AN: All right then. I promised you guys a soundtrack and here it is. ...Along with a few other treats. Sorry it's so late!
Disclaimer: I own none of the songs and none of the characters you recognize.
Rabbit Hole: Goodie Bag
Treat Number One:
Three ''Outtakes'' from Rabbit Hole (aka three missing and/or deleted scenes)
(At the end of the night with her memories of future!Bray wiped clean, Ruby laments on the disappointing way she spent Halloween and an old friend drops by to make sure she's all right.)
1:05 am, Dean and Ruby's House
Ruby is not a fan of many holidays, but she loves Halloween. Sure, these days it's mostly seen as campy fun; a night filled with sugar comas, cheesy horror movies and way too loud decorations, but back in the day it was a legitimately badass celebration. Call it what you want - Halloween, Samhain, All Hallow's Eve, Day of the Dead - but it is rooted in pure power and if there's anything Ruby likes more than overly gory movie massacres and candy corn, it is power. She was a witch in her human life, all right? A real, honest to God witch. And whether she likes it or not, she's still got that witchiness in her and on Halloween, she can feel that power in the air, in her veins. It's like a runner's high. It lifts her up.
So, yes. She likes Halloween.
But this Halloween...
Well, she's going to go ahead and write this year off as a failure. Bray had a perfectly fine time and that's great, it really is, but Ruby didn't get to spend nearly enough time with her little Alice in Wonderland and she was drugged (drugged, people) by a sick and twisted rakshasa and her dress is ruined. So you'll excuse her if she's not really basking in the glow of a successful spooktacular.
With a heavy and tired sigh, she pads barefooted into the darkened bedroom, kicking the door shut behind her. She tosses her heels by the foot of the bed carelessly and makes her way into the bathroom, clicking on the light. An instant grimace crosses her lips at the state of her clothes and the dried, congealed blood on her forehead. She groans and turns to snatch a washcloth off the towel rack. It's when she's holding it under the warm spray that she hears it. It's a barely a noise, not even a sound, like an almost ruffle, a half creak. She whirls around.
There's no one there.
Still keyed up and on edge from the night's unfortunate events, she slinks forwards to poke her head into the bedroom. ''Dean?'' Nope. He's not there. Ruby takes in a deep breath and decides it's nothing. Just her frayed nerves. Of course as soon as she turns around, she bumps straight into a familiar chest and staggers backwards, emitting a small gasp.
Castiel doesn't miss a beat. ''You're hurt.''
She gapes at him. Once the shock wears off, the anger sets in. Six months. It's been nearly six months since she's seen him. Since he left both her and Dean behind to go be Heaven's newest Sheriff. Six months without so much as an I'm okay. How are you? Still utterly fucked? Sorry about that. Can I offer you a hug? and tonight is the night he chooses to show his face? Her eyes flash and she reacts on instinct. By slapping him across the face. There's probably a better way to handle these sorts of things but eh, whatever.
''And quite angry from what I can tell,'' he adds on carefully.
Deciding she's not quite done with the anger part yet, she shoves at his chest roughly. ''Where the hell have you been?''
''Heaven,'' he says simply. ''You know that.'' Completely oblivious to the fact that his vague answer does not appease her in the slightest, he continues. ''I heard about your trouble tonight. I wanted to see you. I was...'' He pauses, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, dropping his gaze.
She softens, blowing out a breath. ''Worried?''
He looks up to meet her eyes. ''Yes. I was worried.'' He eyes the cut on her forehead. ''Ruby, please let me heal you.''
She draws away from him, taking a step back when he takes a step forwards. ''It's not that bad,'' she says. ''I don't need you.''
Perhaps it's her imagination, but he actually looks hurt by that. Extremely so. She swallows and turns her back on him so she doesn't have to look into his big puppy dog eyes that are so much worse than Sam's. ''Very well,'' he eventually says, stepping past her. He takes the washcloth from her hand and holds it under the warm water, keeping his eyes on anything but her.
Come on, the reasonable part of her brain is telling her. Don't you miss your best friend? Do you really want to sit in stony silence with him for the five minutes that he's allowing himself to see you?
He left you, the stubborn and hurt part reminds her. He left you behind, he left Bray behind, he left Dean behind. And he never even looked back. Don't forget that.
Ignoring her futile and half hearted resisting, he brings the warm washcloth to her forehead to wipe away the dried blood gently. ''You're right,'' he says softly, so quiet she can barely hear him. ''It's not that bad.'' She's not completely convinced that he's talking about the cut on her head.
