This came to me, when I watched the last episode of Desperate Housewives, where Andrea Parker showed up as Tom's new girlfriend. I recently finished watching the whole Pretender series for the second time and I just had to write something about Miss Parker and Lyle meeting again after many, many years. They never really mentioned in which state Wisteria Lane in Fairview is, so I'll say it's not toooo far away from Blue Cove. Oh and there is a spoiler about the Halloween episode, but I am not gonna use it so don't worry, you won't get spoiled here^^


Jane Parker watched her daughter drive away from her house. Well it wasn't her biological daughter. She had adopted her when she was 16, she was now 21. Chloe, Baby Parker, whom she called Elias, her daughter Faith and Parker had settled down in a very suburban and rich area. She had chosen her career path, with forged papers of course, as a pediatrician. She had taken some medical classes in university and it wasn't too hard for her to pretend the rest. She had the Pretender gene after all, it wasn't as developed as Jarod's, but it was enough to diagnose the measles or a cough and nobody ever questioned her abilities, she was actually quite popular.

A couple of weeks after the Centre was taken down by the police and was turned into a business building, were growing companies could rent sublevels for their offices, Miss Parker was sentenced to five years of prison. She only served two of those and was discharged early on good behavior.

Broots had to do community service, but nothing too bad and poor Sydney went to prison for seven years, for actively assisting in holding children in the Centre against their will. Raines killed himself after he was sentenced for life and Lyle the little bastard got away, she had never heard another word from him.

After prison she met her ex-husband, but in hint side she knows she only married him because he was so much like Thomas. He was tall and muscular, caring and nice. After adopting Chloe, having their own child and living together for a few years she realized he wasn't what she really wanted. Life with him was nice, but it wasn't exciting or extraordinary wonderful and most importantly he wasn't Thomas after all. Though she would always love him, because he had given her two of her children.

She had thought when she was free of the Centre, she would be free altogether, but she had been wrong. It was really hard to make friends. Their little everyday problems always seem so trivial, that she found it hard to really care or relate for any of them. None of those women had carried a gun, shot people, fought for their own lives or sat in a prison. So she spent most of her days either working or spending time with her daughters and little brother who wouldn't stop calling her mom until she relented and let him. It was getting annoying anyway to have to explain to people why she had such a young brother and why he was living with her. She had Elias blood tested and it had turned out, that his biological parents had been Raines and Bridget. She had been happy, that at least that part of her live at the Centre hadn't been a lie.

Chloe and she had just come back from visiting Sydney in prison. He would be released soon and Miss Parker was making preparations for him to move to Fairview with her. Broots still lived in Blue Cove, but he and Debbie came to visit every once in a while and Debbie and Chloe got along very well.

Just two weeks ago Parker had met a man. She never thought she'd consider another man for some time, but Tom was heartwarming. He was in the process of separating from his wife with whom he has half a dozen of kids. Not a man she would normally date, but she couldn't resist when he moved into the apartment next to theirs and asked her out with a nice smile and wit.

They had gone to dinner and he had picked her up from her daughter's gymnastics class and they went for some coffee. That's where she also unknowingly met his soon to be ex-wife Lynette and her friend who had come to spy on her. They had gone off on a good foot, but then Lynette still thought Chloe was the one who dated Tom. Funny situation when you think about it.

