"I don't think that's legal."

"What? Oh. Of course it is."

" No," Lucy stressed, big eyed, "And...Gray, why are you even watching this?"

It took Gray a minute to respond. Probably something about remembering words, "You're watching too."

"Well, yeah, but..." she trailed off, "But at least I'm not sitting down!"

Gray moved over. Lucy sat on reflex.

"Furthermore," she continued, "This...isn't my fault. I was just walking past! And as a teenager, I have a right to be curious."

Gray managed the superhuman feat of tearing his eyes from the screen long enough to glance at her in surprise. "You're curious about that?"

"Um," Lucy licked her lips nervously, and failed to avert her eyes, "Maybe not...that specifically."

Gray made a little noise, and went back to staring at the television. As did Lucy. And they bonded.

"This is really weird."

"Not weird. Kinky."

"No, I mean weird." Lucy repeated, and then pushed a mountain of cushions between them, "I...oh my god, Gray! I can't watch porn with you!"

"Hey, your call."

"No!" Lucy yelled, "I need you to leave so I can watch it by myself!"

As soon as she said this, she looked horribly embarrassed, and was forced to make one of her trademark squeaking noises while she hid behind her hands.

Gray bent around her. "I can't see."

"Oh, god! It's turned us into monsters!"

"Lucy, move."

"No! This ends here and now! I want my innocence back!"

"Would you please move?"

"I feel so dirty!"

Gray abruptly grabbed her by the hips, plopped her down on his lap, and went back to staring resolutely at the screen. Lucy was so stunned she was nearly sucked back into her stupor.

And then she hit him in the chest. "This is even worse."

Gray blinked hazily, "What? Oh. Oh."

They moved quickly apart.

"...you want to watch the cooking channel now?"