She doesn't respond for the longest time, but when she does, she doesn't address any of the issues between them or the hurt he caused her. Instead, she catches his hand, takes the cloth from his grasp and puts it on the counter. ''I can take it from here,'' she says quietly. ''You should go. Dean will flip if he sees you and then he'll get drunk and brood and he's been doing so good lately, so just...'' She closes her eyes briefly, trying to keep her breathing even. When she opens her eyes, she pastes a crooked smile on her face and reaches up to fix his tie because that's their thing. That's what they do. She fixes his tie. It's like their version of the patented bitch and jerk display that Dean and Sam put on. (...Used to put on.) When she's done, she smoothes down his shirt, brushes off his trench coat, plucks off a piece of lint and fixes his collar.
It's what she does.
''You need to go,'' she tells him firmly. ''Now.''
He pinches his lips together, but doesn't verbally protest. ''Ruby,'' he says after a beat. ''I know this may not mean much to you, but I am sorry for leaving.''
She scoffs and turns away, pulling open the drawer to search for a band aid. ''You're right,'' she murmurs. ''It doesn't mean much.''
''I do find myself missing you. ...If that means anything.''
Her busy hands still and she spins around to face him.
He's already gone.
end of outtake #1
(Dean takes little Bray trick or treating. They have a run in with the Crowell family.)
5:49 pm, Grimm Street/Dean and Ruby's Neighborhood (and how ironic is it that they live on Grimm street? Goddamn, Dean hates that fucking street name)
''You're the world's tiniest mastermind, you know that?''
In response to that, Bray grins up at her father, eyes gleaming triumphantly. They've barely been trick or treating for ten minutes and she's already got way too much candy for such a tiny little girl. And it's all because of her method of getting treats, which is basically a gummy and adorable smile and a little squeak of, ''Candy! I want candy!'' Instead of finding that a little too strong, people seem to find it the cutest thing they have ever seen, cooing over and heaping handfuls of candy into her apparently too small pumpkin bucket. Sometimes, she's too cute for her own good. It's as simple as that.
Toddling down the pathway of the Henderson's house, Bray squeezes her father's hand and tries not to trip on her costume, her focus on the candy in her bucket. She's practically drooling right now, eyes as wide as saucers. This is what she gets from her father. Total and complete adoration of every food source that is bad for you. As soon as they get to the sidewalk, she digs her heels into the ground and lets go of his hand. ''Wait!''
Dean stops in his tracks and looks down at her, instinctively checking her over for injuries or a costume malfunction. She shoves her hand into her treasure, lit up like a Christmas tree. He frowns curiously. ''Whatcha doin' there, sugar?'' Distractedly, she mumbles out that she's looking for the good candy. At least he thinks that's what she says. He chuckles, shakes his head and lets her. While she is busy digging around for the good candy, whatever that may be, he looks around the neighborhood at the brightly colored costumes and elaborate decorations.
His eyes land on the crowd of kids at the next house, their loud cries of ''trick or treat'' resounding through the air. His smile dims when he notices something strange about that group of children. That's not one group of children, that's just a tangle of children who ended up waiting on the doorstep together because old Mr. Sal takes forever to open the door. Three of the older ones race off to the next house, their parents slowly trailing after them as they talk amongst each other. One goes thundering towards her dad, shoving her foil halo at him with barely concealed frustration, clearly annoyed for the last time by the accessory. Two others, little ones, trail down the driveway to their awaiting parents. But the last two, a miniscule dragon and a Minnie Mouse wannabe don't have anyone to go to. Minnie helps her dragon companion down the steps and has to stop at the end of the walkway, bending down to help him with his costume. He recognizes those two trick or treaters.
He looks around the street in search of their parents. Okay, so let's just give them the benefit of the doubt for a minute. Maybe they're just - Nope. Mouse girl and dragon boy are all alone. Dean huffs out a frustrated breath. ''Son of a bitch.'' With barely contained anger, he scoops up his daughter despite her protests that she's ''still busy, Daddy'' and strides over to the two young children who should not be alone, coming to a halt in front of them. He tries to be as cheerful as possible, offering them both a wide smile and a greeting of, ''Hey, guys. You two look great.''
Minnie Mouse looks up at him and beams. ''Oh, hi, Mr. Winchester! Thank you! I picked out Alex's costume all by myself.''