Now Tom had invited her to the Wisteria Lane Halloween Party and she wanted to refuse. She had had enough wheezing creatures and mass murderers for a lifetime and those had been real and breathing. She really had wanted to refuse, but then she thought again and decided it couldn't be all too bad playing a little dress up and to get to know Tom's friends. Though they would all hate her, but she was pretty used to being hated so she didn't mind. She had spent two hours in the costume shop earlier and in the end she had chosen a Sigourney Weaver costume. A little leather and she'd be able to carry a gun. Yes, a fake gun, but she'd feel a bit more comfortable. She nearly went with Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, but then her mind went back to Jarod and his little torture with the Labyrinth. She just couldn't give him the satisfaction. After the Centre went down she had seen Jarod in court when he refused to testify against her and then again later when he visited her in prison for her birthday and Christmas. He had been so sorry that she went to prison. What did he think would happen? Even though they couldn't prosecute her for chasing Jarod, because he denied everything, she had still worked for the company knowing what went on without stopping it. She had known about Lyle's murders, the testing and holding people against their will. She wasn't proud about what she had done, but she also knew she would have been dead before she could even pick up the phone to call the police had she ever tried to rat the Centre out. Anyway, her gun was one of the only things she had kept from her time at the Centre. It made her feel safe and she liked practicing at the shooting range from time to time. Tom said one of his friends, a woman called Bree, liked to target shoot as well, maybe she'll try to warm that woman up to her first. Faith and Elias had a babysitter and Chloe was off to some party. She is old enough to do whatever she wants to do. Parker had to remind herself of that again and again. Letting go was the hardest thing she had ever done.


(Authors note: for the costume I'm thinking this t i n y . c c / 7 r 7 t 9 Just remove the spaces inbetween the letters)


She already rolled her eyes when Tom, she and Penny, one of Tom's kids who had stayed with their dad for the day, walked up the driveway to the house. Pumpkins and ghosts were everywhere, as were fake ghost noises and fog. She had softened her demeanor a bit, but sometimes the old Miss Parker reared her head and she couldn't hold it back anymore. Tom was dressed as a dead baseball player and Penny was a little Vampire. Tom held her hand and squeezed it lightly, knowing of her non-desire to be there

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them?" Parker asked when they stood in front of the door.

Penny and Tom looked at her and knitted their eyebrows confused. "Because people are dying to get in!" she ended and Tom chuckled, while Penny burst out into laughter.

"Haha, I've got to tell my brothers that one, they're going to love it! Great Jane." she answered and Tom knocked on the door while he leaned over to give her a brief kiss on the lips.

"You are funny."

She didn't have time to answer because a huge Hulk opened the door for them, gesturing them to get inside without really looking at them.

"Hey Tom, Penny. And you must be Jane. I'm Mike, man in the house." They shook hands and he still seemed preoccupied with something that was going on in the kitchen.

"Sorry got to go, my son is trying to reach the candy again." He was gone before she could say a word.

"Seems like a nice guy, even though I don't know what he looks like and he didn't seem very interested in me…" she said jokingly and grinned at Tom.

"He is a cool guy, you're gonna like him. Let me introduce you to the rest, the sooner we get this over with the better."

"For you or for me, Mister?" she laughed again and hit him on the arm.

"For me of course!" he answered, what cost him another light hit.

"Ow you are brutal!"

"And you are mean. They all hate me."

They were still in the hallway, out of eyeshot from the other party guests, except for a single older couple talking in the corner. Tom took her hand in his and smiled reassuringly. "You are with me, they'll be polite, don't worry."

Then he pulled her after him into the living room, where about 30 people were gathered and half of them turned around when they entered, looking her up and down. They made their way to Lynette who was dressed as a simple witch. To her luck she was surrounded with what seemed like her little bitch club. A small, well trained brunette in a Genie suit, a tall red head as Gretel, another brunette as Jane from Tarzan and the woman who had been at the gym together with Lynette that day as Xena. How fitting.

"Hello Lynette, I'm Jane." Parker said and stretched out her hand with all the power she had.

"I know you." Was all she said and stormed off, followed by her friend from the gym, Renee. That was at least the name Tom had given her. She glanced briefly after her and then focused on the woman in front of her, offering her still outstretched hand to the small brunette to her left.

"Hello I am Gabrielle Solis." Gaby shook her hand and smiled, a bit forced, but not unfriendly.

"Jane Parker, nice to meet you." She smiled sincerely.

