Disclaimer: I know I ignore certain nights and change dialouge slightly. I don't know it by heart.
Meet Dave Lawson. He has been a roommate of Katie Featherston for more than 20 years. She doesn't know that. She actually thinks she is being haunted because, unbeknownst to him, he is an invisible demon.
Katie has been dating a man named Micah Sloat for several years now. Dave is cool with this. Unfortunately though, Micah ALSO thinks that Dave is a demon trying to hurt them. This is not the case.
As Katie and Micah sleeps, Dave walks into the room, slightly breezing the door an inch.
"Sorry, sorry, just got to get my phone." Dave whispers as he grabs his phone off the counter and leaves.
The next day.
Micah plays with the door, imitating the moving door.
"So is this your idea of terrorizing us? Huh?" Micah says to Dave.
"Um, I was just getting my phone, dude. Chill. Hey, Ima get some sausage. Is that cool?" Dave says standing next to Micah.
"You better not mess with us anymore!" Micah shouts.
"Yeeeah, I'm guessing thats a no. Well, see ya later. I'm gonna watch some 'Arrested Development'."
"Hey, Micah!" Katie's voice shouted from downstairs.
Both Micah and Dave head down the stairs.
"My keys were on the...floor!" Katie says with surprise.
"Oops, sorry! I must have knocked them on the floor. Sorry." Dave apologizes.
"I'm scared there's something in the house, Micah." Kate says.
"Uh, yeah! I've been trying to tell you that for a while now! Like, say, 20 years!" Dave was very upset. He considered himself a calm person, and these two, who he thought were his best friends, were messing with his zen!
As Micah and Katie slept, Dave stayed up late, streaming and watching episodes of 'Arrested Development'.
"Ha-ah! This episode is so funny! I've got to tell the two love birds!"
Dave walked to the wall where, on the other side, the Micah and Katie slept, and Dave banged on the wall.
"Hey! Come chill in my room and watch some 'Arrested Development' with me!"
Micah and Katie obviously did not understand this, so they jerked awake and screamed in terror.
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" The two screamed.
"Seriously?" Dave, again, was hurt by the prospect that his friends were ignoring him.
In the daylight...
Micah was just taunting Dave now. He was going around the room, touting a microphone.
"Is there anyone here? Do you have something to say?"
Luckily, Dave was in the room, chilling out while this was transpiring.
"Um, YEAH, doofus, ME." Dave was pretty p..
Later, Dave spotted Micah playing with the audio, when he heard Dave's voice speak up.
"Wow, that's my voice? I sound really weird."
"Listen, the Demon! It spoke! Oh my god!" Micah said to Katie. He genuinely sounded surprised.
"I wonder...can they not see me? Is THAT what's been going on all this time?" Dave contimplated. "...Nah! They're just screwing around with me. The joke gets kinda boring after 20 years, though."
Another Day, Another Life...
Dave overheard arguing between Micah and Katie, yelling about something.
"Jeez, those two need some counselors or something, dude..."
He heard the two leave the house and drive off somewhere.
"Wait a second! I gotta get us some milk! I bought Boo Berry for nothing!" Dave remembered, then headed downstairs to write a note for Micah and Katie in case they got back. He couldn't find ANY paper.
"Dang it! Who doesn't have paper! Oh, well, there's an Ouiji Board here, I'll just scratch a message with my talons. I wonder why nobody else in the world has talons...and why everyone in the world is in on the 'IGNORE DAVE' joke."
Dave scratched the words "GOODBYE MICAH" on the Ouiji Board, but the claws created a fire on the board.
"Oh GOD! Oh crap! Water! Extinguisher!"
Luckily, he threw a few buckets of water on the board, and dried up the area around the board with a towel.
"Great...now time for Wal-Mart! Got to get that milk!"
During the sleepless nights, hearts broken in two...
Dave walked in Micah and Katie's room for his keys.
"Sorry, sorry!" He whispered when he noticed that he was stepping in white powder, leaving footprints.
"What the crap, guys! White powder! You guys are, like, 5 years old!"
He then suddenly remembered something.
"Wait, I found that burnt picture of little Katie in my stuff! I aughta put that in the attic and give it to her!"
He walked to the attic entrance closet.
"I think it will be easier to bust through the ceiling. Fast entrance."
During that night...
Micah and Katie were looking through the busted attic.
"Oh my god, there's something in the attic!" Micah said.
"Oh, yeah! I left an early Birthday present in there for you, Katie!" Dave said with happiness.
Micah hands the burnt picture to Katie.
"Oh my god... That picture burnt up in my house 20 years ago..." Katie said.
"Micah, this picture of us is broken..." Katie said.
"Yeah, sorry, I had a rough night. Druuuunnnnk." Dave said with regret, rubbing his head. "That reminds me, I have a date tonight, can you check mah breath?"
Dave started to breath down Katie's neck.
"Oh my god...it's breathing on me..."Katie said, not realizing that the very creepy breathing from Dave was innocent.
"Ok, NEVERMIND! Apparently I'm an IT now! THANKS A LOT!" Dave was frustrated that these two STILL thought the ignoring thing was funny.
Another Night on the town...
Dave was passing by Katie and Micah's room to the kitchen when he spotted Katie creepily staring at her boyfriend.
"O...k..." Dave had chills running up his demon spine.
In the waking of the day...
A psychic was visiting the three besties.
"Hey, man. Wassup?"
"There's a strange presence in this house...I cannot be here any longer!" The Psychic was pretty freaked out.
"I hate you two. So much." Dave started crying and ran wimpily up the stairs.
Finish the Night.
Again, as Dave tip-toed into the kitchen, he saw Katie staring at Micah on the bed.
"Hey, is everything alright, Katie?" Dave was worried about his friend, who appeared to be frickin' nuts.
Slowly, Katie started walking toward Dave. In a voice that was not hers, Katie said, "Wassup, man."
Dave slanted his lizardy demon eyes.
"Somethings not right here. You're not ignoring me! You're possessed! OH MY GOD! DEMON! GHOST WHATEVER!"
Dave ran down the stairs like a little girl.
Katie followed him, but Dave was hidden from sight. Suddenly, Katie started screaming like a possessed psycho. Which she was.
"YOU CRAZY GHOST-PERSON!" Dave had to shout over Katie's screaming.
Micah ran downstairs in a flash-like rush and saw Katie, who had a MASSIVE nose-bleed, which made Micah scream as well.
"MICAH, MAN! WE GOT TO GET UPSTAIRS! SHE'S GOT TO HAVE MEDICAL ATTENTION OR SUMTHIN' MAN!" Dave started running up the stairs with Micah, when he realized that he needed to be a hero.
"Micah, get in there man!" Dave shouted as Micah turned around to look at Katie crawling up the stairs.
Dave pushed Micah inside of Micah's room, and he hit a camera that was inside their room to it's side.
"Whoa, I never noticed you guys had a camera in your room. Kinda kinkily disturbing."
Katie crawled in between Dave's legs and to the camera.
"Um...you need some aspirin or something?"
Katie bites the camera.
"This is some weird stuff."