing to me.
Her soft, full lips are bruising against mine, her hands clutching at my back, adorable and desperate moans leaving her as she pushes her fucking amazing cleavage against me. I moan, unable to control it, and she gasps a moan against me before slowly pulling away. I look into her eyes, so proud to have finally done it, to have finally kissed her. She looks so happy, so in love, so...so…beautiful.
"You're gorgeous, Starfire," I murmur, lightly pressing my forehead against hers, closing my eyes and just enjoying the feel of having her body against mine. She hums a little as she rests against me, and I can feel her starting to float away with happiness. I hear myself give a little growl laugh and I secure my arms around her waist, rolling on the rooftop until I have her pinned underneath me.
"No floating away from me, missy!" I say, chuckling, and she giggles again and tries to writhe away from me. In this position, holding myself over her on my arms and knees, I can see her delightful cleavage, can feel her small waist try to wriggle out from underneath me, and it's making things a lot harder than they already are. If only I could slip my hand up her soft, taut belly…
No. Stop thinking that. I'm just going to enjoy the fact that I have her at all, because I definitely don't deserve this giggling, beautiful, and utterly sexy creature beneath me.
So what do I do? Kiss her again, of course.