"Jane, I am Bree, Tom told me you like guns." Bree said and took Parkers hand as well.

"He told me the same about you. We should talk." Parker smiled showing off her plastic Smith&Wesson. I have a few of these in real." Bree smiled and shook her head yes.

"We will Jane."

Miss Parker turned to the last woman.

"Hello, you must be the woman of the house, thanks for having us."

"Susan Delfino, interesting to meet you. You are tall, nearly as tall as…"

"…Mary Alice, an old friend." Gaby finished.

"What are you, 5'11?" Susan asked.

"5'10 actually." Parker could feel the eyes on her from all sides, she felt uncomfortable. "I'm sorry this is so awkward, I know Lynette is your friend and I really shouldn't have come, but Tom and Penny insisted and yeah…" she certainly had never been short for words, but maybe this suburban life really HAD made her soft. Damned. She started to walk away, but Bree caught her arm.

"Don't worry about Lynette." She said and pulled away again.

"Yeah, you are welcome in my house. A pediatrician was still missing in the neighborhood and with all the candy here today it's good to have you here in case of an overdose."

Miss Parker chuckled and smiled at them.

"That's nice of you all."

"No problem." Susan said and added "Oh and here is my husband Mike." She pulled him over to her and he embraced her.

"We have already met honey." He said and looked Parker in the eyes for the first time. He seemed to be frozen to death and Susan was starting to try to get out of her gasp.

"Earth to Mike!" she said and pinched him in the shoulder.

That did the trick, because he sprang to life. "Miss Parker!" he stuttered in disbelief and dis-masked, pulling his Hulk mask of his face.

"Lyle!" Parker couldn't believe whom she had in front of her. She had the need to run away or pull her gun, though neither was an option for she was in a house full of people she wanted to make a good impression on and she didn't carry her real gun. "What in hell are you doing here?" she asked taking a few steps back.

"What in hell are you doing here? Are you alone?" he asked paranoid.

"If I'm al… yes I am. Sam isn't the good follower he once was!" she said sarcastically.

The other woman looked back and forth between the people they knew as Mike and Jane. Tom had joined the conversation. "Hey guys how is it going?" he asked and snaked an arm around Parker.

"You two know each other?" Susan asked, ignoring Tom.

"That's the understatement of the year." Parker answered without taking her eyes from Lyle. "Tell me again… no don't tell me here."

"What understatement?" Gaby said, trying to get an answer out of them.

"Go ahead, tell her little bro, it should come from you, they're your friends after all." Parker smirked and folded her arms across her chest.

"Mike, tell me instantly what's going on here?"

He breathed in and out twice to calm himself down before he could answer.

"She is my sister. Miss Parker is my twin sister." He managed to say.

"Oh Lyle or is it Mike, please tell them more. Oh and I see you found a new thumb as well! Congratulations! Tom told me you are a plumber. Must be a bitch to hold a skewer without one."

"I'm not the same person I was before Parker, you have to believe me."

"That or you just needed the perfect cover. It never served me good before to believe you." She had nearly forgotten all the people around them.

"Cover for what?" Bree asked. Nobody understood what they were talking about.

"Mike, you have a twin sister? Why have you never told me about her? Your parents never talked about her either."

"They have forgotten about me." She lied. "Come on Lyle, we've got to talk in private for a minute. Please excuse us everyone, we have some catching up to do. Tom, I'll explain later, I'm sorry. This must be weird for you." She said, smiling nicely. Then she turned, signaling for Lyle to follow her.

"I'll explain later Susan, please; we really have to talk now."

He gave her a kiss on the cheek and followed Parker out of the house to the front yard.

As soon as she was sure nobody had followed or was listening in, she slapped Lyle hard across the face.

"Ouch, what was that for, sis?" he asked, rubbing his cheek.

"Well, I went to prison and you got away. It's as easy as that. I would drag you to the station now if I hadn't seen your family in there. How did you get away anyway?"

