Yup, Swiftshadow here…I know I should be working on Four Minutes Before Death, but I have many rabid plot demons snapping at my fingers. So I figured I'll post chapters on the stories I don't have Writer's Block on.

Tachi: Swift doesn't own Shadow, or any of the songs in this fic! She only owns her OCs, PS2, Netbook and soul!


Shadow The Hedgehog: The Abridged Files

Chapter 1: IT'S NOT ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE!

I'm not sure even where to start with this…I guess it all started when I got the epic Shadow the Hedgehog game. I've been a Sonic fan ever since I watched Sonic X when I was younger, but then a new fluffy dude walked onto the scene.

Shadow.

I just had to get his video game…even if it's epically hard, and even if I fail and die all the time, I have to try.

Because I know I can beat it.


Fanfiction Dimension

Tachi the Jackal stared across at the strange human girl sitting next to her, holding a PS2 console. The girl had scruffy dark brown hair, was wearing some kind of school uniform, and had glasses perched crookedly on her nose, tilting at an angle.

"Swift? Aren't you going to turn on the game console?" She asked. The girl slowly turned to her, and started singing randomly.

IT'S ALWAYS HARD WHEN YOUR JOURNEY BEGINS,

HARD TO FIND YOUR WAY, HARD TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS!

BUT THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO,

'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT THE POWER INSIDE OF YOU!

Tachi covered her ears in shock as the author sang the Pokémon Black and White theme song. And then it got worse, as a random kid with grey hair and mismatched eyes, possibly an OC called Akemi, walked in and started joining in the singing, while playing his guitar.

IT'S NOT ALWAYS

BLACK AND WHITE!

BUT YOUR HEART ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT'S RIGHT!

IT'S NOT ABOUT WIN OR LOSE,

IT'S THE PATH YOU CHOOSE,

LET THE JOURNEY BEGIN.

POKEMON!

"What the heck did I just sing?" Akemi asked himself, wondering why on earth would he get up and sing a cheesy Pokémon song.

"Don't ask me! Just get on with the story!" Tachi yowled.

"I just wanted to make an impression…" The author complained.

"Well, you did it, by deafening any new readers! They probably ran away screaming! NOW ON WITH THE STORY!"


After that plot building interruption to our story, the scene switched to a grassy hill, with a lone tree on it. A black hedgehog with red stripes stared into the distance, giving certain fangirls playing the game heart attacks.

"Shadow the Hedgehog…why does that name haunt me? It's the only thing I can remember…and that gruesome image…" Shadow shivered as he remembered a distant memory.

Shadow's flashback

Shadow was quietly standing in the field, minding his own business, when a piece of paper decided to blow along and stick itself to his leg. He kicked it off, but the paper just came back, and flew right into his face.

What images he saw on the paper, made him want to bleach his eyes. For the picture was the Sonic fanbase's scariest imagining of all…

SONADOW.

"IT BURNS! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT WITH THE BLUE FAKER! AHHH!" Shadow gave a manly scream as he was buried alive in more Sonadow. The pile of paper soon stopped moving, and all was silent in the meadow.

Which brings us to this moral.

Every time you draw graphic Sonadow, Shadow loses a life. That is all.

*end of flashback*

"Thank Chaos I had an extra life…and there was another memory as well…something about a girl called Marie or Marine or something like that…" Shadow mused. He looked up at the sky.

"I SAID, THERE WAS ANOTHER MEMORY!"

"Oh, pipe down, we heard you for the first time…" Tachi replied back out of nowhere.

"Then why isn't your author writing it?"

"Every time she even HEARS Maria's death, she turns into a trembling nervous wreck who shouts, 'TRAGIC!' at random times. It was so bad the last time, Akemi had to go to the shop and buy triple chocolate fudge sugar brownies, with extra chocolate chips." Tachi explained.

"Sigh, whatever."

Tachi's presence vanished, as the sky suddenly went a pretty red colour. Clouds started swirling over the nearby city, and ALIENS rained down.

