I need to get paid. Laid. And Financial aid and another thing that rhymes with aid like ban aid or band and their aids like bandaid. . .a band aid. . .. . .and my but hole ring is raw, flared, swollen to the side and irritated. . .and I read a lot of Gingsberg, so my mind is caught on the road where military bases are glowing in neon and the occupation was already there crying out in Native Tongue in Indian dances and Buddha dreams. . .and somewhere Gahavidita and Darmha and other fancy words from the middle Eastern stars and over there in the sand and over there above it all and over there where it always ends near the end of the nearsided sidewalks where Buddha dreamt (dreampt)_ it all up and I hear that gay man howl and tell us how to drum. . .and somewhere I forgot a word but the computer nazi keeps changing the misspelled words to spelled ones and I'm under a spell and I am no longer writing this but my fingers are just tapping this. . .and then it comes to me but I forget again so I hiss and keep on hearing, "go to a hospital" and I keep growling it out. . .and then I hear that "Hold down the edges of your gowns, ladies, we are going through hell. . ."and William Carlos Williams introduces Howl and I keep on writing, cause I still have the book, his book, his poems an anthology of crossing American freestyling and reefing and riffing and I keep holding my gown down and I keep trying to be me. . .and then. . .and then. . .I can't remember what to say but it was somewhere way back there and there it goes the nazi computer man changed the words as I typed this on the lcd screen and what happen to paper when we had our own antoinment Aha. . .there it is. . .the pc monster couldn't changing that misspelled word so I had just a hint of paper and a pad and pencil in car with a man driving, a friend, a rough neck, with sweat and cigarettes talking of pussy. . .and I keep going til it hits me and my ps3 gets warmed up so I can race on some cartoon highway and forget I was alive and breathing my hissy breath, and feeling my porpoise scared ugly tongue and natural nose ring. . .I keep thinking hoping it will come to me. . .banging it out with the West Ganya tribe. . .Ghana is what the net called it but in my head it spelled Ganya and Gideon is there on the fire in water with the demons, but I'm missing but my hands are still on the drum on my desk on a envelop mailing it to which they took off the air and I keep going, surviving speech to speech, wedding to wedding, airplane crash into buildings and people coughing and children playing in the park and I'm waiting for the pc monster and the nazi to correct all the grammatical errors but I keep going til I can go back and remember that little idea and memory that left behind many letters ago. . and I realize I didn't write this I was merely possessed by Allen for three seconds and then he left so now I leave and I return to that initial thought that I never got to spit out. . .I just wish I could of remembered somewhere in this mess. . . .it makes me want to cry. . .I wish I could go back and remember it. . .It makes me want to cry. October 21, 2011. (I have to apply for UI in two days. . .god help me its been nearly three months of freedom. Occupy freedom. Occupy the death of money.)