"I was lucky enough walking in on Angelo sending Jarod files, I checked them later and immediately knew what Jarod was up to. My advantage was that I had a little head start. Parker, please stop this, I know you have no reason to trust me that I have changed, but I did, I have a family now and I will not risk them for anything." Miss Parker was surprised when she saw sincerity in his eyes. "Parker, I think this is as important to you as it is for me. I'm sorry you went to prison. I followed some of the court news on TV and I knew about Sydney, but no one else. Look, after I escaped I knew my lifestyle had to change and I ended up here and I am happy. Please don't destroy that." He looked like he wanted to say more, but Parker stopped him with her hand.

"If I go along with your little life lie you have going on here, what are we going to tell people about me being your twin sister you haven't told people about for a decade? Maybe the best thing to say would that we got separated at birth, you went to your adoptive parents and I was sent away to…"

"I think your little lie is the right start."

"I'll think of something. You owe me big times. In fact, I will collect favors from you every day I see you. You are not getting off the hook that easy Lyle. I really only do this because of Tom. One wrong move and you are in court faster than you can say defense lawyer." She threatened.

"Understood. By the way… Tom? I didn't think he was your type. Kids and white picket fences never seemed to be your thing really."

"Well, considering you used to murder your wives, this doesn't really seem to be your thing either Leatherface."

"So any kids?" he asked trying to lighten her mood before they went back inside.

"Well Lyle..."

"Please start calling me Mike Parker."

"Then you'll call me Jane and I can't promise you 'Mike', but it won't be Lyle. I'll come up with some nice nicknames for you."

"Is that your real first name?"

"Sure, I'm not on the run from the law as you are. Only the credentials for my job are fake. My full name is Doctor Jane Catherine Parker."

"I never thought I would have the honor of knowing your first name, Jane. It's weird calling you that."

"Okay, so before we go back inside you have to catch me up on your lies. What's your kid's name?"

"M.J. and he is very smart."

"Is he carrying the pretender gene?"

"I don't know."

"Right answer."

"What kind of doctor are you?"


"So you do like kids? Again, do you have any?"


"Wow, care to elaborate?"

"First I am Elias legal guardian, our little brother if you haven't forgotten him. My ex-husband and I adopted Chloe, who is 21 now and we had Faith, she is three. We divorced when she was six month old."

"Cool. I'd love to meet them. It's weird that we have lived so close to each all these years and only now run into each other."

"Not weird, it's pure luck for me. At least I had a few years break from you. Let's get back inside, I feel safer there. You wanted me dead for as long as I can remember."

"And you shot me!"

"That was my job and I didn't know who you were then. If I had known you were my brother I wouldn't have shot you." She said while walking back up to the front door. He sighed and opened the door for her. Oh what a night.

While trying his best to calm down Susan and explain to her why nobody knew of Parker, he couldn't help but look back to her every once in a while. Parker had really changed. She looked healthier; she laughed more and was nice to other people. The first had probably a lot to do with the other two things. But with no doubt in his mind was she as deadly as ever and he had to be careful not to piss her off, she held his happiness in her hands.

Parker was still half in shock while she chatted with Tom about 'Mike'. It wasn't as big a problem for her as it was for Lyle, that she hadn't told Tom yet. They didn't know each other as long as Lyle knew his wife.

"We found out about each other in our 30ies and haven't seen much of each other since then. So it was a big shock now."

"That must have been horrible Jane; I am so sorry that happened to you." Tom said sincerely and took her hand in his.

"I got used to not having any family beside my kids and I am okay with it. They are all I need, but you know that. They are the most important thing in one's life."

"They are, even if they sometimes make it a bit hell as well." He said and smiled one of his knock-out smiles again.

"True, they can be a real handful. One of them is just coming out of the diapers and my other one has three jobs." She answered, smiling back at him.

He looked as if he wanted to kiss her, but they both knew that wasn't the place or time for that.

