Title: Four Outfits Josh Hated Wearing and One He Didn't Mind
Josh had been doing the transformation thing for two years, that meant 24 months of waking up naked in search of clothes. This was a dangerous situation to be in. It wasn't as if he was wary of the fashion police pouncing on him for poor taste; there were just some outfits that he hated having to put on post-transformation.
The first one was dress. It was demeaning, ultra feminine, and always sure to give Aidan a good laugh, which in Josh's book, was rarely a good thing.
Once, Aidan had picked him up off the edge of the woods with Josh wearing a tragically pink mumu that had been wafting in the wind of some country woman's clothesline. The moment Josh entered the car he had the phrase, "Not a word" on the tip of his tongue, but it was useless. Aidan was already laughing like a hyena, his head pressed against the steering wheel.
Josh took the taunting laughter like a man though. Well… As man as he can be when dressed in a linen as flowery as his mother's tablecloth.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures!" Josh told his roommate, who only laughed louder at the statement.
"Don't beat yourself up over it. I think you look very pretty," Aidan said, switching the car into gear and giggling anytime he caught a glance of the horrendously girly getup. Josh just sat silently in the car, declaring the next time he would pack clothes.
Yet it would never work out like he intended. Some way or another, his transformation would leave him completely clothing-less the next morning, miles away from the duffel of emergency attire he'd pack away.
This brought him to his second choice for horrible outfit: the children's clothing.
Just when Josh didn't think Aidan could laugh any harder at his post-tranformation getup as the dress, the vampire proved him wrong. The normally stoic man had literal tears running down his face when Josh plopped into the seat next to him wearing a mid-drift TMNT tanktop and overalls that barely clasped at the front due to Josh's disproportionate height.
"Can you just drive, Aidan?" Josh said, but to no avail.
"Are you sure you shouldn't be in a car seat in the back there, buddy?" Aidan chortled, the only one present in the car that actually found such a tasteless joke excessively hilarious.
Josh would soon learn that Aidan had prepared a "witty comeback" for almost every outfit that Josh could find, bringing him to his third outfit of horror, the burlap sack.
It wasn't such an outfit as it was a bag that Josh would hastily rip holes into for any kind of cover. It was definitely a last resort sort of item, especially when he didn't want to be chanced being seen by any campers, who would most certainly report him as a streaking pervert (yeah, that happened before).
"Whatever hilarious comment you're going to make this time, just don't." Josh said, noticing Aidan was on the verge of sputtering over with sniggers the moment he entered the vehicle.
"I wasn't going to say anything," Aidan said in a strained voice. "But you do put a new spin on term bag boy!"
With that, he proceeded to break into a knee-slapping, steering wheel-pounding fit of giggles that Josh would have found amusing if he weren't the current cause of it. The newly-transformed werewolf just thanked his lucky stars that he wouldn't have to deal with another jeering session for another month.
And it was exactly one month later that Josh found himself wearing his fourth and final least favorite outfit, the getup Aidan had so appropriately named: "The Adam."
Josh had awoken that fateful day in a very unfamiliar clearing of the woods, as usual with no clothes in sight. He knew that Aidan would track his scent over to where he was but, by that time, it would probably be too late because there was a small crowd of campers walking around near the open road.
Josh knew he had to act quickly or get arrested, being permanently labeled a sex offender. Searching wildly for a random article of cloth or even a sack for covering, Josh found he was completely deserted of clothing. That's when he saw the bush.
Raising his eyes to the heavens, once again wondering why this horrible curse wouldn't die until it took every last shred of his dignity, Josh approached the leafy shrub and began taking the flexible branches in hand. Once he had about seven or eight, he was able to wrap his goods inside by making a skit-like covering.
Josh looked down at himself and realized he looked positively ridiculous in his leafy costume, a fact that was only emphasized as he stiffly walked past the crowd of bewildered campers. No one said a word, and there was almost no sound in the forest as Josh approached Aidan's car, which was faithfully parked on the shoulder of the highway.
The quiet was short-lived as Aidan's wild laughter permeated Josh's ear drums.
"I'm glad you're taking such pleasure in my misery," Josh said, too acquainted with being Aidan's regular form of entertainment to actually feel bad for himself.
Still, Aidan seemed to sober up at the comment, albeit with great struggle. "I'm sorry. You're right. It's not your fault that green's not your color."
Josh rolled his eyes at the horrible pun as Aidan broke out in another bout of snickering. "Your jokes sound like my Grandpas, old man."
"Hey, at least I'm not dressed like Adam!" Aidan laughed.
It was useless. Josh just had to get used to the fact that he would forever be greeted with Aidan's taunting laughter whenever he transformed and dressed in some ludicrous attire. At the rate Josh's life had been going, he'd probably only be around for another 20-30 years, if he was lucky. So that was looking on the bright side… He guessed.
Then again, Aidan wasn't one for keeping with the same pattern. So after the 16th time of almost crashing the car from the tears of joy streaming down his face, Aidan decided to surprise Josh.
And surprised Josh was when he woke up the next day after his 17th transformation, only to be greeted by a batch of clothes landing into his lap.
"What's this?" Josh asked, looking up at his dark-haired, porcelain-skinned roommate.
"Some clothes I brought with me from my locker at work," Aidan shrugged, acting as if it were no big deal.
Josh clearly thought it was a big deal by the way his eyes turned to saucers as he felt the cotton fabric of the blue sweatshirt. He looked up at Aidan a bit skeptically. "Why did you do this? You're not going to miss your monthly version of the Forest-Life Fashion Show?"
Aidan gave his best friend one of his lop-sided grins, "Oh, I never said this was a permanent thing. I just thought it would be tough handling these November's winds in one of Ms. Hanna's mumus."
"Hm, your right. Those dresses do tend to get a bit drafty," Josh admitted in mock seriousness. He turned to look up at Aidan, his eyes shining with gratefulness.
"Seriously, don't mention it. I don't want us getting sappy when you're naked and there are campers a few yards away." Aidan told him and Josh glanced over to see the smoke of the campfire billowing up not far away from where they stood.
Josh nodded and instructed Aidan to turn around while he changed. The werewolf changed quickly into the sweatshirt and jeans, realizing that they really were Aidan's clothes, made apparent by the fact that they hung loosely on his slighter form.
"Geez, Aidan, I think it's time you laid off the blood sundaes." Josh commented as he held the pants up from falling off his hips. They were walking back to the car parked on the side of the road, Josh glad not to be the subject of scrutiny by the set of campers eating breakfast.
"Or maybe it's time you started eating more," Aidan said, giving a pointed look to the younger man, who laughed nervously. "Let's stop by the diner on our way back. You must be dying to get the taste of werewolf poop out of your mouth."
Josh shook his head, entering the car at the same time as his roommate, "You have no idea."
"You're right, and I'm glad," Aidan said, starting up the car.
Josh sat back into the passenger seat, enjoying the fact that he finally didn't have something uncomfortable rubbing up against his privates, like a tree branch or burlap. Instead he could rest his head back, wrapping his arms around himself in the too-big sweatshirt, and let the exhaustion of the transformation take over.
Who knew Aidan's clothes would make such a good fit?
A/N: I absolutely adore this show and can't wait for it to come back. Just a story to tide us over. Please review!