I've said it a million times, but this story was supposed to just be a one-shot. But since then it's become the story I randomly update whenever I'm bored. I hope you guys don't take this storyline seriously. You can critique if you want of course, but this is basically a crackfic. I don't even know what the heck I'm writing and when I re-read the chapters they actually scare me lol. These comedy chapters write themselves anyways so it's not like I'm using time I could be using to write chapters for my main Bleach story, The Princess and the Tiger.
I'm sure everybody read last chapter's omake segment which took place in the late night of the last chapter. But the opening of this chapter takes place in the same day, hours earlier starting off before dinner time which as everybody knows, is at a specific time and sacred in the Kurosaki household. The omake also had hints to possible important plot points if I decide to keep randomly updating this story. Oh and did I mention this story includes time skipped Karin and Yuzu. It wasn't clear in the first chapter since I wasn't intending this to be a multi-chapter fic, but Rukia's short hair-cut and being called vice-captain last chapter should have gave it away. Back then was when I decided this plotline was post-timeskip on a whim since the first chapter was vague enough to allow me to do so. This chapter I will fully clarify it.
The story is unbeta'd. Any grammatical mistakes, send them to me in a review so I can fix them for you. :) Enjoy.
'To their Chagrin 2'
Dinner for Who?
"Y-You sore loser!" shouted Karin at finally turning around only to see the retreating form of the tenth division captain's back.
"Don't know what you're talking about Kurosaki." Sweat embalmed them both as the sun continued to set.
"Stop trying to run away, get back here! What do you mean you 'dunno'? You got mad that I was about to win and freakishly kicked my soccer ball probably to the moon or something and now you're actually trying to play it off!"
"I'm not 'running' away, I'm clearly walking," he said without turning around to face Karin, "And I already told you I'm sorry Kurosaki. This gigai has more power than a normal human body," he explained. Truthfully Karin wasn't that far off.
"When I played with her over a year ago with her friends, she was good, but not this good. How was she even keeping up with me? She's just a human. My gigai is physically superior to a human's body, but I almost had to come out in shinigami form to keep up. Maybe it's because gigais are so constricting to us that we can't properly use them comfortably. And her seeping reiatsu into her kicks has only gotten worse,"thought Tōshirō remembering how Karin would kick soccerballs at hollows to kill them.
"Gigai? That's the name of the type of body you're in right now right? Alright so how come when you left it to go fight hollows earlier that thing was still breathing? !"
"I put in my soul candy so that the artificial soul inside of it, named 'King' could take over while I fought the hollows."
"Eh? 'Candy?' Gikongan? 'Artificial soul' like a Gikon? W-wait, so why didn't it do anything or talk or anything? I had to stash that thing under my bed and pray Yuzu didn't come up and think I killed you or something. We didn't need bad shoujo plots to come to life for her sake."
"What's up with all the questions? How should I know?" complained Tōshirō squinting his eyes closed in the way Karin made fun of him for.
Among many other situational purposes, the gikons were made to get to safety while a shinigami went and fought hollows. When creating his specific brand of soul candy though, the twelfth division might have over-enunciated the 'flight' part of King's 'fight or flight' functions.
"King is pretty…no extremely paranoid about doing what he feels are potentially risky things. I mean, you are a risky person to be around," finished Tōshirō.
"Hey, I can't help that I attract those hollows!"
"Well that's not really what I meant, but there's that too."
Karin chose to ignore that statement and question it later.
"So let me get this, straight. Your…weirdo Gikon was so terrified of me..that it played dead?" said Karin incredulously.
"Yeah, that sounds about like King's behavior. Usually he tries to stay away from dangerous things, but you were already there in the first place. Though it's more extreme then what he usually does. Usually he assess the probability of risk in any little situation and acts off of it. Matsumoto has one too named Momone. I'm actually thinking she used Momone to sneak her gigai into your house back there while she came in and merged back into it. That's when she appeared out of nowhere," thought Tōshirō in annoyance realizing the extent of Matsumoto's schemes. Speaking of schemes…..
