A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in forever! Also, late Merry Christmas and also a late Happy New Year. I am so rude sometimes. Anyway, let me know what you think? X
S T A R R Y E Y E D
"Tori" Lane greeted the Latina as she took a seat on the couch opposite him.
"Lane" Tori replied with a smile, "Thanks for finally making time to see me" this was a hint of annoyance in her face but Lane bypassed it and opened his notebook.
"In your voicemail, you said there was a disturbing dream you had to talk about" Lane began, "Why don't you tell me about the dream?".
Tori opened her mouth, hesitated and then closed it again, "It's a little provocative".
"Tori, everything here is completely confidential" Lane reassured her.
"Well, in the dream, I was in my kitchen" Tori began, "And…
Tori threw her head back and sighed. She had no idea when it would be but she was completely positive that her landlord-landlady would come a knocking tonight. She had just finished putting a batch of red velvet cupcakes in the oven when the doorbell went. Tori glanced at herself in the nearest mirror and saw that she had icing and chocolate smeared all over her face. The doorbell went again.
Sighing at how she had no time to fix herself, Tori tore off the apron and ran to the door. She opened it and caught her breath at the sight of her landlady. She was wearing one of her usual black business dresses and had her natural brown hair flowing freely in curls. She also looked pissed off and Tori bit her lip at the thought of telling her landlady she had no money to pay this month's rent.
"Miss West" Tori stepped inside to let her landlady in.
"Call me Jade" The landlady replied, "You've certainly been here long enough to know my first name except I've never had one single payment from you" she watched Tori close the door behind her nervously and raised her eyebrow, "Why is that?".
"I've kind of been back and forth between acting jobs" Tori began to ramble, "I'm just out of University and my agent says that she'll get me something really soon and then I'll be able to-".
"Stop talking, you're boring me" Jade snapped. She paused and then smirked, earning a curious look from Tori. "This just won't do I'm afraid" Jade shook her head.
"Please give me another chance" Tori whined, "I'll do anything, I swear" she batted her eyelids.
Jade pouted, "Anything?".
"Yes, anything" Tori nodded.
"I suppose we could come up with some kind of arrangement" Jade inched forwards and reached out, scraping her index finger over the dab of icing on Tori's cheek. She brought her finger to her mouth and slowly sucked the icing from it.
Tori gasped, "You mean…?".
"You're an actress, work it out" Jade whispered, winking with one eye seductively.
"I guess so…" Tori shrugged, "I mean I've never really thought about girls-" she was caught off abruptly when Jade pressed her lips to Tori's and silenced her. Tori's eyes went wide at the sudden act but after a moment of adjustment, she found she couldn't stop.
Their lips melded together in one sweet hot moan and when Jade shoved her tongue inside Tori's mouth she smirked at the tremble through the Latina's body. Arms were moving passionately, clothes were being ripped off as they both moved erratically through their kisses, trying to find something to lean against.
Jade shoved Tori onto the kitchen table and climbed on top, straddling her hips. "This is what I call customer service" Jade licked her lips as she bent in and began kissing the Latina all over again.
"Jade" Tori gasped as she heard the zipper of her jeans go down. She opened her mouth to say something else but found she couldn't. Just when she thought she was going to get some relief, she looked up and saw that Jade was just staring down at her, an unreadable expression in her eyes. "Jade?" Tori questioned.
Jade leaned in slowly, her lips inches away from Tori's, their breaths mingling together. Jade smelled like fresh air, and earth and old spices and Tori felt herself go weak at the knees despite lying down on her own kitchen table. Jade moved an inch, almost kissing Tori but then pulling away again.
"Jade" Tori groaned at this torture.
"Nobody's gonna love you like I love you".
Tori froze. She glanced back up to Jade and saw her face. "What?" Tori swallowed.
"I'm always gonna be here, with you" Jade whispered against Tori's lips, sending sensations all the down through Tori's body, "Drama and high school and lust and pain and even death… I'm never going to leave you".
Tori let out a heavy breath. "Why are you saying this-".
