A:N Ok this has been a tough one for me. Though I have written and hit the complete button a few times, now this one is my first story started, the first baby as you would say. It is a very near and dear to my heart tale. I want to thank all that have read reviewed and nommed it. I know that this will not be happy for all that read but after I wrote it there was an addition that made it complete (tissue warning for some). please be nice. AN at the end.
I have seen him in every state, seen every emotion play on his face. I have feared losing him and felt the joy of being told I get to keep him forever. But right now is when I am the most in love with him - here watching the morning sun paint his skin and highlight each and every freckle across his nose and cheeks, the few that scatter across his shoulders and upper back. Laying there softly snoring where I left him worn out and sated, I know I should let him rest. But watching him has always done - and probably will always do - things to me that can't be ignored.
OK - so, soon I will need to ignore them, at least part of the time - like in less then 24 hours when we are back home, and have a four-year-old's eyes on us. Walking slowly and quietly to the bed, I reach the foot of it and slowly pull the sheet off of him, exposing him inch by inch to me. His smooth skin is tanned from our honeymoon on the beach and his hair lightened. Peacefully laying here on the white sheets, he looks like a god.
I have never been a man of poetry and mushy things, but he makes me want to be. Actually, right now he makes me want to do a lot dirtier things though. As the sheet slides off his feet, I see him shudder a little. My fingertips running up his calves have him moaning in his sleep. My lips joining my fingers on the backs of his thighs has him groaning. By the time I reach his hip with my tongue, I look up to his smiling eyes as he turns, showing me how much he enjoys waking up this way.
"I'm gonna miss this kind of wake up." Threading his fingers through my hair, he licks his lips. I push myself up the bed so our breath is mixed.
"Well, there is always a lock on the door." I capture his lips. He rolls into me and we are a tangle of arms and legs. Somehow in the heat of things, he took over the power and is on top of me. He rocks into the kiss and my hips buck up, causing me to slide over his tight hole and rest between his tight cheeks. The slickness of my excitement lets me slide easily.
With his hands firm on my jaw, he breaks away. "Locks would be good, very good." Then he smashes back into me. I can feel him hard and wet between us. Taking advantage of his excitement and my strength, I flip us. I have had him all four days we have been here. Now I want something else.
Making my way from his mouth to his jaw and down his neck, I hear a melody of moans and groans and sighs. I feel him twitch against my stomach and I know I am hitting all the right spots.
"Fuck, Em! That feels so good!" He breathes against my ear as his arm holds my head in place and he grinds into me. "I love how you know my body so well."
Pushing and grinding against his erection, my body aches in an oh-so-good way. "Do you realize we haven't fully consummated our marriage yet?" He cocks his head and looks at me like I have two heads.
"Bunny, I can assure you that we have and on most every surface available in here." He is still very hard against me and I am tempted to sink into him, but I resist and push up from him.
Reaching under the pillow, I grab the lube from were we have been leaving it. Straddling him, I shake my head and reach behind me.
"Every surface, yes, but not every way. I have yet to take you yet - have you as my husband." As my slick hand wraps around his hot pulsing cock, his mouth forms the cutest O. As I line him up and start to sink down, his fingers dig into my hips. I can feel his legs shaking as he tries to control his breathing.
There is a sting, no doubt. It has been a while since I have had him like this. I can feel his hips twitch with the need of movement, but he stays still until I have the nod. He gives a small thrust up and I know I will have to take the reins here since his legs is still on the mend. Lifting up slowly, the sting subsides and as I sink down again slowly, the pleasure is there. I let out a growl and he screams out his pleasure.
"Oh, Fuck, Bunny! You have the sweetest ass, but please I need more, faster." I can't help, but laugh. He must feel it through our connection because his cock twitches in me. I want to give him what he wants, but I worry even now about his leg. His hands rise up from my hips across my abs and up to my nipples. His fingernails gently graze them and I buck up hard and then back down. It is like a thread pulling me - a direct line from my head to ass to dick.
"I can take it! Please, Bunny, please!" That was all he had to say as he gave my nipples a light tug. That was it and I was leaning down and capturing his mouth and kissing down his neck as I rolled my hips and drove us both wild.
Neither of us made any attempt to be quiet. His nails scratched at my scalp and down my back. I feasted on his lips and jaw and neck. I hit his spot on his neck and he would arch up - pressing deeper, causing me to arch up and press down. Soon we were both right there, both throbbing and ready. He didn't even need to touch me and I was shooting - painting his chest. I felt my ass contract around him and then the warmth of him in me. My back arches as I feel the twitches and final tremors in both of us before falling to the side and bringing his lips to mine.
