Notes: READ IF YOU'RE CONFUSED/IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND MY (LAME) JOKES!
I have no idea who was on the League council in 1921 so I just used the nations that were always in the council: Italy (just remembered I should have had 2 Italies), Japan, England, and France. Canada did not propose the solution to the Aland Dispute. I have no idea who did and I figured none of the nations in the permanent council (leastways the way I portrayed them) would. The autonomy thing is a joke because England owned half the world (including Canada) and then, after a bunch of his colonies proclaimed independence, he gave a kind of independence to the others, called autonomy. That means that in the end, the English government is still in charge of Australia, Trinidad, etc. (I'm not 100% sure, but I think Canada is no longer subject to autonomy). The thing about Finnish being a weird language is because it is. Swedish is related to the other Northern languages which are relatives of Germanic/German, and are Indo-European languages. Finnish is not an Indo-European langauge but a Finno-Ulgric one, of which only Finnish and Estonian exist. (All other languages in Europe besides Hungarian and Basque are Indo-European.). France speaks a lot of French in this story because I speak a little French, so I know how to say things. I do not speak Italian, Finnish, Swedish, or Japanese, so most of the time, I used google translate. If it's wrong tell me.
I don't own Hetalia. Warning: OoC,but hey, it's history!
The Aland Island Dispute.
A fairly tall male with wheat-blond hair buried his face in his hands as he sobbed. Across from him, a few feet away stood another male, extremely tall in height, glasses-clad, blond hair. Next to him stood a child with almost white hair and a raggedy light blue dress. She held his hand. These weren't people though, they were nations. Well, two of them were, the girl was a territory. The tall one was Sweden, the crying one Finland.
"N-not fair! She was with me when Russia had us!" Finland cried.
"She was with me before that." Sweden responded calmly and quietly in a very low-pitched voice. Finland still heard him, though.
"But now is now, that was a long time ago!" Finland objected.
"I want to stay with pappa." the girl said, a little forcefully, but in the same manner Sweden had. Finland burst into fresh tears.
"Not fair! Ei ole reilua!" Finland exclaimed once again, slipping into his own language. Aland and Sweden only stared at him.
"Um, excuse me, would you like some help?" asked a fairly quiet voice from behind Finland. The three previously introduced characters turned to face the bushy-browed man. "I've referred the problem to the League of Nations, and we'd gladly help you." The nation of England explained. Aland looked to her 'pappa' asking silently what his decision was. He was about to nod when Finland yelled.
"Ei! No way, you aren't sticking your nose into our private matters, you freeloader! This is an internal problem!" The previously crying man yelled, face red from tears and anger.
"All right, all right!" England responded, backing away from them. "Are you sure you'll be all right?" he asked, looking at Aland. She nodded silently and stiffly. The nations behind England, aka the current League of Nations Council and England turned and left, and a creepy giggle could be heard from miles away.
- meanwhile -
"What shall we do?" England asked, standing at the head of the nation-covered table.
"About what?" a childish voice chimed. That voice belonged to the ditzy nation of Italy. Well, North Italy. England resisted the urge to slam his head against the table. Hard. Repeatedly. He took a deep breath.
"About the Aland Island Crisis."
"The what?" asked Italy again.
"Islands, between Sweden and Finland. They're having a territorial dispute." England said through clenched teeth angrily. It was all he could do not to scream and make the ditzy nation cry or wave a white flag in his face.
"Speak up, eyebrow bastard, no one can hear you!" South Italy, or Romano threw in his two cents.
"Shut up yourself, you bothersome dolt!" England yelled back.
"Messieurs, we have to come to a conclusion, or their beautiful relationship will be ruined!" France called across the screaming, for once being sane. England calmed himself down and Romano resorted to glaring and mumbling curses. Not that England wasn't doing that. No, of course not.
"I agree with France." Japan's calm and quiet voice fluttered through the mostly quiet room. England nodded, much calmer.
"For once, the frog is right. We do have to do something about it. Our purpose is to avoid wars, Frog of all people understands well, and the situation over the Aland dispute is almost at that point already." England explained deflating.
