For Emma () for her 14th birthday. :) It was the only thing that would come to me at the time I was writing it, okay? And it just kept going and going… Anyway! Hope you like it Emma! Happy birthday!


'So this is the stupid assignment that the stupid English teacher came up with for her stupid class (AKA my class) to do. I mean I know we're the top class, but come on. An informal full-length autobiography on an event in our life? (That's what she called it. We just called it complaining about how much our life sucks on a bit of paper.) It'll take us ages! And just because we protested about the one we were going to do (going to our parents work and writing an essay about it), she gave us an even worse one. Which I know isn't the point here, but still. It wasn't appreciated.

Yeah, so this is going to be a very long story and probably a very confusing one about my life. If you can't keep up, I don't blame you, I can barely keep up with my life sometimes, (not totally true) but what I'm trying to say is… it's confusing. So I'm just going to say this: This is a miniature story of my life, told by me, focusing on one of the craziest things ever to happen to me. And by the end (and I'm not making the end up, just so you know) you're not going to believe it…

Anyway, I should start by introducing myself I guess. My name is Jamie Victoria Tyler. Yeah, I know right? I don't like it. Not at all. But Mum does. I'm pretty sure it reminds her of Dad, and I think it's her way of remembering him. I asked her about it once and she told me it reminded her of two of her favourite trips with him. That was about when I stopped complaining about it, I know she misses him, and I do too, even though I've never met him. I've heard stories about him though, and he sounds really cool. Mum says it's not his fault that he left and he would have loved to meet me, but he didn't get a choice. I used to believe her completely, I still kinda do believe her I guess, but just not as much.

Ummm… Oh my family isn't exactly normal. My Mum, Rose Marion Tyler is the bravest and strongest and the most stubborn woman you'll ever meet (just don't tell her I said so), but she's also a little weird. She works at Torchwood, they say it's a company that makes new kinds of electronics for the armed forces, but I know its not. Mum keeps up the cover story around all of us anyway and I don't say anything, because it makes her happy, being at Torchwood. She used to say that it was bringing her one step closer to Dad. But she doesn't say that anymore. She used to tell me stories when I was little too, about how she used to travel around with Dad to different planets and times and save the worlds that needed to be saved. But as we all do, I grew up. And y'know what? I don't like it at all. Being grown up sucks!

Uncle Mickey. Yeah him and Mum are really close, he's not really my Uncle though and I'm pretty sure him and Mum were going out before she met Dad, but I prefer not to think of it like that. Teenage brain and all. Gross. I mean I might be a genius, but I'm still a teenager.

But anyway, back to Uncle Mickey. He helped Mum through a lot when I was younger, he helped her look after me and after they'd both had a bit to drink sometimes they'd start sharing stories and laughing, it was nice. And sometimes when they'd had a bit more than a bit (which wasn't very often at all. Like once a year) they'd tell stories about Dad, which was nice too… Until Mum started crying. But as I said Uncle Mickey used to look after me, he still does sometimes, so we're pretty tight. We've even got a handshake and he calls me Nip. Apparently when I was little I bit him. A lot…

Grandma Jackie, she's an interesting one. She's been married twice, to the same man… Sort of. I don't know the whole story there, but they told me something about separation, moving and I'm pretty sure I heard something about being declared dead, but honestly I wasn't really listening. She's had two kids, Tony and Mum, with one hell of a gap in between. She lives with Pete now, she used to live with us. All I can say is good luck Pete. Oh yeah, and she doesn't like being called Grandma, she says it makes her feel old, I could point out that she is kinda old, but I don't, I just call her Jackie to her face and Grandma Jackie when she's not around (or to her face if I happen to be feeling particularly annoyed with her or very brave.)

Pete is… Well. He's rich for a start, but he's pretty cool. He looks after Grandma and makes her happy. He works at Torchwood too, and he's pretty high up there. I mean Mum's high, but Pete's like the boss or something. I dunno, I don't really take that much interest in it, since I know they can't tell me anything about it. But as I said, Pete's cool.

Tony would have to be my second closest friend in this whole universe. The whole thing. He's a few months older than me, but honestly, he acts like a two year old on a sugar rush. But then again, so do I, and I guess that's what makes us get along so well. At fifteen, he's already a major league womaniser, because I gotta say, he got lucky with the looks. He picked up Pete's hair colour (from before he went bald), and light brown eyes with green in them, I'm not really sure where he got his eyes from, but as I said, we're not really a normal family, so for all we know he could be part alien. He acts like it sometimes. He's tall but not really skinny. I'm not saying he's fat; I'm saying he's got muscle. Which he likes to show off at every chance he gets. But I love him, and for all intents and purposes, he's my brother more than my uncle. After all, an Uncle that's not even a year older than me is kinda weird.

And the last member of my family, and arguably my favourite, is my German Sheppard: Gallifrey. I have no idea where I pulled that name from, but when I got him for my twelfth birthday, the name popped into my head, and for some reason I fell in love with it. I remember a lot of stuff from when I was younger, but the thing I remember the most is the look on Mums face when I told her what I had named my dog. I, of course, didn't understand the look at the time, but looking back on it, I know what I saw. Pain. And taking an educated guess, like so much around me, it had something to do with Dad.

What else? Oh yeah, I was an accident. I know Mum loves me and everything, but yeah, I wasn't meant to happen. I mean, Mum was only twenty-one when she had me. Grandma Jackie wanted to kill Dad, every time he gets mentioned around her; she says she'd slap him into his next life. As you may have guessed, Grandma wasn't exactly as forgiving as Mum was.