"MATSUMOTO. Quit taking pictures!"
"But captain, I've been sent to chaperone this date! Karin-chan, the captain's a dangerous man you know," complained a smug Rangiku on top of the roof of a nearby house.
"IT'S NOT A DATE!" Karin and Tōshirō exclaimed in unison.
"Matsumoto the only thing we're in danger of is you! And we both know you used Karin's father's…'approval'," he shuddered at the word, "Just to take bad your quality pictures for the Shinigami Woman's Association!" He said the association's name with comedic abhorrence.
"Well, I mean come on, the sports section of our insider edition magazine that I was assigned doesn't write itself you know! And with this I get pictures of the captain, his girlfriend, and both them playing together. It's not just the sports section, but implied romance as well which is the best type of romance! With that, I'm intruding in Soi-fon's dirty section! It doesn't get much better tha-"
"Kurosaki," said Tōshirō as Rangiku continued rambling on with jubilee.
"….." A silence was heard from Karin.
"Oh, fine! 'Karin'!" asked Tōshirō finally turning around wearing a scowl and earning a smile from Karin.
"There we go. Now, that's more like it. Now I'll do one for you. 'Yes? Captain Hitsugaya?" Tōshirō deadpanned at this before holding his hand out..
"Shut up and give me the soccer ball so I can kick Matsumoto off the roof already." to which Karin made an equally blank face and pointed towards the sky with her free hand on her hips.
"Hmm? Oh ok..ok I get i-..WAIT not ok! What are you talking about! ?"
"You kicked it to the MOON remember," said Karin in a defiant tone crossing her arms.
"WHA-? ! M-Maybe down a couple blocks, but not to the moon! That's impossible."
"Then go get it back! That was my personal ball! You think I'm buying that gigai excuse? I was about to win and you kicked it away you sore loser!"
"Yoo-hoo!" came Rangiku's voice piercing through the speech bubbles of their conversation. Both turned around to see Rangiku coming out of her gigai. "I~~I'd hate to interrupt the lover's quarrel, but it's 6:58. Two minutes till dinner you two,"
Suddenly Rangiku's gigai rose up its head. "Yeah, so take responsibility brat-captain and get the floozy girl to dinner on time!"
Rangiku had follow-up dialogue for this, "If not we'll be forced to as chaperone's to give a bad report for staying out past your date curfew!"
"Psssssst, Rangiku-sama, you can't just make up the term 'date-curfew'," said Momone out the side of her mouth with an uncharacteristic scowl on Rangiku's face.
"Come'on Momone, just go with it!" whispered Rangiku before yelling, "See ya' around captain!" as she flashed away with shunpo leaving Momone awkwardly standing there. Quickly she did a back-flip and disappeared behind the back of the house she was standing on.
Was that Rangiku's Gikon…wait a sec did that thing just call her a floozy? !
"Oh well, beardo's just gonna have to deal with it because we're gonna be no-shows," said a fuming Karin walking the opposite direction back towards the playing field."
"Huh? Are you sure. Your father seems like he'll be the dramatic type for you to miss dinner."
"Eh, not like I'll get grounded or anything, and if he does anything annoying I'll just punch him in the face like usual."
"Like usual," echoed Tōshirō in his thoughts while sweatdropping.
"Besides, you have a job to do of going to get my soccer ball," reminded Karin causing Tōshirō to slump. "Fine whatever," he responded. He actually had no idea how far he had slide-tackle-kicked it in desperation to stop Karin from scoring the winning goal.
"But you're missing the main point too. Or have you forgotten completely? I originally dragged you to my house to talk about Shinigami and hollow stuff! My crazy family got in the way so we ran to my room. Then I said how Rangiku explained a lot to me already, but that I wanted to know more….to even possibly become a shinigami or at least learn to protect myself from hollows. But as if on cue, the stupid hollows got in the way and you had to go fight them. So since you were taking a while I absentmindedly went downstairs where my family basically flash mob-ambushed me and then everything else happened," she explained remembering all the incidents leading up to the obligatory Isshin-Ichigo pre-dinner duel, Tōshirō's return, and Rangiku's crashing of the whole scene.
