Keeping love locked up is hopeless.
Fuji and Eiji were doing their homework together at Fuji's house. They had an assignment for their English class. Of course Eiji couldn't sit still; he was like his usual hyper-self. After doing their homework Eiji left because he knew Fuji's dinner was almost ready. Just a few minutes after Eiji had left Fuji had dinner with his mother and sister, Yuuta was still at his school and their father was on a business trip. After a while Fuji went to his room to sleep because he didn't feel so good.
I was walking to my house, actually more like bouncing. When I got at the corner where we usually go to the park, I noticed that I wasn't carrying my book with me. I was thinking about going home or going back to get my book from Fuji's house. I chose the last option. When I got at Fuji's house I rang the doorbell and Fuji's mother opened the door.
"O hello Eiji," said Fuji's mother.
"Hello, I forgot my book in Fuji's room," I answered.
"You can just go and get it out of Fuji's room, but maybe he is asleep so be a little quiet please."
"Why is Fuji asleep?"
"He didn't feel so great."
"I hope he'll be okay."
"Yes, you don't need to worry, he'll be just fine."
"Okay, I'll go get my book now."
Once I got in Fuji's room I saw that Fuji was indeed sleeping. I went a little closer and almost tripped over my own book that I forgot. When I saw Fuji's face I thought that Fuji was so cute. I shouldn't think about that.
I covered my feelings for Fuji up for so long. So I knew I would probably never tell him how I feel. I wouldn't tell him because I didn't want to lose him, he was my best friend. But when I saw Fuji like this the only thing I wanted to do was to kiss him. I really couldn't control my feelings right then it's like they were overflowing. Then I kissed Fuji because I really couldn't control my feelings.
'I really love you Fuji and I really hope that you love me back.'
After giving Fuji one last look I went on my way home with my book in my hand.
I woke up. After getting out of my bed I went to my bathroom and took a quick shower. In the shower I was thinking about a dream I had last night, a dream about Eiji kissing me.
Why do I dream about Eiji? Do I like him more than a friend? Do I love him? I don't know. Of course I like Eiji who wouldn't. He is super cute, always happy and I smile every time when I see him.
While thinking about all of this I took my clothes and started dressing myself.
"Fuji, it's almost time to get to school!"
"Hai, nee-san. I'll just take a quick breakfast."
After arriving at school I said: "Arigatou nee-san for bringing me to school." I got out of the car and saw Eiji approaching me.
How can it be that I can talk to him normally? So it really was a dream? I really am happy when I see him.
"Fujiko, are you okay?"
"Hai, why do you ask Eiji?"
"You were spacing out, nya. Let's go to class."
The classes went by very fast. Like usually, I wasn't really paying attention to what the teachers were saying. I was looking out the window and occasionally looking at Eiji. Luckily he didn't notice that I was looking.
I'm a tensai for crying out loud! But I can't figure out if I love Eiji or not.
And then the bell went.
"Let's go Fujiko or we'll be late and then we'll have to run laps. I really don't want to run laps."
"Okay, Eiji. Maybe I can tease someone."
"You're scary Fujiko."
And then we went to tennis practice.
"Today we are going to train doubles matches,-" said Tezuka. "The pairings are Fuji and Takashi, Kikumaru and Oishi, Momoshiro and Echizen, Inui and Kaidoh. I'll just watch."
The match between the golden pair and Momo and Ryoma ended really quick with 6-0 for the golden pair. After a while our match also ended with 6-4 for Takashi and me. As I was taking a nip of my water I saw Tezuka approaching me.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes why do you ask, Tezuka?"
"You aren't acting like yourself today, does it have something to do with Kikumaru?"
"Huh, why do you think it has anything to do with Eiji?" When I heard his question I was a little shocked and opened my eyes, but I closed them really fast. So I didn't think Tezuka saw it.
"You're constantly looking at him."
"I do? Do you ask me this because you are jealous, Tezuka?"
"Fuji!" I laughed at his sudden reaction.
"Tezuka, you really are fun to tease."
Once I heard the laugh of Fuji, I turned around.
"What's wrong, Eiji?" asked Oishi.
"Huh, nothing. Why do you ask?"
"You look a little mad and hurt Eiji. It's probably because Fuji is laughing with someone else."
"What are you talking about, nya?"
