Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any of the characters, Please Read and Review this is my first yaoi hope you enjoy!


It was a sad realization to come to especially after so many years of deluding myself, but what choice did I have? I couldn't just accept who I was….who I am and not be eternally damned to sadness. Even worse I couldn't accept it and slowly lose my humanity. Oh but there were so many times I had thought about it just to be free of the torture of pretending, I was tired of it but I couldn't find the strength to do it, to let them see that I Beastboy was just as weak as they thought I was. I had no choice but to smile and bear the weight of their ridicule and contempt. What was even worse I had dared to fall in love with a man, a man I would never have, on top of which he was in love with someone I couldn't even compete with. Starfire, the undisputed beauty of the team was someone I desperately wanted to be and yet someone I held so much loathing for it hurt to even hear her voice. What good would it do though to hate her and want to be her at the same time there was nothing I could do, I couldn't, WOULDN'T lash out at her. So once again my only choice was to smile and hate myself for adding more weight to my pile of issues.

I could only wish for the feeling of being normal, the feeling of being loved and wanted and not constantly feel like I was this annoying stain they couldn't get rid of. Wishes rarely come true though and wishes seemed to only come true to the beautiful ones. This sad realization I had stumbled on, I also wish I would never have stumbled upon it and just be happy with my delusions of grandeur but alas all good things, even things that aren't exactly good must come to an end….