DISCLAIMER:I do not own the characters. DGM is a work of Katsura Hoshino.
WARNING: The characters may be OC. This fanfic contains Yullen pairing.
"Thank you, Allen Walker"
Kanda Yu…the name that my heart is always yearning for to hear. The name of the person that is special to me…the name of the person that I can no longer be with.
At first, Kanda and I really hated each other's guts. Well, it's not really like I hate him; I just don't like his attitude towards other people. We never get along with each other. Whenever we are together, we always end up fighting each other. But in my heart of hearts, I was not able to realize two things. First is that I liked Kanda in a special way, and second…that he likes me back.
It was during that time that we have just barely recovered from our injuries after the battle in the ark when Kanda talked to me seriously. That time, I already have feelings for him and I was just hiding it from him. While I was alone in the musician's room, I was sitting on the sofa while staring at the white piano. I was thinking of the possible reasons why Mana did all of those to me. As I was lost in thought, I felt a hand on my head. It was Kanda. I simply stared at him and he glared at me, and then suddenly grabbed my hair. I jerked.
"Hey, ouch! Let go of my hair, BaKanda!" I said, removing his tight grip on my hair.
"You looked like a lost puppy earlier, Moyashi" insulted Kanda as he sat down beside me. I chuckled and hugged my legs. 'Yes, I am indeed a lost puppy' and I thought I have only said those words in my head, but I have said it aloud. I turned my head slowly to him and saw his natural 'sour' expression. I smiled.
"What's wrong?" asked Kanda, relaxing his back on the sofa. I stared at him in surprise. I was not able to respond.
"Well? I don't like waiting, Moyashi." said Kanda. I blinked my eyes several times before the 'almost impossible thing' happened. Kanda pushed me down on the sofa. Now, he was staring directly in his eyes. I was speechless.
"Spit it out. I'm losing my temper babysitting you." said Kanda. I frowned.
"Oi, Bakanda, let's get things straight. You always lose your temper and I never asked you to babysit me. And besides, I'm not even obliged to say everything to you." I said as I tried to push him away. He caught my hands and held it tightly with one hand.
"Yes, you are obliged to say everything to me." says Kanda, pulling his face closer to mine. It was awkward.
"And why…is that, if I may ask?" I asked, looking at him directly with my blushing face. Kanda, with his other hand, held my chin and smirked.
"Because you're my lover."
He said that…that fragment…with a smirk. I was dumb-founded.
"Kanda…" I said calmly "don't you think that you have been thinking highly of yourself lately?"
Kanda glared at me, and then chuckled.
"I'll give you a wake-up call" said Kanda.
I was interrupted when Kanda's lips were on mine. He is kissing me.
He is kissing me…
He is kissing me…was all I can think during that time. It was…It was unbelievable.
When he pulled his lips away from mine, he looked at me with sincere eyes. His eyes were filled with warmth, just like his soft lips.
"Would you like to spit it out now?" asked Kanda gently. I felt a flush on my face.
"Sp-spit out what?" I asked, trying to avoid the subject.
Kanda heaved a sigh and suddenly lie down beside me. I was about to fall when he pulled me closer to his body. To be precise, he buried my head on his chest.
"Are you trying to suffocate me, BaKanda?" I asked.
"Shut up, you're annoying, Moyashi." said Kanda, holding me tighter. I felt annoyed. Shouldn't I be the one reprimanding? Before I could even reprimand him, I saw that he was already asleep. I stared at his peaceful face. He is, without a doubt, beautiful. Not wanting to disturb him in his sleep, I simply buried my face on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. He was warm and he smelled like flowers. He was warm…and he helped me ease the heavy and cold pain that I'm experiencing. If only I could, I would've stayed in his arms longer. But, that is not allowed. I'm a destroyer of time. I'm a destroyer who doesn't even know everything about himself. With me being so confused of who I really am, of what I really am, of how did all of those to happen to me, I just can't…bound myself to him or let him bound his self to me. I simply can't do that…
And now, as I am being held as a prisoner in the Order after the incident with Alma Karma, I regretted it all. If only I had bound myself to him back then, I would have been able to say the words 'I love you' to him.
If only I had the courage to rely on others, he would've been here beside me.
If only I was stronger…He would be still here…
If only I did not reject him…I would have heard the words 'I love you, Allen Walker' instead of 'Thank you, Allen Walker'.