"Now we are married." Jasper laughs a tired, satisfied laugh.
"Now we need another shower." Though we just had an amazing orgasm, I stir to like once again and my ass gives a "hell yes" twitch. It doesn't matter how long we have been at this. It won't matter how long we have been married. I will always love shower sex, always remember our first time, the time he took me in the shower.
Hopping up, I gather him in my arms as he lets out a little gasp and head for round two.
"Dad! I am over this whole artistic phase. This time he got into my French make-up Aunt Ali got me." Sasha has had many a tantrum like this since she became a teen, but I know this one is going to be bad.
Over the years, we have watched our sweet baby girl change from baby dolls and bunnies to Barbies and bras. Then came the hormones, the make-up and the little brothers knowing how to push her buttons. I try quietly as I can to slink out of the room.
"Oh, no, you don't, Emmett." I stop dead in my tracks and face him. I know that tone. Wooden spoon in one hand and baby girl on his hip, he is not letting me get away. Over the past 11 years, I have learned also not to try and run.
"Sorry Babe? What did you need?" Lame, I know, but it was worth a try.
"Oh, don't you even play dumb! Your son needs dealing with." Of course, he is "my son" when he is acting up, but the sweet boy is hers when he is being good. I'm not mad though. I did the same things to my own sisters and I get it. The flaw here is me trying to punish something that 30 years ago I would be urging on.
A lot of parents would blame it on his special needs, but we knew it was just his way of trying to get under his sister's skin. Benji came to us when he was three, but he looked like he was maybe just about two. He was born a crack baby. His birth mother - I am being polite but have called her much worse - was somehow missed by the system. He was found in conditions I hate to even think about now after she was arrested again and a neighbor called about a screaming baby. It was months and months of hospitals and doctors and it was years to catch him up. Now six years later, he is almost nine and the bane of his sister's existence. He has a few issues - autism being one of them - and he knows how they work best. I think it is funny at times, but the Papa in me ensures I have to step up and be a bad guy.
"Sash, I will deal with him but how bad was it?" She does her the whole 16-year-old thing with the huff and hair flip - the whole grand performance. "I want the real fact, Sweetpea, not the drama."
Jasper was an amazing parent, but it was usually my job to be able to cut through the B.S. - no matter how I want to high-five him for ruining the makeup I loathe. I am the "refuse to let them grow up" dad. I hated when she got boobs. I almost cried the day the princesses came down and the boy posters went up. Don't even get me started on the boyfriends.
"Well, I was out on the deck on the phone with Josh," - the current and hated boyfriend - "and I passed my window and saw him putting lipstick on all of my posters. He gave all the guys on my walls 'hooker' lips and colored their eyeshadow on with Sharpies." I had to bite my cheeks to keep from laughing. Looking over Sasha's shoulder, I was just in time to see Jasper hide a smile in baby girl's neck.
"OK, Sweetpea, how about you help your dad with Izzy so he can make dinner. I will go deal with 'Hellboy' quick before I have to pick up Eric from Ty and Leah's." I'm not gonna lie. I took a good five minutes in the hall trying not to laugh harder after peeking in her room.
Finally putting on the angry Papa face, I enter his room.
"Hey, Papa, what's up?" I had to hand it to him. The kid has balls.
Twelve years, four kids, so far, and I still can't believe he's mine, that we get to go through all of this together. OK, so not all of it is great and there is a chunk I wish we didn't have to deal with but we did. We got through it and we are happy - really happy. It has had it's ups and downs, but it was all worth it.
Handing baby girl off to her big sister, I straighten her hair and cup her cheek. "Papa will take care of it, and I am sure Aunt Ali will have more for you when she gets back next week."
She cradles the baby and kisses her cheek. "Yeah, right. You know Papa will high-five him. He hates the make\up and I am sure he had a good hard laugh over it down the hall." I know she is right, but I also I know that he will come up with some kind of punishment.
"Benji is just doing it to get under your skin, you know? He thinks you forgot all about him because you finally got your sister." She snorts and it sounds lame even to me, but what can you do. It is like that when you become a parent. It is like a switch is flipped and all the lame crap you were fed is now spewing from your mouth.
"Really, Dad?" We both have a good laugh and talk about life. This has always been our time. Sasha and Emmett bonded over sports and animals (our house is a zoo), but her and I always found our time in the quiet moments - even after Benji came along, and then Eric. Though when we got Eric, there was a bit less fun in it. Our quiet time was in helping him heal and him learning to use a wheelchair, spending time helping him in therapies and to doctors' appointments.
