Hiding Secrets From Blacks Is Never Easy

Author Note: Am I Joanne Kathleen Rowling? Nope. It's not mine, then. A few people have done this AU situation, but I'm giving it a very funny edge. Some bits are dialogue and passages directly taken from the fifth book, or parodies or rephrasings of such.

Harry arrived early at the Room of Requirement for the last DA meeting before the holidays. He saw that Dobby the house-elf had taken it upon himself to decorate the place for Christmas. Nobody else would have strung a hundred golden baubles from the ceiling with Harry's face on, and bearing the message 'HAVE A VERRY HARRY CHRISTMAS'. Harry had only just managed to get the last of them down before the door creaked open. Luna Lovegood walked in, projecting her dreamy demanour as usual. The-Boy-Who-Lived's heart skipped a beat. Harry never admitted it, even to himself, but seeing the Ravenclaw made him realise. He liked Luna. Liked her a lot, actually. There was something about her that made her just... beautiful. Harry smiled at her. She beamed back. Harry nearly swooned.

"Hello," she said vaguely, looking around at what remained of the decorations. "These are nice, did you put them up?"

"No," said Harry, "it was Dobby the house-elf."

"Mistletoe." said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries. Harry glanced at the mistletoe briefly, and even less briefly at Luna.

Thank you Merlin, you have spared me some mercy he thought - he'd had quite a complicated year. Luna had helped soothe him and calmed him down whenever he felt in one of his sulky moods, and now Merlin was giving him a golden opportunity.

"Harry...?" Luna questioned, before she was cut off in a gentle kiss. Back in Harry's mind, fireworks were going off. Luna suddenly clicked, and poured passion back into the kiss. Harry chuckled mentally. Trust Luna to march to the beat of her own drum, even in a situation like this. When they broke apart, they were both smiling. And blushing a fierce red.

"You look cute when you match your house colour Harry." Luna quipped. Harry laughed, blushing even more because of Luna's compliment. "It's nice that you became my friend." the Ravenclaw said. Harry was stunned momentarily.

"Luna, listen to me. You're amazing, noble, smart and sweet. I'm honoured to be your friend. And the rest of the DA are your friends too, don't ever doubt that." At Harry's comment, Luna smiled, pecked him on the cheek, and skipped away. In a matter of seconds, Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell and Alicia Johnson arrived in the Room. All three of them were breathless and looked very cold.

The last meeting before Christmas went well, and soon Harry was biding Luna a 'Merry Christmas' - damn, those eyes he thought, looking into Luna's silvery-blue orbs with love. She replied with a 'Happy Christmas' and beamed, walking away. Harry realised Cho Chang remained.

"What's up?" he said, feebly.

"I'm - sorry." Cho said thickly. "I suppose... it's just... learning all this stuff... it just makes me... wonder whether... if he'd known it all... he'd still be alive." she finished. Harry groaned inwardly. He'd taken Cedric's death hard too, but he'd gotten over it. Oddly enough, he'd met Luna because of it; the girl he loved with every heartbeat.

"Look Cho, Cedric cared about you, and I know he'd want you to move on." he said.

"Th-thanks Harry." Cho replied, her voice shaky. She walked out. Harry walked back to Gryffindor Tower. He slumped next to Ron and Hermione, a smile on his face. Hermione, being who she was, demanded to know what the smile was for. Eventually, after some trying-to-be-neutral comments from Ron and Hermione regarding a certain Ravenclaw, and a moderate outburst from Harry (Hermione made a mental note not to criticise Luna ever again - Harry was scary when you insulted his loved ones), the Golden Trio was at peace.

Harry tossed and turned that night, blissfully confused. If he had known a couple of hours of earlier that he would have kissed Luna Lovegood... the green-eyed boy beamed dreamily in his sleep. The happiness didn't last long, as soon he had a vision of Mr. Weasley being attacked. After the commotion of St. Mungo's and such, Harry was at Grimmauld Place. A good rest, and he woke at Sirius' house, feeling refreshed - he had had a clear, Luna-influenced dream. Suddenly he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Through the blur of his glasses-free vision, he saw a slender form with straggly waist-length blonde hair and silvery-blue eyes. Harry blinked a few times. Surely she wouldn't have been able get past the enchantments.