"Non. Angleterre is wrong!" France called. England glared at him disbelievingly. "They can fix the problems in their relationship with some hot make-up sex."
"What the fuck is your bloody problem you bloody frog!" England yelled again. France sniggered.
"This is all so fucking stupid!" Romano complained loudly.
"Finland snapped for King Arthur's sake! Finland!" England continued ranting.
"Ve~ Santa?" Italy commented.
"Yes, Italy-san." Japan answered him.
"Snapped, ve~? That means he went bad?" Italy asked. Japan nodded.
"We need to get him back, ve! Santa can't be bad!" Italy yelled. England stopped trying to strangle France as they both stared disbelievingly at Italy with mouths agape. "We have to give Santa Ally Island, or he'll be mad and cry and kill everyone!" Italy continued.
"What do the rest of you think of his proposition?" England asked, still shocked. "All in favour say 'Aye'." A mismatched chorus of 'Aye's were heard.
"E-excuse me, but, if we are to judge fairly and evenly, we must also keep in mind the interests of Aland and Sweden." Japan said so quietly almost no one could hear him.
"But, I don't want Santa to kill me, ve~!" Italy objected.
"No, Japan is correct." England added, "We have give something to Sweden, especially as Aland also wishes to remain with Sweden." The phone in the corner of the room started ringing. Japan, being closest to it, answered. He nodded.
"I've changed my mind. Finland should certainly gain custody of the islands." Japan interrupted. This time all the nations stared incredulously at Japan.
"What is wrong with all of you today? Japan changing his mind, Italy feeling strongly about something." England mumbled.
"Just split the fucking islands in half!" Romano suggested, in the roughest sense of the word.
"You can't just split things like that! Can you imagine the psychological consequences that would have on Aland?" England objected.
"What? We're doing fine!" Romano yelled back.
"You were born as two, not as only one. Splitting a country is different." France added.
"The frog's being sane. Oh god, what is going to happen to our world?" England mumbled.
"I have an idea!" exclaimed Canada. Really, he had been yelling the same thing since the meeting had been called but right now was the first time anyone heard him. That anyone being France.
"Mon Canada! Que veux-tu dire?" France asked. The other nations noticed the ghostly nation for the first time.
"I want to say that, since Italy seems fixed on leaving the Aland Islands to Finland, and we need to grant something to Sweden in the deal, I propose we hand the Islands to Finland, but give them autonomy." He paused a little to look at England with the word autonomy, "That way Aland can choose her own language and culture despite being a Finnish island." A moment of silence ensued.
"I agree." England said slowly.
"The faster this damned meeting ends." Romano said. Which everyone knew meant 'I agree'.
"Ok!" Italy. Japan nodded.
"Certainement." France added. Canada's smile was just about huge right then. THEY REMEMBERED HIM ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO HIS INPUT AND AGREE TO IT! Sadly, his joy was short-lived, as the nations began to argue again within seconds. Romano stomped out of the room, Italy at his heels yelling "FRATTELLO~!" Japan excused himself, as did the non-permanent members of the council. That left England and France in their usual 'trying to murder each other' thing. Canada sighed and left the room also.
- later -
Aland waved goodbye to her pappa as she sat on a rowboat headed to the Finnish area of her islands back-to-back with her isä. Sweden waved back to her forlornly. Finland smiled in a weird half-malicious, half-innocent way that most people associated with Russia. Of course, Finland didn't even notice he was doing it.
Aland spend most of her time on her bigger island, the ones closer to Sweden. She continued to speak the more normal language of Sweden and to live in her Swedish-based culture. But she still belonged to Finland. The only time she spoke Finnish was when talking to him, though she understood Finnish perfectly and he understood Swedish just as well.
Pappa - "Daddy" in Swedish
Ei ole reilua - "Not fair" in Finnish.
Ei - "No" in Finnish
Messieurs - "Gentlemen" in French.
Non - "No" in French
Angleterre - "England" in French
Hai - "Yes" in Japanese
Mon Canada! - "My Canada!" in French.
Que veux-tu dire? - "What would you like to say" or "What do you want to say?" in French
Certainement - "Certainly" in French.
Fratello - "Brother" in Italian
Isä - "Daddy" in Finnish