Karkat doesn't hate everybody after all
A/N I don't own Homestuck. No duh. This was my first Homestuck fanfiction, please be kind. I've improved a lot since than.
[EDIT] I updated it a bit ^^; OLD STUFF
====Be Karkat Vantas
I stared expressionless at my computer. John was being an idiot,what else was new.
CG:WHAT DO YOU WANT
CB:i found this slime
CB: it looks cool
I face palmed.
CG:DONT TOUCH IT AND KEEP MOVING ON
He grined at it and went on his moronic way. I sighed. I hated helping him in real time.
Someone cackled behing me. Terezi. My face turned red and I tried to hide it.
"Karkat, I didn't know you were a homosexual."She smelled my face red...She thought I was blushing because of John."Shut up, Terezi! I don't need your crap to drive my nubs into insanity like the rest of these fuckers!" I yelled at her. She cackled and said,"See you later, Gay K." She said and walked away...It was kind of funny but I wasn't going to let her know that.
Tavros started laughing from a couple of computers tapped my shoulder,it was Gamzee."What could you possibly have to tell me now? You were just here five fucking minutes ago."I yelled.
"Vriska said she needed to tell you something. It sounded all important, Bro."He said.
"Tell I don't want to deal with her right now!" I said turning around.
"She said she has your computer."
"She was over there."
I got up and stormed off down the hall.
==== Be Vriska Serket.
Hmm. Terezi said Karkat was in a worse mood then she also mentioned he was gay for that John kid. I knew for a fact he wasn' I came to the conclusion that he blushed 'cause Terezi was over there. Now to tell John and he won't let it go if Karkat denies it.
I came from out of the Shadow where I was hiding. Gamzee had walked away and Karkat's computer was left unattended.
CG: Hey John guess what!
CG: You're catching on fast, Eg8ert.
EB: oh hey!
EB: why are you on karkats computer?
EB: why cant you just pester me?
CG: I wanted to tell you something, do you want to know or not?
EB: okay okay jeez.
EB: what is it?
CG: You know Terezi right?
EB: the one who killed me?
CG: Yes, her.
CG: Karkat's flushed for her.
EB: thats like having a crush on someone right?
CG: Spot on!
CG: You're doing g8!
CG: 8ut here's the catch: Karkat needs girl advice.
EB: i can do that!
CG: Of course you can. ::::)
CG: I've gotta run.
CG: Bye, John! 3
I got off Karkat's computer and laughed to myself. This was too easy.
=== Be Karkat Vantas
I was mad. Why? Because Vriska wasn't even there! What out the mothers of holy fuck was she up to?
I sat back down and John was pestering me again.
EB: bye vriska!
Oh. That's what.
CG: YOU ARE TALKING TO KARKAT, DUMBASS.
EB: vriska said you needed girl advice. :B
CG: WHY OUT OF ALL THE GREAT FUCKS WAS SHE ON MY COMPUTER?
So this was what she was up to!
EB: she said something about terezi.
CG: WHAT COULD VRISKA HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT TEREZI AND ME?
CG: IF YOU THOUGHT "NOTHING", THAN YOU'RE SMARTER THAN I THOUGHT.
CG: DING, DING, DING, DING, DING!
CG: IF YOU THOUGHT "NOTHING" WE SHOULD JUST GIVE YOU A FUCKING PRIZE.
CG: THE "I'M NOT A TOTAL NAIVE IDIOT" AWARD!
CG: DERPS ARE AWARDED THIS PRIZE ACROSS THE GALAXY.
EB: she said that you liked her and needed girl advice.
EB: like you needed help.
EB: wait for it.
EB: MAKING A MOVE!
CG: GET BACK TO BEING A MORON AND STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS.
EB: but karkat vriska said I needed to give you girl advice. :/
CG: I DON'T GIVE TWO FLYING FUCKS SOARING ACROSS THE GALAXY IN SLOW MOTION ABOUT WHAT VRISKA SAID.
CG: AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU, EGDERP.
EB: but karkat... :\
CG: JUST SHUT YOUR PROTEIN SHUTE, AND CARRY ON WITH YOUR PATHETIC LIFE.
CG: IT'S NO ONES BUSINESS.
CG: I DON'T SEE WHY ANYONE COULD GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY REDROM.
CG: IT'S LIKE
CG: HEY HELLO CAN I FUCKING INVADE YOUR PRIVACY?
