"Celebrity Jeopardy: Total Drama Style"
Rated T for Crude Humor
Disclaimer: Don't own Saturday Night Live or the Total Drama series.
Chapter 1: Geoff, Bridgette & Ezekiel
(Jeopardy! theme music plays.)
Alex Trebek: Hello, and welcome to Celebrity Jeopardy, where in case if you haven't been living in under Don Vito's backfat for years...is a show where you ask questions and get green crap in which I refuse to speak of. Today's contestants are Geoff, Bridgette and the homeschool country boy hick, Ezekiel.
(Ezekiel is shown wearing his rapper gear.)
Ezekiel: Yo, Yo, Yo! It's the Wawanakwa Iced Z, eh?
Alex Trebek: Okay, fine, Mr. Z. Enough with the introductions, let's get with-
(As he gets to the board, Alex is distracted by Geoff and Bridgette's kissing sounds. He is annoyed that they are making out.)
Alex Trebek: Geoff, Bridgette, this is Jeopardy, not "The Notebook".
Geoff: (breaking away from Bridgette) Sorry, me and Bridge watched it last night. Chick flicks turn her on.
(Geoff and Bridgette continue to make out more.)
Alex Trebek: How appropriate...here are the categories. Potent Potables, Famous titles, Things Trebek Sucks-
(Geoff laughs boisteriously.)
Alex Trebek: What should I say is so funny, Geoff?
Geoff: Because it's true!
(Naruto & Shikamaru laughs along with him from the audience.)
Naruto & Shikamaru: Trebek sucks!
(The audience laugh.)
Audience: Trebek Sucks!
(An announcement comes from the Jeopardy studio.)
"Jeopardy!" announcer: "Jeopardy!" viewers...Alex Trebek sucks!
Alex Trebek: (to camera) You too?
"Jeopardy!" announcer: Chris McLean paid me!
Alex Trebek: How interesting. Remind me to kill you later...now, where was I? Oh yeah. Presidents on the $1 dollar bill, Jake "The Snake " Roberts, and "Things that are yellow". Geoff, you'll start.
Geoff: I'll try "Famous Titties" for $200, Alex!
Alex Trebek: That's famous titles.
Geoff: Oh...well, I like Bridgette's. Her's are hot!
(Geoff points at Bridgette's hot rack.)
Bridgette: It's true. Geoff really loves my boobies.
Alex Trebek: How right for a family show. Here's the answer. This movie title is based on the book "Gone With The Wind."
(Ezekiel buzzes in.)
Alex Trebek: Ezekiel.
Ezekiel: That's Wawakanwa Iced Z, eh?
Alex Trebek: Are you that retarded?
Ezekiel: The blood tests say I'm right.
Alex Trebek: Still, that is wrong.
(Geoff buzzes in.)
Alex Trebek: As there is any trouble...Geoff?
Geoff: What is Pamela Anderson?
Alex Trebek: It's "Famous Titles" not "titties".
Geoff: You must me gay, aren't you?
Alex Trebek: Ask Anderson Cooper, maybe he remembers. Ezekiel-
Ezekiel: (angrily) Wawanakwa Iced Z!
Alex Trebek: Like anyone cares...you choose.
Ezekiel: I'll take Jake "The Snake" Roberts for $200, eh?
Alex Trebek: This man invented the wrestling move, the "DDT".
(Bridgette buzzes in.)
Alex Trebek: Oh, thank goodness...Bridgette?
Bridgette: What is Geoff?
Alex Trebek: Are you high?
Bridgette: (coughing) Yeah, I am...
(Bridgette laughs like hell, still coughing up the pot clouds.)
Alex Trebek: And I wonder how Cheech and Chong is watching...
(Geoff buzzes in.)
Alex Trebek: (sighs disappointingly) Geoff...
Geoff: What is Bridgette's hot tits?
(Alex Trebek lays his head down in embarassment.)
Ezekiel: Is that right, eh?
Alex Trebek: The answer is Jake "The Snake" Roberts. You know what? Just forget it...time for Final Jeopardy and your topic is "Anything." Just write anything.
("Final Jeopardy!" theme song plays.)
Alex Trebek: Just write anything. Anything from a dyslexic Tom Cruise...to Lil Jon pooping on Osama bin Laden. Okay time's up.
("Final Jeopardy!" theme song is over.)
Alex Trebek: Ezekiel...
Ezekiel: WAWANAKWA ICED Z! GET IT RIGHT! DAMN!
Alex Trebek: Like I would give one if Satan had been 'Futtbucking' me with a pitchfork. Let's see what you wrote. You wrote down...
(A picture of a blotch appears.)
Alex Trebek: What in the blue hell is that?
Ezekiel: Your mom pooping on a blue screen, eh?
Alex Trebek: Works well for me...what did you wager?
(Ezekiel writes down "1 cent.")
Alex Trebek: 1 penny...why 1 penny.
Ezekiel: That's all I have left.
Alex Trebek: Congraulations, you have become the first homeschooled idiot who makes any real money. Bridgette, let's go to you, what did you write down?
(A picture of a boot appears.)
Alex Trebek: A boot. Why a boot?
Bridgette: It's something I'm gonna use on Ezekiel, if he keeps grabbing my ass like that!
(Ezekiel is caught grabbing Bridgette's ass.)
Ezekiel: What? It's on sale?
Alex Trebek: Please keep it in your pants, Long Island Iced Z.
Ezekiel: It's Wawanakwa!
Alex Trebek: We're in "Celebrity Jeopardy!" not Wawanakwa. Geoff...as if I really had to ask...what did you write down?
(A picture of Bridgette's boobs is shown.)
Alex Trebek: I had to ask...why her boobs?
Geoff: I imitate car horn sounds. It's like the preacher and your mom's buttcheeks. Burn!
(Naruto & Shikamaru laughs from the audience.)
Naruto & Shikamaru: BURN!
Alex Trebek: Thanks for that unholy image...what did you wager?
(Geoff writes down "Naruto & Shikamaru")
Alex Trebek: Naruto and Shikamaru...why two characters of Naruto?
Geoff: Because we've come to party! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Naruto and Shikamaru go to Geoff and Bridgette and party to "Tube Snake Boogie" by ZZ Top.)
Geoff: (To Alex) How do you like me now? Pansyass? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Alex Trebek: Well, this show...like my life...is over. The winner is Ezekiel, a.k.a. "Wawanakwa Iced Pee Pee" with a penny. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm Alex Trebek and all of you can go to hell. Good night.
Okay, what did everyone think? Next up will be Duncan, Gwen & Trent! Read and review until then! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!