Ren-sama's Note:

This fan fiction is a mix of yaoi and incest between Subaru and Kamui. Please don't continue if you don't like the genre. The characters are not mine. I borrowed them from X-1999. But the settings and everything else are of my own creation. ˆoˆ


Subaru and Kamui Shirou are brothers. Subaru is only two years older but the two of them never became close – not even when they were young, not even now, and maybe not in the future. Kamui always thought that his brother doesn't like him. Subaru seems to have built a wall to separate them, or at least shun Kamui outside his world. Moreover, people tend to compare the two of them whenever they see them together. This might be one of the reasons why his older brother doesn't like him at all. Now, Subaru is in his third year in senior high school and Kamui in his first year.

"Kamui, catch!" Sorata said as they are playing basketball. Kamui might not have the necessary height but he sure has the necessary skills. He caught the ball and shot a three-pointer. The audience, again, ran a round of applause for his magnificent shoots. When the game finished, the coach approached them.

"Do the two you want to be in the basketball club?" he asked.

"Of course!" Sorata enthusiastically answered. He looked at Kamui then.

"No, I don't want to. Sorry." He said.

"Eh! But I'm alone!" Sorata made a puppy like eyes.

"I don't care." Kamui said. But he smiled after a while.

They are eating lunch when Sorata opened the topic about the tennis wanting new applicants. Kamui seemed tense for a while but he relaxed when Sorata said that he's not forcing Kamui to join. Nokoru, Suoh, and Akira are eating silently while listening to their conversation.

"So, what's your plan? You have to pick a club soon, you know." Sorata insisted.

"I want to join the tennis club… but he's there as well…" Kamui quietly answered.

"Mattaku, why do you always worry about him? He doesn't even care about you!" Sorata said this without thinking. Nokoru immediately covered his mouth and Suoh hit him hard in the head. Kamui seemed shocked at first but laughed when his friends did that.

"I'm sorry…" Sorata apologized after a while.

"It's okay." Kamui smiled.

"But really, why do people always compare the two of you when the difference is a so huge it can occupy the entire universe?" Sorata said this with a sigh.

"You really don't have an ounce of delicacy, don't you?" Akira pinched Sorata's cheeks and pulled them outward.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Alright, I get it! I'm sorry!" cried Sorata.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Tadaima." Kamui said when he entered their house. Subaru is in the living room but he didn't answer him nor even looked at him. He just continued reading a book that looks like a very cool novel.

"Okairi!" His mother, Tooru, was the one who answered. She is smiling at him. Kamui returned it with his own heart-melting smile.

After a while, someone knocked on the door. Kamui opened it and let Fuuma, Yuuto, Shiyuu, Saiki, and Nataku inside. These three third years are his brother's friends. Only Fuuma greeted him. The others only greeted Subaru. The four of them went to Subaru's room, which Kamui have not even seen. Subaru always locks his door when he's inside or even when his out. Kamui thinks that even their parents have not seen how it looks inside except during his toddler age. He somehow felt envious of Subaru's friends.

"Even his friends don't like me" Kamui thought. He stayed inside his room and took a nap until night. He woke up when he heard his brother's friends laughing on the other side of the wall.

He heard a knock, and after that a voice. "It's dinnertime." Kamui almost jumped out of his bed when he heard his brother's voice. It's the first time he called him during dinner. He's used that their mother is the one who calls him.

"Maybe she's busy" he thought.

"Did you hear me?" Subaru knocked again.

"Ah, yes… I'll come down in just a minute." He answered. And the knocking ceased; the voice did not speak anymore. He felt a kind of loneliness. Ever since they were little, he's been praying for his brother to like him. If only his brother would speak to him… not the way he speaks to him now but in a more brotherly way. He remembered during elementary when he first attempted to open a conversation between them. It was recess and his brother was together with those guys.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan!" He called out but his brother didn't seem to hear anything, not even then and not even now. When he tried to touch him, Subaru slapped his hands and glared at him.

"I don't consider you as my brother so don't ever call me that. Now, get lost!" Kamui was shocked. Until then, he thought his brother was just an introvert and doesn't want to start conversations with him. Only then did he found out that he was actually hated.

"Nohe hates me from the very startI knew it and I just didn't want to accept itHe gets along well with his friendsHe laughs with them alwaysWhy does he hate me so much?" he cried his heart out in his room after that. And he never tried to speak to him again. And thus, the silent war between them had started.

He heard another knock. "Kamui?" It's his mother this time. Of course it's his mother. His brother would never call him by his name, especially not in a very adoring way like that. He opened the door and smiled at her. He just realized how he loves her so much.

It's very noisy in the dining room. Subaru's friends are more hyper than usual. Later on, he learned that it is Fuuma's birthday.