Eric came to us when he was seven, and pretty much sealed it for us. The children we want are those that others don't. They are the hurt, lost and broken - those with the need for someone to look beyond a physical or mental problem and see just a child that needed two parents. Though the great state of Texas has come leaps and bounds over the years, they still had a way to go in foster care and adoption.
Eric was brought to our attention by my mother-in-law making her rounds as she always does. She met him malnourished, bruised and scared. His father died in a drunken-driving accident and he was in the back seat. His mother was long gone. When we saw him for the first time, I think it was mutual - we both knew our path in life. Sasha was six, almost seven, when we found Eric. She was the first one to step up and ask if he could live with us. They are almost the same age and always two peas in a pod. Well, that is until they got into the dating scene - that and Eric wanting to play ball. Now they have a few hours a week were they are apart, when he goes to learn the game with his uncle or with whatever girl he is chasing.
"So when is Little Big gonna get to actually play?" That was what she has called Eric forever and it always make me smile. He is older, but she was here first. So she came up with it when she was about eight.
"He's supposed to start next month. We have to wait for his chair to be adapted again." Eric, we believe, will never stop growing. It takes months to get a sports chair made and this will be the third time he has outgrown the measurements. "I swear - this time, he will just have to play slouched if he grows again." I laugh at it, but she is talking in hushed tones.
Looking up from the sauce on the stove, I see she has Izzy on the table, tickling her and telling her that she is the prettiest baby in the world. Sasha begged us for years for a baby sister. We got that it was her in a house of guys for almost a decade. When we got the call about Izzy, it was a no-brainer. Sure we had never really had a "baby" baby, but when we heard about the Downs girl that was abandoned 24 hours after birth, that was it. Her mother had given birth and couldn't deal with the reality of a special-needs child. We saw it as a perfect addition to our family. When we brought her home, it was a reality check for us, but I am taking a year off and we have the help and support. Seeing Sasha with her only confirms it, we made the right choice. Are we done? Who knows. We are done with fostering, though. We knew that after the second child left us. It was too hard. But we are happy to give a forever family for children and animals alike.
"Okay, Benj, what do you have to say to your sister?" Emmett has a hand on the back of our son's neck and Benji has his cat in his arms.
"Sasha, I'm sorry I ruin your makeup and posters." He is doing his sensory thing stroking his cat's ear. Henry is used to it and his purr says he is happy in his job. "Papa says I will pay you back for the posters and I get no game time for two weeks."
My eyes catch Emmett's and I see him checking if it is a good-enough punishment. We hate to do it at all, but I think it is fair and give a small nod. Then I look between Sash and Benj. I see her reminded of the anger, but I also see her analyzing her brother's stress and see her eyes soften. She pulls Izzy off the table and into her arms. Kissing the baby's head, she gets up and goes over to her brother.
Leaning down, she kisses him the same way as she did the baby. It makes us both a bit teary. "Thanks Benj, but how about instead of paying me back, we use the money and have a Sash/Benj day at the arcade."
His face lights up and they are off planning a day for them. Emmett scoops the baby out of her arms and lets them take off. Coming to stand beside me, my arms wrap around them both.
"We are the bomb when it comes to this shit." He pecks my lips.
"Shik!" Izzy mocks. I glare.
"Oops, sorry Babe, I forgot." He pouts and I still can't resist.
"Last time, I warn you. Then it's soap in the mouth." I try to play tough.
His dimples and wink melt me a bit. "Sawwy daddy . . ." Then he gives me the pout and he knows what it does to me when he does that. Despite the baby girl in my arms, I still get a rush.
"Thin ice, Bunny, very thin . . ." His hand shifts from my lower back down into my jeans pocket.
"Promise, Jazz Baby?" Oh, he is gonna get it - so, so gonna get it.
... ... ... ... ... ... ...
I'm leaning against my cane that I only briefly went without. I had a good 10 years of freedom from it, but a slip in a freak ice storm a few winters back and a broken hip ensured it would be needed from then on. It bugged me at first, but not Emmett. Nope, he thought it was sexy - with the grey hair at my temples. He said I was distinguished. I can work with that.
I watch my husband out there now, in the yard and I am still in love, and in awe of him. Twenty five years, two and a half decades and six kids - not a thing has changed though,. We still love and laugh and cry together. The first person we look for in a room is the other. The last person we talk to at night is the other. I'm not saying we never fight because we have, but it never was big, never was over anything that lasted. We had bigger things to do than fight.
The last one was over Clay. We had said no more after EJ. He completed our family. We had our house on the hill, full and happy. But then when Siobhan and Jenks invited us over for dinner a few months after I reinjured my leg, his mama was talking about this little boy. Orphaned after a house fire, only eight and blinded in the fire. I gave Emmett the look, and he shook his head.