"And now we've finally escaped from that to have our conversation, even Rangiku is gone, and you actually want to go back?" questioned Karin as if Tōshirō was insane. Just clinically insane though.
The white haired captain simply smiled. "I never said I wanted to go back did I?" to which Karin grinned. Suddenly Tōshirō's smile horrifically morphed before her eyes into smugness.
"You know, it's just that you get so embarrassed easily earlier I was wondering if you skipping dinner and 'staying out with me' would be worth all the hassle your family would give you."
Karin literally had a pre-scripted response ready for this.
"Oh so it's come back to this! We already had this conversation back in my room, that you were the one most embarrassed by Yuzu accusations and Ichigo's hassling.
"'Embarrased' and 'Annoyed'. Two different words Kurosaki," responded Tōshirō. He was ahead of the game on this round two of the bantering sessions.
"Shut up, and let's go find the ball. You have plenty of time to explain everything 'till we do. That's the only reason I'm coming with you, otherwise you'd be finding it yourself."
Currently they were in the bottom of the Mashiba District at Karakura Community Park. This was the place she had always come to play soccer since her elementary school had also been in this district. Currently she attended Mashiba Middle School just as Ichigo had. This location was good though as only one district separated it from where she lived near the top of the Minamikawase District. The park's location was a far cry from Yumisawa Children's Park which was to the north on the other side of town. Kids from the bordering Naruki City even went there.
So how can one explain why Tōshirō and Karin ended up here a whole two districts away from Mashiba in the midst of a conversation. Technically three districts away if you include Mashiba since they were originally near the bottom of it.
"So like I said, after getting information from Rangiku, I started going to Urahara for a while for this hollow problem during the time Ichigo lost his powers; even before then actually around about right after what I now realize in retrospect were the first formal arrancar attacks."
"Willingly going to Urahara Kisuke's. That doesn't bode well."
"And?" questioned Tōshirō further.
Suddenly Karin did her version of a pout (which was a hybridized with a scowl). It was way different than Yuzu's more juvenile pout, but Tōshirō could still see the family resemblance to her twin sister after all. Especially since again, she resembled Ichigo's scowl, but the last time he told her so back in her room she nearly flipped out. Now she sighed.
"I think he either doesn't take me seriously or just like to mess with me, or both. Since pluses follow me around 24/7, he always gives me all sorts spirit-repellant type stuff for free even though I'd rather pay him. He calls it 'paying off a debt'. And then recently there's the bootleg, limited edition, off-brand looking anti-hollow test-phase merchandise." complained Karin.
"Despite their horrible campy packaging, Urahara actually has a reputation for mildly respectable products…..most of the time," joked Tōshirō.
Urahara's blunt presence (despite the ever so humble appearance of his shop) in the human world had been an elephant in the room for the Seireitei for a while. To the point where they knew he was there, and even shinigami stopped by there for supplies somehow smuggled from soul society (coughYoruichicough) while stationed somewhere in the living world during the near hundred years of his exile. Once Aizen's plot came out of the shadows however it allowed all the formerly in exile warriors (Visored included) to reveal themselves formally. Tōshirō had met the former twelfth division captain some time during the opening stages of the winter war, but never really got close to him as his workers like Ikkaku and Yumichika and especially Renji did.
"Yeah, I mean the products worked," she said remembering with annoyance her 'beta-testing' of the goofy can of Hollow Spray ™ that actually brought down a scary looking hollow out of the air like a can of brand name bug spray, causing comical damage to a nearby building before it ran away, "But it's just that he always had a way of dodging the big questions. Whatever he did answer was like a vague outline of what happened. I know the shinigami faced a big threat and my brother helped and Karakura Town was involved somehow. He wasn't even that specific, but I put the pieces together myself. And I now remember when the hollow attacked our house that Rukia-nee was involved too. Before it was like my memory of that was changed or something," she said as Tōshirō listened on.
