This has been edited for content. The full oneshot is available on y!gallery to its members with all the smutty details. Though I do try to leave as much as possible, some minor things are omitted, added or changed. I apologize for any jarring transitions.


Sasuke pulls into the garage and smoothly steps from his sports car. He looks around for the attendant and finds him hunched over, headphones in his ears, tinkering under the hood of a car. His ass cleavage hangs out the top of his loose, oil-stained jeans. Sasuke smirks as he approaches, picking up a dipstick from the work table on his way over to the oblivious blond. He stops a safe distance away and slides the flexible metal down the crack of Naruto's ass.

Naruto jumps upright with a startled yell and flings his headphones off his head, sputtering and outraged. He quickly spots the Uchiha, his arms now crossed over his chest, and faces him with a grimace. "You're an ass, Sasuke."

"And you've got a great one, Naruto."

Naruto smirks and pushes the toothpick in his mouth to the left side, studying the clean-cut man before him.

Sasuke closes the distance and slips his fingers into the hem of dirty jeans, keeping eye contact with the grime covered mechanic. He lifts them up to the blond's proper waist so that he has a few inches to peer inside. "You aren't wearing underwear again."

Naruto shrugs. "They confine me." He reaches up with one dirty hand and slips it around the back of the businessman's neck, rubbing his thumb over Sasuke's pale cheek.

Sasuke shivers and closes his eyes, leaning into the touch.

"You are such a weirdo." Naruto pulls Sasuke closer and kisses him, smearing his pristine face with grease and oil.

They stagger backwards, tripping over scattered tools and black dirty rags until Sasuke's back slams into the opposite wall. Naruto fumbles with the door handle behind Sasuke and eventually they stumble into the empty room. Naruto pushes Sasuke up against the office desk where he then shoves all his invoices and bills and receipts onto the floor.

Sasuke sits on the edge with Naruto between his legs. Their lips smash against each other's and hands roam aimlessly. Sasuke's suit jacket lies on the floor and his once crisp, white dress shirt is smudged and caked in dirt. Sasuke breaks from the kiss and looks into Naruto's hungry eyes. "Move in with me."

Naruto snorts, pausing in his battle with Sasuke's clothes. "I'm too filthy for you, Uchiha."

Sasuke retorts with a glare, "I like your filth."

With a peck on the lips, Naruto replies, "You can't handle my filth."

"I have been."

"But not in all its disgusting glory."

Sasuke buries his hand in Naruto's black streaked blond hair. "Hmm," he moans. "I want it though."

Naruto chuckles. "What is wrong with you? You're the neatest person I've ever met, but you got this major fetish dirty things. Why is that?"

"Suppressed rage from the strict lifestyle of growing up as a wealthy man's son who expected perfection; I'm lashing out," he says with a cool smirk.

Naruto laughs at the analytical self-diagnosis. Perhaps Sasuke has wondered the same thing before.

Sasuke tugs Naruto's oversized jeans over his ass and they fall to a heap at his ankles. "Are we gonna do this or what?"

Naruto moves back in and sucks on the Uchiha's neck while his deft hands work open Sasuke's belt and trousers.

Sasuke slides off the table and stands up to allow the slacks to fall while he turns around, putting his palms on the table and bending over.

Naruto smacks a hand on the Uchiha's ass cheek and laughs at the way the man jumps. A red mark forms on his pale cheek, speckled with flecks of dirt and smudges of oil. Naruto grabs a handful and molds the cheeks in his hands. "Mmm, I think I might understand a little why you like dirt. If you could see it covering your ass now..."

Sasuke groans, his fingernails digging into the sticky surface of the desk.

Naruto licks a trail up Sasuke's back from his crack to his neck. He tastes his way to Sasuke's ear and tells him, "I don't have a condom." His erection nudges the Uchiha's expecting entrance.

Sasuke reaches his hand back over his shoulder, twining his fingers through dirty blond locks. He pulls Naruto's lips to his and moans a breathy, "Fuck me," before pressing his mouth to the other's.

Naruto licks the Uchiha's lips and adds, "I haven't taken a bath in a few days either."

Sasuke groans at the news, pushing back into Naruto's pelvis.

With a deep chuckle, Naruto steadies himself and digs in. His brutal hammering making the desk scoot across the floor.

"Uh oh," Naruto seems to say out of the blue.

Sasuke looks back with glazed eyes, a little saliva trailing over his chin and onto to table.

Naruto looks back down at him and smiles. "Customer."

