Chapter two: just a little bit of what Maka's side was.
Her body hurt.
Her body hurt, and she felt weird, and there was something warm pressing up against her back.
Maka closed her eyes and stopped breathing for a second.
Yup, it hadn't been her imagination. There was someone else's breath hitting the back of her neck, and there was someone else's arm slung over her waist.
She knew who it was, but she still needed to see.
Slowly, taking care not to disturb him, she shifted, rolling onto her back within the circle of his arms. A jolt of pain shot through her and she paused, wincing slightly, before fully turning to face the boy—the man—who was in bed with her.
Even in the darkness of the room, she could still see the shock of white hair splashing over his forehead and drifting over his closed eyelids. His mouth was open slightly, showing a glimpse of his distinctive shark teeth, and a small trail of drool trickled from the corner. The familiar scar was now under her hands, which had come to rest on his bare chest. His skin was soft to the touch, but she could feel the taut muscle underneath it. She knew he was naked, could feel that, what with their legs so entwined, but she blushed anyway, memories filling her head.
She had thought it was just a crazy, amazing, beautiful dream, but it had been real.
His eyes may have been closed now, but just a few hours ago, that red, dark gaze had been fixed on her as his hands pressed her legs apart. She could remember the look on his face, and the way he had pressed his forehead into her shoulder and hunched his back to move in her. She still felt his hands, larger than she'd ever realized, stroking down her sides and clutching at her hips. She could hear him gasping her name, lips ghosting against her skin, and she never wanted to forget any of it.
They'd had sex. It had hurt, and still did, but that wasn't important at all. What was important was the fact that it was Soul. He had kissed her, he had started this. Soul had wanted to have sex with her, he'd actually wanted her.
It was that knowledge that had brought her to that high at the end, when the pleasure beat out the pain.
Sex wasn't the right word for it, because it didn't come close to describing how it had felt. Making love didn't sound right either, too old-fashioned. She didn't know what to call what had happened between them, but she knew that it was everything she'd been wanting.
She moved in closer to him, feeling his arms automatically tighten around her, and closed her eyes to drift back asleep.
She was awake less than twenty minutes later.
She slowly pulled away, carefully disentangling herself from his limbs—he couldn't wake up, she had to make sure he didn't wake up, please don't let him wake up—and climbed out of the bed, hobbling awkwardly out the open door into the hallway. She could see stray pieces of clothing lying around, and she grabbed hers, clutching them to her chest as she escaped to the bathroom.
She locked the door and faced herself in the mirror. Her own reflection, panicked and disapproving, stared back at her.
She wasn't on the pill, and neither of them had been able to pause long enough to even try to think about using a condom. She knew her cycles, and knew that right now was the worst time for her to be having unprotected sex. She knew the chances, but, more than that, she had a feeling.
What they had just done would have almost definitely made her pregnant.
She clapped her hand over her mouth, muffling her own sob. Her nerves were stretched tight. This day had been an emotional roller coaster: first the adrenaline of a mission, then tiredness, then abruptly a hunger and heat and yes so good don't stop Soul, then happiness, then this: fear, panic, a slightly nauseous feeling.
What did she do now? What NOW?
She was meister to a Death Scythe growing more powerful every day. They were sent on missions all the time, and when they weren't, they were filling in for Stein at Shibusen, teaching the kids. There wasn't room in her life for a monumental mistake like this!
No. Her brain instantly rejected her last statement. If there was one thing she could never think of as a mistake, it was sleeping with Soul. She could regret her own stupidity, but she could never regret the culmination of years of unspoken longing. She needed to hold onto that memory, because she knew now that it would never happen again.
There was no way she could burden him with a baby, not when he had probably only kissed her as a spur of the moment thing, and then went with the flow when she reciprocated.
No, this was her problem, and the least she could do for him was to not drag him into it.
"Maka? Why are you calling so late?"
"I did something stupid."
She was packed. She was ready. She had a place to go, a place to hide.
Still she hesitated.
He was still asleep when she opened the door to his bedroom, crossing to the bedside. He was still in the same position he'd been in before. He hadn't noticed her absence yet.
She watched the shaft of light from the hallway trace across his cheek, and a fist clenched around her heart. She'd done something even stupider than sleeping with him, and she only truly realized what it meant now as she was staring down at him.
She was in love with him. With Soul Eater Evans.
She bent down and carefully touched her lips to his mouth, one last time, less of a kiss than a farewell.
"Goodbye, Soul," she whispered.
The door closed behind her.
One more chapter to go.