He doesn't sigh, no matter how much he wants to. ''That's great, Aubrey.'' He glances down at his daughter and looks in between her and Alex, who are giving each other extremely distrustful looks like they're two cats about to claw at each other. Yes, Alex and Bray have their issues. Hair pulling, toy stealing issues. Hesitantly, he crouches down in front of Aubrey, still doing his best to smile for her. Here's the thing: Aubrey and Alex Crowell may have insufferable parents, Alex may be a hair pulling troublemaker and Aubrey may be way too smart for a ten year old and a little on the obnoxious side, but Dean still has sympathy for them. They're just kids. They don't deserve to be ruined for life just because their parents are totally fucked up. ''Sweetheart,'' he says softly, absently pulling her pink puffy jacket tighter around her to keep her warm. ''Where are your parents?''
''Daddy's working,'' she says matter-of-factly. ''Halloween is always very, very busy for him.''
''And your mom?''
The little girl's smile fades and she looks at her brother. ''...She wanted to stay home and hand out all the candy we bought.'' She smiles again, undoubtedly fake this time. ''We bought lots of candy this year.''
Ah, yes. And that would be code. Dean knows that code.
When Robyn Crowell opens the door, she's got a glass of wine in her hand and her face is, as usual, pinched in distaste. Well, now. That ever present I'm better than you expression is just plastered permanently on her face, isn't it? When she spots Dean Winchester standing on her doorstep with her son on his hip and two little girls beside him (one of them being her sheepish looking daughter), her face sours, if possible, even more. ''What,'' she snarls out, ''do you think you're doing?''
''I have a question for you.''
He ignores her. ''Why are your kids trick or treating alone?''
''They're old enough.''
''They are ten and two, Robyn. Alex can barely walk in his costume and Aubrey's ears keep falling in her face, but she can't fix them because she's got her candy in one hand and Alex's hand in the other.''
''Well,'' Robyn shrugs, unconcerned, and takes a sip of her wine. ''Adam's at work. Halloween's the busiest night of the year for emergency responders.''
He stares at her expectantly. ''You're not.''
She doesn't get the hint. ''It's cold out.''
He clenches his teeth. There is something seriously wrong with this woman. It's times like these when he understands perfectly why Ruby has declared war with her. Slowly, he puts Alex down on the porch and turns around to face the kids. ''Hey, Aubrey, why don't you and the kids head over to the Larsen's house next door, okay?''
''Oh, but Alex and I already went there,'' Aubrey points out, still smiling.
''Well, go there again. I think you guys are cute enough to get seconds. Just stay where I can see you, okay?''
Aubrey looks in between Dean and her mother for a moment too long and for a second, she just looks like an incredibly sad ten year old girl who's trying to be a mom to her little brother because her parents suck. Yeah, it's possible that might hit a little too close to home for Dean. Aubrey nods eventually, avoiding her mother's piercing, withering glare. She takes both Bray and Alex by the hand to help them down the steps and only looks back once.
Dean keeps a cheerful smile on his face until he sees them walking up the driveway of the Larsen's. The smile drops off his lips as he turns back to Robyn. ''What are you doing, Robyn?''
''They were fine,'' she snaps out spitefully. ''They were both fine until you came along and upset them!''
''They were not fi...Aubrey can't...You can't keep making her do all of this by herself!''
Her eyes flash and she steps over the threshold to poke him on the chest. ''I am not making her do anything, Dean.'' She narrows her eyes in suspicion and leans in closer to him. ''Your wife put you up to this, didn't she?''
''No.'' He rubs his temples. ''All right, look...'' He sighs and steps away from her. This needs to end before he gets in way too deep and winds up saying something he'll regret, which is definitely a huge possibility with this desperate housewife. Robyn Crowell has a way of sucking you into this whirlpool of deep and dark despair that you can't claw your way out of and he doesn't feel like being tangled in her web right now. ''This is your business, Mrs. Crowell,'' he tells her, voice tight with restrained anger. ''You're their mother and I'm sure you're doing the best you possibly can.'' He gives her a pointed look. ''But if you don't mind, I'm going to take them trick or treating, just in case they need anything. I'll have them back home in half an hour. Is that okay with you?''
For a second, he actually thinks she might soften. Maybe even thank him. There's a look in her eyes that looks like its three seconds away from morphing into full on regret. Maybe, he thinks, there is a soul somewhere underneath the designer clothes and wine soaked skin. But then her lips twist into an ugly sneer and she shakes dark hair into her face. ''Fine,'' she says through her teeth. ''Whatever.'' Her fingers tighten around the wine glass in her hands. ''But,'' she leans closer to grasp his shirt. ''If your little daughter touches one hair on my son's head, you can tell your wife to forget about getting Bray into Meadowbrook Preschool, you got me? I know people.'' And then she steps back into her house, scowls, and slams the door in his face.