He was worried I was still recovering and EJ was enough for me to handle with all the running around for his therapies, and Izzy was hitting the terrible mid-teens. But the fight didn't last long and I know he knows we made the right choice. Watching them now working together and him showing him the proper way to set the table by feel, it was perfect and we felt complete.
Catching his eye, he smiles up at me and gives me the dimple-wink combo. I still feel the rush. Age has treated him well. As I went grey, his hair went back. I opted for going with it. He went with shaving his head. With his body holding up and his laugh lines, the bald head worked and he was still sexy as ever. He still has his muscles and size. His back is now more colorful than the first time I saw it. Everything else is the same. - strong shoulders, built chest, sparkling eyes, larger-than-life presence. At 55, he was better than ever and all mine.
"You just gonna stand there gawking at my awesomeness or are you gonna come down and give us a hand, Babe?" Clay laughs and I roll my eyes. Yup, nothing has changed.
Heading to the stairs, I shake my head. "Bunny, you really need to get over yourself. You would think after all these years you might at least try to fake humble."
This makes him and the kids laugh. "Good one, Dad. Papa being humble would be like Benji being low-key," Sasha laughs.
"Hey, I can be low-key," Benji says as he flounces by and corrects his sister's placement of the flowers on the table. We all break out in a full-on laugh.
Benji's artistic outbursts transformed over the years into coming out as a very flamboyant gay man. We had no issues, but his sisters gave him hell all the time about being over the top.
"Kids, please, can we just give it a rest today? I know how to handle Daddy. You guys get to work. Today is a big day." Emmett runs his hand from my side and around my back, pulling me close. With a deep kiss, we hear a collective "Eww" from the kids.
Emmett's lips rip from mine and his death glare has them all happily back on their tasks. I chuckle and take over helping Clay.
I saw how he was watching. I knew the look well. He often did it over the years. Jasper had this thing where he went into the past. He would stand back, look at a scene in front of him and years of us would play back.
It happens a lot and I let him have a moment or two before I break it. He doesn't want to forget a thing. I don't either, but I do my memory thing as I sneak in and watch them sleep, or wandering around the house and spacing out to the pictures we have all over the house. He was everything I could ever wished for, hoped for and probably never deserved. But I am grateful for every single day I have had and hope for so many more.
As I give the kids the "Papa look" as they call it, my heart melts as I see everything he sees. Clay is making his way about the world and adjusting over the past two years. Benji, though he threw us for a loop, is perfect in our eyes, with a blooming career in learning under Alice's ever-watchful eye.
Izzy is, well, Izzy. She has never let Downs hold her back and the teen years are proving she is just as much a handful as her sister was - if not more.
EJ, well, he was about to hit his teens and, well, I worry. He has always been so sensitive I fear what we will be going through. But together I know we will be OK. OK I hope we will make it through.
Clay - I watch as he works along side his dad and have no doubt about him. He will be as awesome as his oldest siblings. He never let anything get in his way. Each day was a new challenge. Each test was something to be challenged and put to shame. I can't believe I somehow almost said no.
Shaking my head, I look all around me. Fate is a crazy thing - good thing we thrive on crazy.
"Papa, are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna put your ass in gear?" Sasha, my sweet beautiful girl is in her classic impatient stance. I think she learned it from her mother-in-law, Rose.
"Sorry, Sweetpea, I'm on it." Sasha was a wonder, a force of nature. When she decided to go into architecture, we were in shock. When she graduated college with honors, she took over Jasper's spot in the family business and he was able to follow a new passion - family and working with my mother.
She grew up with Banner, Rose and Bella's only child. He was 5 years her junior, but that didn't mean anything to them or us. The bond was always there and just natural to everyone. So when they told us they went and eloped, the only concern was keeping Alice from killing them when she was denied a wedding. Today, she gets one though.
The pixie woman shouts from the top of the stairs to just leave her and Benji to the rest of it and to go get ready. "The couple is almost ready and looking amazing, of course. So you better all live up to my expectations."
Everyone runs off, but we make our way slowly. We have the honor of being pressure-free. In our room, we slowly undress each other, both wishing we had more time as I am on my knees with my mouth pressed against the fly of Jasper's boxers. Just about the time I am about to cave and give him a little quick fun, there is a tap on the door.
"No monkey business boys! We have a schedule to keep." We both let out a groan, but Alice's voice pretty much takes care of the need.
"We're getting ready Ali, chill your jets." I hear a snicker from her like she doesn't believe a word of it, but we hear the clicking of her heels as she moves on.