"When I told him I wanted to be a shinigami like Ichigo, the guy literally tried to wave me away with his fan. No matter how much I beat up Jinta on an hourly basis or threaten to say bad things about him to my sister, he won't budge. And neither will Ururu-chan for that matter! I ask her and she with no subtlety at all justturns around and starts whistling with that same sad expression on her face the entire time! Tessai is just kind of scary, and the talking black cat Yoruichi can actually use shunpo!"
Tōshirō smirked at Karin's telling of her antics with the Urahara crew. "Sounds just like an Urahara reaction to wave his fans," said Tōshirō stopping. "Fine then, why don't I start from the beginning. Or at last what I know happened here first," he began.
He told Karin how Rukia had been stationed in Karakura, hurt by the hollow, and illegally gave Ichigo her shinigami powers, but lost all of them instead of the intended half she meant to transfer. He told everything that he was aware of that happened after that. Then he got to how Soul Society went to "retrieve" her, how Ichigo and his friends were sent by Urahara to "rescue her". How, they managed to break in and fight against Soul Society's best, and actually stop her execution. Sosuke Aizen's big reveal of his plans one-hundred plus years in the making which had caused Urahara and co to be exiled, along with people now called the Visored who were like arrancar but dominantly shinigami instead of hollow like arrancar(and how apparently Ichigo during the winter war had the same powers as them), the betrayal of he and two other captains, and the entire build-up and fighting out of the winter war.
Tōshirō told it all in chronological order, from the first arrancar attacks, to Orihime's abduction, to the Final Getsuga Tensho.
"There, you satisfied now? I gave you the way the textbook writers are going to write it for incoming students to the shinigami academy taking the obligatory history class," said Tōshirō sarcastically with his hands in his pockets. The sun had long since gone down.
Karin hadn't talked during his entire explanation, since interrupting people with more questions in the middle of explanations seems to do more harm than good.
"Yeah, thanks this helps a lot! I-I think understand everything now," said a wide-eyed Karin getting a much better timeline of events in better context, before a scowl returned on her face.
"I don't see why the heck stupid Urahara or even Ichigo or Rukia-nee who were basically the main characters in the beginning, couldn't tell me this stuff!"
"Who knows. Maybe you did so for Ichigo, but I don't recall you saying you ever asked Vice-captain Kuchiki. Maybe you can ask them why they didn't yourself since we're almost at your place," said Tōshirō.
That's when it hit her. They had walked completely around the town. From Mashiba, north up to Yumisawa, southwest to the district where Urahara Shoten was at, further south past the railroad tracks to the remains of the Sukari Building, then going eas-Wait, why the heck did they even go down there? Where they actually trying to head to the town where the summer fireworks festival was always held? ! Mashiba and the Community Park was north of here, and Tōshirō had kicked the ball north from there. Sigh.
From there they had gone eastward straying away from the railroad tracks past the general area where Tatsuki said Orihime had lived. When going past there Karin had remembered Matsumoto saying they were staying there and questioned why she didn't sense the vice captain there, or anywhere for that matter. "Hmm. She must've gone to Naruki City or something. She did say it was boring since Orihime is apparently training with Chad and Ishida-san somewhere," Karin had thought at the time. Currently speaking they were passing by the supermarket, and entering the district where she lived, crossing over a little walking bridge that went over the Karasu River.
"Woah you're right Tōshirō we are almost home? Why did we go all the way around town! ?"
"You're the one who wanted to hear the story, I was stalling so we didn't get to your house so fast and where I'd get interrupted mid-story by your brother who'd probably slew some more psuedo-death threats at me for keeping you out so late, and where your father would probably praise me for that exact reason," Karin did a shudder at this, "So I just wanted to explain everything all at once."
Karin was still stuck on certain former details. "Woah you're right! All the extra time past seven o'clock we've been out is like build-up time for those psychos. The longer we stay the worse it'll be!" she exclaimed thinking about all the 'praise' Tōshirō would receive from her dad.
"I thought you said you'd just punch your father in the head 'like normally'? quoted Tōshirō.
