A Notice, From Me to My Readers



Our dog, Treasure, passed away last Thursday evening on 4/5/2011, just a few days before Easter, around 6:00 or 7:00 PM. She was, I dunno, at least ten, eleven years old, maybe even older. A sweet, dear old golden retriever thoroughbred, she was really starting to show her age near the end but nonetheless still betrayed at times a stubbornly lingering spark of vibrant energy from her youth that refused to be extinguished until the very final hours of her life, when she could nary muster the energy or the strength to shift herself more than a little bit this way or that way.

I was the only one home at the time it happened, though both my brothers and my father had been there earlier and all remarked on how Treasure was just lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway next to her raised food and water dishes. It was quiet, and I was on the computer like I always was, when suddenly I heard thudding and rasping coming from the hallway. I saw Treasure slowly sort of convulsing on the floor, her body shuddering with every clearly labored breath. So I went over and comforted her, talking softly to her and alternately petting her and scratching her ears and sorta rubbing her tummy.

After a while, it started to settle down, so I got up and went back to my room briefly, checked up on my laptop, then I went back through the hallway past Treasure and into the living room to turn off the TV that had been left on by my youngest brother when he had left for work (a flatscreen that my parents had finally picked up a week or so earlier after having had it on lay away for a good while). I don't quite know or remember what was on at the time–even though I absent-mindedly half-watched it for a few seconds while I looked for the remote to turn the TV off–but I think it might have one of those pawn shop shows, based what I can recall of what I saw.

But anyways, when I went back into the hallway to check up on Treasure and make sure she was doing alright, I got down to pet her only to notice that she didn't seem to be moving. At all. So, getting a little nervous, I tried a number of things to check on her vitals based on what little I could recall of first aid from my boy scout days, clumsily feeling for a pulse and listening for breathing or a heartbeat. That last one was inconclusive, though I imagine it was solely because by that point my own heartbeat was fairly thundering in my ears as the conclusion became clearer. As a final test, if only because I was, while not exactly hysterical, still rather distressed and partly refusing to believe what was happening because no this can't be happening no no nononono it can't be real I must be mistaken she's okay, really, she is, she just HAS to be...!, I held my hand an inch or so from her nose to see if I could maybe feel her breath and prove that she's okay and you're just being a worrywart, Tim.

I felt nothing.

As it registered in my mind that Treasure was deaddeaddeaddead, I numbly got out my cell phone and dialed my parents. I can't remember exactly who I tried first, but I do know that my mother was the one to answer. For a moment, I was unable to talk, the words caught in my throat. I was unable to speak, but still I forced myself to, and a few seconds later, standing over Treasure's motionless form, I got out the words, "Mom... this is Tim... I don't think Treasure's breathing."

Naturally, she responded by saying that she and dad would be home as soon as they could, cutting short their weekly night out. With that said and done with, I mumbled an empty farewell and hung up.

I don't know how long I stood over Treasure, just... just staring at her, watching her and doing my best not to think. I think an hour or more may have passed before I finally wrenched myself away from her and sat down on the couch, grabbing my PSP and numbly turning it on and reading some fanfic or other on it.

Eventually, I heard my parents' car come into the driveway, and I got up. They came in, and I showed them over to Treasure. My mother, who is a hospice nurse and has been working as an RN in some manner or other for over well over twenty years, knelt over Treasure and checked her over, sadly remarking that except for a few spots where some heat still lingered, Treasure was completely cold. After that, there was crying to some extent on all our parts as we wrapped Treasure up in a bed sheet (my mother had refused to put her in a garbage bag, and neither I or my father had the heart, or perhaps rather the lack thereof, to disagree with her on that) and sadly said our final goodbyes before I and my father lifted Treasure, wrapped up in the sheet, and carried her down to the basement freezer (which my father had cleared out to make room for Treasure while my mother and I wrapped her up in the sheet) to keep her in until we could bring her in to be cremated.

At the time of writing this, Treasure has not yet to my knowledge been cremated. I do not have the heart to go down to the freezer and check in order to verify this, so I am not entirely one hundred percent certain, but that is immaterial to my point.

Anyways, because of this, and the fact that my medicine, specifically my d-amphetamine, once again ran out well before the pharmacy was able to refill it, I have not had the will or focus to work on any of my writing. Instead, I ended up purchasing and downloading at least four different games over the course of the week for my PSP (Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Impact, Class of Heroes, Corpse Party Musume, and Dead or Alive Paradise, though so far I'm not too impressed with that last one) and the first five episodes of some anime I've heard of called Master of Martial Hearts (though I ended up not having enough room left on the 5GB memory card I'd bought a number of weeks back so that I'd be able to download Final Fantasy VII, since the 1GB memory card I had been using up until then simply did not have remotely enough room on it for the game which measured in at something like a whopping one thousand three hundred something megabytes, if my memory serves right).

I finally got my prescription refilled yesterday, which is how I was able to sit down and write up this notification for you all, and I've mostly come to grips with Treasure's passing (in part thanks to the continuing presence of our cat [well, technically my younger brother's cat, but he shares a flat with two friends and their baby so he doesn't really have room for her and so she lives in the house with us] Bella and the shih tzu-poodle mix puppies Princess and Precious), but I'm not sure when I'll get back to writing fics. Depending on how the cookies crumble, my well of inspiration might either dry up, or I might ultimately get sent into a fevered writing frenzy similar to what ended up happening mid-to-late last summer where I officially renewed and redoubled my work on ONNHc a few weeks after my uncle Scott passed away from cancer, resulting in a string of several 10k+ word chapters that only petered when I started working at Hong Kong (the restaurant and buffet in my town that focuses on Chinese and Szechuan cuisine, not to be confused with the city in China).

So, basically, I might get back to writing and updating my fics as soon as tomorrow, or I might not get back to my fics until as late as three months from now. Hopefully it doesn't take that long, and honestly it probably won't, but you never know for sure.

Well, it feels good to get that monkey off my back, so to speak. Hopefully I'll catch you all again with a proper update sooner rather than later.

Ta-ta for now, folks~