Jasper pulls me back up, cups my face and looks up to me. "We have the whole weekend. Tonight, I promise."
I mirror his actions and lean down, "Not gonna get here soon enough." With one last deep kiss, we finish getting ready.
"Seems like yesterday, doesn't it?" I look over and see him watching us both in the mirror. Coming up behind him, I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my chin on his shoulder. Searching each other's faces, I can't see the age. All I can see is the same man I walked up to in the restaurant. The nerves and the beauty - the man that I knew on the spot was "it" for me.
He meets my eyes in the mirror and gives me the half-smile that always shoots to my cock. "Some days, yeah, it does. Today, it seems like yesterday and today collided. I still love you as much as the minute I met you, but with the added twist of learning, living and knowing all the in-between." Turning in my arms, he reaches up with both hands on my face. "It has been a crazy journey, but there is no one else I would want to go through it with."
Pulling my lips to his, it is a tender kiss that tells me that this will always be home. His mouth, his tongue, him in my arms. No matter what, this is where I have always belonged.
I rapid knock on the door stops us from getting out of hand. "It's time." Jasper's father's voice is filled with humor. Seems over the years, our hidden moments alone have not been as private and quiet as we hoped.
"OK, dad. Be out in a minute!" Jasper yells, as he straightens my tie and brushes invisible lint off my lapels.
"Ready for this?" I eye-to-eye him. He nods. "No tears?"
"I can't promise that, and you are a fool to ask." It is my turn to nod.
Grabbing his cane and taking my outstretched hand, we both take a deep breath and head out of the room. At the bottom of the stairs, we see Eric waiting and it is me that tears up first. He is our first son. He is still that little boy we first brought home. To me, he is still throwing the temper tantrums and shooting hoops in the drive. Hard to believe that he is thirty and about to marry the love of his life.
Jasper laughs, squeezes my arm and pecks my cheek. "And I'm the one that was warned about tears?"
Wiping my tears, we hit the bottom step and both hug him.
"We ready?" Jasper asks. Eric nods, but wipes his sweaty palms on his thighs.
"It's okay, kid. We got you." We each put a hand on the back of his chair. He nods and swallows a few times.
"Before we go, I just want to make sure you guys think I am doing the right thing." I remember those feelings. I remember the wedding-day jitters. Twenty-five years ago to the day, I remember. But then I catch Jasper's eyes. I see the love shining through. I see the same look as when we met before the JP. I look at our son and I answer honestly.
"Eric, I can honestly say that there is no choice I made that I have ever been more sure of than marrying this man here." I squeeze Jasper's hand before bringing it to my lips. "When you know, you know. And frankly since you both figured it out 10 years ago, we waited and hoped and prayed. Now you know, and we all know that you will be amazing and do great things."
Both Jazz and Eric have tears in their eyes. and then the music starts. I wipe away my own and nod to Jasper as the music swells. After a kiss to each of Eric's temples then to his lips, we start to push him down the path.
It is almost identical to our own wedding 25 years ago to this day and see the faces that have been there the whole way. Edward and Jacob wear the same tears of joy that we do. Each of them have an arm looped in Masen's. As we place their hands together, we embrace as fathers, as parents, as family.
"Tell me again." I look up at her from my usual Tuesday position. She is as blonde, maybe a little grey there, but pretty as ever. I know she doesn't want to know because she forgot - I know it is because she loves to hear it. She loves love. She is in love with the notion that we were raised by the ideal parents, something many in our position don't get.
"Well Izz, Papa always bragged that he and Daddy never spent more then four days apart. And that was way too much back when they first met. So in the end, after almost 60 years together, Papa said goodbye to Daddy. He went home and made sure each and every one of us was okay. He laid down in their bed and went to sleep."
"Then he left us?" She knows the story, but loves to hear it every week.
"No, Izzy, then he went home. Papa went home. Papa went home, made made sure we were all OK and went to sleep and joined daddy." She tucks into my side and I hold her close. Not all of us have stayed so close, but the vast majority of us have. There were 40 altogether. I was the first, but I kept count and kept aware of all of them. I am trying to keep up the legacy. It is a rough road and a lot to live up to, but these men - these two people gave up so much and fought so hard against not only politics and the state, but society just to save us kids. I will spend every day making sure they - and the kids - are not forgotten.
E/N: Once again thanks to all that have read and reviewed. 3 I am sure many will be saying this is a sad ending. But to me it is a happy ending. If you love great it will carry on and to me great people and the influence they have on the world no matter what will be our future. Thank you for reading I love you all!