CG: SURE I DO NEED GIRL ADVICE BUT WHY WOULD I ASK SOMEONE LKE YOU?
CG: I DOUBT YOU'VE EVERY LIKED ANYONE BUT YOUR STUPID MOVIE ACTORS.
Uh oh. I just got myself damned to the deep depths of troll hell. John grinned, the human bastard. Dear god, what did I just get myself into.
EB: well im going to give you girl advice anyway.
CG: DEAR GOD
CG: WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?
I put my head on the table and waited.
EB: chicks dig it when you give them flowers.
EB: i saw in
CG: DON'T GIVE A FUCK.
CG: BUT, WHAT IN ALL OF THIS DAMNED GALAXY IS A FLOWER?
CB: uh here.
John picked up something that was apparently a flower. It was brownish and had a brownish orange circular thing on top of the brown stem.
It reminded me of- nope not thinking about that incident. I turned to make sure Kanaya wasn't pulling another trick.
CB: um like this but.
- carcinoGeneticist [CG] stopped trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -
I logged off completely. No more of those idiotic hacking incidents. I pushed away from my seat. No one cared.
=== Be Vriska
I saw Karkat run outside and laughed. I ran outside onto the dirt and dust of the meteor.
20 minutes later
=== Be Karkat
I got the stupid fwower and then logged back on to my computer. I set the time setting to seconds after I logged off.
CG: I GOT THE STUPID FWOWER.
CG: OR AT LEAST IT LOOKS LIKE THE THING YOU WERE HOLDING.
CG: NOW WHAT?
EB: you give it to her.
CG:WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THAT?
EB: i don't know but just give it to her.
CG: YOU MEAN I'M GONNA LOOK LIKE YOU.
CG: WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS A COMPLETE DERP, AND END UP MAKING A COMPLETE FOOL OF MYSELF.
CG: AND EVERYONE WILL LAUGH 'TILL THEY SHIT THEMSELVES.
EB: just do it karkat! :D
I held something that resembled what John had been holding. I looked like an idiot holding it. The stem was a dark brown, and there weren't petals.
I gathered as much as wit as I could before approaching Terezi. She was at her computer cackling before disgusting screen tastes. She was almost definatly talking to that Striderdouche. That made me mad. So damned mad.
I tapped her shoulder.
"How may I help you, Karkles?" She said looking in my direction. Oh her eyes even behind her red glasses, looked beautiful. Like cherries. She blinked, and I snapped out of it.
"For the fiftith-fucking-time don't call me that."
For the fiftith-fucking-time she obviously didn't give to fucks what I said.
"Just smell this be damned thing." I said.
She leaned forward giving it a good long wiff. She wrinkled her nose.
"It smells like hoofbeast shit."
"Well shit, I might as well have just cried for twenty-minutes in a corner, than spend it looking around in nothing-ness for that piece of shit. Just take the damned thing." I said. She stuck her hand out and dropped the some what weedy thing into he palm. She set it on the space next to he key board.
I heard Vriska laughing in the backround. My face must have been painted by troll-fucking-picasso red.
"What's the purpose of it?" She said turning her head
"...John said girls like fwowers...He's such an idiot."
"Ha...Ha, ha...Ha ha ha ha!" Vriska burst into another laughing fit. She then took a stride closer to annoy the fuck out of me "You actually took John's advice? It's too much!"
Terezi wasn't amused apparently, she had never turned her head to look over. "Thanks, Karkat, I love it." She smiled a smile that could do more damage than an entire army of subjugglators could ever do. It made me want to swoon.
"Awwwwwwww, little troll love. How adorable." Vriska said in a small grub like voice. That infuriated me to no end.
===== Be Terezi
I had to admit I was attracted to Karkat. This was normal behavior for Vriska, but somehow I wanted the joke to be on her. He he he, this'll get her goat lusus.
"He he he, damn straight!" I said in what I thought was Vriska's direction, and pulled Karkat into a kiss. I think I missed by a couple inches at first. Oh Karkat, he can never jump into action when he needs to. He's just going to stand here with his eyes popping out.
Vriska must have mentally shat her pants because she stared open mouthed for a good five seconds until I let Karkat go. I wiped my mouth; Karkat's face was on fire,and I was satisfied.
Vriska stalked off muttering to herself, and I grinned.
====== Be Karkat
That. Was. Fucking. Amazing.
A/N: Still pretty shitty, sorry.