Dean lets out a breath and shakes his head. That is one irreversibly fucked up woman. (Oh, well, then you'd think they would get along better.) Spinning on his heel, he jogs down the steps and starts down the pathway only to stop in his tracks when he feels eyes on him. He turns and looks towards the window, where Robyn is glaring out at him like she's trying to throw enough hatred in his direction to make him trip and fall on his face. He rolls his eyes and flicks a look up at the sky. ''I dare you to smite her.''
As he's walking down the path, sprinting to catch up with the kids, he doesn't see the wine glass in her hands spontaneously shatter, a shriek erupting from her lips.
end outtake #2
(2026. The Winchester family Halloween party is in full swing. Shenanigans occur.)
8:15 pm, Dean and Ruby's House
''Do I have to be stuck with the kiddie punch?''
''Yes, because you're not legal.''
''I'm legal in Canada. OH! Let's go to CANADA!''
This is the conversation Bray overhears taking place between her father and Maisie as she's sprinting down the stairs, after trying to spice up her costume with whatever she could find in her old room. As shocking as this may sound, it's really hard to spice up a ''homeless person'' costume, so she winds up giving up and just messing her hair up to further display her homelessness. She's going to have to agree with Maisie on this one. Bray's not a huge drinker (because she remembers how much her dad used to drink and she remembers the damage it did when she was a little girl), but she could totally use a drink tonight. She is worn out, exhaustion going all the way to her bones, and that handful of painkillers is doing nothing for her because her stomach is throbbing right now.
''Actually,'' she pipes up, sidling up to Maisie. ''In South Dakota, it's legal for an eighteen year old to drink if they're in the presence of their parent or guardian.''
Her father does not look amused by that.
Maisie giggles. ''Oh, gotcha there, Daddy Winchester.''
''You're making that up,'' he says with a frown.
Bray shakes her head. ''No, I'm serious. It's true. Google it.''
''I can do better than that.'' He gives them both a warning look and disappears into the throngs of neighbors in costumes, reappearing moments later steering Carrie and her Halloween protesting sandwich board over to the refreshment table. ''Carrie,'' he puts a hand on her shoulder, leaning down to talk in her ear over the sound of Monster Mash. ''Question for you. It is legal for an eighteen year old to drink in South Dakota?''
Carrie nods. ''Sure,'' she shrugs. ''As long as they're in the presence of either a guardian, parent or spouse who is at least twenty one. Actually the same goes for someone like sixteen or seventeen. They can drink alcohol as long as they're with a guardian, parent or spouse who is at least twenty one and as long as they're not drinking at an establishment that is licensed for alcohol distribution.'' She shakes her head, her eyes doing that weird glinty thing they do when she gets really wrapped up in weird facts that no normal person knows by heart. ''Alcohol laws are actually quite fascinating, you know.''
Weirdest twelve year old ever.
Dad grunts. ''Okay, you were no help at all.'' He nudges her back towards the party. ''Shoo, Tigerflower.''
Carrie shoots him a death glare. ''Tigerlily.''
''Yeah, that's what I said.''
She sticks her nose up into the air and disappears back into the wall of people.
Dad puts his hands on his hips and turns back to Maisie and Bray. ''She read Carrie yesterday and decided that her parents committed a horrible crime by naming her that, so she changed her name to Tigerlily.''
Maisie's jaw falls to the floor. ''...She read Carrie in a day?''
''Actually, she read it in two and half hours,'' Dad says simply. ''She came here for some peace and quiet and wound up spending her afternoon in your - '' he points to Bray '' - old closet with her nose in a book.''
''In the closet?'' Maisie echoes. ''Like...inside of the closet?''
Bray shrugs. ''Sounds about right to me.''
Maisie shakes her head furiously. ''No, this is not the - that is the weirdest kid in the world... But no! No, not the point. You,'' she shoves an accusing finger in Dad's face, ''are trying to distract us. You heard the little weirdo genius girl. We are entitled to - ''
''You are not entitled to anything, Franklin,'' he chuckles. He folds his arms over his chest and looks back and forth between them, which is how Bray knows they're about to get a past indiscretion thrown right back in their faces because he's all smug and smirky and that is just what he does when he knows he's going to win. ''Do you girls remember that party you went to when you were sixteen 'cause you were idiots and on some idiotic quest to be popular? You let some Queen Bee chick talk you both into sneaking out and crashing that frat party. You both got - and I'm quoting you here - super wasted and what happened when I found out and came to get you, girls? What happened?''
