Setting: Sanctuary - After Awakening but before Carentan

Doctor Who - After Let's Kill Hitler but before The God Complex (Amy and Rory are still with the Doctor)

Author's Note: Okay, so I'm writing this chapter on a keyboard that my father spilt Coke on, so every second space isn't there, the 'n' key is going on strike and the 'k' is kompletely absent. Tee hee, it's funny. Did you… see the… no? Alright then… now I'm depressed.

Summary: Basically what happened in the last chapter was they pick up Will from the Sanctuary, everyone gets a proper introduction, they land at Torchwood to find Rose and Amanda and there is some complicated Shadow Proclamation stuff and then the chapter ends with:

"Right, here we are! Torchwood Four, everyone meet everybody and everybody meet everyone." The requisite motions accompany the words and Mel calmly walks past everyONE and everyBODY to go straight to Rose and Amanda. "Right then, what did you find?" Rose glances over at Mel before turning back to the computer screen she was working on. "Okay, we didn't find much, but it's enough to prosecute under the Shadow Proclamation, Article 8, Paragraph 5, Subsection 3."

"Great, that means we can get out of here and to some real civilization."

"Yeah, not really. We have enough to prosecute, but not anything else. We'll get 'em to court but it ends there. We simply don't have enough to do anything else with it."

"I bet you I can." Mel replies confidently and Rose shakes her head and plays the video as I come up behind them. After the video finishes Mel sighs, "You're right, you see a general profile, but nothing you could claim to be a particular person. Can't you clean up the footage anymore?"

"I've already got Amanda on it, but we can only do so much." Mel nods and bends down to kiss her forehead, "Okay, thanks sweetie. Do what you can."

Chapter Eight: An Introduction, Flirting and an Introduction

The redhead turns to the man in the bowtie, "Who is everyONE though, Doctor?" He shrugs slightly and twists to look at her, his lanky frame getting in the way of any movement, "This is Torchwood. That's Captain Jack Harkness by the stairs, Owen Harper in the medical bay, Gwen Cooper is the black haired lady by the computer, Toshiko Sato is the other lady by the computer and Ianto Jones is the one in the suit."

"Okay, fine, but who are they and what do they do?" She asks exasperatedly.

"They're the space police on Earth, Amy." The Doctor explains, badly. "They collect all the alien artifacts that come through the Rift and keep them safe and out of the hands of people who will abuse them."

As the Doctor was talking I move away from the stairs and towards Amy and the Doctor. "Why hello there!"

"Don't even think about it." A blond-haired man says before the Doctor can even open his mouth. "She's married."

"That's never stopped me before." I say jokingly, but subtly back off when I see the look the ginger is giving me. "So, who're all you lot?" I say trying to change the subject.

A sexy looking woman walks past me and points at the Doctor, "He'll introduce everyone."

The Doctor looks at her aghast but obediently starts to introduce everyone, "We didn't have a very good introduction time in the TARDIS before, so this is Doctor Helen Magnus, Head of the Sanctuary Network and of Old City in Canada. This is Doctor William Zimmerman, her second in command, psychiatrist and writer. This-" Here I interrupt, directing my query to William, "What do you write?"

"Bits and pieces, you know?" He shrugs as the good looking woman who put the Doctor in command of the introductions calls out to someone, "Hey, Shakespeare, come up here and take a look at this, we need your expertise."

Someone behind her snickers and Doctor Zimmerman turns and walks up the stairs. River is the first one to react.

"Did she just call him…" She trails off in apparent disbelief and shakes her head, "Unbelievable, I should have guessed." She turns to me then and smiles, "So, what did you do with my ship?"

I frown in confusion for a minute before realization dawns, "Oh… your ship..." I look at the Doctor uneasily, but he is at a loss as to what we're talking about. "Before we begin, I'd like to have you know, that your ship was blown up to save the lives of many, many people."

Behind me I hear my team start whispering as they dissect this new piece of information given to them. "But it's a long story and one I'd rather save for the road." River gives me a patient look and I realize she's biding her time to strike.

She lifts her arm so it shows her wrist in a faux stretch and I see the vortex manipulator on her wrist. MY vortex manipulator on HER wrist. Admittedly from the future, but still… MY vortex manipulator. My eyes narrow and she smiles at me smugly.

Tosh chooses that moment to come over, "We just got a spike in the rift activity. What do you want to do, Jack?" I turn away from River to look at her, pause and then start talking.

"Okay, take Owen, Ianto and some other various people, the Doctor will tell you who." I turn to the Doctor and he nods, "Take Amy and Rory, they'll enjoy it and..."

When he trails off, I know he wants to say, Keep them out of trouble. When did things become so bad, that Torchwood became a viable distraction technique? I nod slightly and the Doctor goes to continue, before the woman from upstairs strides down again.

"As it seems you can't keep your tiny minds on an introduction for longer than I few seconds, I'll have to take over." The hot woman says as she walks down the stairs to come next to Amy and her man. "This is Amelia and Rory Pond." She walks around further to stand in front of River, "You already know River, Jack, but for everyone else, this is Doctor River Song, archeologist." She gestures up the stairs with a broad wave, "And the talkative one is Rosemarie Hathaway and the not so talkative one is Amanda Bering."

"And who are you? Pol Pot?" Owen says with his typical subtlety.

"Me?" She answers, raising an eyebrow, "Why, I'm Melody Song."

When she announced her name, Gwen collapses and begins to scream.

A/N: Okay, sorry for the short chapter, but I'm hitting writer's block right now. Anyone else more than a little confused… okay, hands right up. Yep, well… we're all in the same boat here, so don't expect me to have any more idea about what's going on here than you.