"Wotcher Harry!" the blonde chirruped. Harry jammed his glasses on in a fit of rage. Tonks' hair was fading back from blonde to her trademark pink, and her eyes were darkening back to their original shade. And right now, the Metamorph was laughing.

"Nymphadora I-don't-know-your-middle-name Tonks!" Harry shrieked, his wand at Tonks' throat. Again, Tonks laughed. Harry would make a good Auror.

"Aww... does wittle Hawwy have a cwush?" Tonks said. Harry's face flushed. Tonks grinned triumphantly, throwing her closed fist in the air in victory. "Aha!" she said.

"I swear to Merlin, whoever told you is going to- Hermione Jean Granger I am going to kill you!" Harry hissed, thinking of the backstabbing brunette at that last sentence.

"Yes Harry, Hermione told me. So? Tell me about her." Tonks proclaimed, wanting information on Harry's dream girl. Not that the Auror was overprotective or anything.

"Who?" Harry asked, playing dumb. Tonks rolled her eyes - he knew who, that dolt.

"Luna, doy! Who's this mysterious girl who has you head-over-feet?" she asked.

"She doesn't have me head-over-feet! Luna's a great friend, but I'm not crushing on her." Harry stated. But Tonks knew better - Auror training had served her well.

"Harry, I won't tease you. You obviously are crushing on her, so tell me." she said.

Harry sighed contentedly - he thought of the love of his life, and how much he loved her. Her dreamy personality, her great figure, shimmering hair, perfect eyes...

"Tonks... she's wonderful. Calm, kind, pretty, and just plain amazing." he sighed. Tonks tapped her foot.

"And I wasn't pretty when I was imitating Luna's looks?" she queried playfully.

"Sod off." Harry growled back. "Besides, you got her physical description from Hermione, and you wouldn't really have a Luna-ness anyway." he finished. Tonks Apparated. When she returned, she had a Pensieve with her. Unfortunately she lost her balance right after and collided knee-first into it. She screamed in pain. Damn clumsiness she thought. Harry looked concerned, but Tonks reassured him.

"I put a Silencio on this so it doesn't any noise at all." she said.

"Is that a Pensieve, like in Dumbledore's office?" Harry asked. Tonks beamed.

"I'm going to put my wand to your head, and you'll focus on a memory of Luna, OK?"

"All right." Harry agreed. Tonks did her spells, the duo went into the memory, and returned with Harry in a daze, and Tonks grinning - the Gryffindor was clearly in love.

"Harry, I... didn't realise. Luna's gorgeous." Tonks said. She wasn't lying - the fourth-year definitely had her looks, and the Auror saw why Harry loved her. "And obviously very kind and loving." she trailed.

"That's just a memory, Tonks. Wait until you meet her in person. I hate it how Ron and Hermione negatively look at Luna. She's so empathetic and can really cheer me up. There's not really any way to describe her. Unique angel might do the trick though."

Harry blushed at the end of this speech. Tonks chuckled.

"I guess you're smitten then." she said turning her hair blue and putting bronze streaks in. Harry gave her a smile for her symbolism. Tonks winked at him.

"Who nicked the Pensieve?" a male voice called. Harry paled - Sirius.

"Buggering hell." he cursed. Tonks snickered, turning her hair back to pink.

"Don't worry, Harry. I've got your back." she said. Sirius stormed in.

"Hello Harry. And dear cousin Dora. Dear sweet Nymphie, did you steal the Pensieve?" he asked, his eyes landing on the rune-carved stone basin. Sirius suddenly had Tonks' wand at his throat.

"Don't call me Dora or Nymphie EVER again!" she shrieked. Harry laughed.

"At least you're the one doing the violence now Tonks." he proclaimed.

"Very true, Mr. Potter."

"What's this about Harry being violent?" Sirius queried in a series of gasps.

"Mr. Potter had his wand at my throat earlier." Tonks said, letting her cousin go.

"And why was that?" Sirius asked. Harry buried his head in his hands.

