A/N Hey guys, I wrote this ages ago. I wrote it literally 10 minutes after I watched the season 1 finale. So, I mean, I couldn't talk and I was like 'I have to express myself and write about it.' So it's kind of an extra on top of what happened, it ends differently and season 2 never happened.
Also, I don't own anything. Sighs of discontent.
His grip around my neck is too tight; it's a struggle just to breathe the slightest. Come to think of it, at this point that feels like an understatement. I'm in pain; I'm being strangled with a gun in favour of shooting me, buried deep into my side. I've witnessed my brother nearly dying, or at least I pray to the heavens he is still alive. I can feel the blood rushing in my ears; hear it even. Everything in these moments now is so fast, so surreal.
Marino kept his hold; it's so strong as he's pulling me out the door, slowly down the stairs whilst I attempt to fight against him. I can hear both Frost and Korsak across the street as if they were right next to me, Marino at my ear and my own shrill screams for mercy were deafening me all at once. My view as to what's happening right now seems rather distorted and fucked up. But then again, I have an excuse. Marino held me in front of him as he walked; so now I'm a human shield. Great. I kept up the failing battle against him as he drags me to my car.
'Get out your keys!' He kept on yelling. Yeah right, like I'm going to get out my keys for you. He keeps on repeating it, poking and prodding me with his gun in sharp movements, dragging me, suffocating me.
'SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM!' I could barely breathe, but I managed that to escape my lips. I tried moving myself out of the way whilst still playing 'the wrestling game' with Marino. The team across the street, I'm not too sure who, but someone attempted a shot at Marino. But he dodged it. Fuck. I can't let him get away. And for the briefest moment I feel some sort of relief, and realise that the gun which was sunk into my torso has been removed. But why? I glance up to notice Marino's quick thinking. He's going to kill me. Time to do what I do best no matter the consequences; my job.
I manage an arm free and reach up to grab the gun, pulling it and his arm down with mine. He put up a hell of a fight, but I overpowered him; must've been the adrenaline. I moved my finger to the trigger as I pulled the gun straight to my abdomen. Marino fought for the gun back whilst I forgot to think about what I was doing and was set purely on improvising with my use of natural instincts.
As my instincts took over, my finger applied pressure to the trigger and fired the gun into my abdomen, hopefully piercing the grappling body on my back too. His release grew weak and I knew I succeeded. As reality set in, I realised how loud the shot was and how muffled the sounds around me were. As we both toppled to the ground, the pain became real and present. It hurt like a bitch. I can feel myself fading in and out of what I think is consciousness.
My sights and sounds were blurry, I could barely keep my eyes open, and it seemed everything and everyone around me was moving in slow-motion; like in a fantasy. If Maura were here she would be in the middle of explaining how illogical this was or something, using nonsense, big words to try and confuse me. Maura.
I'm convinced by now I'm dying. But I have to live, for Maura I told myself. I can see people running toward me, and I heard a high-pitched, shrill scream. People start to gather around me, whilst I lay here, motionless on the cold, now blood-stained pavement. I felt lost inside my own body, I felt pain, but I wasn't sure where. I knew where it was supposed to be, but it felt out of place. People are talking around me, I can't seem to identify who, or even the words their speaking. But then it started to become clearer; clear enough so I could understand anyway.
'..get and ambulance! Call 911'
'Officer down! Repeat officer down!'
'We have an officer down, shot. Another man too.'
'Officer Jane Rizzoli'
'JANE! JANE! STAY WITH ME JANE!' Maura?
Oh god, Maura. I fought with myself to open my eyes, it's so hard. I'll at least be able to muster up words.
'Mmm… Mauuu… Maur… uuhhh…' was all I could seem to muster up, pain overtaking my self-control.
'It's ok, sweetheart. I'm here. Everything's going to be ok.' Her voice was shaky as she spoke, and she was gently running her hand over my face and through my hair whilst crouching down beside me.
'Fff… ffr.. Frankie..?' It was barely a whisper, but my throat was so dry…
'He's ok, he's just fine.' Maura grabbed my hand. I started to become more aware of my pain, as it started to drag me under. My eyelids were so heavy, so I let them fall. My waist and abdomen felt so tight, I started gasping for air; quick, deep gasps. I attempted squeezing Maura's hand, but it was as if my hand was switched off – not just my hand, all my limbs. Anywhere that wasn't 'switched off' was saturated in unbelievable pain.
I managed to open my eyes long enough to steal a glance at Maura. My perfect, beautiful, brave Maura.
'I won't let you end up on my table Jane. You can't end up on my table.'
Blackness started to take over. My vision, or what of it, was clouded; as were my thoughts. My sound was slightly muffled again, barely though. I began focussing on something to keep me present. Maura. I told myself once, and I'll tell myself again; live. Live for her.
Where were my lips? She needs to know how much I love her. And she needs to know now. WHY CAN'T I SAY ANYTHING?
'Jane, I love you. Always have, always will.'
'Looovvvve….yy..you….t…' Was that even audible? Did I even say it, or did I just think it?
There it was again. Pain. Large, heavy loads of it. I was barely self-aware enough to tell I was being lifted; onto a stretcher maybe? I'm moving either way. I could feel hands on me, but it was ok because for some reason the pain was slowly fading away. Thank god, that was unbearable. Is that my heart rate I can hear? It's awfully slow…
The paramedics worked over me as I lay motionless, drifting into nothingness and letting the blackness take me under.