Disclaimer : SM owns Twilight. This mind-fuck? Mine.

A/N : If you're looking for cupcakes and rainbows... THIS AIN'T IT.

Chapter One: Meeting Bella

He left.

Walked out.

Without a word.

While I was sleeping.

The coward.

While I was fucking sleeping!






No why.

No goodbye.

No explanation of any kind.

No balls.

The fucking pussy.

He couldn't even face me.

I wish I'd have woken up.

Not to stop him...

Well... not from leaving.

If he really wanted to go...

But something...



I wish I'd have fucking woken up.

To catch him.

To see him sneaking away in the dark.

Just hours after he fucked me.

Hours after he screamed my name.

Hours after he said he loved me.

Hours after he lied.

It's been 365 days.

Since I woke up and found him gone.

365 days...

That I've woken up and cried because he still hadn't come back.

365 fucking days wondering why?

365 days that ended with no answers.

364 nights that I crawled into bed with hope...

Hope that he would be there when I woke up. This time.

Hope that was crushed again and again with every breaking dawn.

Hope that now is with me no more.



I turn off the light and crawl into bed on this, the 365th night, with no hope to cling to.

It left me in the light of day.

It left me when I could see.

Now it's dark and I'm alone once again.


Not quite alone.

There's something else...

Something there...






I feel it.

I hear it.

It calls to me.

It screams my name.

And I listen.

Because I know it doesn't lie.

And I know it will still be here when I wake up.

I know I can trust it.

I embrace the darkness and close my eyes with a smile on my face.

I'm smiling.

I haven't done that in 365 days.

Since the night he left without saying goodbye.


I'm smiling, too. But then... I don't have a dick.

So... thoughts? You know what I want.

** A little note to any new readers who may have come along... I forgot that I had a mess here that wasn't tidied up. The chapter titles at the top of each will very quickly not make sense. Ignore them. The ones–and numbers–in the dropdown are correct. They were easy to fix.