"You don't understand, I didn't think we'd come back this late! Do you know what time it is? It's night time," she said changing into a overly dramatic sinister look, "and they're stronger at night Tōshirō."
"Oh really? Well then, I'll take your word for it, but hold on, this is me disregarding everything you just said for like five minutes," he said popping in his gikongan. Karin's smugness had uncharacteristically sort of rubbed off on him. Plus he liked messing with the raven haired Kurosaki. Maybe it was payback for almost beating him in soccer.
"W-WH-WHAT THE, where do you think you're going? !"
"Out," he responded with his back to Karin before disappearing in a flash.
Karin wore blank expression before screaming "We're already oou-MHMMM!"
Tōshirō's gigai muffled Karin's screams with a hand over her mouth.
"Shhhh!" it said in a nasally voice uncharacteristic of Tōshirō, spraying stray spit on Karin face. "You are too loud. Your voice functions as a hollow call. The probability of a hollow appearing from a hollow call is 96.71 perc-ARGH!"
"Get off of me you crazy Gikon!" yelled Karin breaking free and kneeing the Gikon named King in the stomach, but he dodged by expertly jumping back.
"Eh?" "More agile than he seems,..hmm what's he doing now," thought Karin turning from an analytical to a confused expression as King sat down criss-crossed. She really didn't know to do with this thing. Her voice was a 'hollow call' seriously? What are hollows supposed to be, birds? Though considering what Urahara was capable of with his infamous "'Spirit Repellent: Be-Gone X', and other vaguely patented products, a 'hollow call' shouldn't be that far out of the ballpark.
"The probability of my subduing her is approximately -2.21%," spoke King to Karin's instant facial deadpanning, "As such I will commence with the countdown!"
"Countdown to what! ?"
"Four minutes and TWENTY-two seconds!",
"Four minutes and TWENTY-one seconds!"
Karin eye began twitching. "…..THIS. ENDS. HERE."
Four minutes and twenty seconds later.
"A-a-and laAsStly…ZzEero seconds," said King falling over unconscious, his pill popping out of the gigai's mouth and rolling on the ground. Karin looked down triumphantly at her work. Even after beating him up for two minutes flat, he truly was diligent in his countdown and continued counting to the end for the last two minutes. At least Karin respected him for that instead of him choosing to run away or something.
"FLASH!" A sound the signaled Tōshirō's arrival behind Karin.
"You're five and a half seconds late Tōshirō," said Karin mocking King's voice with her back to the boy.
"K-Kurosa-What did you do to my gigai!" said the boy in growing horror, the sound of him dropping something went past her ears.
"Eh? My fist sparred with King's face for a while, while you were gone. My fist won," she stated simply, before her eyes widened that she heard the sound of a ball dropping.
"MY SOCCER BALL YOU FOUND IT!"
"MY GIGAI! YOU KILLED IT!"
At this Karin began avidly reaching for the soccer ball only to be repelled by Tōshirō's hand pushing her head back causing her to strain against it. "Ehhhh? You said 'I killed it'? Can you really kill a gigai? I dunno about that, I mean sure King's pill popped out and all but-"
"Kurosaki…" he said darkly.
"Is that supposed to be your 'mad voice'?" she teased only to be answered by rising spiritual pressure.
"Umm. Yeah I'm just gonna go ahead of you now. Make sure you take responsibility and bring that ball, because I have this one!" she shouted, showing off just what she meant as the small ball-like soul candy form of King was in her hand while she ran over the small walking bridge that went over the Karasu river into her district where her family and Tatsuki lived..
"When did she pick that up? !" thought Tōshirō in alarm.
Karin was already across the bridged and four soccer fields away zooming on the way home before a flash was heard in front of her.
"Yeah, because you were going to outrun me right?" said Tōshirō with his gigai on his back.
"Yeeaahh…looking back on it I really should've thought that through some more."
Karin and Tōshirō were almost at the Kurosaki residence. The latter had reluctantly merged back into his gigai.
"So you took King's gikongan to make me follow you? Why? So you don't get ambushed alone once you get home?" questioned Tōshirō with his hands behind his back.