"ZOMG, IT'S RAINING ALIENS! THIS IS A RESULT OF CLIMATE CHANGE! AHHHH!" A poor driver screamed as his car was flipped over by a giant alien.

"BLARG!" It roared, doing a victory pose. Meanwhile, back by the safe tree, Shadow had somehow seen the accident. Don't ask me how.

"Pathetic humans…I don't have any time for this…" He started to walk away, when some eye…alien…purple thingy zoomed over to him. A large hologram of an alien with three eyes, a robe and more bling than a rapper, appeared.

"IS THIS THING ON? IT IS? OKAY THEN." The alien turned his attention to Shadow.

"Just who are you?" Shadow asked, not sure whether to reach for his machine gun, or run away screaming.

"SILENCE! I AM BLACK DOOM! YOUR…" Black Doom paused, and then continued.

"NEVER MIND! YOU ARE RELATED TO ME IN NO POSSIBLE WAY! YOU DEFINETLY AREN'T MY SON!"

"…What?"

"ANYHOW, THE DAY OF RECKONING IS HERE. BRING ME THE SEVEN CHAOS EMERALDS, AND I'LL TELL YOU YOUR PAST. YOU HAVE THREE DAYS, OR ELSE!" Black Doom threatened.

"…Why should I follow your orders?" Shadow said, crossing his arms.

"DON'T QUESTION MY AUTHORITY, BOY! FIND THE CHAOS EMERALDS, OR…OR…" The alien stopped. He needed Shadow to find the Chaos emeralds, so he couldn't exactly kill him. He decided to settle for the next best thing.

"FIND ME THE CHAOS EMERALDS, AND I'LL REVEAL YOUR PAST, AND YOU'LL ALSO GET A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF SPICY MEAT FEAST PIZZA, FROM DOMINO'S."

"PIZZA? I'm in."

"EXCELLENT. HEAD TO THE WORTHLESS PATHETIC IDIOTIC HUMAN CITY, AND YOU'LL FIND THE CHAOS EMERALD THERE." Black Doom vanished, and the eye flew off.

"Well, if he's going to give me free pizza, and tell me my past…I have to listen to him. Even though something's telling me that three eyed aliens aren't good news." Shadow said to himself. He skated down the hill…

And the epic quest for the pizza, I mean, Shadow's past began.


"Then what was the point of you singing Pokemon Black and White?" Tachi wondered. Swift shrugged.

"I like messing with people's minds. That's why I picked Psychology as a GCSE subject. Now HIT IT AKEMI!" Swift yelled to the teenager, who was holding his guitar. Tachi grabbed some drumsticks, and both of them started to play the actual theme song to Shadow the Hedgehog, with Akemi singing (properly) this time.

I see no evil, hear no evil!

Black writing on the wall,

Unleashed the million faces,

And one by one they fall!

Black hearted hero,

Brave hearted hero,

I am all, I am all I am,

I…I…I…I am,

Here we go buddy,

Here we go buddy,

Here we go,

Here we go buddy,

Here we go!

Go ahead and try to see through me,

Do it if you dare,

One step forward, two steps back, I'm here!

(One step forward two steps back!)

Do it…do it…do it…DO IT!

Can you see all of me?

Walk into my mystery,

Step inside and hold on for dear life!

Do you remember me?

Capture you or set you free,

I am all, I am all of me

(I am all, I am all of me!)

I am…I am, I am all of me,

I am…I am, I am all of me,

I am…I am, I am all of me,

Here go…I am all of me!

"WOOT!" Swift shouted.

"TACOS!" Tachi added in randomly. Akemi just stared at them.


Ooh…what will happen next? Why does Akemi have grey hair? Why does Tachi like tacos? Will I ever brush my hair? And will Shadow fail his epic quest?

Find out next time, on-

Tachi: Shadow The Hedgehog: The Abridged Files!

Except I don't feel like brushing my hair. ^_^