The Bride's Vengeance

Summary: D'Hoffryn's in the market for a new vengeance demon for scorned women. Then he finds The Bride.

Challenge: none that I know of.

Timeline: after 'The Wish' in season 3 of BtVS. Spoilers for both movies.

Warning: a basic recap of 'Kill Bill 1 & 2'. If you can't handle the recap, you should never see the movies.

A/N: got the idea from a chat with AerynSpeedleCaine.

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. Kill Bill characters belong to Quentin Tarantino and Miramax Films. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

D'Hoffyrn's realm

Sitting in his chair, Lord D'Hoffryn, ruler of Arashmahaar and master of all vengeance demons, mourned the loss of his beloved Anyanka. As much as he would have liked to have given her back her amulet, he couldn't afford to show weakness by favoring one of his minions over any of the others. Besides, if she was as smart as she thought she was, Anyanka would figure out how to get her powers back again by drawing him to her with her need for vengeance like she did the first time.

In the meantime, he needed somebody to fill her position. He asked all his other minions to watch out for any possibilities while he brooded- er, considered his options from his throne.

"Lord D'Hoffryn!" Halfrek called out cheerfully as she popped in. "I believe I have Anyanka's replacement located. This woman oozes vengeance from every pore of her being. Odd that you haven't felt her down here."

"I haven't been paying attention," D'Hoffryn replied dismissively. "Tell me about her," he ordered, gesturing to a seat nearby.

Halfrek sat down and began her tale, "Her name is Beatrix Kiddo. She was pregnant with this man's child, but since he ran a group of trained assassins – and she was one herself – Beatrix ran away to raise her baby in a normal life. She found a man to marry her, but Bill – the father of the baby – ordered the rest of the team to kill everyone at the wedding ceremony, then shot her in the head himself. She managed to survive somehow and just woke up after four years to find the orderly was pimping her out to his friends when he wasn't raping her himself. Despite not using her muscles for that long, her need for vengeance got her out of that hospital bed and she was able to kill the man raping her and the orderly who arranged it. I think she's going after Bill now."

D'Hoffryn thought about it for a moment, weighing the pros and cons. Finally he decided it couldn't hurt to check the woman out. "Very good. Thank you, Halfrek," he said, causing the demon for wronged children to beam in pleasure.

Kill Bill 1

Over the next few weeks, he watched as Beatrix got her vengeance on those who wronged her or simply stood in her way. Strange that she tried to convince the crazy schoolgirl to walk away instead of simply killing her. Gogo was far too insane to be allowed to live without somebody in control of her leash. She could make demons shudder in fear.

The fight between her and the 'Crazy 88' was remarkable. If he didn't know better, he would have thought she already had supernatural powers – possibly more than a little Slayer in her. The fact she was killing humans and not demons tended to negate that idea. Not that Slayers couldn't kill humans if necessary, but the idea of one as a trained assassin… Well, that was just plain terrifying.

The demon community had better hope that Beatrix would never decide to team up with the Watchers Council. If any Slayer showed half the ruthlessness or brutality of Beatrix Kiddo, Quor-Toth might gain a lot of new citizens. It would be a paradise compared to an Earth with her helping to fight them.

Then there was the torture and maiming of the interpreter to learn about the rest of the assassin squad. This was one cold bitch when it came to people who wronged her.

The only mercy she ever showed was to the daughter, Nikki, of another of her targets. Instead of killing the girl, Beatrix said that if Nikki ever wanted revenge on the woman who killed her mother, she'd be waiting for her. A dangerous thing to do, but given how deadly Beatrix was, the girl wouldn't stand a chance…unless she received some supernatural power-up.

Kill Bill 2

He almost thought she was dead when Bill's brother shot, sedated and buried her in the desert. Again she surprised – and privately he would admit to a little fright as well – D'Hoffryn when she dug her way out of the grave. It should have been impossible for a human being to survive that.

He wondered what she had planned for the brother before he shot her. It was too bad the one-eyed woman killed him first. Oh well, she got her due when Beatrix blinded her and left her in the trailer with the poisonous snake.

For fun, he would make sure she didn't escape alive. He was actually growing fond of Beatrix, even though she wasn't one of his…yet.

Finally there was the confrontation between Beatrix and Bill. Compared to all the other battles, this one seemed almost tame. Apart from a little blood on his lips, Beatrix's use of the 'Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique' to kill him was very clean.

To further confuse D'Hoffryn, she seemed almost sad to do it. She knew that if she didn't kill Bill, her own life was forfeit. Most of the people she killed or maimed up to this point, she seemed pleased with killing. How odd that the man responsible for all of it would garner the most remorse in her. Whether it was because she still loved him or because he was B.B.'s father, D'Hoffryn didn't know. He wasn't sure it mattered anyway.

Now was the time to consider whether to offer her the chance to become one of his demons. She certainly wouldn't hesitate to come up with some good ways to grant wishes, that much was evident. And they would involve a lot of blood and death, too.

Perhaps too much.

His position as ruler of the vengeance demons was one built on blood. To become the ruler, one must first kill the current ruler – a fact not shared with the minions…for obvious reasons. If he allowed her in the ranks, he might as well hand her his head at the same time. No, it may be ironic, but in the end he decided this was one scorned woman who was too bloody to become a vengeance demon.

A/N: Couldn't stop Musie from doing this. Figured it would be funny if she was too good at vengeance to be one of D'Hoffryn's demons.