"Something like that?" said Karin looking away.
"If I wanted to go home I could've stayed behind when we passed by the area where Inoue-san's apartment is,"
"But you were still telling me the story at that time, and it wasn't directly in the path we were walking. You were coming back with me to get ambushed no matter what….and uh," she said looking down in front of her, "Sorry about the gigai with the well…possible structural and functional damage and all,"
"It feels extremely weird for me to respond 'no problem' to what you just said Kurosaki," he said switching to a nonchalant tone, "But, I mean now that I'm over the heart-stopping shock of seeing my gigai's nose and arms among other limbs turned in an angles I'm sure is immeasurable by even the highest quality protractor, it's fine. I don't really care about it since gigais are highly durable. It was easy to pop everything back into place, but it's kind of surreal seeing a gigai, which is basically a carbon copy of your physical body, laid out on the ground like they just got run over. Plus gigai's are expensive. They come out of our paycheck you know.
Karin tried to imagine Tōshirō holding a pay stub and it didn't work.
"I'm sorry, but again it was because King has worse OCD than Yuzu! And it's a warped and twisted version of OCD at that. At least Yuzu's is normal and funny, but this thing," she said holding the soul candy form of King.
"When I first led the advance guard here to counter the initial arrancar threat, Matsumoto did the shopping for my gikongan and Vice-captain Kusajishi was the one handing them out. I have no issues with King, but putting those two together in charge of getting my gikongai was a bad combination," he admitted closing his eyes.
"Vice-captain Kusajishi huh? Sounds entertaining. You have to tell me more about the rest of these shinigami, though Rukia-nee said earlier that a bunch of them were at Urahara's. I felt them when we passed by that area and I've met most of them, but some of the pressures I feel are new.'
"Hm. Doesn't your sister do the shopping or something? Just tell her to go there tomorrow."
"Actually she shops there all the time. Good idea Tōshirō-oh we're here," she said coming up to the side door next to the clinic. A different door than the one she had ran out earlier that day.
"It's quiet. Too quiet. And it's dim inside," whispered Karin.
"It's 9:47 Kurosaki."
'That doesn't matter, Beardo is definitely still up. I don't think I've ever seen him sleep actually,"
"That actually explains multiple things," commented Tōshirō dryly.
Whatever those 'things' were Karin didn't get to ask because Tōshirō went straight up to the door and opened it. Before she could protest her eyes widened. The full room lights were off, but one light was on in the kitchen/dining area. As they walked inside they saw the table had been collapsed into a smaller version that could probably only sit two people. The table had been redressed with a red table-cloth. In the middle of the table was a lit candle and on the table itself were two plates of the most delicious food any of them had ever seen. Suddenly out of nowhere Karin heard slow music gradually get louder.
"What is that? ! You hear that right? I'm not crazy?" she yelled looking around.
Normally Tōshirō would at least consider acting like he didn't hear it and verify Karin's fear of insanity as a joke, but he was actually glad somebody besides him heard it as well.
"Yeah, but where is it coming from!"
"So it seems our guests have finally arrived. After much delay of course."
"Yes the famished lovebirds have returned to the nest to roost,"
At that, both of them went back to back looking for the source of the voices. "Where are you Yuzu, Dad! Stop messing around!" She was beginning to freak out since she couldn't feel what little spiritual pressures they had. Tōshirō had left out his story that Isshin was a shinigami. That was for him to tell her. Still he wondered why the man felt like he had so little spiritual pressure. Yuzu just did naturally.
"Messing around? But we haven't even begun. And why the confusion. You know we are masters of throwing our voices" they said in unison.
Suddenly the door slammed behind them and the normal light in the ceiling above it turned on like a spot-light, revealing Isshin and Yuzu with tuxedos and cloths around their arms in a French waiter motif with eyes closed and solemn expressions.
"Welcome," they bowed in unison, expressions unchanging "To 'Restaurant: Kurosaki'."
"…." Karin and Tōshirō were speechless, mouth agape.
"Party of Two?" questioned Yuzu , nose in the air, eyes closed with still the same expression.
