Yet another UNIT from CookieLord factories, we're finally starting in on the non-Team Avatar ones! It may be some time before we are able to release another UNIT to the public, due to us all needing to get second jobs to pay for all the cookies (we don't have a problem...), and some of us really do need therapy. We would like to extend our thanks to Caelum Blue Beta Testers, the wonderful facility that tests and develops our UNITs to a much higher quality than we ourselves could ever dream to. We would also like to thank our loyal customers who have stuck with us through our hardships (and sent us cookies!). With that said, please enjoy this new UNIT from CookieLord Factories!
GENERAL IROH UNIT
Copyright Nickelodeon Studies and CookieLord Factories
A User's Guide
Congratulations, lucky customer! You've just purchased your first GENERAL IROH UNIT! If this is your first UNIT, feel free to skip the following section and move on to TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS. However, if you are new to the joys of UNIT ownership, please be sure to take a look, as it may give you important information concerning the basis of UNITs themselves.
Introduction to UNITs
So you've purchased your first UNIT. Congratulations! We hope you will enjoy living with your new housemate for years to come.
Before you read the specifics about your UNIT, we would like to make several facts about them very clear.
Your UNIT is indeed a person, despite your views on cloning, genetic manipulation, artificial intelligence, and any host of other controversial topics. We would like you to keep this in mind while dealing with your UNIT, as they have thoughts, emotions, and dreams just like you. Should you find yourself disagreeing with our claims, please note that mistreatment of your UNIT can and will result in legal action, either on the UNIT's part or ours.
It is likely that your UNIT is underage. Should you yourself be underage, there is no problem with the two of you carrying on a romantic relationship, if you so desire. However, if your UNIT is not of the legal age of consent for your country while you are considered an adult, or vice versa, you or your UNIT may be arrested for statutory rape. We at [CookieLord Factories] cannot be held accountable for any illegal actions committed by a UNIT or the owner of a UNIT.
This manual may not contain all the answers to your questions. If this is the case, please contact a company representative and present your question or issue. We will answer your question to the best of our abilities, and then update all of our manuals so that other buyers in the future will not face the same troubles as you. Sending us cookies might speed up the updating process.
It is possible to return your UNIT within 90 days of receiving it, but to do so you must replace your UNIT and all accessories in the box they were shipped in. If you cannot locate all of the accessories or the box itself, [CookieLord Factories] is unable to reclaim the UNIT and return your money. Well, we suppose we'll reclaim the UNIT anyways. But you won't get your money back. We'll probably have spent it on cookie ingredients by then.
Your UNIT should possess the following traits:
Manufacturing Origin: Royal Caldera City
Length: They don't call him "Dragon of the West" just because he breathes fire…
Nationality: Fire Nation
Bending Abilities: Fire
Preferred Weaponry: none
Your IROH UNIT may be a jolly old man, but he's a dragon in the early morning. To avoid accidentally angering him and getting fireballs shot at your face, try these suggestions at safely waking him up:
Brew some tea and leave it near his box. IROH will exit the box, taste the tea, then immediately throw it out and say that it is no more than "hot leaf juice." Do not use a teabag, or he may shut himself in his box again and refuse to leave, ever. Once he is done with the tea, you are then free to reprogram him as you wish.
Cook some Chinese food and leave it near the box. IROH will smell it and leave the box to eat. You are then free to reprogram him as you wish.
Put on some Chinese music, preferably something you can sing to. IROH will leave his box and begin a performance, albeit not the best. You are then free to reprogram him as you wish.
Uses and Jobs
Guidance Counselor: As seen in an Avatar Short, your IROH UNIT is used to acting as a guidance counselor. Coupled with his great advice and grandfatherliness, IROH will easily help others choose the right path in life. Though he may draw pictures of tea on that notepad instead of notes about your problems, he really is listening, and he'll give you the best advice he can.
