AN: Here is the second part. I hope you like it… It is not all fluffy remember there are still scars… Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.
They were falling into a routine; wake up, take turns in the bathroom, go to breakfast, go to classes, Blaine would go to Warblers practice while Kurt studied, meet in the cafeteria for dinner, hang out in their room , rinse and repeat. Two weeks the same thing, only broken by the weekend when Kurt would go to his aunts' in Dublin and Blaine would head home to his parents.
Kurt told Blaine that the house in Lima held too many memories, he couldn't bear to stay there anymore. The house was being sold, but Kurt was keeping ownership of his dad's shop, promoting one of the employees to manager.
The changes in Kurt over the last month were great. He was flinching less and smiling more. With each passing day with Kurt, Blaine was falling deeper. Without the hacking cough and hoarse throat, Kurt's voice was sweet and melodious. Blaine tried to convince Kurt to join the Warblers, but Kurt was hesitant.
Blaine was deep in thought as he made his way from rehearsal one Friday night down to dinner, ready to meet Kurt. He loved seeing the changes to Kurt as he seemed to put himself back together. He was still quiet, none of the other students knew all that he had been through. He only really talked to Blaine. But slowly Kurt was emerging out of his broken shell. Blaine sat eating, growing more worried as each moment passed when Kurt didn't appear. Where was he? What could have kept him from meeting Blaine? Was he alright?
His dinner half eaten, he rushed out of the cafeteria and back to the dorms. Blaine hoped that he would find Kurt asleep around a pile of homework, or so consumed by it that he had merely lost track of time. What he found instead stopped Blaine cold in the doorway.
Kurt was tight in the embrace of another boy. This boy was everything Blaine was not, he was tall and athletic. He towered over Kurt, not to mention dwarfing Blaine. He had a goofy smile on his face as he held Kurt close. What pierced Blaine's heart most was the radiant smile plastered on Kurt's face as they hugged. The pair slowly parted when they heard the door open.
Blaine lowered his head, ashamed at the jealousy and self-doubt that clenched his heart. It took all his willpower to speak evenly to Kurt, "You weren't at dinner, I was worried."
Kurt's smile faltered, and Blaine wanted to just run and hide. He thought Kurt had to see all the things he was trying so hard to keep from him. He was sure Kurt would hate him for feeling the way he did. Kurt's brows furrowed in confusion as he kept looking so intensely at Blaine, he was sure he was seeing right into Blaine's soul.
Slowly Kurt opened his mouth and spoke. "I'm sorry, I should have let you know, Finn just surprised me. We've been talking and I lost track of time."
Blaine racked his brains knowing he knew the name Finn. When it hit him, he felt relief and embarrassment in equal measures. Finn, the boy who was almost Kurt's stepbrother. Finn, who had been there for Kurt after his father died. Finn, who was straight. Blaine smiled at the large boy and stepped forward with his hand held out. "Finn, it is so great to meet you. I'm Blaine. Kurt has told me all about you. I am so glad you were there for him when he needed you."
Finn's goofy grin erupted once again as he shook Blaine's outstretched hand. "Same here dude. Kurt can't stop talking about you. And everything you did for him, I can't thank you enough."
"Finn!" Kurt seemed to whine, punching him in the arm in warning.
"What did I say dude?" Finn looked worried. Blaine couldn't help but laugh as he saw what great brothers the two would have been. He barely noticed the exchange of glances between the two boys. "We were going to order a pizza, you in?"
Blaine looked at Kurt, hoping for a clue as to what he should say. He didn't want to take away from the friends catching up, but he could never pass an opportunity to spend time with Kurt. Catching the hopeful look in Kurt's eyes, Blaine readily agreed.
The three boys talked quickly deciding that Finn should spend the night. Blaine called Wes and asked to borrow his air mattress that he used when his older brother was in town. Soon Kurt went to pick up the pizza and Blaine went to fetch the mattress. When he returned it was just him and Finn alone in the room together. After a long silence as Blaine set to work making Finn a bed, Finn spoke, "Listen dude, what you did for Kurt was awesome. I hated seeing what those people did to him. I will admit I have not always been the best when it comes to those things… but Kurt didn't deserve to be treated that way." Blaine could only nod. "And listen, I know just because you are gay doesn't mean anything, and Kurt would kill me if he found out I said anything… but he likes you, and I will not hesitate to kick your ass if you hurt him. I'm not saying you should get together… but if you don't feel the same way… let him down easy."
