A/N: if you must know, the title is just part of the naming convention of my anthology-type fics. No Fluttershy-debauchery will occur.


Besides, everyone belongs to Fluttershy. They just don't know it…



Tales of Fluttershy's Harem

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Disclaimer: yup, I'm going there. MLP belongs to Hasbro. After more than 20 years, they're finally doing it right! All hail Lauren Faust!


Red Bull

Fluttershy never told anyone when the Red Bull came to Ponyville. It was a small thing as bulls went, barely half-again bigger than her. If Fluttershy was the sort to call something pathetic, she would have called it so. She'd have almost let it go by, but it scared the unicorns for some reason, chasing them relentlessly once it had them in its sights.

So every month, when it came back from wherever distant place it came from smelling of dust, age, heat and sorrow, she Stared at it until it went away.

She's once asked Twilight Sparkle about it, and after a fruitless hour trying to coax the unicorn out from under her bed, when she moaned about how she didn't want to live in the sea, Fluttershy decided to ask Spike instead.

"Why? Why does it chase unicorns?"

"No one knows," the little dragon said. "Just that it won't leave the unicorns alone, but pretty much ignores everypony else. And unicorns are all scared of it, even if they've never heard or seen it before."

Fluttershy tried to ask the bull, but it never spoke, never stirred. So she sighed and made it go away, and swore to try again next time…


Want It, Need It

"Twilight, why exactly do you know a 'Want It, Need It' spell?"

Twilight blushed, not looking Fluttershy in the eye. "Everyfilly experiments in college…"


Don't Try This At Home

The explosion came from Sugar Cube Corner.

By the time worried ponies had made their way there, Pinkie Pie had already staggered down the stairs, still clutching the remains of a glass beaker.

"Oh my," Mrs. Cake said, more resigned than anything else. "What happened now,Pinkie Pie?"

"I have no idea!" Pinkie Pie cried. "I was just mixing Blur with Blur, then threw in some Rooster and Donkey, and it went KABLOOEY!"

Everyone stared at her.

She huffed and looked at the readers. "It makes sense if you remember your Mythbusters…"


Obvious Question

"Apple Jack?"

"Yeah, Twilight?"

"Exactly WHY does Pinkie Pie own a hot air balloon and a helicopter?"

"Ever wondered why it sometimes rains fish and frogs?"

"Oh. Well, that makes sense."



little is remembered of Discord's first reign, and the royal princesses refuse to speak of the subject. We do, however, retain some details, such as the brief existence of so-called 'Sea Ponies'…



"Pinkie Pie, what is with that ridiculous outfit? It clashes HORRIBLY with your complexion!"

"I'm not Pinkie Pie, I'm… DEADPIE! Once a perfectly normal pony, Deadpie was struck by a horrible disease in the head! With only one choice, Deadpie becomes part of a group that gave her all sorts of cool powers, but it made her CRAZY, and she ended up talking to people who aren't really there but are actually reading about stuff she's doing! Sometimes when she's naked in the shower!"

"So… you, except with a tacky outfit and no parties?

"Exac— wait! No parties?-! AHHHH! GET THIS OFF OF ME!-!-!-!-!"

Rarity chuckled as she went for her scissors. "Works every time…"

Pinkie looked at her readers. "You don't look at me in the shower all the time… do you?"



Hear ye, hear ye!

You are cordially invited to the royal wedding of Princess Celestia and her consort, Lord Binky, of Deathsrealm…

On the day of the wedding, there were several murmurs regarding the bony white horse in the black robe standing off to the side.

"Who's that?"

"Oh, I heard that's Lord Binky's business associate. I think they have something to do with farming. See the scythe?"

Twilight Sparkle, meanwhile, was inconsolable.

"I thought we had something special!" she bawled.



Pinkie Pie was taking a shower when she suddenly screamed, dropping the scrubbing brush from her mouth and pulling the shower curtain around herself, hiding her naked, soapy body.

"Ah! Readers looking at me in the shower! Perverts! Don't you have naked girls in the shower your own species to read about!-?"



Fluttershy of Equestria… you have the ability to overcome great fear… you have been Chosen… Welcome to the Green Lantern Corp…

"Oh my," Fluttershy waffled. "Are you sure?"

Well, you're no Takamachi Nanoha, but yeah, pretty sure.

"Well… can my clothes not be green? I have bad memories of green…"

What's wrong with green?

"Well, I was a supermodel, and…"

Say no more! You poor thing…


Recruitment 2

Luna of Equestria… you have the ability to cause great fear… you have been Chosen… Welcome to the Sinestro Corp…

Luna gave the little yellow thing a flat look. "NO!"

Thunder rumbled. Lightning flashed.

You are not helping your case.


Hangover Fallout

"Uh," Twilight moaned as she dragged herself out of bed. "Too… much… scumble… it can't be only apples…"

"Morning, Twilight!" Spike called out as he came up carrying breakfast, and Twilight cringed.

"Spike… quieter…" she pleaded. She looked around, noticing her floor was littered with glitter, ribbons, red construction paper, and a mug that had contained some of Apple Jack's special scumble. It was a wooden mug, since metal tended to oxidize with the drink. Twilight noticed she had one of Fluttershy's feather's tucked behind her ear. She levitated that out. "Ugh, what did I do last night?"

"Well," Spike said, sending down the breakfast daisies and some hay and carrot sticks. "You came in singing about how 'Canterlot fillies can do it all night', started crying about how Princess Celestia had used you— you still need to explain about that— then spent all night making her a card and writing on it and managed to have me send it before you passed out."

Cold dread filled Twilight. "Card? What did it say?"

"You wrote it yourself, so it was kinda messy," Spike said. "I thinkit started with 'You troll' and got weird from there."

Twilight debated slamming her head repeatedly on the floor. "Oh no…"

Spike suddenly burped, and a letter flamed into existence in front of him. "Hey, looks like you got a repl—"

He was cut off as Twilight took the letter and hastily unrolled it. She read it quickly, her eyes growing larger, twitched, then fainted.

Spike looked over her head to try to make out some of the letter.

To my dearest student,

While I would very much like to (covered by Twilight's horn) your (covered by hair) all night again, I don't think this letter of yours is well thought out or all that sober. And while I'm glad to hear you've gotten close enough to Rarity to (covered by limb) her in the barn, telling me about it isn't likely to get me to go there and join in, regrettably. By the way, Pinkie Pie's balloon was found crashed in the maze. I will send her home as soon as she stops calling herself Deadpie…

Spike got bored and went off to his chores.


Wanted, Needed

Fluttershy's house rumbled with the echoes of six ponies sleeping. Fluttershy lay in the center, Pinkie Pie cuddling against one side, Rarity at the other.

Pinkie opened one eye and made a slow, languorous smile. "Yes. We did. You DID read the title, right? And you missed it."

She closed her eyes and nuzzled further.

"I thought this fic was about me?" Fluttershy muttered.

Pinkie hushed her. "Shh… I'm the only one who talks to the readers, sweetums."


- To be continued...


A/N: There had BETTER be more Luna Episodes this season!

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.