"I think you know why" Jade whispered against Tori's neck. She glanced her head over to the right and Tori followed her gaze. Standing in her living room suddenly was Cat, Andre, Beck, Robbie and Rex, all dressed in black.
All dressed for a funeral.
"What-" Tori gasped.
"Isn't it the ones that love you that always leave?" Jade answered Tori's unasked question.
Tori propped herself up on her elbows, bringing herself right flush against Jade. She hesitantly looked over and saw what everyone was staring at on the ground. It was Jade, dressed in the dress Tori had bought her for her birthday. She was lying still on the ground, flowers resting on her chest.
"No" Tori shook her head, tears swarming into her eyes. She fought to get up but the other Jade held her back firmly. She glanced up the girl on top of her, "Why are you doing this, Jade?".
"Because you know you can never be happy, Tori" Jade whispered as she stroked Tori's head, "Because when you're happy, bad things happen. Bad things will always happen".
Tori felt hot streaming tears run down her cheeks.
The bell of the oven suddenly went off and Jade smiled, "Oh, cupcakes are ready. Are you hungry Tori?" she jumped off Tori and went to the oven. Tori used this opportunity to scramble off the kitchen table and run into her living room.
"Jade?" Tori bent down and checked for a pulse, "Jade, can you hear me?" she pried open one of Jade's eyelids and when that didn't work, she slapped her across the cheek.
"That wasn't very nice" Jade said from the kitchen as she bit into a cupcake, "These are very good Tori".
Tori glared at the Jade in the kitchen and then glanced back to the Jade before her. Why wasn't she moving? Just move for fuck sake!
"Jade" Tori could barely control her sobbing, "Please wake up. Come on Jade, wake up, wake up!" she reached out and grabbed Jade by the shoulders, shaking her violently. When that didn't work, Tori pulled Jade into her arms and sat with the deceased girl, sobbing as she rocked back and forth.
"Wow, all the dramatics for somebody who said they could handle being just friends" Jade raised her eyebrows in a mocking way as she bit into another cupcake.
"I am her-your friend" Tori whispered back.
"Well anyway, back to the porno" Jade tossed the rest of her cupcake aside, "Do you wanna go upstairs and…" she raised her eyebrows suggestively.
"No" Tori gritted through her teeth, swallowing a lump in her dry throat. She continued to gently rock Jade's body back and forth in her arms, incoherently mumbling out a children's nursery rhyme that used to make her feel safe at night.
Jade walked from the kitchen into the living room and sat on the floor next to Tori, leaning her back against the couch.
"What are you doing?" Tori whispered, her eyes never leaving the fixed spot on the wall in front of her.
"I meant it when I said I'm never going to leave you" Jade replied solemnly. There was silence and then Jade asked, "Got any magazines?".
"And then we both sat there, for a really long time" Tori finished, wincing slightly as she waited for Lane's feedback.
"Get out" Lane deadpanned.
"What?" Tori gasped. Lane reached over, helped her off and couch and directed her to the door.
"Tori, your problems are mundane at best and that 'provocative' dream? Honey please, I've had daydreams about fish and chips that's more provocative. You're a smart girl, your dream represents the fact that you hate that you and Jade have to be just friends because you love each other. The dream also symbolises your fear of losing people you love and the fact that whenever you're really, truly happy, you feel like something goes wrong to screw it all up" he paused, "We've all had the naughty poor-student-randy-landlord-dream. It doesn't mean your problems are unique. In fact, you want real problems, I'll give you some. Me. I've got real problems, first of all, this isn't my real hair, this is a hair transplant, second of all, I have a twin! Yeah, a twin! And he's this really successful businessman and what am I? Oh yeah, I'm just the hippie who counsels horny teenagers!" he opened his door.
Tori quickly stepped through it and turned to face Lane.
"I cancelled my mani-pedi for this!" Lane cried as he slammed the door shut in Tori's face.
"Rude much?" Tori muttered to herself as she straightened her jacket and tried to compose herself.