"Happy birthday. Sorry, I didn't know." Kamui said when they are eating dinner. He smiled at Fuuma.

"…Because you don't have to know." Subaru said without looking at him. The once joyful party suddenly became tense. Mrs. Shirou heaved a deep sigh.

"Ahhah… you'll make your little brother hate you if you keep saying things like that, Subaru." Fuuma said jokingly, but with a hint of seriousness. Subaru didn't react to what he said. The atmosphere somewhat became lighter after that. Then, he turned to Kamui and smiled. "Thank you! You can just give my gift next time. Or, you can just put a ribbon around your neck and go to my house." Kamui's shocked and reddened expression made him laugh.

"It was a joke. Sorry." Fuuma said while still laughing. The others also laughed with him. Subaru and Saiki remained quiet.

They decided to stay for the night since the next day is Saturday anyway.

"Subaru, why don't you sleep in Kamui's room so your friends can all stay in your room?" Their mother suggested. Subaru and Kamui both looked like cold water was poured on them. Subaru was about to argue but Fuuma stopped him by saying, "Now, that's a very nice birthday present for me." Subaru glared at him but didn't argue anymore. Kamui couldn't think of an excuse so he remained quiet.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"I'll sleep on the sofa." Subaru said quietly. They are in Kamui's room. He is preparing the bed when his brother said this. Kamui stopped what he's doing and looked at him. Subaru is standing beside the doorway like he's a visitor in a stranger's room.

"No, you can share the bed with me if you want, Onii–." He stopped. He never called Subaru like that ever since that day. They are really like strangers now. "Uhmm… You might not be comfortable on the sofa." He said unsurely.

"I'll sleep on the sofa." Subaru repeated seriously as if he didn't hear Kamui. "If you don't want that, I'll just sleep in the living room."

"Well, if that's what you want…" Kamui didn't try to argue anymore. He'll never win anyway. Subaru already went to the sofa without another word and slept.

"Do you sleep with the lights turned off?" Kamui asked, realizing how he doesn't know anything about his brother. There's always this awful feeling that's slowly creeping out of him whenever he tries to talk to his brother. It's killing him from the inside.

When Subaru didn't answer, Kamui decided to turn the lights off. He went to bed as well. He couldn't sleep at first. He is getting conscious of his brother. What if his brother is not comfortable? What if his brother couldn't sleep because he's there? What if he snores? Then his brother would be disturbed. What if he annoys him without noticing? What if… What if…

But slowly, his consciousness took him from his bed to a place far away, back to when he was just elementary. His brother is also there, but not the brother that he knows. Subaru is very kind, and he smiles at Kamui gently. They crossed rivers while splashing waters on each other. Subaru even guides him while crossing the river. And suddenly, the two of them were already in their third year and first year high school. But Subaru remained gentle and kind, smiling to him every time he looks at him. Subaru held his hand gently. He didn't get angry when Kamui called him onii-chan. He held Kamui's hand tightly… tightly… and he caressed Kamui's face with his other hand… and he kissed Kamui's forehead like what kind big brothers do… and his cheeks… and his lips… Kamui reddened and tried to push his brother but Subaru pulled him close… and Subaru slowly tried to open Kamui's mouth with his tongue… he gasped because of surprise… Subaru took advantage of this and shove his way inside his mouth… Kamui groaned… His lips are trembling. But Subaru didn't care. He continued to kiss him torridly. Kamui can feel Subaru's tongue inside his mouth… he can't explain the feeling. It feels as if something is slowly awakening inside him; and he started to feel dizzy…

"Do big brothers really do this?" Kamui asked in his dream. Startled, he almost jumped out of bed. He's breathing raggedly. He's drenched in sweat. It's a nightmare…

"What's wrong with me? What's with that dream?" Kamui looked around him. It's already morning and Subaru is nowhere in sight but his blanket is still on the sofa. "Maybe he came back to his roomand forgot his blanket?"

He got up after a while and took a long, cold bath. After that, he covered himself in a very small towel which only covers from below his navel to the upper part of his thighs and walked out of the bathroom. He was about to prepare clothes when he saw himself in the mirror. He moved forward and looked at himself full in the face. His lips are still trembling – from the chill or the dream, he doesn't know. He touched his lips with his equally cold hands. He was so focused in himself that he almost shouted when he saw Subaru behind him.

"I forgot my blanket." He said in his very own cold voice.

"Oh. " He said, still dripping wet with cold water. "I put it on the bed." He waited for his brother to avert his gaze and get the blanket but Subaru remained silent, looking at Kamui's soaking wet, cold body with his cold eyes. When Kamui noticed this, he became conscious of himself.

"It's on the bed." He repeated. Subaru then unhurriedly took his blanket and left with the door in ajar without even a second look.