''Um, you called Aunt Jodie and she came and broke up the party and the other girl we went with never spoke to me again,'' Bray says.
''When I showed up, you,'' he looks at Bray, ''you little babbly drunk, were talking the ear off some dude who looked stoned out of his mind. And you,'' he turns to Maisie, ''were doing a striptease. And I'm sorry but I'm not willing to encourage a repeat of that situation at this party. So, here.'' He hands them both a red plastic cup filled with harmless kiddie punch, too sweet and too fruity for anyone over the age of thirteen to enjoy. ''Drink up, girls. 'Cause this is all you're getting until you're twenty one. Deal with it. Besides,'' he pats Maisie's cheek. ''That boy you're crushin' on ain't gonna wanna get with a drunk chick. And if he is the kind of guy who wants to get with a drunk chick then you can do so much better. Also, I will beat him.''
''Whoa,'' Maisie murmurs. ''You have a really good memory.''
''It was only a few years ago,'' he says.
''My dad can't even remember what he had for breakfast!''
''Yeah, well...'' His teeth sink into his lip. It's clear he wants to respond to that so badly with a nasty remark. Instead, he lets a smile curve over his lips and pats them both on the head like they're still small children. ''Okay then! Have fun!''
Bray and Maisie both watch him go with identical dumbfounded expressions on their faces. Eventually, Bray is the first one to snap out of it, turning to her best friend with a serious shake of her head. ''Why did we even go to that party?''
Maisie arches an eyebrow, hand on her hip. ''Because you and Alex were in an off again stage and you wanted to make him jealous.'' Under her breath, she adds, ''We wouldn't have even gotten caught if it weren't for Alex ratting us out to your dad.''
''Well, excuse me for wanting to protect you both from getting date raped.'' Alex comes out of nowhere to stand next to Bray, shrugging back into his discarded jacket. ''It was a frat party, Maisie, and you were both wasted sixteen year old girls. You don't think things could have taken a dark turn?''
''Unlike you,'' Maisie tells him, ''I don't always choose to see the worst in people.''
He shrugs. ''Your prerogative.''
Bray sips at the punch experimentally and instantly makes a face. ''Oh my god, that's disgusting. It tastes like pure sugar. I'll bet you my brother made this.'' She moves to put her cup back down on the table, but Alex catches her hand, switching her cup for his. She stares at him questioningly and then sniffs at the drink. ''Whoa,'' she recoils. ''That's grown up punch. How'd you get your hands on this?''
He shrugs again. ''I have my ways.''
''Oh, come on. Don't do the mysterious thing,'' Maisie gripes. ''It lost its charm years ago. Where'd you get it?''
He smirks. ''Ruby gave it to me. Said as long I was surrounded by adults I could have one.''
''Aha!'' Maisie's eyes light up. ''See?'' She spins on her heel dramatically, stomping off into the distance with a wild cry of, ''Ruby! Dean's being unfair! He won't let me have a drink even though it's legal in South Dakota for someone eighteen years of age to drink responsibly as long as there's a parent and or guardian over the age of twenty one around!''
Bray shakes her head. ''Girl's got problems.''
''If she becomes an alcoholic, I'll be able to pinpoint the exact moment it started.''
She snickers lightly and turns to face him, fixing the collar of his jacket for him with one hand. ''You goin' somewhere, James Dean?''
''Yeah, I'm gonna run down the street and check on my dad.''
She nods, lips turning up in a small smile. ''Okay,'' she leans in to press a kiss to his cheek. ''Be careful.''
''Lila, it's just - ''
''Just your dad. I know. But still.'' She splays her hand out against his cheek. ''Just be careful for me.'' She gives him a bright smile and hopes it's convincing enough. The fake smile drops off her lips while she's watching him weave his way through the crowd and she lets out a heavy breath. Choking down a moan, she steps back out of the fray and sinks onto the stairs. She loves the annual Halloween party, it's one of her favourite things, but right now all she wants to do is go home and sleep. It's been a long few days. (Yeah, that's the understatement of the century.) With a yawn, she drops her head into her hands and lets her eyes droop shut.
''Why you dirty little liar, you.''
She cracks open one eye to peer up at her brother, standing in front of her with his hands on his hips, smirking down at her smugly. ''What are you talking about?''
Connor drops onto the step next to her, staring at her intently. ''You were lying earlier. About your mysterious nightmare. About the stitches.'' He crooks a finger in her face. ''I can always tell when you're lying.''