"Eiji, I am your doubles partner. I already know for ages that you are in love with Fuji."
"You do? Is it that visible?"
"Yes. Why don't you just confess to him?"
"I don't want to lose our friendship. But lately I can't stop thinking about him, it's like my love for him can't stay hidden much longer. It wants to come out."
"Well it's your choice, but do know that you can trust me. And I will always stay by your side as your friend."
Then Eiji gave Oishi a beautiful smile. Just at the same moment Fuji looked their way and felt a little hurt.
In the meantime Tezuka yelled that it was the end of practise: "Minna, go change."
"Hai, buchou!" everybody yelled at the same time, except Fuji who was in his own thoughts.
After changing, everybody left; Momo and Ryoma went to eat some hamburgers, Kaidoh to do some more training and Inui to make some juices. Eiji went with Oishi to do some homework that Eiji didn't get. Even though Oishi wasn't in the same class as Eiji he would still help him. Fuji and Tezuka were walking home in silence.
Tezuka and me were walking in silence to our houses. I like this about Tezuka. But I also like walking with Eiji who is not quiet. Why am I thinking about Eiji again? Maybe I do love him?
"Fuji? Fuji? Fuji!"
"Huh, what's the matter Tezuka?"
"What are you thinking about so that you don't hear me? I called your name like three times."
"Gomen, Tezuka. I'm not thinking about anything really."
"Yes, you are. You don't have to lie to me. You were probably thinking about Eiji."
"Why would I be thinking about Eiji?"
"Because you love him, Fuji. So why don't you confess to him?"
"But I don't love Eiji," I said with my eyes wide open now and full with surprise.
"Yes, you do. I can see it in your eyes."
"I do? You can? Of course you can, you always could see everything in my eyes. So I really love him?"
"Yes you do."
"Tezuka, I don't know if I love Eiji but I had a dream about him. I dreamt that he kissed me on the lips. Why do I dream about Eiji."
"Because you love him. But I won't tell him, if you don't want me to."
"I'll have to think about it, but arigatou, Tezuka, you really helped me like you always do." After saying this I opened my door and walked inside my house.
"Nya, Oishi I don't want to study anymore."
"But do you get it now Eiji?"
"Fine, we'll leave it at that today."
"You said I could trust you?"
"Of course you can Eiji."
"Then would you please listen to what I have to say?"
"Of course I will Eiji. I'll always listen to what you have to say."
"Arigatou. You know I went home with Fuji yesterday right?"
"Yes I know. Why?"
"We went to do our homework. On the way home after we finished our homework, I realised I forgot my book at Fuji's house. I turned around to go and get it. Fujiko's mother opened the door after I rang the bell and she let me in. She said that Fuji was sleeping because he didn't feel so great, but that I could go and get my book out of Fuji's room, if I was quiet. I went to his room and he was sleeping so cute. So I couldn't resist it anymore and I kissed him on his lips. After that I said goodbye to his mother and went home." I said hesitantly while looking at Oishi's eyes seeing if there was something like surprise or shock or anything really.
"Y… You kissed him?"
"Yes, I did."
"Does Fuji know?"
"Of course not, it was not like he was awake. I also didn't tell him or his mother. Please don't tell this to Fuji?"
"No I won't, you can trust me."
"Arigatou Oishi, you really are a good friend." I hugged Oishi before saying that I was going to leave before it got dark. "I'll see you tomorrow at school."
I was in my room and had just ended my homework before I went to lie on my bed.
Why do I keep thinking about Eiji? I like Eiji as a friend but that just normal because we are best friends. Even if I do love him there's no way that he loves me. If he is gay he will probably like Oishi. That's probably why he smiled so sweet at Oishi. If I think about it now, I don't like the idea of Eiji loving Oishi. Actually, I don't like Eiji being in love with anybody. Why is that? Why does Tezuka say that he is sure that I am in love with Eiji. Maybe I really love Eiji, subconsciously.
Then I fell asleep with my clothes still on and my thoughts were still with Eiji.
I was in my room thinking about Fuji while looking out of my window like Fuji was always doing in school.