"YOU GUYS ARE GOING TOO FAR! And how dare you drag Yuzu off the deep end with you dad! "
"Party of Two it is then," continued Yuzu, writing something down on her clipboard as if for confirmation.
"Yuzu where did you even get a tuxedo! ?"
"Please follow me to your seats," chirped Yuzu.
Tōshirō decided the break his silence nonchalantly "How is it a restaurant if the food is already ordered for us?"
"Because my young man," said Isshin keeping up his maître d act, putting his hand on Tōshirō from behind.
"As our restaurant is open one night only, and only serves one item," he continued holding up one finger for emphasis, "It is this impossible to order anything else,"
"And that one item is?" questioned Karin only for Isshin to seeming teleport to her side all without losing his cool, calm, and collected character.
"Whatever our esteemed chef happens to cook. In other words 'dinner'….WHICH YOU HAPPENED TO MISS KARIN-CHAN," he yelled, yanking his cloth off his arm and jumping towards the Masaki poster.
"And so it begins," slumped Karin mid-stride.
"The flawless streak of perfect attendance for supper you instated has been marred by our former little Karin-chan's uncontrollable biochemistry!," he blubbered.
"'Former little Karin-chan' Wait-Was he talking about hormones at the end there? !" thought Karin face palming.
"Masaki you must descend come down from the glorious skies above and speak," he gasped, "To your bad seed wayward daughteeeerrrr!"
"Ignore him Karin. Ignore him Karin," she thought keeping the mantra going in her head.
"Here you go," said Yuzu pulling two chairs for both Karin and Tōshirō as they both sat down. Yuzu then went to finish washing dishes only to realize Ichigo already did them. He didn't like that Yuzu felt the need to do all the housework alone so he often helped her out with chores now.
"Yuzu, I know you're still 'in character' and all, but I want you to know I actually appreciate this. You didn't have to reheat dinner for me, but you did anyhow. And even though you just assumed as part of your twisted scheme with Dad that Tōshirō was coming back with me for some reason even though he's just a friend from school, I'm actually strangely not mad," her voice raising in pitch in those last couple of words.
"Maybe it's the hunger getting to me. Yeah, I'm just going to go with this and take advantage of the situation and then basically deny this ever happened after I finish eating."
"But you can't deny photo evidence," said a sing-song voice at the steps going upstairs followed by the flash of a camera, making Karin choke mid-swallow.
"Matsumoto, what are you doing here?" yelled Tōshirō with food in his mouth due to being caught off guard. He hadn't sensed her. Had she used Bakudo kido? Then he mentally face palmed. That's how she snuck in the first time!
"Every restaurant needs a waitress," she explained.
"The meal was served before we came in the door Matsumoto! And why aren't you writing the report? !"
"Oh didn't Yuzu-chan tell you? I'm simply here visiting my good friend Rukia-chan!"
"So that's what you told Yuzu? I'm guessing you made up some crazy reason why you know me too huh?" thought Tōshirō.
"Well go back up and continue the visiting then, we're trying to eat here."
"Oh, the captain's getting territorial. Wouldn't want to intrude, so see you later," she retreated up the stairs, presumably to Ichigo's room where Rukia probably was also.
Karin noticed Tōshirō's fuming. "Don't worry about it Tōshirō. Do like I do with my problems," she said jutting her thumb towards the still in hysterics Isshin. "Ignore them,"
"Why does that advice sound familiar coming from you Kurosaki?"
"A~~ah," yawned Yuzu over by the sink, as she went over to calm down her father as usual before smiling and saying whimsically, "Must be nice."
The following omake takes place directly a couple minutes after the one from last chapter. Go back and read it if you forgot what happens.
"The Chessmasters 2"
It was late, dark and stormy night, going on early morning. Yuzu had come in and set up her station for use in the clinic the next day, and then she and Isshin had discussed their meta-schemes of pairing up certain individuals together. But after she left, a plan that had started formulating earlier that day had continued formulating even as she went back up to bed. So when Isshin had dialed up Urahara, he had intended to immediately start in the pre-production phase of this scheme.