"Hey Tori-dory" Andre said he as he walked over to his best friend, "You look a little tired, did you sleep last night?".
"Barely, I had this weird dream" Tori replied.
"Did it involve a car bomb and a high car speed chase with Lionel Richie?" Andre asked, "Because if so, I've had that dream".
"No" Tori shook her head, amused.
"Oh was it about Jade?" Andre's eyebrows went up mischievously.
"What was about Jade?" Jade's voice entered the conversation as she strolled over to them with a cup of large coffee in her hand. She yawned and glanced over to Tori and Andre, "Don't make me ask again".
"Lane wanted to see me this morning" Tori blurted out "And Andre was just asking if the reason Lane wanted to see me was about you, cause, you know we had that fight a while back, with the tackling and the water throwing".
"Oh" Jade took a long sip of her coffee, "So was it?".
"Was what?" Tori asked.
"Was it about our fight?" Jade asked annoyedly, accompanied by another yawn.
"No, it wasn't" Tori shook her head, "It was about… Lane's own personal stuff… He had this hair transplant and his twin brother's really successful so I told him.. You know… 'Lane, don't you go putting yourself down because-'".
"Please stop talking" Jade sighed tiredly as she took another sip of coffee.
Thank god, Tori said to herself. Any longer, and she would have come off looking like a rambling lunatic.
"Tired, are we Jade?" Andre asked with amusement as they began walking down the school corridor.
"Shut up, it's not funny" Jade replied, "I slept two hours last night, it was ridiculous".
"Bad dreams?" Andre asked Jade but he threw Tori a look which she responded to by punching him in the arm.
Andre suppressed a groan of pain as Jade said, "More like bad thoughts".
"The plot thickens" Andre muttered to himself.
"Only three weeks until Easter break!" Cat's happy voice sang to Sikowitz's class as she jumped through the doorway.
"Cat, how lovely of you to interrupt my class!" Sikowitz cried, standing up, "So, what did your Doctor say?".
"Oh I don't have a ruptured spleen" Cat waved her hand out dismissively, "But, I checked my calendar right after it and I realised that it's three weeks until Easter break!".
"Yes, eggs, chocolate, bunnies" Jade rolled her eyes from her place in her chair, "What's the big deal, red?".
"The big deal is" Andre grinned suddenly, "Because that's when I decided we're all going to Spain!".
"Oh mama, I keep forgetting I've got that to look forward to!" Sikowitz cried suddenly, "Spain with my favourite people!".
The rest of the class stayed silent, some even glared.
"I wouldn't expect much from this holiday" Tori said from her position.
"What's up with you, grumpy Tor?" Beck frowned.
"Trina's coming" Tori reminded him with a fallen face.
"What?" Sikowitz's mouth dropped open, "I'm sorry, what? Something must be wrong with my hearing because it sounded like you said Trina's coming and that's not possible because everyone hates Trina" he pulled on his ear nervously, "Right?".
"It's a long story Sikowitz" Andre ignored the crazy teacher's expression and shrugged, "Trina did us all a favour and we kind of need to return it, so to speak".
"Did us a favour?" Robbie cocked his eyebrow, "That's putting it nicely. Seriously Tori, your sister is pure evil sometimes".
"Oh" Sikowitz suddenly realised, "So she blackmailed you all. Well, good old Trina. I take it I don't want to know what she blackmailed you with?".
"Not even slightly" Jade muttered.
"Fantastic" Sikowitz sat down, "It wasn't about the sugar thing was it?" he frowned.
"What sugar thing?" Tori asked.
"This was pre-Tori-at-Hollywood-Arts" Robbie said to Tori, then turning to Sikowitz, "Nothing to do with the sugar".
Sikowitz heaved a sigh of relief.
"What sugar thing?" Tori asked again, desperate to know.
"Just another situation where your sister decided to throw her big fat head into where it's not wanted" Jade told Tori with an annoyed glare.
"Sometimes it is hard to believe you both came from the same genetic hosts" Sikowitz murmured as he smiled at Tori.
