Ranma/ Guilty Gear X
'To Start a Circle'

In an office, far above most of the Tokyo skyline. A man overlooked the day lit metropolis, while smoking a Virginia Slims cigerette (because, most Japanese men haven't realized that those particular cigerettes were not made for men, but we won't tell them that for fear they may take it as an affront to their manhood). His left hand combed through his hair with fingernails painted ebony black.

Which did not match his baby blue dress shirt under a tangerine business suit.

"At least I'm not wearing pink," the man, not having any signifigance to the main story, commented with some resigned relief. [Tee hee, inside joke ^_^]

In an office, not actually far above the Tokyo skyline... in fact, it wasn't even above ground, or an office, does it even have relevance to the story?

Yes, yes it does, in fact. So, in a building that was not an office, about street level...

Oh, I'm being told it's underground.

In an office...

A Laboratory?

In a laboratory below the Tokyo...

Am I writing this, or you?

In a laboratory, far below Tokyo... no, we're NOT doing an Evangelion Xover, didn't you read the top? Sigh, let's just cut to the contrived, general direction-outlining plot device, please?

"This is magic? REAL magic?" a man in his late thirties asked with slight awe in his voice.

"Yes, distilled, and imported from a virtually unknown location in the Quiangxi Province of China. With this, we now have the means to complete our ultimate weapon. It surprisingly is programmable via binary code for our convenience, meaning we could use this device, known as a com-pu-ter... to give this potent and distilled, yet violatile and unstable unidentifiable energy matrix we have conveniently dubbed 'magic', to empower a great and powerful weapon of mass destruction without taking safety precautions in case things were to go awry and... well this is beginning to sound long winded, do you wish me to continue?"

"Say 'computer' again!"

"Uh, 'com-pu-ter'?"

"Heh, you said it funny!"

"Hmm, I did, didn't I? 'Com-pu-ter', *snicker*, 'com-pu-ter'..."

"Joke's six seconds old now, man."

"So, what's for lunch?"

"Roach coach is here, I think it's Chick-Fil-A"

"Chick-fil-A operates in Japan?" The othe man shrugged

"Dunno, but they were here yesterday, and the day before. Dammit, why do we have to be so secretive? Can we have one other DAMN vender, for crying out loud? Pizza Hut, how about Pizza Hut? Or Subway?"

Anyhow, before the author gets to engrossed in this pointlessness...

No, I'm still going to continue writing this fic...

Axel blinked, and looked at his surroundings, "Eh, we not in Kansas anymore, Luv."

The girl in the pirate suit continued to sob, finding not enough breath to continue incessantly... er, grievously anchor weild... I mean wail... uh, mourning, mourning good for the young lady who's threatening this author with a massive anchor she's hoisting one handedly? Her heart had been shattered into a million pieces to descend upon the flowing breeze of remourse. Johnny was dead. Actually he was more than dead, he was...

"Well, I'll be, we're back in the past..." Axel whispered with a bit of awe.

May's eye twitched, but ignored Axel's insensitive yapping. She yearned for Johnny, with his fall, her heart dropped with him, to be splattered pretty evenly over a good acre or so of...

"Then that means.... I'm home... I'M HOME!!!!"

May let her anchor clutter to the ground. Her life just simply could not continue now, she would be subjected to mediocre half-men, like the suddenly quiet one next to her with the large lump on his head. Her hope of true womanhood thrusted from her, like a teasing man, just hovering before her, telling her how just how much she really wants it, and that she has to beg for it, beg hard and nasty for it like the thirteen year old bitch she was.

"YES JOHNNY, GIVE IT TO ME HARD! DON'T TEASE ME! PLEASE!" May found her self face-to-lap of a young pigtailed boy, who stared down at her incredulously.

"Ah... this sure is ackward..." the boy with the pigtail commented with a bit of a strained voice.

"RANMA! YOU PERVERT! ARE YOU ASKING THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS FOR BLOWJOBS AGAI... anou.. konbonwa," Akane greeted the girl on her knees, just noticing her, "Watashi wa desu ka?"

::::At this point, the author realizes many of you are quite lost and confused, and has graciously allowed you the time to catch up [Plays some muzak while he politely waits]::::

"Anou... o-genki desu?" Akane asked with concern, as the other girl stared blankly at her, Akane suddenly came to realization, and slapped her forehead, "Oh, I'm sorry! Let's pretend we're Japanese Canadians, so that you can understand us better!"

"Why not Japanese Americans?" Ranma asked, curiously.