Fuji, why did I need to fall in love with you? I tried for so long to keep it a secret and now Oishi knows. Why was I so stupid to kiss you? But I liked it, the feeling of my lips on yours. I like the thought of us a couple, doing stuff together and kissing. Of course the kissing. I can't keep it a secret anymore. Fine I'll tell you how I feel tomorrow after school. Just you and me together. Okay, now I'll sleep so that I have enough nerve to tell you tomorrow that I love you.
Then I fell asleep with my thoughts still with Fuji and with tomorrow's confession.
The next morning
When I woke up I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday.
Oh yes I fell asleep while thinking of Eiji. And I didn't like the idea of Eiji being in love with someone else. I should get dressed and ready for school before nee-san yells again, like she always does.
"Syusuke? Are you awake?" asked my mother who was standing next to my door.
"Yes, mother. I'm even dressed why do you ask?"
"I have something to ask you."
"Okay, what is it?"
"Are you and Eiji together?"
"What do you mean?"
"I heard you say 'Mmmm… Eiji' in your sleep."
"I said that?"
"Yes, I just wanted to make sure you were together or not. And Yumiko will bring you to school in five minutes."
"Arigatou, mother. I'm not together with Eiji by the way."
When my mother left I was thinking about what she said.
So I really love Eiji. Now that I really thought about it, it's only naturally that I am. I've always been in love with him. I just pushed it away as admiration. I love Eiji and I don't want to hide it anymore, now that I am aware of my love. So I should tell him after school.
I came to school and saw Eiji talking to Oishi and Tezuka. When Eiji saw me, he waved and then turned around to get in the school building. Tezuka was surprised and Oishi just a little. I wondered why that was. I got with Tezuka and Oishi and said hello and then I went after Eiji.
When I saw Fuji approaching us when he arrived at school I panicked and ran away.
What if Fuji doesn't love me? What if he hates after I confess? I don't think I could live with Fuji hating me.
"Eiji? Eiji," asked Fuji.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No, why would I be, nya?"
"Because you ran away when I arrived at school."
"No, there's nothing, I just forgot something."
"Ah, okay then."
"Can we go to the park after school?"
The teacher came inside and ordered everyone to sit down.
While I was looking outside I was thinking about my love for Eiji.: IfwegototheparklatershouldItellhimhowIfeel?IshegoingtohatemeifItellhim?No,hewon'tit'sEiji.
After a while school ended but tennis practise started. Tennis practise was also over before we knew it. I got mad every time someone was teasing, laughing and talking with Eiji. I never knew I was the jealous type. Then Eiji came towards me and said we should go and change so we could go to the park. On the way to the park I noticed that Eiji wasn't his usual self. Why would that be? Maybe he knows that I love him and wants to say that he doesn't love me back? I should just wait and see.
We got to the park and went to sit on a bench. I was thinking how I would tell Fuji how I feel about him when he asked me if anything was wrong.
"Ne, Fuji? We have something to talk about."
"Okay, what is it?"
"The day before yesterday did you notice something different?"
"Um, no, wait, yes I had a weird dream that night."
"You." Fuji said blushing. I wondered why that was.
"I dreamt that you kissed me."
"You did?" Now I asked blushing.
"It wasn't a dream. It was real. I forgot my book in your room and came back for it. You looked so cute and I couldn't resist you so I kissed you." I said in one breath.
"Eiji? I …"
"No, let me speak. Fuji, I have always loved you. I love you now and probably will forever."
Then I ran away, I didn't want to hear what Fuji was going to say.
Fuji came running after me. He wanted to stop me so he grabbed my arm and then we both fell on the ground, because I lost my balance after Fuji had grabbed me. I tried to get up and to run away again but I was too slow. Fuji grabbed my arm again, turned me around and then suddenly kissed me. I was shocked but kissed him back. Our kiss ended, too quick for me. I longed for more until I heard the words Fuji said to me.
"I love you too, Eiji."
"Yes, I do."
"I don't know. Love is something special and it happens in the strangest ways you would imagine. I figured out that I have always loved you."
"Yes love is something strange, I think, nya."
Then we kissed again until we needed to breath.
"I love you so much Fuji."
"I love you too, Eiji."
'MysmilewidenseverytimeIhearthosewords.' I thought to myself.
"We really need to go home," Fuji said.
"I don't want to." I pouted.
"Come on, Eiji," Fuji said while taking my hand in his.
We left the park and went home walking hand in hand.