"See, that's where I disagree" Jade leaned forwards, "Tori and Trina possess the same kind of selfishness, but Trina's is more planned, thought-out, manipulated… whereas Tori's is just like something she doesn't even know she's doing, like ignorance".
Tori's jaw dropped, "Not true!".
"Hang on" Cat's dreamy voice floated into the conversation, "Actually Jade might have a point".
"What?" Tori gasped offensively.
"I'm intrigued" Sikowitz said as he stroked his chin, "Tell me more".
"Okay" Jade shot Tori a heartbeat-skipping grin, "Tori's second day of Hollywood Arts; she kissed Beck, my then-boyfriend".
"That was acting" Tori defended herself, "And let's not forget, on my first day there, you poured coffee all over me and kept calling me a 'dog'".
"Acting's not the reason you kissed Beck and you know it" Jade replied with a smirk, "You kissed him as revenge, to spite me. You know what that equals? Selfish".
Tori folded her arms, pursing her lips into a line angry line. "Okay fine, what else have I done that's selfish?" she asked aggressively.
"You wrote a song for Trina's birthday week" Cat pointed her petite finger Tori's way.
"Hey! I helped her with that" Andre frowned, "That was an amazing song".
"Yeah, I worked my ass off on that song, how was that selfish?" Tori asked.
"Oh come on" Jade rolled her eyes, "Do we need to spell it out? Trina's birthday week is supposed to be all about Trina. You and Andre wrote the song all cute about Trina, but at the end of the day, it was all about Tori getting dolled up and Tori performing it and Tori prancing around on her kitchen worktop. Was Trina's name even mentioned in it once? Selfish".
"I refuse to accept that one" Tori snapped, "Trina took that song and sold it".
"Oh I've got one" Sikowitz waved his arm in the air suddenly, "She got Beck fired off his big break on that movie with Melinda Murray".
"I got him that job back!" Tori cried back.
"Only after I told you to" Jade smirked, "And even then, it wasn't about Beck getting the job anymore, it was about Crystal Waters causing Melinda Murray's hand to be shot and freeing the cast and crew from her bitchy attitude. Selfish".
Tori glared at the stylish goth next to her.
"Oh remember my short-time boyfriend Daniel?" Cat said suddenly, "Well, Tori covered Daniel and I in hot cheese and then kissed him".
"Selfish!" Jade cried in a sing-song voice.
Tori felt her face flame up with embarrassment. If only they'd known why she'd really kissed Daniel. Jade and Beck were all coupled up and then Cat and Daniel… She can remember feeling so completely alone and isolated so when she knew Jade would walk in, she reached out impulsively and kissed her ex… except, it wasn't Jade who had walked in. It had been Cat.
"I am really sorry for that Cat" Tori winced, "I wish I could take it back all the time".
"I already forgave you, Tori" Cat smiled back innocently.
"Oh, what about the time Tori ditched us for that stupid singing competition and then left me, Robbie and Beck to deal with Trina's bloody gums?" Andre interrupted, "I'm still traumatised from that".
"Andre!" Tori cried.
"Sorry Tor, but I am traumatised" Andre shrugged.
"Selfish" Jade added triumphantly.
"I ditched them for you and Cat" Tori bit back, "You two practically begged me to go, and why that's? Oh maybe it's because you both know I'm the only one who could beat Tara and Hayley".
"A monkey could have bet them" Jade folded her arms, "The only reason we needed you was because you could sing, and to look ugly, of course".
"Of course" Tori rolled her eyes.
"Oh Trina's accident!" Robbie cried gleefully, "Remember? When Trina 'accidentally' fell? Tori was directing that play and Jade saw her fighting with Trina".
"I did, didn't I?" Jade grinned playfully.
"Stop the freaking bus!" Tori interrupted, "We all agreed it was a technical fault, that metal was so old, that was Health and Safety's fault. Go on, hit me with another".
"My play" Jade said with narrowed eyes, "It was already planned out and everything and you just waltzed in and took it over like it meant nothing to me. You know what that equals? Selfish".
