A/N: I know, I know, this probably isn't that great, but, it just sort of poured out of me a while back. (innuendo) I have TONS more to it, and, I want to publish it too, but, I've been stuck on it for some time, and, I thought, what the hell, maybe some feedback could help spur me along the writing path.
So here's the first bit that I wrote. I tweaked the end to give it something resembling closure, but, I'm not sure how well it went.
Feel free to review (duh) or PM me with your thoughts. I know it's not much to the story, but, I really do want to see how the readers respond to it!
(P.S. Um...This is obviously unbeta'd...I don't know any, and, I tend to make a typo here and ther...Or...everywhere...So, if you find an error in either spelling or punctuation? Fell free to PM or review and let me know. I want this to be a quality, well written fanfiction. SO, don't think you're going to hurt my feelings! Unless, of course, this was just one giant ass typo o_O Oh well. )
For the longest time, I could not hear her. Nor could I even feel her emotions. I couldn't feel anything from the house. Where had he taken her? What had he done to her? And then out of the silence, came a scream. Her scream, I was sure.
That sound. That…pain ridden shriek. I had no idea a human being could make that sound. It was unyielding, high and shrill. It seemed to last an eternity. And then it ceased. And then there came the sound of a low, guttural groan. It didn't sound human. It reminded me of a balloon. You blow it up and it wheezes real loud then sort of slows…stutters, almost. Like she'd taken in all that air and then released it so her lungs folded in on themselves. Almost like an accordion.
I moaned and screwed my eyes shut, as if it could make her stop.
She was so LOUD! It seemed as if she were right next to me, rather than miles and miles away. I could hear her as plain as day. Sometimes the advantage of supernaturally enhanced hearing wasn't exactly an advantage.
Then I felt what had caused her to scream. For such a long stretch, there was nothing. No fear, no pain, no emotions at all. And then there was a sharp, tearing sting. He had bitten her. The bite, it had thrilled her at first. Perhaps she had been trying to pretend it was me rather than him? Like if it had been me, it wouldn't have hurt so badly. But her thrill had been blown away by the pain of the ice cold teeth bearing into her flesh, digging and ripping through skin and muscle and nerves.
And then there was hot, searing pain where the cold once was. And the pain…Oh, God the pain…
The fire began to burn the bite at first, then spread, slowly. But once it hit her heart? She felt a deep, resounding THUD as the first drop of venom entered the main chambers. It felt like it reverberated all throughout her body. And it began slowly speeding, spreading more fire through her veins.
The low, guttural moaning ceased, and there was this long hiss. She was inhaling. After a time it stopped, and there it was. That piercing fucking shriek.
Great time to have vampire strength, right? Fat lot of good it was doing me now…I growled and pulled at my bindings even harder. I felt the diamond alloy steel squeezing me, my muscles almost expanding, trying to burst them apart. I roared, continuing to pull them, to try and break free. I collapsed, going as limp as a rag doll for a moment, and I heard it.
The nearly silent pinging, cracking sound. The sound of the diamond alloy steel cracking, fracturing just the tiniest bit. With newfound strength and hope, and the sound of Bella's cries in my ears, her pain as motivation, I summoned all my strength and pulled once more.
Freedom! The bindings shattered, and I heard that metallic crunching sound just like one of my kind being torn apart. I sprang forward and ran, pushing myself to go faster than I ever had. The trees were whizzing by so fast that I couldn't even focus on them. I only ran towards the sound of her speeding heart, her screams.
Her attacker had fled the moment he sensed my mind. Her shield, blown out to try and protect her from the unholy pain, had left her mind open to him. He would have seen it all. Everything. Would have seen her picture my mouth on her neck, right before the bite, if that was indeed what she had thought. And I was almost sure it had been. I almost felt smug.
And then I smelled her, her sweet, airy citrus-ey smell. The potent smell of her blood, still warm. There was a lot of it, that I was sure of. The smell burned my nose, and my throat blazed, my thirst like white hot fire, begging to be quenched. And then I smelled the harsh, icy, almost fuel like stench of his venom. I was nearly grateful for the distraction from her fragrant blood…Nearly. HIS venom was burning through her veins. Not mine.
Not like she'd wanted. Not like she'd pleaded for again and again all those nights. I stopped that thought in it's tracks, right there. This wasn't the time to be thinking of that now…. It had already affected me greatly as I'd remembered her begging me to make her immortal.
The smells grew in intensity, and the screams grew sharper, and then I saw her. He'd thrown her body against a tree so hard that there was presence of her body's impact on the thick trunk. She was still in my button down, but her jeans were gone. Her legs were bruised and bleeding, as was the rest of her body. It seemed he had raked her flesh with his steel nails, there were open, bleeding wounds on her chest and her thighs.
Finally I was at her side and I reached for her. Her eyes were bloodshot, perhaps from the pressure from screaming so hard. Her eyes did not meet mine, I don't even think they registered my face mere inches from hers, or my hands, unsure where to grab her as to not cause her more pain.
I couldn't make it better. I couldn't save her from this fate. God help me, part of me wanted to, but, another part of me was cheering, although somewhat bittersweetly. She was changing, after all. And now she would be mine forever.
"I'm here, Bella," I whispered to her, stroking her bruised cheek as she screamed and thrashed. "Shh, I know baby...I know...I know you're hurting. He's going to pay for this, love. He. Will. Pay. He hurt you, and I couldn't stop him..."
She continued to shriek, and with each scream that ripped from her bruised and broken body, the few remaining animals in the area got further and further away. I had to move her. Someone might hear her...
Carefully, I gathered her into my arms, winching as I jostled her broken bones. Starting off slowly, finding a quick, but, smoothe pace, I sprinted for the house. The others should be home soon. They would need to be aware of the traitor amongst them. They had to know how far off the beaten path their golden child had wandered. And they had to made to understand, that, sooner or later, no matter how far I had to chase, or how fast I had to run...I would find him. And I would end him.
A/N: Well, there you has it. Uh...THis is tha part where I ask you to review. I will ask, but, I know not many readers will! I am one of those "read-and-then-if-you-have-time-review" readers...But...For reals, guys, if you liked it, let a girl know! Recc this to your buddies! Spread the word! Or...you know...Flame me? Either way do something! And then eat an apple. Honeycrisp, if you have them. THey're the bee's knees. ^_^