Sasuke's eyes go wide and he tries to stand up, but Naruto puts a firm hand to his back and maintains his motions. "Stay there," he says in a light voice, holding Sasuke down to the tabletop.

A fetishist and now an exhibitionist. What's next?

Naruto leans over Sasuke to reach the intercom. He presses the button and peeks his head out the office window. "I'll be with you in a moment."

The lady in the garage jumps at the voice and turns around frantically looking for who had spoken. Naruto waves through the glass with a welcoming smile. She waves back understandingly and takes a seat on a wooden bench in the garage.

Naruto focuses back on his partner and asks, "Does that excite you too, Sasuke? I can tell her to come in if you want."

Sasuke groans and his hand swipes out, hitting something off the desk.

Naruto bolts to his feet. "Hey! That's an expensive radio."

Sasuke moans again as Naruto's mild anger makes him behave more roughly. Panting, he says, "I'll buy you a new one."

Naruto glares at the back of Sasuke's head. "Tch. Rich bastard." Naruto flips Sasuke around and goes down on his knees.

The Uchiha sits up curiously, wondering why Naruto would stop so soon.

While working the businessman from his knees, Naruto praises creamy, unblemished skin and he feels an overwhelming need to ravish it throughly.

When Sasuke warns Naruto he is about ready to blow, Naruto moves away and stands next to him to help him along with his calloused, workman's hands.

As Sasuke rises to completion, Naruto admires the range he gets and molds his lips over Sasuke's. He promptly tucks everything away, pulling Sasuke's pants up for him and fastens them closed. Naruto pulls his own jeans up over his goods while Sasuke moves to a more comfortable piece of furniture.

The Uchiha settles on the worn couch in the office and stares at the new stain on the floor. "Aren't you gonna clean that up?"

Naruto turns with a curious expression and sees Sasuke eyeing the wet patches on the ground. "Oh, nah. I was just gonna leave it there."

Sasuke's eyes dart to Naruto and his hands unconsciously grip the cushions..

Naruto snickers at the reaction. "Hold your horses, Sasuke." Naruto collects some papers from behind the desk and says, "Quit staring at it. You'll excite yourself."

Sasuke glares at him, hating the fact that it is true.

Naruto gives him a quick peck before making his way over to the door, stepping over the mess, and winking at Sasuke as he exits.

After a minute or so, a hissing buzz penetrates the silence of the office. "Naruto? Are you there?"

Sasuke perks up confused and startled. He follows the muffled sound to the other side of the desk.

The same voice asks, "Naruto? Is he still there?"

Sasuke starts. He leans down and realizes it is a CB radio. He pushes the button and tries to imitate Naruto's voice. "No."

"Oh good. Dude, you're fuck just aired over the waves. That hot piece of ass is seriously messed up in the head."

Naruto walks back in to hear Kiba rambling on the other line about Sasuke and his romp. Naruto blanches. He snatches the handset from Sasuke and yells at the man on the other end, "Shut up, Kiba!"

"Naruto? Uh, what's goin' on?"

Naruto stares, horrified, at Sasuke as he speaks to Kiba through the radio.

Sasuke stares right back. That angry furrow between his brows is particularly prominent.

"He's still here, dumbass."

"Oh shit! Uh, Sasuke, don't be upset with Naruto too much. He didn't do it on purpose." After a moment of silence, Kiba comes back and says, "Just remember that he's a dirty, dirty boy!" The ensuing laughter does not help his case.

Sasuke balls his fist and begins to stalk closer to Naruto who backs away slowly.

Naruto tries to remedy the situation by suddenly shouting, "I'll move in with you!"

Sasuke is caught off guard and stares at the blond mechanic as he processes the deal he is being implicitly offered. Get pissed off now and nothing changes, or stay calm, forgive and finally get that filthy ass into his home. It's really not much of a decision and they both know it.

Sasuke smirks and lowers his fist. "Deal."

Immediately, Naruto starts complaining about the arrangement. "Now there's no reason for you to visit me and park the lambo in front of the shop anymore. It was so good for business. How am I suppose to lure in customers now?"

"Hn, I'll leave it here then."

"What would you drive?"

"I'll buy another one."

Naruto pouts and mumbles, "Rich bastard."

Sasuke flings his arms around Naruto's neck and looks into his eyes. "Dirty, dirty boy."


PSA: Always wear a condom. And bathe.

Mysos is the greek term for dirt as in mysophilia or mysophobia.