"Aha!" Sirius had clicked about the situation. "Did Tonks find something she's not supposed to, Harry?" he pondered, putting a paternal arm around his godson.

Harry groaned and growled, throwing both Sirius and Tonks dirty looks.

"Is there a girl involved?" Sirius snickered. Harry's nostrils flared.

"What's going on?" another voice asked. Remus Lupin walked in.

"Perfect timing, Marvin Gaye." Tonks laughed. Remus looked confused. Harry moaned exasperatedly. Remus was the worst person to have around right now.

"Moony my old friend, I do believe we owe it to Prongs to talk to his son when said son has his hormones raging." Sirius chuckled. Remus clicked, grinning a little.

"I do believe so. So Harry, who has your head in a whirl?" the werewolf asked.

"It's not... what was her name - Cho?" Sirius pondered. Harry looked mutinous.

"If you thought I'd ever date that again, you're mistaken." he seethed. "She's a whiny emotional mess. And she has no looks whatsoever." he finished. Tonks snorted.

"Good grief." she said. "No, Harry doesn't like Cho anymore. He's become amoured with the lovely Ravenclaw Luna Lovegood now." she smiled cheekily, ignoring Harry's blushing face. It dawned on Remus who Tonks was referring to.

"Hang on. A year below you, waist length blonde hair, big blue eyes, wand tucked behind her ear?" the werewolf pondered, smirking a little - Luna's eccentricity with her wand had stuck in his mind whenever he thought about teaching the 2nd-years.

"That's Luna all right." replied Harry, positively beaming now - Remus had brought up one of Luna's loveable quirks. Remus smiled - he'd never have guessed.

"Wow Harry. I didn't know you liked Luna. That comes as a surprise." he said.

"Like isn't the word. I love her, Remus. You can't not. Her graceful and caring personality, her unmatched wisdom, however quirky it may seem at first, and she's completely selfless - there's not a single judgmental bone in her." Harry finished off this monologue by heating up very fiercely - the blush spread down to his neck.

"Aww." Tonks said, ruffling Harry's hair. Hermione suddenly walked into the room.

"Hey you four." she smiled. Harry's eyes burned into her. Hermione was in trouble.

"Harry, I-" she started, but instead gulped on her words. Tonks came to the rescue.

"I think Harry's rage would be more directed at me, Hermione, since I teased him."

"How did you tease him?" Remus queried. Despite Harry's cold look Tonks told him.

"I might have... um, sort of... morphed my figure, eyes and hair to look like Luna when Harry woke up." she said, laughing. Sirius and Remus clicked what the result had been, and Sirius especially fought the urge to laugh. Hermione's mouth twitched.

"It's really my fault, since I told Tonks about Harry's feelings for Luna." Hermione said. She remembered the mental note, and didn't say anything judgmental.

"Well Nymphadora-" Harry was stopped momentarily by an angry glance from the aforementioned Nymphadora Tonks, but ploughed on. "-, at least Hermione spared me some dignity and didn't tell you that Luna was my first ki- oh damn it to buggery!" Harry exclaimed. Remus', Sirius' and Tonks' eyes popped. Remus spoke first.

"Did you mean it Harry? Was Luna your first kiss?" he asked. Harry nodded.

"She was. And - Hermione and Tonks, you may want to cover your ears for this - she's incredible. I know I can't compare her to anyone else, but I felt this deep emotional surge flowing between us. Plus, the feeling of her lips on mine... "

"OK, we get it!" Hermione interrupted. Harry threw her a look.

"Wow, Moony. Prongs had his flower, and now Harry has his moon." Sirius chuckled.

"Padfoot, as far as we know, Harry and Luna are friends right now. Have you crossed the line yet, Harry?" Remus asked sensitively.

"No. Luna's still a friend. Seeing as the kiss was on the last day before break, it left things in a whirlwind. But I am going to ask her out." Harry beamed. Sirius coughed.

"Very well my junior Marauder, is Luna good-looking enough?" he asked. He wanted an opinion that wasn't Harry's, though. Tonks, of all people, gave it to him.

"Harry showed me a memory of Luna in the Pensieve, Sirius. And believe me when I say, she's quite the catch." she smirked, but her eyes showed true sincerity.

