A/N: So, I go back to (what I consider, anyway) my home country for a few days. And on the – frankly, hideously – long plane trip over there, I came up with this.
I love klangst (and enjoy writing it) a bit too much than is probably healthy.
Some references to another of my Glee fics, Lost in Rochester. You don't need to read it to understand this (but it would be great if you did!).
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still don't own it.
Kurt Hummel didn't have many regrets. Senior year in Lima had been rather merciful in the regrets department. Well, apart from one.
They'd had a fight. It wasn't a disagreement, not a petty argument, but a full-fledged, destroying fight. And destroy, it did.
He couldn't even remember what they had been fighting about. Probably Karofsky or some new Warbler flirting with Blaine. Something idiotic like that.
What if they'd patched it up? Where would they be now? He might be engaged to Blaine instead of Daley, maybe even married. But he wasn't.
In two months he was going to be Mr. Corthan-Hummel. He couldn't think about Blaine like this anymore. It had been six years. He had a degree in Musical Theatre from NYADA, he had a fiancé. Blaine had been just a first boyfriend. Time to move on.
Daley had said that he didn't expect Kurt to ever completely forget Blaine. After all, they'd been firsts. You never did forget that.
But the funny thing was that Blaine had pledged forever so many times, and Daley not even once. Kurt refused to read into that, though. He couldn't. It was just that Daley was the epitome of cynicism (even more than Kurt, and that was saying something), while Blaine had been a mildly religious Christian.
It wasn't a plausible explanation, Kurt knew. But he couldn't let his mind run with it. He wasn't leaving Daley for a wild goose chase. Blaine was a high school lover; their relationship had about as much worth as a summer romance. He and Daley were engaged. It was time to forget Blaine.
What if he saw Blaine? What if Blaine walked past him in the street? Would he stop him?
Probably. If he could get Blaine back, if fate was on his side for once in his life, maybe Blaine would come to Rochester and they'd pass each other in the street. Maybe Kurt would stop him. He might even slip off his engagement ring. Blaine wouldn't need to know. But he'd definitely break up with Daley, if they saw each other. Because it was so obvious that they'd get back together.
Ha. Like that would ever happen. Blaine would be off studying law or medicine at some Ivy League school, or something clever like that. Why would he come to Rochester?
Daley was good to him. He made Kurt happy, even if his dad and Carole hadn't warmed to him as they had to Blaine. Kurt just had to accept him, and stop daydreaming. It was all over now.
It was two days before the wedding. He was nearly there to having to truly forget Blaine. He'd been clinging to the happiest memories for the past fortnight, still not truly wanting to let him go.
He wanted to, really. He wanted to have a happy life with Daley. He really did. But some part of him had to keep asking 'what if'.
He supposed that he knew what Blaine would be doing. While Daley kissed the top of his head and whispered mollifying words into his ear when he started to overstress about the whole wedding, Blaine would have gone all out.
He would have found Kurt's favourite Judy Garland CD or that old, hardly listened-to-anymore Wicked CD and put it on, before dancing with him. Because Blaine knew it calmed Kurt down. He'd whisper to Kurt too, but instead of 'Relax' it would be phrases like 'I love you so much' and 'You're so beautiful'.
Kurt jerked from his daydream, wiping away tears he hadn't realised he'd been crying. That was Blaine. This was Daley. He'd better get used to the difference, because it wasn't going away. Not ever.
Kurt looked up from his menu, still waiting for Daley to arrive, and there he was. Kurt blinked, pinched himself, making sure that it wasn't just his mind's overactive imagination. But no. Blaine was actually here, in Rochester.
Kurt stood, about to leave the restaurant, right hand already fumbling with the ring on his left. The restaurant door opened. Kurt wished desperately it wasn't Daley, because Blaine had seen him. Blaine had seen Kurt, and Kurt wasn't losing him, not again. Not after all this heartache, all the sleepless nights. He couldn't.
A hand was on his shoulder, and Daley's lips on his, caring but unwanted. Kurt let the ring in his right hand slip through his fingers and clang on the cold floor. And when Daley pulled away in shock at the sound, Kurt could only offer him a half-shrug, whispering "I just saw Blaine".
But Blaine had gone.
A/N: I'm sorry. I adore writing this stuff. I'd never read it, though. Too much sadness & not enough Klainebows. (For those of you who've read Lost in Rochester, Blaine seems to be coming back to Rochester an awful lot, doesn't he? ;) I should probably find somewhere else for them to live… or have Kurt move.)
But in all seriousness, I do think it's realistic. Because high school is not where (generally) lasting partners are found. However, it's unlikely for him to ever fully forget Blaine – you never do forget your first. So yeah. On that belief, this happened.
I know I tend to rambled. As that ^ proved. So I'll stop there.