Soli Deo gloria

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Tangled. Now, when I first saw Tangled and Flynn did the Smolder, I wasn't head over heels for him—I was head over heels in laughter because it struck me as funny! What if Rapunzel thought that it was hilarious as well? Hmmmmm. . .

~ Flynn's POV ~

Now what this girl was offering as a deal wasn't even a deal; it was more like a blackmail. I honestly didn't know what to make of her; she was without a doubt the oddest girl I've ever met, and myself being a ladies man, I've met my fair share of weird women—but, oh, was she weird.

But, I told myself, all women had something in common. They always fall head over heels in love with my perfect pouting face, which I had proudly dubbed 'The Smolder.' Yep, in these sort of situations when I needed to get out of a tight fix, the Smolder does its job perfectly. One minute they're threatening you with who knows how many weapons and the next they're swooning over you. It's pretty cool.

This was one of those said situations, and I had a get-out-of-jail-free card—well, more like a get-out-of-a-jail-made-out-of-hair-free card. No question about it, this was going to work out to my advantage, and the opportunity was just right when she jumped down from her mantle and supported the chair. She solemnly promised that she would give me my beloved satchel with my crown (yes, it's my crown now) if I took her to see the stupid lanterns. Whatever.

I cleared my throat and asked her quietly, 'cause I still really didn't get what she was saying, "Let me just get this straight. I take you to see the lanterns, bring you back home, and you'll give me back my satchel?"

The girl put on the most serious face she could muster and answered seriously, "I promise."

Really? I've been a thief for, what, like, ten years now? And nobody ever keeps their promises, and I mean nobody. I gave her a look—no, not the Smolder just yet, just a regular ol' look that said, "Seriously? You're promising?"

She responded with, "And when I promise something, I never ever break that promise." I highly doubt that. I let her know that with a skeptically raised eyebrow. Blondie added, "Ever." The little green thing on her shoulder, a strange mutant frog of some sort (told you she was weird), nodded in agreement. I was a bit perturbed as to how the frog could understand this conversation.

I looked around for no particular reason—to fool around with her—and then went with my last resort. I then said quietly, "I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the Smolder."

I dipped my head down to my chest and raised it up to her with the Smolder. It's a very carefully constructed face if you ask me. My eyebrows were each raised at one end and my lips perfectly pursed. I screwed up my eyes the slightest bit and looked at her carefully. Oh, man, she was going to go gaga over this! She'd sigh and smile and release me without a single bad word.

Ohhhhhhh man.

Why was she smiling at me?

A faint glimmer of laughter showed through on her serious face and a bright smile slowly etched its way onto her lips. Her smile grew bigger and her lips twitched about and, wait? Was she holding back laughter?

She apparently couldn't hold it in any longer and she burst out laughing. That made me thoroughly unamused. Not only was she laughing at the Smolder—the Smolder, people!—she went and let go of the chair. I yelped and fell on my face. Again. Did I tell you that I was mad?

She managed to bend down and raise me back up before she exploded into another round of giggles. Good, solid ground. And to add insult to injury, the stupid frog type thing was rolling over on his back and chuckling! At me! I scowled as she placed her hands on her hips to try to control herself as she released a little snort. The little hiccup in her laughter would've have been kinda adorable if she wasn't laughing at the Smolder at this very moment!

Blondie managed to speak somehow through her huge snickers, "That was hilarious! Wasn't it, Pascal?" The little green frog nodded and they both burst into another amount of laughter.

I was terribly irked at them at this point in time. How, I mean, how dare she laugh, at all things, the Smolder? The Smolder was my pride and joy, my thing, and she laughed at it as if it was funny! Which it's not. At all.

"Would you stop that?" I asked in earnest. I couldn't take it any longer! They could not belittle the Smolder like this!

"Stop what?" the girl asked innocently. Okay, she had been laughing at my creation for the past five minutes and she didn't know what I was talking about? I think the girl knows a little bit sarcasm.

"Laughing," I answered her matter-of-factly. "Duh."

"Oh, that," she gulped down another set of chortles while she wiped away the tears that'd spilled out of her eyes. Oh, great, I made a girl cry, and I hadn't even tried. I hadn't made her cry because of me leaving her alone, filled with heartbreak ('cause I do that to girls sometimes)—nope, I made her cry out of laughter.

"Okay," she bent down and grabbed the frog and put him on her shoulder. She fanned herself to try to get some fresh air into her; she probably needed it considering how long she was deprecating the Smolder! She stopped and tipped the chair towards herself.

"Deal?" Blondie asked me. She resumed her serious look, and so did the frog. Good.

Okay, just remember that I was ready to do anything to get my satchel back and away from these two who sure knew how to hurt a guy's feelings. "Fine, I'll take you to see the lanterns!" I told her in a scowling tone.

"REALLY?" she squealed with excitement. For the third time in the last ten minutes, I fell on my face while tied to a chair with a weird girl's freakishly long hair. I groaned when I heard her say to me in a kind voice, "Now I can't take you seriously for the whole trip."

I groaned again in annoyance. It was still just late morning, I didn't have my satchel, I had to babysit a teen and her fungus, as I shall secretly call the frog, and I had my beloved face destroyed by said girl. Yes, Flynn Rider, this is going to be a very long and painful day.

Can I just say how FUN! that was to write? I was holding back laughter the whole time. I hoped you enjoyed it! Please review!