"DAMU YOO RANMA, BEEKASU O-FU YUU, EI HABU SEEN HERU!" Ranma idly side-stepped Ryoga's admittadly clumsy attempt, and punted him away so that he could be used later in case the author decides to give him a signifigant role.

"Ryoga's back from the U.S. it looks like. Damn American public schools..."

"Are you okay?" Akane asked, looking at the little girl with concern.

May sniffled, "Johnny's dead!"

Ranma and Akane looked at each other, then looked at the Axel Rose costume player.

"I AM *NOT* AXEL ROSE!!!" Axel Lowe screamed.

Hmm? Did I hit a nerve? *Snicker*

"Um, who's Johnny?" Akane asked, being the sensitive sort she is by twisting the knife in the fresh wound where the gouged flesh of where her heart used to be, by asking about the young girl's apparently dead crush [heh, get it? 'Crush'?], and pulling out a notebook and pen to document the reply.

The budding teenager, much to Ranma sudden surprise, as he suddenly discovered his fetish for pedophilia, looked up to Akane with tear glistened eyes.




"DAMN IT! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!" Ranma screeched.

You sound like a girl, now get over it.

"Sumimasen, anouuuuu, Johnny?" Akane asked. Ranma threw Akane a dry look.

"You're getting gratuitous again, Akane, and you've said 'anou' three times now. You're being rather limited."

"Okay, okay, I was just joking, sheesh! Who's Johnny?"


Ranma and Akane blinked. "Heh, I have the same feeling every day," Ranma responded sympathetically, "Some days I think that if there really is one, why did he put me in this Hell?"

"Eh, mate's not really God..." the Billy Kane wanna-be supplied, "JUST SHUT UP, SHUT---UP! CAN'T YOU FUCKING BE BLOODY SERIOUS FOR ONCE?"

*Sigh*, you guys are no fun.

"Oh yeah? That's what the other girls call him!" May turned on Axel with a stern face, "He brings some of the other girls into his room to pray with him, and they're always screaming 'Oh God, oh God'! He's the only one in the room with them, so he's obviously God! Plus, he's always saying he's God's gift to women!" May's eyes became starry, "He's so giving of himself!"

Ranma pointedly coughs into his hand, in order to distract from the subject and hide his internally growing jealously, before turning a scathing glare towards the author, "Uh, anyhow, where did you guys come from? I don't think there are any cosplay conventions in Nerima at the moment. Guns 'n' Roses, right?"

"Don't make me kick your bloody little ass, you prick," Axel growled towards Ranma, "Anyhow, 'she's' from the future. I'm from about this time, I guess, when I got stuck in the future by some wicked time warp that hasn't been explained by Sammy as of yet, and now, we're here somehow."

May's eyes lit up at the announcement, "In the past? You mean... we can save Johnny before he falls to his messy yet spectacular death?" May felt the urge to whack the freak in the pink shirt that was creeping up slowly behind her, and complied to those urges, for urges are good, and the people said 'Amen'.

The man wearing the baby blue shirt with a tangerine business suit snickered, "Heh, he's wearing pink."

Axel contemplated telling her she had over a hundred and fifty years before the event would happen, "Sure, Luv, knock yourself out!" May began to jump around with glee, while clapping her hands in joy. Ranma gulped, as he watched May's lovely developing mammar...




"Sure you are, now let's hurry up before I miss my hot lesbian sex session with Yuka and Sayuri!"

Ranma gave a deeply blushing Akane a withering glare, "See?" Ranma then turned to the author, "How about you make this a self-insertion, and we can settle this like REAL men?" Ranma is splashed by the ladle woman who's usually watering her walkway.

"WHAT THE...? When the HELL did we come this way?!? I SWORE she lived further down! Hey, by the way, Akane, want me to spontaniously emotionally attach myself to your cold fish of a sister so that we can get on the Nabiki and Ranma relationship archive?"

"Na, that would be extremely blatant and self-promoting." Ranma and Akane pointedly ignore the author, as he accepts cash from NANDR.

"Shame, your sister is pretty hot, too!"

"I'll say," Akane affirmed, wiping a slight bit of drool off the corner of her mouth, "THAT'S IT! THE PERVERT OF AN AUTHOR IS GETTING AN ICE PIC LOBOTOMY WITH A CHAINSAW!!!"

"I'm charging all three of you for those comments," Nabiki's calm voice sounded over the distance.

Both Axel and May stared blankly at the red-head before them. Off to the side, a mirror lay... yeah, that one, the one laying shattered under that heavy ass anchor...