Okay lets get off personal and slightly depressing and go onto random stuff… Random stuff to tell you. I like Converses, every time I see some in a shop window I start begging Mum to buy them for me and she rolls her eyes, sighs and there's usually a comment in there somewhere like 'haven't you already got thirty pairs?' or 'you're just like your father, you know that?' the second one is usually followed by a sad look and her trying to cover it up before I see it. It doesn't work though. I always see it.

I hate pears, I told Mum that and she just smiled and told me to try a banana. Here's the funny bit, I didn't like that either, and when I told Mum that, well, it was a nice surprise for her.

I am a total tomboy. Yeah a t-shirt with baggy jeans (not really baggy, but just not the ones that the girls are walking around in these days, y'know the ones that look like they've been painted on?) Topped off with a pair of Converse with my hair tied up, and a skate hat, that's my style. Did I point out that I'm a sweet skater? Yeah, me and my best friend, JD (his actual name is Jordan Davies, he goes by JD though, and everyone calls him that, even his parents) anyway we go down to the local skate park with our boards and stay there for hours. It's kinda like our get away from the world.

Anyway, sorry, I ramble a lot. I get that from Dad I'm told. I'm even worse in person, but I'm working on it. They say I got his looks too… And his quirks… Which to be honest I could have gone without. Definitely could have gone without some of them, but I'll get to that.

What was I saying? Oh yeah. Dads looks. I've only ever seen one photo of him, because that's the only one Mum had left, but I look a lot like him. I got his hair colour and his eyes. I mean, my eyes could be mistaken for Mums colour, and most people do make that mistake, but I know better. His are darker than mum's eyes, and so are mine.

Sometimes I even wonder if Mum had anything to do with it. I honestly don't think I got any of her genes, but hey, I look at Grandma Jackie and sometimes I'm really glad. I mean, I love her and everything… But she's just… Wow. Especially on Christmas.

A lot of weird things have happened to me in my life. I mean, for one, I've got two hearts. Yeah, I know, but I prefer not to dwell on that aspect of my weirdness. Two, I have an IQ off the charts, even though I try to tone it down (right down) at school and, well, everywhere else, y'know, to actually have a tiny chance of fitting in? And not be called a nerd and having all the 'fun' stuff that goes along with that at my school. That was the main reason; I had to adapt to survive. Yeah right, that worked, but at least my books don't get flushed.

Three, I have a really great memory. And I mean really great. As in something boring and normal could happen to me years ago and I'd still remember it in crazy detail. They say I've probably got a photographic memory or something, but I don't tell anybody that. That would just make me even more of a freak than I already am. See the weird things I have to put up with for the rest of my life? Sometimes it sucks. I mean I didn't ask to be weird! But then I think about Mum and what she's been through, and I think to myself, get a grip Jamie, things could be sooo much worse. And that always makes me feel better, because she's been through so much and still came out the other side as a great, strong person.

Mum and me live in a flat. Its not because we have to, it's because we wanted to. Mum used to live with Grandma Jackie, Tony and Pete (just Pete, not Grandad. It's a long story. Don't ask) in their 'house.' House, yeah right, it's more like a bloody mansion. But then I came along, and Mum decided that they needed their own space and we did too. So she bought the flat. It's a nice flat though, its got a really nice view and my room is huge, so I'm not complaining.

On a totally unrelated note, did I mention tomorrows my birthday? Mum said she has something of Dads that he would want me to have, but I can't get it until my fourteenth birthday. I don't know what it is, but tomorrow's my fourteenth so I guess I'll find out.'

I looked down at the paper that was now covered in my messy handwriting. "This is so stupid," I said quietly to myself in a bit of a singsong voice. I looked down at the paper. Well if I had to do it, why not make it a bit more fun? I thought and put my pen back down and started writing again.

'I don't really want to be doing this in the first place, and definitely not at… I paused to look up at my clock, and then continued writing …11:45 on a Tuesday night. 11:45 on a Tuesday night that happens to be the night before my birthday. But the stupid teacher (yes, I'm talking about you) wants to see the stupid introduction (this thing) in the morning (in case you haven't picked up on it, I don't like that teacher very much and I'm tired, so I can't think of anything else to say except stupid.) and I don't think she likes me very much, but that's okay, I don't like her either. She just doesn't like me because I would prefer maths to English any day. Is it my fault that I happen to be so much better at maths that English? No. I thought about not doing the whole assignment at all, but then she would get my Mum involved, which would be bad. Since last time Mum got called by a teacher it didn't end very well for me, but I'm not going to get into that. Let's just say trouble finds me. I'm NOT a troublemaker; I just seem to get into a lot of it, that's all.'

I read over the pages again and sighed, there's not way I can hand that in, I thought, not without getting a detention... Or five. And a trip to the loony bin. "I'll just get an extension," I muttered to myself as I screwed it up and threw it at my bin, not really caring if it went in or not. But then I thought about it, it actually wasn't so bad. I mean all I gotta do is cut out a few bit that would make me sound like a lunatic and a few bits that would give my teacher a reason to call Mum, and it's gold! So, deciding to keep it I shoved it in my school bag. But I still had no intention of showing it to the teacher. None whatsoever. In the back of my mind I had the feeling that something was going to happen soon, but as I felt Gallifrey jump up onto my bed and I closed my eyes in dread and excitement of the next day, I couldn't care less…


Probably the end.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR EMMA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! :D

From Taylor x

Haha :)