Santa: Did you not see him in the season one finale? Have him grow out his beard a little bit more, put on some red clothing and a cap, maybe switch the milk out for tea, and he'll rule the mall come Christmas! While you might need to explain to him what Christmas is, and why Santa's so important, we guarantee he'll be a hit. With his general love of children and helping people, your IROH UNIT will be invited back for years to come!
Tea Shop Owner: He may not initially recall owning the Jasmine Dragon, but show him the rest of season two and he sure will! Owning the Jasmine Dragon was the best time of his life, and he returned to it after the show was over. Help him with finding a building, decorations and down payments on tea, then sit back and watch as his phenomenal tea-making skills earn you more money than you could ever dream!
Musician: IROH is a spectacular tsungi hornist, not to mention a great singer. He'll be happy to perform at a variety of events, or even start up his own Music Night! He'll also be happy to start up his own band, especially with help from a LT. JEE UNIT—and also possibly from a disgruntled ZUKO UNIT.
Martial Arts Instructor: IROH is a skilled martial artist, not even considering his Firebending. He taught ZUKO most of what he knows, and is more than willing to instruct others in the martial arts behind Firebending. You also might want to get him some books (in Chinese) about martial arts in this world, just to broaden his horizons.
UNITs are pre-programmed to be consistent with their personalities and general appearances in the middle of Season Two. This means that their relations with other UNITs, philosophies, and even their treatment of you will vary depending on how much of the series they believe they have experienced. Showing them episodes of the series will "unlock" their memories of what happened, as well as affect their relations with others and their actions.
Relations to Other Units
PRINCE ZUKO: Your IROH UNIT has considered ZUKO to be his own son ever since losing LU TEN. The two are very close, and know they can rely on each other in a pinch. IROH will give ZUKO the best advice he can, and if your IROH UNIT is injured ZUKO will care for him until IROH is back on his feet. While their relationship will be strained during season three characterization, get them to the series finale and they'll be just as close as ever.
TOPH BEI FONG: While these two had little screentime together, they consider each other good friends and will hang out all the time to drink tea and chat. IROH will also give TOPH some great advice whenever she needs it, especially concerning her feelings towards a certain Water Tribe UNIT…
AVATAR AANG: Again, these two didn't really talk much in the series, but by the end of season two AANG asked for advice and IROH gave it. At the end of the entire series, they were comfortable enough to spend time in IROH's tea shop with the other characters. IROH will counsel AANG about any relationship troubles he may have, be it with KATARA or someone else, and is more than happy to show the Avatar a few moves.
FIRE LORD OZAI: This UNIT is your IROH UNIT's younger brother, who usurped IROH as rightful heir to the Fire Lord's throne after the death of IROH's son LU TEN. While IROH doesn't mind the throne-usurping part, he does greatly disapprove of his younger brother's actions as Fire Lord, and as a father. They do not get along in the best of circumstances, and after the season one finale OZAI will attempt to fight an IROH UNIT upon sight. We advise you keep these two apart.
PRINCESS AZULA: IROH's niece, whom he regards as dangerous and unhinged. Like URSA, IROH agrees that AZULA is a monster and needs to be defeated. When an AZULA UNIT attempts to torment a ZUKO UNIT, IROH will intervene on ZUKO's behalf, and will do his best to keep her from harming anyone. However, she is still his niece, and he will be sad for her when she is characterized to the end of the series and goes insane.
LU TEN: IROH's son died well before the start of the series, but that hasn't kept us from making UNITs! IROH loves his son very much, and will be overjoyed to see him. There may be some initial shock and confusion as to why LU TEN is still breathing, but once that's done with these two will be an unstoppable team of tea-loving kookiness! Warning: Nearby ZUKO UNITs may feel left out and may need to be reassured that yes, IROH does still love him.
Your IROH UNIT is quite the maid, and will clean up your home meticulously to keep it nice for when he throws tea parties.
Tea, tea, and more tea are the basis of IROH's diet. Loose leaf only—tea bags are only acceptable in emergencies! Iroh will also eat huge portions of whatever you place before him—although roast duck is a favorite—and will politely refrain from asking for more. If he's eating, you'd best wait until he's done to ask for a favor.