Blaine was floored by these words, was Finn saying what he thought he was saying. Could Kurt really like him, as in more than a friend? He must have looked a sight, because Finn sounded concerned when he spoke again. "Dude are you okay? Man I hope I didn't just screw this up. I mean I know you have to live together… I just don't want Kurt hurt anymore."
Blaine found his voice, "No, I mean, I'm fine. I just… Kurt likes me?"
"Listen forget I said anything, if Kurt finds out I told he will literally kill me."
Blaine could only nod. Once Kurt returned with the food, they sat around and talked, though Blaine was quiet. He listened to the two talk about their friends and glee club. He laughed along with their stories. He even got Finn to help convince Kurt to join the Warblers. Kurt seemed to relax and be on the verge of giving in when Finn told him everyone would be happy to see him singing again, even if it was for the competition. When Finn said his girlfriend, Rachel, would even be on board, Kurt beamed.
The next morning Blaine woke up earlier than the other two. He quickly got ready to return home, but left a note for Kurt before he left:
Gone home for the weekend. Thank you for including me in your night with Finn it meant a lot. I will see you tomorrow night. XOX
He sped out of the room before he could take the note off Kurt's pillow. The ride home, Blaine thought about what he could do. He still thought Kurt should make the first move, but he was afraid that he never would. He still hadn't come to a decision by the time he pulled into his driveway.
Gwen was sitting at the kitchen table reading over some file or another when Blaine walked in. His worries must have been etched on his face, because she quickly put down the papers and asked what is wrong.
Blaine gathered his thoughts before speaking, "How do you let someone know that you like them… as more than a friend?"
She smiled, "Can't you just tell him?"
"I don't think it is that simple. I mean…" Blaine trailed off, not looking at his mother.
"I'm sure Kurt would understand." She whispered, grabbing his hand.
"How did I know?" She asked, and Blaine nodded. "I see how you look when you talk about him. I watched your feeling grow, he was living in the house after all. I know you are scared, not just of being rejected, that is normal, but of Kurt not returning your feelings. But… I don't think that will be the case."
Blaine nodded, but it wasn't just that. "What if he's not ready? I mean, after all that he's been through…"
"You think after that he doesn't want to be happy? Listen Blaine, why put off something that could make you both extremely happy. Yes, what he went through was horrible and traumatic, and he may never truly be over it. Does that mean he shouldn't keep living his life, he shouldn't find love and happiness along the way? I know you are scared, but I think you owe it to both of you to at least try. Just think about it." She patted his hand.
All weekend Blaine thought about all the feelings he tried to keep from himself and Kurt. He thought about how his heart beat faster when Kurt was around. How he would do anything to make Kurt smile. But most of all he thought about how much he loved Kurt. Yes, it was love, he had never felt so completely about another person. He decided that even if Kurt never wanted to be with him, he would always be there for Kurt. Because sometimes love, is putting the other person's happiness before yours. So he would tell Kurt how he felt, and if Kurt wasn't ready, if he didn't really feel the same, Blaine would just be there for him.
Sunday night, Blaine paced his dorm room, waiting for Kurt to return. He still didn't know what he would say, his thoughts were in a jumble, but he had to tell him. Blaine jumped when he heard the door open, he spun around to find Kurt standing in the doorway, his cheeks flushed from the cold outside.
"Hey Blaine." He said smiling.
"Hi… can we talk?" Blaine asked twisting his hands together. He saw a flash of panic cross Kurt's face before he steadied it and nodded. Blaine indicated he should sit, and Blaine sat beside him on Kurt's bed. He tried to look Kurt in his eyes, but couldn't meet them so he settled for talking to Kurt's cute little nose.
"Are you happy?" He asked… not sure where the question came from.
Kurt smiled, giving Blaine the strength to meet his eyes, "Happier. I mean, I still miss my dad, and I miss seeing my other friends every day. But I think I want to join the Warblers and sing again. And I have Ann and Mia… and I have you."
"You do, you know?" Blaine said, not tearing his gaze away.
