N/A: I'm no expert on music. Or love. This fic also went through a lot of versions (one was absolutely depressing). But what the heck. Here goes...this version. OOC I know but for a good reason.



Chiaki Shinichi had finally lost it.

No...He still had all his unruly (and sometimes styled with gel only on special occasions) hair. He was way too young to be going bald right now.

Yep. Not a single strand of white hair yet.

He didn't lose his material possessions either. He didn't lose his fortune or his fame.

He didn't sleep on the sidewalk. There was no way he would live on the streets or under a bridge. Chiaki and dirt don't mix. His apartment was always squeaky clean. He even cleaned for another person so many times that he lost count. He called it charity work before. Then he became too embarrassed to admit the real reason why. Too embarrassed to say it out loud.

He didn't fight for scraps of food found in trash bins everyday. He didn't mingle or fight for space with people covered in grease and dirt. He, Shinichi Chiaki would not for the life of him...smell horrible, look pitiful and...and beg. Ever.

Though it reminded him of a girl who lived in her trash, didn't take bath for days, and constantly begged for food and his affection. He caved in eventually. He cleaned her room before he even knew her personally, washed her hair once, cooked every night for her and realized that he couldn't live without her.

He could ask help from his mother if he needed money but his pride wouldn't let him. No. He was no Mama's boy. Like hell was he gonna ask help from his father either! He of all people had the common sense to work in case a situation should arise.

The great Chiaki from conductor to delivery boy...he couldn't suppress a shudder.

What was he thinking? Of course he can get a job better than that. He could...maybe...no that's insane...well...maybe...no that's...fine. Hmm...maybe he could try..modeling? Modeling seems...uh...appropriate. He's...handsome isn't he?

Yes he was famous. In fact he was still in the papers. Many articles were written about his career and personal life. The latter however was much to his annoyance. They should just leave his personal life alone. His handsome face graced the cover of many magazines. He had numerous TV appearances.

Ah...all the other interviews he turned down. All those reporters he had to run from...

Can't a guy buy underwear in peace?

He saw an article the next day about his undergarments of choice. He angrily rolled the newspaper while muttering "stupid paparazzi" under his breath. He threw it without looking and it hit her directly in the face. She fell with a loud "Gyabo!". He helped her get up from the floor after a few seconds of shock. When did she get in his apartment?

No more loud knocks on the door then hugging him to death (along with a loud Senpai!) when he answered it. Next thing he finds her in his apartment, her things all over the place and as usual she acts like his "wife".

He just sighs and resumes cooking. Chiaki found out minutes later that she actually kept the newspaper clipping from this morning.


He chuckled at the memory.

Well his sanity was still intact. In a sense however, he could tell that a fraction of it was slowly crumbling...diminishing. No he didn't want to think about it. Not now.

But still he could see it...with eyes that twitched nonstop. He would be screaming at the top of his lungs as he fell into the dark abyss. While at the same time on the surface, he would be rolling on the floor laughing. He would be wearing a strait jacket. An obvious sign that he had lost all of his sanity.

Chiaki shook his head.

It was late and he still couldn't get some needed shuteye. His mind wouldn't let him sleep no matter how much weary he felt.


It must be the alcohol he consumed. He must have been so drunk to think about such things. Come to think of it, the room swirled a bit. He wondered how things got so far in his head. How could he forget about the huge headache/hangover that would come in the morning. He shrugged. Too late to go back on his actions.

Back to what he really lost...

Well he just...he had finally lost interest in music.

Music had been his life. His passion. He was a musical prodigy. A genius conductor. He was the great Chiaki Shinichi. But all those years of hard work was set aside. Forgotten like the wind. Thrown away like Nodame's burnt and poisonous looking home cooking.

There were more important things. More important things aside from music.

He figured it's been months since he last touched a symphony score. Months since he held an instrument in his hands. The baton was still in its case after all this time and the piano was now very dusty.

It's been months since he heard any music at all. Not even a single CD. Before it used to soothe him, now he didn't want to lift it up from the cd rack.

It's been months since they had that dreadful accident.

The accident where Nodame Chiaki (yes they got married years later after becoming the Golden Pair) lost all of her memories. She forgot about the past...her childhood,student life at the academy and the conservatoire in Paris, her otaku and hentai tendencies, the way she played the piano and...him.

They were on the way home from a successful concert. They had a car crash and barely escaped with their lives. Chiaki was bandaged all over. He had lost a lot of blood,had bruises and broken bones. Nodame however, was in a coma. She lost a lot of blood too and was bandaged in some places. No broken bones though but she hit her head pretty hard.

News about the incident quickly spread like wildfire.

They had a lot of visitors. Both Chiaki's mentors Sebastian Vierra and Franz Stresemann came. His and Nodame's relatives also arrived along with their friends from Japan and Paris: Mine,Kiyora,Masumi,Kuroki,Tanya,Frank,Yun Long,Rui,Luca and many others. Even Elise and his father, Chiaki Masayuki came to see them.

Chiaki was very grateful for their support. If it weren't for his mother who was always at his side and for all of their friends, he'd already crumble into pieces and wished that he would die.

As for his father,it was very awkward. It was because he still hated him but he was surprised nonetheless.