"Sikowitz was the one who said I could do it that Saturday" Tori glared back, "Besides, it's not like you didn't get your jollies anyway, you completely wrecked the Prome".
"Excuses, excuses" Jade replied.
"Hang on a minute" Tori sat up in her chair properly, "You cannot point out all of my flaws like I've never done anything good. Jade, did I turn you in for lying about giving you a black eye? No. Didn't I also help you and Beck get back together the first time you broke up? And I helped you with your other play, all the funding and the location, remember? And I got us out that jam at that expensive restaurant by singing! I practically raised Rex from the dead when everyone else was ready to let him die! I also gave Robbie multitude of my blood, which Jade got rid of, I made sure Trina wasn't kicked out by Helen, I helped Andre get his A in Song Writing Class, I devised the get-out-of-Yerba-plan, and set Sikowitz up on many dates when I thought he was feeling lonely. Ha!".
"Wanting to be praised for doing good deeds just proves that you are selfish" Jade rolled her eyes.
"Please, you've all done selfish stuff" Tori pointed out, "Sikowitz, you abandoned us when we didn't have enough money for that expensive meal, Robbie you started Robarazzi and trashed us all, several times. Cat, you and Trina selfishly stopped for ice cream instead of getting the solvent back to me in time for my important performance, and let's not forget the time you abandoned us for hours at the beach while you partied with other people, leaving us trapped inside the sweating RV. And remember the time Cat, Andre, and Beck left me to write our script homework by myself, while I was on a stuffy plane?".
"You left out me" Jade smirked.
"Your list is far too long" Tori snapped back.
"We've all done good stuff too" Beck replied, "I did the stunt fall for you, Tori, remember?".
"Jade threw me off it anyway" Tori pointed out.
"Okay enough bickering" Sikowitz stood up, "The main thing is that we're all selfish and all good, sometimes at the same time. Now, let's get back to teaching" he glanced around the class and frowned, noticing that the only ones left in the room were Cat, Andre, Beck, Robbie, Jade and Tori. "When did everyone else leave?" Sikowitz gaped.
The others looked around, noticing the empty classroom with confusion also.
Tori was halfway out the door when she heard Jade's voice telling someone to get out her way. She fought her rising heartbeat as she heard Jade say her name like a predator.
"Tori" Jade began to walk in step with the taller girl, "I'm glad I found finally found you alone".
A blush crept into Tori's cheeks as she tried to keep her cool. "Oh yeah? Why's that then?".
"So you can really tell me why you were talking about me earlier" Jade folded her arms, "Remember, earlier? With Andre, outside Lane's office, you made up some stupid story about Lane's problems… And you and Andre were talking about me… So, what's the 411?".
Tori bit the inside of her cheek and sighed. Then she admitted, "I was telling Andre about my dream… and you were in it".
Jade's face lit up with a kind of energy only Jade could possess, "Tell me more".
Tori hesitated. She could not go into detail about her dream when she and Jade agreed to just be friends. Why were they even doing that again? Oh yeah, because Jade wasn't ready to let Tori in and Tori wasn't ready to let Jade go. Something like that. Almost kind of like self-torture, of the good variety. Tori reasoned the only way she could pass this off was if she followed the truth as closely as she could.
"I dreamt you died, in my living room, while I was baking red velvet cupcakes" Tori replied, "And I tried to wake you up, by slapping you".
"You always dream about my death, Vega?" Jade asked interestedly.
"Never" Tori admitted freely, "Most of my dreams are about baking, and clowns, and sometimes even clowns that bake. So, what are your dreams about Jade?".
Jade stiffened and then she ran her tongue along her lips. "They're the stuff of nightmares usually, scissors and bathtubs and blood and strange rubber devices".
Tori fought a grin, "I won't be too offended I don't feature in them often then".
"What are you talking about?" Jade replied as she began to walk away, "You're the supporting actress to my lead role".
Tori wasn't sure how long she stood there for, but it was only after she had watched Jade disappear round the corner that she tucked her hair behind her ear, smiled and headed for the opposite direction.