Hello everyone this is my first Pandora Hearts fanfic, but I have wanted to do one for a while. I hope you enjoy the series as much as I do. This is about Oz's life before meeting Gil. Please enjoy!

Not Here Again: Prologue

As far back as I can remember my father avoided looking at me directly in the eye. In fact, he tried to avoid looking at me at all, but when he had to he would never look at me and see me. I could tell he was looking at someone else; someone he hates. I don't remember what my mother looks like; my father never let me near her. It seemed as if I would do some harm to her if she saw me.

Not long after Ada my sister was born, but even then I did not get to even lay eyes on her until she was two years old. My room was the farthest away from everyone else's so Ada often asked me why I used that room. My heart felt a sharp pain, but I played it off with a smile, because if I worry her or anyone who cares for me my existence would be meaningless. "I like having some distance to have time to myself. It gives me much time to think about myself and what I can do to help others, Ada."

"Really? That just seems lonely to me, but father said that it is better for mother's health," Ada looked up at me as she held my hand. I bit my lip hard trying to ignore the emotions brewing in my heart. I didn't want that room so empty of life; it was father who placed me in that room so cold of any emotion. My father walked into the room and ordered me to let go of Ada and go to my room. Whenever he was in my presence I could never really get a good view of his face, and if it wasn't for his cold demeanor and stance I wouldn't really be able to tell the difference from him or any other guy.

Ada got to spend time with both mom and dad. I sat in my room and picked up the first volume of a book I found in our library. It wasn't the first book I read nor would it be the last. Books had stories about families that loved each other and risked everything to protect it. Books taught me off emotions I rarely have seen displayed at me. Books became my escape, however, this particular book gave me an answer to my question. The answer on how I should live.

The book was a series that even now is not finished. For so long I read that book as if it was a guide for how the unwanted should live life. When I turned seven my father was hardly ever home and my mother I could never find. Uncle Oscar started showing up around that time to make sure my mother and the house was under control. Ada ran up to him all smiles, but I could not trust anyone. I hid halfway behind the nearest door and started at him with curious, but cold eyes. He looked at me for only half a second then picked up Ada and left my sight. Pain was normal for me so I didn't even blink as he took away the only person who even tried to be nice to me. I picked up a valuable vase with roses in them and shattered it on the ground. I had read in some story that roses represented love, but it wasn't something I believed in and I hated those flowers for trying to make a mockery of my life, my existence. I didn't clean it up. I went into my room and cried silently hoping that my death would come soon. That night I was kidnapped.

I don't remember much of the kidnapping for some reason, but I do remember the kidnapper had dirty blonde hair and that it was a woman. I don't remember who rescued (or rather imprisoned) me or how I got in my room, but when I came to I tried to open my door. It was no use. It was locked. I don't know how many days I was locked in the room without food or water. One day I felt that death was creeping over me and I thought, finally I can leave behind this pain. I smiled. The door opened and I saw the face of Uncle Oscar before it blurred into gray and I shut my eyes in hope it was the last time I would close them.

When I opened my eyes I thought that maybe I was in hell since heaven would certainly be ruined with me there. However, Uncle Oscar leaned his face toward mine and then smiled. "Ah glad you are awake, for a minute there I wasn't sure if you were going to make it, but I'm glad you're alive." I was weak, but with all the strength I could muster I whacked his hand away from me.

"Why didn't you let me die? I was finally going to find some peace and you ruined it," I shouted and closed my eyes as tears threatened to come. No one can know how weak I am inside if they do then they will be disgusted with me even more.

"I didn't let you die because someone was worried about her brother who she couldn't find," Uncle Oscar patted my head. I was too tired to slap his hand away so I glared. "Would you like to see her? She is worried about you, you know." I turned my head to face the wall. I was mad that I made her worry.

"Brother!" Her small voice bellowed with worry.

"I'm fine Ada, just a little tired so don't worry about me," I murmured. A maid walked in with a tray of tea, bowed, and then left the room.

"Did you know brother that mommy and daddy went on a trip? Uncle Oscar says he will be watching us until they return home from their trip," Ada said.

"What? I sat up in shock." I could feel my emotions of loneliness take control of my body. My eyes became unseeing and unfocused, my body became stiff, and I could feel drops of sweat collecting on my face. I felt a whack against my back and the emotion vanished quickly.

"No need to thank me Oz. I will look after the two of you from now on." That was the first time he said my name.