She sucks in a nervous breath and takes another gulp of the strong punch. ''I don't know what you're talking about.''
He rolls his eyes. ''Cut the bullshit, Bray. Just tell me already. What's going on?''
She smirks around the edge of her cup. ''You wouldn't believe me if I told you.''
She bites her lip and lowers the cup, looking at him carefully. Well, why the hell not? If she was going to tell anybody, it should be Connor. Looking around for prying eyes, she leans closer to him to whisper, ''Alex and I went back in time to save Dad.'' And then she smirks at the dumbfounded expression on her brother's face.
After a moment of blinking and stuttering, Connor swings his gaze over to their parents, who are on the other side of the room, whispering to each other. ''Know what?'' Connor raises his eyebrows, letting out a laugh. ''I believe you.''
''Mmmhmm.'' She nods, taking another sip of her drink.
''Okay then.'' He nods with her, matter-of-factly. ''So you went back in time and I spent all day playing video games with Nick.'' He shrugs. ''We are incredibly well balanced siblings.''
She chuckles tiredly. ''Could be worse.''
''Yeah,'' he mumbles under his breath. ''We could be Kardashians.''
end outtake #3
Treat Number Two:
Rabbit Hole: The Soundtrack
(Warning: I am about to get deep and redundant with some of these observations, people. Beware. I took this soundtrack perhaps a little too seriously. I couldn't help it! It was so much fun!)
01. Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) - Florence + The Machine
''The looking glass, so shiny and new. How quickly the glamour fades. I start spinning, slipping out of time; was that the wrong pill to take?'' So, as you know, the general theme of this story was Alice in Wonderland. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but something about Bray reminds me of that particular fairytale. She just has an Alice-like quality to her. And this story was exactly like her falling into Wonderland. Bray has a world. She has a life. She knows exactly where she fits into her life in 2026, but when she and Alex are thrown back in time, she's suddenly out of place with nowhere to belong. ''Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl, frozen in the headlights.'' She's struggling to keep her identity hidden and save her father and eventually, it all becomes frantic and chaotic and eventually, it all boils down to her making the ultimate sacrifice for her father by taking the knife for him. ''It seems I've made the final sacrifice.'' Like she mentions, it is all just the plight of a Winchester. Doomed to be self-sacrificing and incredibly family driven. It's almost like a sort of tunnel vision. It's what being a Winchester means. ''This is a gift, it comes with a price.'' Overall, this song is basically just perfect for the story and that's why I picked it for the theme song.
02. This Is Halloween (Cover from The Nightmare Before Christmas) - Marilyn Manson
''Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange?'' Because this is a Halloween story, I thought this song was appropriate. And yes, the original version is great and The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of my favourite movies, but the Marilyn Manson version adds a certain level of badassness that just seems to naturally pair with this story. ''Come with us and you will see, this our town of Halloween.'' Plus, it's got a creepy feeling to it. I can just imagine it playing while Dean was first discovering the mangled bodies of the missing women in the beginning, or during the Halloween party Ruby crashed in order to play bait. ''In this town we call home, everyone hail to the pumpkin song. In this down, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise!''
03. Stay - Hurts
I actually just recently discovered this song. It's apparently pretty popular, but I honestly just found it. Since then, I've decided that this song is perfect for the entire Lila Bray 'verse in general. ''So change your mind and say you're mind. Don't leave tonight. Stay.'' It works for every pairing. Dean/Ruby, Sam/Sarah, Bobby/Jodie (which, yes, is a part of the Lila Bray 'verse; that is probably one of the only canon SPN pairings that I wholeheartedly ship), Bray/Alex, Connor/Whatever his future girlfriend's name is. And it even works for the family/friendship pairings that run rampant in the 'verse like Dean and Sam and their brotherly bond to end all brotherly bonds, Ruby/Castiel (don't know if I've ever mentioned that, but they're pretty close), Bray and Connor, even Bray and her best friend Maisie. When it comes down to it, yes, this song is a love song. But I think that if SPN has taught us anything, it's that there is nothing deeper than the love we hold for our families. ''Stay with me, stay with me. Stay with me, stay with me.''