"Hold that thought Mister." She whispered "I'm going to get to know some more people, that's why I'm here and you should probably talk to Lynette or she strangles someone, most likely me or you." Parker said and pointed to Lynette in the corner, she was shooting daggers at them.

"You are right, I should talk to her. Good luck."

"You too." She smiled and he walked over to his wife.

Maybe Parker wasn't very smart to get involved with a still married man. Being the rebound girl never served anyone good, but she couldn't resist to at least try. She straightened her leather jacket and decided to have that talk with Bree.

Half an hour later they were still talking and they had arranged a meeting to compare their skills. She had caught sight of Tom and Lynette a couple of times, talking quietly in the corner, but as she was looking out for them now, she could only find Tom talking to a Latino guy. That must be Carlos, Gaby's husband.

"You seem to really like Tom." She was suddenly interrupted by Bree.

Parker looked at her and smiled. "Yes I do, but I try not to kid myself. There is a possibility, that he can work it out with Lynette. I try not to turn a blind eye on that. I don't want to be a family wrecker. I'm not that kind of person, trust me. But yes, I really like him. He is smart, funny and good looking."

"If you say so, I have known him and the other men in this street so long, I don't even see stuff like that anymore. Would you excuse me for a second?" Bree smiled.

"Sure go ahead."

When Bree left, Parker stood in the room full of people she hardly knew and didn't know where to go next. She decided to join Tom in his conversation.

"Jane hey. Jane, this is Carlos Solis. Carlos, this is Dr Jane Parker." Tom introduced them.

"Jane, I heard a lot about you."

"Only good stuff I hope."

"Yes, only good stuff. Naturalmente!"

"¿De dónde eres?"

"México! Lamentablemente solo conozco muy poca gente aqui en Fairview que habla español."

"I don't know many people either. I'm always looking for ways to improve my skills." Parker continued in fluent Spanish.

"Hey, I'm still here!" Tom said in English, clearly lost.

"Sorry Tom." Carlos said. "So Jane, which languages do you speak?"

"You wouldn't believe me." Said Parker and tried to reduce the number to a believable count.

"Try me, I speak four. Now you."

But on the other hand was it always fun to see the people's faces. And lying would be wrong.

"English, Spanish, German, Italian, French, Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Afrikaans, Dutch, Portuguese, Russian and some more, but the others not fluently."

As suspected, the two men looked at her as if she had grown another head.

"12 and another few a bit? Show-off." Tom grinned and put his arm around her waist. "You are like a super spy or something. How do you know so many?"

"I was in boarding school in many different countries. Then I worked as a translator in the Bangkok embassy for two years. I'm a fast learner." She tried to explain.

"Well, you are a smart woman, what are you doing hanging around with Tom?" Carlos asked playfully.

"She knows what's good." Tom replied with self-confidence.

"He is right." Parker added and smiled, pulling his arm further around her body.

The evening wore on, costume parts were discarded, kids were sent to bed and the adults got drunk. Parker still sipped on her second glass of wine, while others were finishing off their second bottle.

"Hey Sis, can I get you anything more? Once you could drink anyone under the table, what happened?" Lyle/Mike asked.

"Raines is dead. I don't need it to get to sleep anymore. I stopped drinking hard alcohol, when we adopted Chloe. You should think about it too, Yakuza boy." She said and glanced down at his glass of scotch. "I don't want to know what happens when you are really drunk. You could forget all your good intentions."

"Not gonna happen, I'm too happy here. I like your costume by the way."

Without answering him she walked away and told Tom she wanted to leave soon, because she had to displace the babysitter, but the truth was she had to get away from Lyle and think about things. She had to find out if his white shirt is really as white as he was telling her. And there was one person who could find out for her. She would have to call Jarod.


To be continued... if you want it to.



Okay, please review, that would be very much appriciated!

I know the Housewives may seem too nice to Jane, but it would get boring otherwise.