A man needs his rest, and IROH likes to rest a lot. You shouldn't be surprised to find him asleep on the couch, the floor, a bed, wherever.
Your IROH UNIT is a very wise, parental old man—hence his default modes. In Wise mode he will give great advice, greater tea, and the greatest moral guidance you could ask for. He knows more Chinese proverbs than google can give you, and always knows which one is best for the situation at hand. While in Parental mode, he will be a perfect authority figure, and keep you out of trouble so long as you listen to him. Also, during Parental mode he will chaperone you and any other UNITs you may have, so you should keep that in mind before you lock your door—because he can break it down.
Goofy mode activates when you have an AANG UNIT around, characterized to the first season (available only by special order). The two will quickly get over their differences to have fun together, and go off for some supervised chaos. Beware introducing a MONK GYATSO UNIT to an IROH UNIT in this mode; you don't want to know how much therapy everyone at CookieLord Factories needed the first—and last—time someone let them meet.
Protective mode will activate when one of IROH's charges (a ZUKO UNIT, a TEAM AVATAR UNIT, or you) is in danger. IROH will immediately act to keep you safe, no matter the cost to himself. He will also encourage you to learn how to defend yourself, and offer to teach you himself.
IROH's final mode, Badass, is rarely seen in the series. However, if you've seen the series finale, or the remnants of the Fire Nation Capital prison after IROH busted out, you'll have an idea of what he's capable of. While in this mode, IROH will be able to bust through, out of, or into anything. Don't cross a Badass-mode IROH; you'll regret it for the rest of your life. What little amount of time is left in it, anyway.
Problem: My IROH UNIT doesn't want tea, he wants bad Jewish wine! He's talking in a clichéd Yiddish accent, is rude to ZUKO, and he's hitting on all the legal-aged women he sees! What is going on?
Solution: Whoops, we accidentally sent you an Avatar: The Abridged Series IROH UNIT. He loves his wine and women, and thinks his nephew is a whiny little putz. Simply return him in the original packaging and we can send you a proper IROH UNIT. Though, we really don't see why you'd want one…GanXingba is a genius!
Problem: I don't have any tea in my house, and told my IROH UNIT, and he just went insane! Now my house is a mess, and I don't know what I'm gonna tell my parents! Help!
Solution: Don't worry! If you didn't already have tea, there should be tea leaves in the smaller attached box! Um, unless we forgot them…again…
Q: So, my IROH UNIT decided to go out shopping, but he bought a lot of stuff that we really don't need. We started a tea shop, so we have plenty of money, but why does he feel the need to do that?
A: Oh, your IROH UNIT is terrible when it comes to shopping sense. Just limit the amount of money he has available to him, and he'll spend it more wisely.
Q: I know that showing my UNITs the series will make them act different, but will it make them look different too? What I mean is, if I show my IROH UNIT the series part where he gets buff, will he get buff automatically?
A: Watching the series only makes your UNIT remember the series and its events, not change physically. Your IROH UNIT may think he needs to work out by watching the series, but he will by no means change accordingly.
Tea Set (1)
Jar of Tea Leaves (5)
Set of Fire Nation clothing (1)
Set of Earth Kingdom clothing (1)
Picture of Lu Ten (1)
Tsungi Horn (1)
Creepy Monkey Statue with Lots of Rubies (1)
We at [CookieLord Factories] hope you and your UNIT enjoy many years of happiness together, and please urge you to remember the local laws concerning statutory rape. Seriously, he's an old guy, and if we're not drilling that into you the government might try to get the men in the white coats to take us away again! If you or your UNIT should do anything illegal, [CookieLord Factories] is not responsible for legal representation, reimbursement, or paying bail. Though, a donation of cookies may help change our minds.
And there is our latest UNIT, the GENERAL IROH UNIT! We are more than open to long, pointless conversations with our customers, and would love you forever if you're willing to debate culture, worldbuilding, or random topics with us. Please enjoy the latest UNIT!