"Oomph!" she suddenly exclaimed, slamming into the Pensieve rim as she lost her balance.

"Tonks!" Remus gasped as she fell down. Harry and Hermione looked shocked. Sirius got to work casting healing spells. Tonks' eyes landed on Remus, pleading.

"Help me up Remus, please?" she whined. Remus steadied her and she got up. Harry gave Tonks a look. She replied with another one which clearly said none of your business.

"Now all of you get out so I can think of a good letter to send to Luna." Harry hissed.

"Aww, Harry and Luna sitting in a tree..." Tonks hummed, turning her hair blue and bronze. Hermione laughed. Harry glared at them all. The last one to leave was Tonks.

"Harry?" she asked.

"Mhm?" he replied, looking at her with a kind expression.

"I hope it goes well for you and Luna. She really seems like an angel." Tonks said.

"She is." Harry breathed dreamily. "Incidentally, I'm not the only one with a moon-connected love, am I?" he finished, laughter in his eyes.

"What do you mean, Potter?" Tonks demanded, putting on her 'fierce Auror' voice.

"You like Remus." Harry said - it wasn't a question. Tonks blushed.

"If you tell anyone, I will end you." she growled. Harry laughed. After the students went back to Hogwarts, Sirius and Tonks were sitting in the kitchen drinking some tea while Remus was on an Order mission - nothing too risky, though.

"So cousin, what's going on in your life?" Sirius pondered. "Anything interesting?"

"Has anyone said anything to you?" Tonks asked neutrally. Sirius laughed.

"A certain Harry James Potter might have mentioned your crush on Moony."

"Oooohhh... I have half a mind to hex him to Merlin-knows-what!" Tonks muttered.

"Easy, easy. You don't want him injured so badly so he can never kiss his lovely sweetheart Luna again, do you?" Sirius asked, well... seriously (no pun intended).

"I guess not." Tonks replied - Harry had turned into a quasi-younger brother for her.

"Incidentally, I'm wondering what Harry sees in her." Sirius pondered thoughtfully.

"Well Harry told us what her personality's like." Tonks said. Sirius nodded.

"I never suspected him to go for the dreamy quirky type though." he replied.

"It came as a shock to me when Harry showed me that memory too." Tonks said.

"But honestly Sirius, I must say in truth, Luna is quite cute." she finished.

"I just wanted to see whether Harry had inherited the Marauder traits of picking up good girls." Sirius proclaimed. Tonks rolled her eyes - her cousin was so typical.

"Believe me Sirius, Luna is an angel inside and out. She'll do Harry good. Don't tell Harry I did this, but I stored the memory he showed me." she said, picking out the memory and pouring it into the Pensieve. Sirius raised his eyebrows. Tonks smiled. After Sirius had seen the memory, he emerged with a rather crafty smile.

"You're right, Tonks. Harry's got himself one glorious girl there. It seems like she shimmers with beauty, and he clearly likes her emotionally as well." he beamed.

"They are fabulous together, aren't they?" Tonks grinned - she knew she'd like Luna in person when she met the Ravenclaw. Sirius lifted his teacup in a quick toast.

"To Harry and Luna, may they cross the friend line and live happily!" he announced. Tonks echoed him and drank her tea, agreeing with his sentiment.

"And to Moony and Dora, may you two produce mild-mannered Metamorphagi!" This second toast, however, earned Sirius a punishment as he was doused in teabags. Tonks looked smug, having magicked the teabags to hurl themselves at her cousin.

AN: I think this turned out well. This was the result of two ideas coming together. Being a Harry/Luna fanatic, I've always wondered what would have happened if the mistletoe scene had gone a different way. That was the first inspiration. The second inspiration was 'what if Sirius had managed to find out about Remus and Tonks?'. Throw those two thoughts in with our favourite ex-convict, werewolf and Metamorphagus finding out about a Haruna romance and this story was born! I loved writing the last scene with Sirius and Tonks talking over tea. You don't see much fanfic with their cousinly bonding. As for the moments with Tonks' clumsiness... I draw from personal experience, because I could probably beat her in terms of unsteadiness. I lose my balance so often it's unthinkable.