"Have me." But Blaine continued before Kurt could speak. "Listen Kurt… I care about you a lot and...I mean as more than just a friend. But… if that is all you want then I will take it. You are so strong and amazing. You move me, Kurt. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, and nothing would make me happier than if we could be together. But I understand if you are not ready for that. And I will be here until you are… even if you decide you never…"
Blaine was cut off, not by words but by a searing kiss. His heart leapt as he felt Kurt's lips pressed firmly to his slowly moving against, and then when Blaine's brain caught up, with his own. The kiss was all too brief for Blaine's liking, but he pulled back with a smile on his face and looked at Kurt.
Blaine's smile faltered when he saw tears in Kurt's eyes, just as he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, Kurt said, "Thank you. I really like you Blaine but I don't know if I am ready for a relationship," Blaine's heart fell, he felt sick to his stomach. "Some days I still find it hard to be in a group of people, but you always make it better. I may not be ready for a relationship, but I want to try. I want to be with you Blaine, but I can't promise it will be perfect, because I am still… so messed up inside."
The words fell from Blaine's lips before he could stop himself. "Kurt, let me help… I want to help fix you. I just want to be with you and love you and… I want to make you smile every day. Can we try?"
It was Blaine's turn to cry as Kurt nodded and slowly leaned in for another kiss.
Things weren't perfect, there were problems. Kurt was still jumpy, and at times shied away from Blaine's touch. He still had bad dreams and wouldn't allow Blaine to comfort him in any way but with words. Blaine longed to hold Kurt, to make him feel safe, but Kurt pushed him away.
This isn't to say that there wasn't good things in their relationship. They still talked and laughed and enjoyed spending time together. Kurt joined Blaine in the Warblers, slowly making new friends. They made time to spend together on the weekends, sometime hanging out with Kurt's friends from Lima. There was a lot of good mixed in with the hard.
Blaine just tried to be there for Kurt, he tried to understand all that he had been through. He never let his frustrations show, but was glad to have his mom to talk to when things became overwhelming. For three months, their relationship kept at this pace, not moving forward, but not diminishing. They held hands at times, and shared occasional kisses. It was all fairly chaste which Blaine was fine with. He was allowed to love Kurt, though he never said those words aloud, afraid it would be too much.
One day though things changed, it was a Friday and like usual they were spending the night in the dorm before returning home the next day. Nothing was out of the ordinary, they were sitting on Kurt's bed talking about movies to watch, when Blaine went to grab Kurt's hand. Startled he jumped off the bed, nearly sending Blaine's laptop crashing to the floor.
"What… what did I do?" Blaine asked feeling guilty.
"Sorry… I just wasn't expecting… God you must hate me." Kurt said, wrapping his arms around himself. Blaine hated to see him this way, scared and closed off.
"Kurt, I could never hate you… I love you." Blaine said, not thinking about the words coming out of his mouth.
The effect was instantaneous, Kurt backed further away against the wall. He put his hands up as if trying to defend himself and began muttering as tears rolled down his cheeks, "No, no, no, no, no, please no."
Blaine's heart broke hearing and seeing Kurt's reaction. It was one thing if Kurt wasn't ready to say it back, but to have his love so thoroughly rejected was too much.
"What is so wrong with me loving you?" Blaine almost begged for an answer.
"You'll leave, they all leave… I can't let you love me… I can't let myself love you… you'll leave… you'll die. I couldn't handle that. Please… don't… you can't… I can't." Kurt rambled through his tears, collapsing to the ground.
Blaine finally understood. He felt stupid not figuring it out before. Of course, Kurt had lost so much. The only people who had truly loved him before were both dead, taken away far too soon. Even his friends who cared for him, were now far away. It wasn't just the physical and emotional scars from the abuse they needed to deal with, they needed to heal the emotional scars of losing both of his parents.
Blaine cautiously approached Kurt, pulling him gently into his arms. "Oh, Kurt, I am not going anywhere. I love you. Please let me love you." He whispered into Kurt's ear.
"How do you know you won't leave too?" Kurt murmured his head resting on Blaine's chest.
"I don't know for sure, but I can promise you I will never leave willingly. This is real to me and I will do everything in my power to be here for you. I just don't know what else to do to make you see that." Blaine said gently stroking his hair.