"Eh Isshin? The 'red-haired kid'? You mean Abarai-san?" he asked jokingly.
"Wha-? No, I mean the kid that works with the girl you built and Tessai!"
"Ah, him!" spoke Urahara with feigned surprise, undoubtedly fanning himself with his fans.
"Listen Isshin, if this plan of yours that you called me for is what I think it is, then I have to say I'm surprised you're ready to move this fast. Are you sure the sources you said you have are correct?"
"Why of course. More correct than they can ever be. And for your sake if you want me to keep in contact this time around, you better hope they are," said the man grinning into the phone.
"Oh once again, that hurts Isshin," said Urahara, "And besides, your intended subject is sort of an unchecked variable. I don't think he will be a good subject to use in one of your schemes."
"Kisuke are you actually being…'fatherly'? You don't want him growing up too fast," joked Isshin.
"Why that's not the case at all. I'm not his father after all. And although people can be 'fatherly' without being fathers, I merely said that about him because with the way he is, there's no way it'll work or last," retorted Kisuke with a laugh.
"Rest assured, I can indirectly amend that situation, since if I did it directly, it would be against the rules. So to make things interesting, care to place a bet on it then," dared Isshin.
"But my friend, the bet has already been made," said Kisuke on the other line fanning himself.
"If I win, we have a little test-spar," said the now happy man.
"Ha! And If I win,*whisper-whisper," said Isshin whispering into the phone. After a long pause was taken place one could hear an "Oh you're on Isshin!" coming from the phone.
"Yeah it'll be just like old times," responded Ichigo's father.
"Now Isshin, I'd hate to hold you up any longer, but I am hoping you did not forget the pre-planned events to take place tomorrow,"
"How could I forget? There was a reason after all when you first answered the phone when I asked 'Are you turning the old shop into a motel?'.'
"Yeah, I figured as such, but just want to make sure you know."
"Tomorrow has been weeks in the making," answered Isshin.
"Yes, weeks," echoed Kisuke..
"Remember, bright and early Kisuke. No oversleeping!"
"Wouldn't dream of it," joked the shopkeeper to the groans he heard on the other line, "Oh and Yoruichi-san might be involved if she returns,"
By the way Kisuke added '–san' to the end of her name, Isshin guessed the Shihōin princess was in her cat morph form.
"Oh great! She'll definitely enhance the situation," said Isshin grinning deviously.
*Camera pans outside the house and into the sky*
*Cue eerie music and cut to end credits*
Chatper Started: July 4th, 2012 7:04 AM EST
Chapter Finished: July 4th, 2012, 8:00 PM EST
Again, I updated because I felt like it. This story is just a side story that was originally supposed to be a crackfic one-shot. For your own sakes don't wait on an update any time soon at all. Notice the status of this story has not said 'in progress', but 'complete' since the publishing of the first chapter. If I do update, it will be at a completely random time, just like my publishing of this chapter is. lol
I was glad to write a scenes with Rangiku and Tōshirō's ginkon's as well. The Bleach manga only touched on King in the omake sketches in the Bleach volumes. And Momone got canon screen time, but no dialogue. After writing scenes with them in my main story 'The Princess and the Tiger', I felt like delving into their characters for just a brief scene or two once again, but this was not the reason I wrote the chapter. I added both of them in separately and totally on different whims.
Quick trivia: The sub-title, 'Dinner for Who' is a play on the phrase 'Dinner for Two.' Karin didn't want to go to dinner, she was like 'Dinner for who? Pfft. I'm not going to that!' and then she and Tōshirō ended up eating dinner together anyways.
The blank expression Karin made when pointing at the sky and saying "moon" was partly inspired by Luffy pointing at the sky and saying "sky" in the Skypiea Arc of One Piece(it truthfully was just coincidence that I wrote Karin pointing up at the sky with a blank expression before I remembered Luffy did the same thing, so the comparison is sort of after the fact). Just imagine Karin making the same expression and you'll know why it's funny.