04. Banquet - Bloc Party
''A heart of stone, a smoking gun. I can give you live, I can take it away.'' Lila Bray Winchester is many things. One of her more pronounced qualities is how freaking badass she gets, a trait she gets from both her mother and her father. She's got double doses of kick ass in her. She's no damsel. But she is also an eighteen year old girl. As an eighteen year old girl, I can tell you that sometimes it fucking sucks, pardon my french. She may be the child of Dean and Ruby Winchester and part of her life may be ruled by the name Winchester - trying to live up to the legacy her father and uncle left behind must suck ass for her - but she is very much her own person. She's just a regular girl muddling her way through life, growing up, making mistakes, dealing with her anxiety disorder, and trying to figure out who she is. She's basically just trying to carve out her own path for herself. ''Turning away from the light. Becoming adult.'' I think that this little back in time journey was important for her in her quest for discovering herself. ''Turning into myself. I wanted to bite not destroy.'' Also, I heard this song on the trailer for Katie Cassidy's 2007 movie 'You Are Here' and I fell in love with it. I think it's perfect for the next generation.
05. Remember Everything - Five Finger Death Punch
''Oh, dear brother, just don't hate me.'' This would be a Dean song. The timeline for Rabbit Hole is October of 2010. It hasn't even been six months since Sam's death and as we all know, Dean doesn't deal well without his brother. He's hiding a lot of pain in this story. From Ruby, from himself. And because he's a father in this 'verse, he's really trying not to go down the boozy road that he's currently barreling down full speed ahead in canon. He probably has a lot of healthy ways to get out his feelings at his disposal, but he's Dean, of course he's going to pretend he's fine and pretend he's okay until he becomes incredibly evident that he is not. ''If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain? 'Cause I remember everything.''
06. Pumped Up Kicks - Foster the People
This song is addictive. And a little strange. The melody is upbeat and cheerful, but the lyrics are darker than midnight. ''But he's coming for you; yeah he's coming for you.'' As dark as they are, they somehow fit with the main villain of this story, the sick and twisted rakshasa. ''All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run, better run...''
07. Damned If She Do - The Kills
''She come alive when she's dying. She come alive when she's on her last legs.'' This song fits Bray so perfectly, which, in retrospect, is a little disturbing. It's not the happiest song in the world and the lyrics certainly aren't no ''we live in a beautiful world'' but they work so well for this story and Bray's rampant self-sacrificial tendencies. ''She damned if she will. She damned if she won't. Some of them left in one piece and some she damn near broke.'' What is it about Winchesters and their penchant for sacrificing themselves?
08. Runaway - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
''All along, not so strong without these open arms. Hold on tight.'' I think this is probably the song I imagine playing in the hospital when her dad hugged her and she just totally broke down. It's got that eerie sort of slow and haunting melody and the lyrics are both lost and comfort at the same time. There's this one line - ''Like you to stay, want you to be my prize'' - reminds me of why Bray did what she did in this story. It wasn't just purely for her dad, but her entire family.
09. If You Want Blood (You've Got It) - AC/DC
''If you want blood, you've got it. If you want blood, you've got it. Blood on the streets, blood on the rocks, blood in the gutter; every last drop.'' This strong strikes me as sort of an...action song? I don't know if that's the right way to describe it, but I think it works well for action scenes. And plus, come on, you can't have a playlist for a Supernatural story and not have a little bit of classic rock thrown in there.
10. I Know I'm a Wolf - Young Heretics
''And I've captured you once, but I wasn't quite right so I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me.'' I'm going to be honest with you. This song is creepy as fuck to me. And what better song to be the rakshasa's theme song than this song? I think it works really well for him because that was his whole game. He went to the bar, made the girls think he was harmless, drugged them, and then took them back to his lair to...eat them. ''So rabbit, please stop looking the other way. It's cold out there so why not stay here...under my tail...'' He was a true predator, and probably one of the creepiest villains I've ever written. I'm really glad I decided against writing out some of his darker scenes. That would have ruined the family vibe that I tried to convey with this story. ''I could keep you warm as long as you can just try to be brave.''
11. Infinity (Flufftronix Remix) - The XX
''I can't give it up.'' Well, this song seems to be making its rounds everywhere, doesn't it? And for good reason! It's a great remix and the beat really fits this story, in my humble opinion.
12. Invincible - Adelitas Way
''I'll break you a hundred different ways and I'll make you remember my face. Thought that I would let you leave, it's hard to stop what you can't see.'' The Winchesters are badass. It's just a fact. Dean and Sam have spent over six years being the biggest badasses on television and I have tried to make it clear that the trait of badassness has totally passed onto their children. ''I'm rising up. I've had enough.'' The Winchester family may not be technically invincible, but they are most definitely untouchable. Really, now. Monsters should just plain steer clear of them. ''I'm feeling invincible tonight; I'm alive, take a look into my eyes.''