"I'm scared, Blaine. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do. I feel so much, so much for you, but I can't lose you." Kurt sobbed.
Blaine's heart broke again as he held on to Kurt. "I know you're scared, it scares me too sometimes. But Kurt I would rather love you with all I have even with the possibility of losing you, than push you away and never have you at all. I love you, Kurt. I love you." Blaine was sobbing now.
"I can't lose you. I can't you mean so much to me…" Kurt cried against Blaine's chest, clutching him closer. "I… I love you Blaine. I love you… I'm so scared but I love you."
They sat in their dorm room floor holding each other and crying, but finally letting themselves feel the love between them completely.
Things got better, they held hands more, shared more than just the occasional kiss, Kurt didn't shy away from Blaine's touches. Kurt laughed more, in a group and he seemed to be healing. There were still rough times, times when tears were shed or angry words thrown around, but now they could hold each other and kiss the anger away. Things weren't perfect, but what relationship was.
Kurt was even making friends in the Warblers, slowly he was opening himself to their friendship. No one pushed him for information, and he didn't give any up. He just let their friendship build on the here and now. As the end of the school year approached, Kurt seemed like almost a different person. Blaine looked at him and could barely see the shattered boy he found in the woods all those months ago. He almost could forget.
As finals approached, Blaine was getting more and more stressed. Normally he would distance himself and find solitude in his woods, but he couldn't bring himself to stay away from Kurt. The Friday before finals, the pressure got too much for Blaine. He was on edge all day, primed to explode. He was sitting at his desk studying when Kurt came in the room singing. Any other day, this sight would have sent Blaine into euphoria, seeing his boyfriend, the love of his life, so happy and free. Today was not that day though. His head ached and he had names and dates to memorize for history. He just snapped.
"Would you shut up?" He yelled.
Kurt froze, the color drained from his face, leaving him looking sick. Blaine didn't look up as Kurt stammered, "I…I'm sorry."
Blaine in his temper, stood and began crossing the room to the door. He only paused when he heard Kurt's broken whisper, "Where are you going?"
"Away… I just need to go away for a bit." Blaine said harshly. He hated how he was being, how hard he was. He just needed to get away from it all, to get rid of his anger.
"Please don't leave me…" Blaine heard the tears in Kurt's voice, he knew they were cascading down his porcelain cheeks. He turned to find Kurt crumpled on the ground and all his anger vanished, replace by a horrible pressing guilt. "Don't leave mad at me…I can't… I can't"
Blaine's voice was softer as he cautiously approached Kurt. "You can't what?"
"I can't have you leave mad, I couldn't deal if something happened to you to and… my dad…" Kurt trailed off.
Blaine grabbed Kurt gently in a hug, cradling him as he tried to calm his tears. It had been a month since Kurt had had a break down and now it was all Blaine's fault. "I wasn't really mad at you, I'm just stressed. When I get like this, I just go to the woods and think. I'm sorry I yelled at you. Now, please explain what it wrong."
Kurt stammered out the only part of his tragic story he had told no one. He told Blaine about the last real conversation he had with his dad, how they fought. "The last words my dad said to me were, 'I'm disappointed in you Kurt'. And I never got to apologize not really, not where I knew he really heard."
"No," Blaine said forcefully, lifting Kurt chin so their eyes met, "the last thing your dad said to you was that he loved you… you told me yourself. And if it makes you feel better, if it helps you, I will never leave mad, we will resolve any fight we may have before we separate even for a minute. I love you, and I don't want to see you in hurting."
Kurt nodded and a small smile played on his lips, "I love you too. Thank you for understanding."
They grew, they became stronger together. Blaine shared with Kurt about his bullies, the scars he had finally shed. Kurt became the confident young man he always tried to appear to be. They loved, and let themselves be loved.
Blaine never went back to those woods, he didn't need to. Years later when he recounted to their children the story of how they met, Blaine told them, "I think I always went into those woods looking for something, once I found your dad I didn't need to go back again."
They both ran into those woods to get away, to hide, but they came out of the woods, with more than they could imagine.
AN2: I think we can probably agree that this is now complete. Let me know what you thought. And Thanks again for reading. And thanks for all the great reviews.