Weeks passed by and Shinichi eventually recovered physically. Nodame didn't wake however. He was officially discharged from the hospital but he never left it much except only to get essential things like clothes and food. Shinichi sat by her side day and night (his mother had to go back abroad for business and their friends had their own separate lives). He talked to her endlessly. Sometimes he yelled at her and shook her arms to wake her up but to no avail. He would then apologize immediately.

Sometimes he was very quiet. Sometimes he would cry. He would hold her hand while he did and eventually would fall asleep.

There was a day that some of their friends (namely Tanya and Kuroki) had to drag out him of the room so he can eat and bathe (he was helped by only Kuroki in that matter). Chiaki looked like in a trance and they couldn't talk to him at all. His hair was a mess and he smelled bad. He was also thin and pale and looked like he didn't eat for days.

Tanya saw him flinch as she reprimanded ironically the once perfect Chiaki on his behavior (though it was reasonable why he acted like such). She reminded him that Nodame would be worried if she saw him like this. Chiaki knew the first thing that Nodame would say when she wakes up: "You look like hell senpai".

Nodame woke up 2 months later. Chiaki hugged her like there was no tomorrow. She however had no recollection of past events and stared at her husband with wide eyes. First there was disbelief then Chiaki felt like the world was crashing down on him.

He was eternally grateful that she finally woke up but he didn't expect this at all. She forgot about everything...including him.

Chiaki told her everything that there was to tell. She was speechless. It was weird after a few hours because she had a different personality. She wasn't the hentai/otaku/weirdo he knew anymore.

He had to be strong. He said a thousand times to himself like a mantra that eventually she'll remember. Eventually she'll remember him. They'll do a lot of things together. He'll let her glomp him even in public and sniff him as long as she liked. He'll cook her favorite meals a thousand times and watch endless marathons of Puri Gurota with her. Probably have lots of children...

He snapped out of his reverie to see her giggle and waving her hand in front of his face. He was told he suddenly spaced out. He asked "How long have I been staring?". She replied without looking at him, in a voice that was barely a whisper but he heard it anyway "Not much. Only just for an eternity". He smiled at her because she was his wife and he loved her no matter what.

With a heavy heart he heard the doctor's final diagnosis of her condition: There was a huge possibility that Nodame will not remember anything about the past...ever.

He didn't and wouldn't believe a word of it. He Chiaki Shinichi would never give up.

Weeks later she was discharged from the hospital.

They just got home from the hospital after spending 6 months there. The house felt lonely. Foreign.

It was weird having Nodame so quiet. Shy. Dare he say it...absolutely and perfectly normal. Her hair always tied up in a neat ponytail now.

He cooked for two like he did in the past but there was silence during the meal. It was unbearable. She praised him for his culinary skills but he missed the noise. The silly noises...the haun,gyabo or mukya she used to make and the endless pit of a stomach she had when she devoured her food very fast. Now she ate slowly...very ladylike. She noticed he was staring at her. Chiaki hastily took a bite and looked away, flushing.

He insisted on sleeping on the sofa for the night. He decided that it was going to be awkward for her if they slept together in one bed. She shook her head and told him it was all right since they were married. He smiled at how cute she looked when she was blushing while she said that. He told her he would be just fine on the sofa. He convinced himself that he could handle it but did not deny missing her. It will be just for tonight or two. Longer than that however he couldn't tell.

She then proposed to use pillows as barrier between them. He almost gave in but insisted that he'll be fine on the sofa. Albeit reluctant, she obliged and wished him good night. She went out after a few minutes to give him a pillow and a blanket then asked him again. He smiled (noticing her blushing as a red tomato yet again) then thanked her for the pillow and blanket but again refused the offer.

He watched her as she left and went inside the bedroom. He couldn't sleep. His mind wouldn't let him. He tried cleaning the house instead. He had to be subtle to make sure he didn't wake Nodame. After an hour the house was spotless clean.

He resorted to drinking wine instead. After consuming the whole bottle, he went back to the sofa (more like walked sluggishly) and stared once again at the ceiling.

He hugged his pillow tighter. He glared at the lizard on the ceiling and watched it as it moved. It better not fall on his face or anywhere on him. Or his mouth. He closed his mouth shut just to be sure. Cobwebs were on the ceiling as well. The neat freak in him had the urge to remove it but his body didn't budge from its position. It will have to wait for tomorrow.

There was one thing he will never lose though. Even with all the ups and downs, he will never lose his love for Nodame.

He'll cancel all of his plans for the week. His mind was set on resigning as conductor for the Roux Marlet orchestra. He just lost interest in music. Music now to him was like a bitter taste in the mouth...a distant memory. Like his wife, he wanted people to enjoy his music but now he was in no condition to do so. He didn't want to conduct just for the sake of having a job either.

He decided that he'll spend his whole undivided attention on his wife the whole week. No he would do it forever. Ironically she requested piano lessons from him during his spare time. After learning that she was a famous pianist, she told him that she wanted to relearn the piano. Now he would have lots of time thanks to his plan. He would think about things thoroughly once he's sober.

He pressed his forehead outside her...no...their bedroom door. Oh...how he missed her right now. He was tempted to take a peek at his sleeping wife but stopped himself. He could wake her up. Or he might (despite his initial resolve to stay on the sofa) decide to crawl on the bed, hug her from behind and stay there. Either way will surprise her and he didn't want to think of any violent reactions but still...

He stayed outside. He smiled as his eyelids felt now very heavy. Then he finally fell asleep right there.