13. When You Find Me - Joshua Radin featuring Maria Taylor
''My only weakness is knowing your secrets and holding them close, and holding them tight.'' It's a Dean and Bray song, plain and simple. It's so sweet and fluffy. It's a duet and the two singers (Joshua Radin and Maria Taylor) have voices that mesh together perfectly. I'm sure this song was intended to be a love song, but when I first heard it my immediate thought was ''this is such a Dean and Bray song.'' I suppose I should be more worried that fictional characters have a major hold on me, like a spell, but I'm not. ''I know the way to silently make you smile with my eyes, when you're trying to fight.'' This song has a beautiful delicacy to it that fits perfectly with the relationship that exists between Dean and Bray. ''Can you see that when I find you, I'll find me.''
14. Start a Fire - Ryan Star
This is Bray and Alex's song all the way. Every lyric works for the pairing, the beat is sweet and innocent and hot and sultry all at the same time. It's just right. It's like somebody took their characters and their relationship and wrote a song for them. ''I remember when you said your father's asleep. I remember swimming as our clothes drifted off to sea. So wake up, wake up dreaming and lie here with me. So wake up, wake up dreaming. And lie here with me.'' Seriously. I don't even know what else to say about this song other than it's their song and here are the awesome lyrics for this great song. ''Here we go, just lose control and let your body give in to the beat of your heart as my hand touches your skin. Is this love or just sexual desire? We're gonna start a fire.'' See what I mean? Oh, and I do have to give some props to BellaMiaLuna who actually first introduced me to this song awhile back, so thanks for that! This soundtrack wouldn't have been complete without it! ''I remember dancing as the stars were falling. I remember dancing on the hotel's unmade bed.''
15. Thank You - Led Zeppelin
''If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you.'' Frankly, this soundtrack wouldn't feel right if it didn't have a little Zeppelin in it. Dean and Ruby may have been through tough times and all, and things could get even worse for them, but...I don't think they realize how lucky they are in the Lila Bray 'verse. As crushing as their lives may seem to them sometimes, it could be worse. ''When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.'' Plus, I imagine Dean and Ruby probably danced to this song during their wedding, which happens sometime in the future. (After they danced to their song, that is. ...Their song being number 19 on this soundtrack.)
16. All the Small Things - Blink 182
''Say it ain't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home.'' This song is crazy and kooky and happy and all of the things that the future is for the Winchester family, what with Sam's many kids and his wacky wife and Dean and Ruby and their equally as insane life. Their normally insane life. The one they worked their asses off for. Someday, I should write a fic about their everyday life in the future. It would be like writing a sitcom. ...And if it were a sitcom, this would be the theme song. ''Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill, the night will go on, my little windmill.''
17. You and Me - Ryan Star
''Saw you standing across the room. I find my way to your heart. Couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I find my way to your heart. Till it's you and me, I've seen your eyes before. And it's you and me. I don't want anything more.'' Just another multi-couple/friendship song that works for romantic pairings and family friendships. Although this one is probably more romantic than family. It especially works for Bray and Alex, who have climbed their way to OTP status in my brain. It wasn't a long climb, but they've claimed their spot in my heart, that's for sure. ''Keep your window opened up. I find my way to your heart. Don't have money, I don't have much but I find a way to your heart.''
18. Monster Mash - Bobby ''Boris'' Pickett
''He did the mash, he did the monster mash. The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash.'' I would like to point out that it is virtually impossible to write a Halloween fic and not include this song on the soundtrack. This song is Halloween to me. ''He did the mash, it caught on in a flash. He did the mash, he did the monster mash.''
19. Dream a Little Dream of Me - The Mamas and the Papas
And here it is. The song that made the Lila Bray 'verse what it is today. The song that started it all. The song that was playing on the radio, barely audible over the static of the old station, while Lila Bray was conceived. ''Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper ''I love you'', birds singin' in the sycamore tree; dream a little dream of me.'' Yeah, I'm just going to put practically the whole song in here. This song is the Lila Bray 'verse, we need all the lyrics. ''Say nighty-night and kiss me, just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me, while I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me. Stars fading, but I linger on, dear, still craving your kiss. I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear, just saying this: Sweet dreams till sun beams find you, sweet dreams that leave our worries behind you. But in your dreams whatever they be, dream a little dream of me...''
AN: Annnd...DONE! Hope you all liked the extras! Be on the lookout for a new chapter of i carry your heart to be posted on the 14th.